Tuesday, January 9, 2007
crash and burn
I have been having a super sucky day. It's just stupid Depression stuff. I spent the day with my parents at my house, trying to get me Cable for Christmas. It was nice of them but I didn't even care. Then my mom didn't want to leave because she saw how I was. I wanted them to GO AWAY. But I was depressed anyway and Padre being there just multiplied it by 10 and it was just such a bad day, for no real reason, either.... just... being Me.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Because, apparently, I was way too happy. I feel like screaming and swearing and crying and sleeping... mostly sleeping and not waking up to thought.
I really really really like Fresno. Maybe even love him. I have told him about my Depression and ADHD and stuff. But even though he says he understands and stuff, I don't think he can. He thinks he knows me, but he doesn't, I don't even know me. Nobody deserves to have to deal with me on a full-time basis.
I just don't know how to tell him with out making him think there is another reason. How do you tell someone they are too good and nice to have to be with freak out crying girl? Without them arguing?