Sometimes I love Phishermen

Kipluck 5:47 pm (0 minutes ago)
to davidpalmer707uk@yahoo.com.hk
date Jan 27, 2007 5:47 PM
subject Re: I Shall Await Your Response......(Confidential)



Dear David,

The fact that you are contacting me means 2 very cherished things to me. 1. that you are not really dead as we were lead to believe on 24 and 2. that you trust me with this weighty matter of money and privacy. Please know that splitting such a large sum with you is tempting. I am out of Carefresh and the cages need to be cleaned and that stuff doesn't come cheap. I have to buy it at Petco or Petsmart, not WalMart and even with the cards, well, it adds up. Maybe you think I should buy a generic brand, but it really helps with the smell, David. But let me be honest with you and please hear me out about an alternative plan.

You say you are not a criminal... that you are a family man. But what you are doing, David, well, it sounds rather "Nigerian." (And no, I am NOT being Racist, you KNOW what I mean... come on now). However, if you are right and the Deceased person has the same surname as me than at least somebody with his name should get his money. But so far you have not mentioned that last name... are you sure it is the same as mine? I ask because I tend to go only go by a first name... like Madonna... or Prince... so what was the last name of the deceased?

Anyway, about the alternative plan of mine. Your brother has been an OKAY president but he struggles with knowing the most important thing... Jack is ALWAYS right. When Jack tells him something he has people check it out first and then realizes Jack was right. You knew to act when Jack said so. David, I ask you to put away this plan of working semi-legal schemes on the staff of Smith & Williamson. I mean STAFF?! Really? A former president? Isn't that kind of a blow? Anyway, give it up and return to the presidency of the United States with Jack Bauer as your UNQUESTIONED adviser. Once you are in this position, I will GLADLY claim the money left by my dead "relative" and give you, not half, but 2/3 of the booty provided you send me the request on presidential letter head AND lean on the governor of California (be it the Governator or not at that time) to allow Sugar Gliders as a pet in the state making certain aspects of my life a WHOLE lot smoother. (or, conversely, write me a little presidential pardon saying MY suggies can live in ANY state!). You'll be even richer. My gliders get persimmons for dinner more often. Jack keeps us safe from terrorists and mushroom clouds. Doesn't that sound better? Yeah, me too.

Sincerely,

Kipluck

On 1/27/07, davidpalmeruk707@yahoo.com <> wrote:

Goodday,

I am David Palmer, staff of SMITH & WILLIAMSON Private Banking.I am
contacting you concerning a deceased customer and an investment he placed
under our banks management three years ago.I would respectfully request
that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the
integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail.

I contacted you independently of our investigation and no one is informed
of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts
that I believe would be of interest to you.In 2000, the subject matter;
came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our private
banking division. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of
Thirty million united states dollars,which he wished to have us turn over
(invest) on his behalf.I was the officer assigned to his case, I made
numerous suggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief
operations officer of the private banking sector, especially given the
volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We met on numerous
occasions prior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to
consider various growth funds with prime ratings.The favored route in my
advise to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000 traditional
stocks and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments.
Based on my advice, We spun the money around various opportunities and
made attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued
profit and interest stood at this point at over ten million United States
Dollars, this margin was not the full potential of the fund but he desired
low risk guaranteed returns on investments.

In mid 2001, he asked that the money be liquidated because he needed to
make an urgent investment requiring cash payments in here in the united
kingdom. He directed that I liquidate the funds and deposit it with a
security firm. I informed him that SMITH & WILLIAMSON would have to make
special arrangements to have this done and in order not to circumvent due
process, the bank would have to make a 9.5 % deduction from the funds to
cater for banking and statutory charges. He complained about the charges
but later came around when I explained to him the complexities of the task
he was asking of us. Cash movement across boarders has become especially
strict since the incidents of 9/11. I contacted my affiliate and made the
funds available to the security firm. I undertook all the processes and
made sure I followed his precise instructions to the letter and had the
funds deposited with the security firm. The Security Firm is a specialist
private firm that accepts deposits from high net worth individuals and
blue chip corporations that handle valuable products or undertake
transactions that need immediate access to cash. This small and highly
private organization is familiar especially to the highly placed and
well-connected organizations. In line with instructions, the money was
deposited with the security firm.

The deceased told me he wanted the money there in anticipation of his
arrival from Norway later that week. This was the last communication we
had, this transpired around 25th February 2003.In June last year, we got a
call from the security firm informing us that the inactivity of that
particular portfolio. This was an astounding position as far as I was
concerned, given the fact that I managed the private banking sector I was
the only one who knew about the deposit at the security firm, and I could
not understand why the deceased had not come forward to claim his
deposit. I made futile efforts to locate the deceased. I immediately
passed the task of locating him to the internal investigations department
of SMITH & WILLIAMSON.Four days later, information started to trickle
in,apparently our client was dead. A person who suited his description was
declared dead of a heart attack in Canne, South of France. We were soon
enough able to identify the body and cause of death was confirmed. The
bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next of
kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward to claim his
estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who
patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but also some levels of
detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form, he listed no
next of kin. In the field of private banking, opening an account with us
means no one will know of its existence, accounts are rarely held under a
name;depositors use numbers and codes to make the accounts anonymous.This
bank also gives the choice to depositors of having their mail sent to them
or held at the bank itself, ensuring that there are no traces of the
account and as I said, rarely do they nominate next of kin. Private
banking clients apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most
cases leave wills in our care, in this case; the deceased died without a
testate. In line with our internal processes for account holders who have
passed away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to
determine who should have right to claim the estate. This investigation
has for the past months been unfruitful.

We have scanned every continent and used our private investigation
affiliate companies to get to the root of the problem. It is this
investigation that resulted in my being furnished with your details as a
possible relative of the deceased. My official capacity dictates that I am
the only party to supervise the investigation and the only party to
receive the results of the investigation. What this means, you being the
last batch of names we have considered, is that our dear late fellow died
with no known or identifiable family member. This leaves me as the only
person with the full picture of what the prevailing situation is in
relation to the deposit and the late beneficiary of the deposit.According
to practice, The Security Firm will by the end of this financial year
broadcast a request for statements of claim to SMITH & WILLIAMSON,failing
to receive viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit back
to SMITH & WILLIAMSON.This will result in the money entering the SMITH &
WILLIAMSON accounting system and the portfolio will be out of my hands
and out of the private banking division. This will not happen if I have my
way.What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but I
want you to understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking
world who finds the internal politics of the banking world aberrational.
The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewards for
those who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios. You
should have begun by now to put together the general direction of what I
propose.There is Thirty million dollars deposited in a security firm, I
alone have the deposit details and they will release the deposit to no one
unless I instruct them to do so. I alone know of the existence of this
deposit for as far as SMITH & WILLIAMSON is concerned,the transaction with
our late customer concluded when I sent the funds to the security firm,
all outstanding interactions in relation to the file are just customer
services and due process. The security Firm has no single idea of what's
the history or nature of the deposit. They are simply awaiting
instructions to release the deposit to any party that comes forward. This
is the situation. This bank has spent great amounts of money trying to
track this man's family; they have investigated for months and have found
no family.

The investigation has come to an end.

My proposal; you share the same surname With our late client; I am
prepared to place you in a position to instruct The security Firm to
release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt
of the deposit,I am prepared to share the money with you in half. That is:
I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the
deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50.I would have gone ahead to ask
the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a straight line to
me and my involvement in claiming the
deposit. But on the other hand, you with the same very name as the
original depositor would easily pass as the beneficiary with right to
claim. I assure you that I could have the deposit released to you within a
few days. I will simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file
relating to the deceased I will then officially communicate with The
Security Firm and instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these
two things: all is done.The alternative would be for us to have The
Security Firm direct the funds to another bank with you as account holder.
This way there will be no need for you to think of receiving the money
from The Security Company. We can fine-tune this based on our
interactions.I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that
if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail.
I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no
appeal to you,delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not
destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not
know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out of comparable
situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and
what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you
to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this
move. Such opportunities only come ones' way once in a lifetime. I cannot
let this chance pass me by, for once I find myself in total control of my
destiny. These chances wont pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my
chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with
my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an
opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for
this project and it is a task well worth undertaking.

I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you
refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows
of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has
planted you into the center of relevance in my life.Lets share the
blessing.If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through
this email account david_palmer707uk@yahoo.com.hk If you give me positive
signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I wish to
inform you that should you contact me via official channels; I will deny
knowing you and about this project. I repeat, I do not want you contacting
me through my official phone lines nor do I want you contacting me through
my official email account. Contact me only through the numbers I will
provide for you and also through this email address. I do not want any
direct link between you and me. My official lines are not secure lines as
they are periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in
line with our Total Quality Management Policy.

Please observe this instruction religiously. Please,again, note I am a
family man, I have a wife and children. I send you this mail not without a
measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that
nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come
easy or on a platter of gold.

This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do
not betray my confidence.

Kindly send your response to my private email address
david_palmer707uk@yahoo.com.hk

I await your response.
David Palmer.