delightfully crushy after a family reunion... don't worry, those things aren't connected

I spent this weekend on a "family women's retreat" which was really basically a big sleepover for a lot of cousins, aunts, etc. at my  It was fun, really!  Granted, having a headache and feeling sick (my status quo) during it was NOT fun, but it was pretty nice to see (and in the case of some of the little ones meet for the first time) relatives.  I was really glad that Squall came! I like her a lot.  I am excited, too, for next weekend when her funny, animal-loving daughter, JanBrady, will be baptized. I LOVE that kid!  Squall and I played a mean game of air hockey there, I tell ya... but that is not how I hurt my wrist, it was hurt before. (Still, she clobbered me. And she still sucked, so I, like, UBER-Sucked). We all played Bunco because I swear that IS our family game, well, the women. The men, I guess would have to be golf.  But we also did white elephany gifts and I got 3 inch heels (HA HA!) and Rinny got this pillow one of the cousins made IN the 70s that will definitely come back again as a white elephant at the next party. It is freaking awesome, though. Like SO ugly it's cool and packed with PACKING PEANUTS. Got to meet the new and CUTEST little cousin's baby they just adopted, Lexi.  She was darling.

I also found out that not ONE but TWO of my FAVORITE cousins were in line trying out for The Biggest Loser this morning.  If EITHER Vance or Jake gets on, well, I will actually WATCH the show for one thing. But for another I will just have them in my prayers not to DIE.  I mean, geez, I feel like we almost lost Jakey when he was in the hospital with an infection, they better not let him get hurt!!! :(

In other news, I have gone full-on swoony for MyNigerian.  Yes, I like a guy from Nigeria. In Spain. We have been chatting awhile, and no, I am not an idiot and no, he is not one of those... at ALL. Actually, he is pretty much my hero in the way he holds the priesthood and feels about the church in general. And he is sweet. And funny. And cute. And kind.  And we were talking for awhile today so I am sort of on a high right now, but still, yeah. *LE SIGH* MyNigerian.

the Late Great Wait for 08

A year for changes... a year for quizzes.

1. Will you be looking for a new job?
probably. A SECOND job, anyway.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
Maybe? Who knows.

3. New house?
Not unless something catastrophic happens, no.

4. Do you plan on having a child?
No, I need to have sex first.

5. New Years Resolution?

I WASN'T going to do resolutions, but I SHOULD. So, once again I go to my favorite goal-making scripture Luke 2:52 (My favorite goal-ACCOMPLISHING scripture is Philippians 4:13). Talking about the way the Savior improved himself as a young man it says only "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and favour with God and man."

So those are my categories to improve in... Wisdom (Intellectual), Stature (Physical), Favor with God (Spiritual), and Favor with Man (Social). I will not put a lot, or it will just make it seem impossible. But a few in each and then I can add more through out the year.

Wisdom:
1. Always bee reading something. Have a book with me so if I get bored I don't waste time.
2. Sell more stuff on eBay for money.

Stature:
1. Join some sort of CLASS to lose weight. Either Weight Watchers or the class at my physical therapy pool.
2. Do ALL Therapy "homework" from Dr. Apparently
3. Find a good Internist and figure out what the hell is REALLY wrong with me.

Favor with God:
1. Never miss church for dumb reasons
2. Read SOME scripture every night.
3. Find SOME way to share the gospel weekly, even if it just means posting something good in the Forums or Guilds at Gaia.
4. Pray a lot more. I seriously need it.

Favor with Man:
1. Make a much better effort to stay connected to my friends. I have a tendency to withdraw and not talk to people I don't see everyday, not answer emails, etc. I want to change that.
2. Flirt better.
3. If anyone asks, I WILL go out at least once (unless, you know, I think it's a really bad idea... like if I feel like it may be scary (As in DANGEROUS NOT because I have ANXIETY)or I definitely know I don't like the person.)
4. Make my life and home a happier way/place to be by getting back into FlyLady and gaining control of my LIFE!

6. What will you not be doing in 08?
Ummm... getting married? Lots of stuff.

7. Any trips planned?
not so far, but I do not plan that far in advance.

8. Wedding plans?
I plan to go to the fewest of them I CAN, I guess?

9. Major thing on your calendar?
all the holidays?

10. What can't you wait for?
a few books being released... Inkdeath by Cornelia Funke and Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyers. Oh heck yes.

11. What would you like to see happen different
Less freaking medical mysteries, thank you very much!

12. What about yourself, will you be changing?
My health... especially my weight, My hair... probably dying it red again, and my outlook in life hopefully with the help of Dr. Apparently

13. What happened in ‘07 that you don't think will ever happen again?
Having a boyfriend, maybe. I don't know.

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
I hope so... stay in touch with them better and such.

15. Will you dress differently in 08 than you did in 07?
probably not. Jeans and T-Shirts are pretty standard.

16. Will you quit drinking?
I SHOULD drink MORE! Water that is. I don't drink alcohol anyway. hee hee!

17. Will you better your relationships with your family?
I hope so, I think therapy probably helps with that, eh?

18. Will you do charity work?
Yes, I would like to.

19. Will you be nice to people you dont know?
I'll try.

20. Do you expect 08 to be a good year for you?
I really really hope so!

21. How much did you change from this time last year til now?
a lot in not so awesome ways. I think I am a more depressed and bitter person. I hope to change that.

22. What will you do different in 08?
Question 5, people. QUESTION 5!

23. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
I sure hope so. I have lost some people in my life, but those I have now are FREAKING AWESOME FRIENDS!!!

24. Major lifestyle changes?
be more careful with my diabetes, swim even more often, walk when I can instead of driving.

25. Moving?
hope not, no.

26. What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 08 that happened in 07?
going to the hospital so dang much, getting my heart broken, etc.

27. What were your New Years Eve plans?
Played at the padres', ate some food, played Catch Phrase with Uncle Doug, ditzy Auntie O (example: Answer was Chicago Cubs. Her clue: "This is a sports team... and I think they are in Denver" NO, they are in, umm, CHICAGO. And it was girls verses boys... so yay she was on OUR TEAM. HA!), cousins Brett, Annie, Kyle, and Vicky, and Boo (the cousin's kid... not the Gerbil). Counted down, etc.

And there you have it. Bring on 2008. Here's hoping it is WAY better than this last bit of 07.

Skittles Porn... Stat!

So, in a desperate attempt for feedback(?) I decided to add a tracker thingy. I added ShinyStat and SiteMeter... but I think I like Shiny better. Mostly because apparently you can find out what people Googled and found you. Which is REALLY REALLY amusing.

Here are a few of my favorite... my VERY favorites are BOLDED.

can i wax the day for my plane ride
[I... don't know?]

celexa and fresca

chump band mormon

do skittles have pork in it
[this came up, in variously worded ways, at least 5 times]

fluoroscopy, porn photography
[why are those 2 things TOGETHER?!]

girl real estate in utah
["the thing is, we are really looking for a cootie-less property, so we have to be specific..."]

good card for grandma that's sick
[is grandma sick? Or are you trying to find her a vulgar card?]

jesus christ's life in biodata form
[I think *I* may Google this now. Because they sure didn't find the answer on my site.]

just another manic
[So, SO true...]

lesbian pics skittles
[well SURE...]

putting dry ice in a swamp cooler
[SOUNDS LIKE FUN!!! And sounds like something that would get us EVICTED, but still... FUN! Till we got evicted!]

ronald baker solicitors
[Because yes. I mess with minds.]

skittles scripture
[whoever searched for this contact me. I know a whole object lesson about tithing with Skittles!]

sugar glider myths
[like, the sugar glidalope or the vanishing hitchhiking glider?
"And that's supposed to be true!" (Mali, that was for you!)]

vytorin cause weight loss?
[No.]

[and possibly the most revealing of all...]
you talk too much

YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!

In 8 weeks I have never not had a headache.

U N T I L. N O W.

That's right, people. Today I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything ELSE hurts, but my head doesn't! And really, even if the pain just MOVES I am okay with that!

This morning I had a neurology appointment, usually fruitless, but this time, even though I HATE shots, my mom asked him if he might TRY a steroid injection right into the muscle to stop the spasming. And guess what... IT WORKED.

Is it a permanent solution? Of course not. Long term, I need well, a whole new healthy healthy self. And especially a stronger, more flexible neck. Which leads me to the NEXT appointment of the oh so doctory day...

I am now in a NEW Physical Therapy Program with a general Wellness program and joining a NEW Physician's Assisted Weight Loss Program! And today was the first of the new PT program. The had me lift a bucket with weights in it with my HEAD! And other such ouchy things, but they will help... I hope. But holy hannah I am hurting SO BAD NOW, my muscles are so damn sore!!!

But after water aerobics I was drained and SICK SICK SICK... one thing I did NOT think about with the shot? Puts my blood sugar levels through the roof and not even insulin brought it down.

So now I am temporarily ( ihopeihopeihope) on injections because the solution to one problem causes another. BLEH BLEH BLEH!!! But still... the HEADACHE is gone, so hey...

However, my day has not been ALL about meds and docs (HOORAY!!!)

I have VERY CUTE CRUSHES and VERY TALENTED FRIENDS!!!

Yeah, ever hear of CR England? Big Trucking Company? Yeah, well, look long and hard at that logo because guess who's making the new one?! That's right STEPH!
HOW PROUD AM I?! So proud. I have a famous friend. So watch for her art ALL OVER THE COUNTRY driving next to you!

And yes, I am SOOOOO twitterpated with Fresno. And he is coming! on! Friday! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! He is just so... NICE. So sweet. He worries about me when I am hurt or sad and worries about my future. He thinks I am funny. He thinks I am cute. He is fun and flirty and GOOD... very good. He is better at church stuff than me, making ME want to do better... BUT hasn't always been so doesn't make me feel like he doesn't understand. I don't know... I just can't explain it all. I just really really LIKE Richard. A LOT.

So.... what do you feel about, ummm... re-gifting... poems? Because I wrote a poem song thing, well, last year. About another boy. But it TOTALLY applies MORE to Fresno... so... ummm... yeah, can it be his? Or is that too weird?

Mostly

I like to sip my milk from a sturdy Mason jar

I like watch folks at the store and wonder who they are

I like to name the lobsters in the tank, though they're for food

I like to read graffiti, even if I think it's rude.

But Mostly, I like you.

I like to buy a drink from local lemonade stands

I like to write to pen pals living in distant lands

I like to watch the tadpoles till they turn into frogs

I like to ignore joggers, but say Hello to their dogs

But Mostly, I like you.

You're almost all those good things that a girl like me needs

A crazy girl who reads much, star gazes and plants flower seeds

A boy who's almost silly as the girl writing this song

The girl she may just find she likes that boy her whole life long.

The Boy I can Say I Love to Out LOUD

Happy OOOP Day, Heebs! ((Observed) Out of Pouch) OOP Day is sort of the marsupial equivalent of a birthday. Not that that they don't HAVE birthdays, they just are a little harder to track than when they come out of pouch and so we celebrate OOP days. Only the thing is I didn't KNOW my little Heber when he came OOP... he was a rescue much later in his life. He'd been sold in Texas swap meets, lived on birdseed in a hamster cage, and basically is a true testament to his will power and luck and the help of LOTS of wonderful glider friends! But today, 2 years ago, is when I adopted my little boy Heber Lyman Nester the Molester, and I would just like to give him his due. I love this little guy. I love all my "kids" so much I can't imagine my life without these critters. They are a big commitment, and often a pain... but they are worth it. They are worth it to me, anyway. Seriously, look at his FACE! But besides that, they have saved my life more than I should admit.





In other news...

*I have a new physical therapy treatment plan and am getting a new dietitian and have a new orthopedic specialist that is not the uber arrogant idiot Dr. BreakfastMeat. (GRRRRRRR!) YAY!!! Maybe this can not just fix my head but get me back on track? ihopeihopeihopeihope. SIGH.

*Fresno really is coming to Thanksgiving! And how adorable is THIS? He asked what we wanted him to BRING! "Other than the turkey..." I told him , no, he needed to cook a turkey and drive it from California. *rolls eyes* So cute. SIGH.
Yes. I am pathetic. But really, I just... well, I am still sort of in shock that he likes me. We'll see if it holds after he MEETS me.

*I would literally cut off my leg for some peanut brittle. Okay, that isn't so much NEWS. Or true. But I want some. Now, though neither in line with my diet nor what we were talking about... I just have a major craving for some. Now.

*It is Thursday. Therefore...
13 States I have either lived in or visited for more than a day or 2
1. Utah
2. Arizona
3. New Mexico
4. Nevada
5. California
6. Idaho
7. Montana
8. Wyoming
9. Illinois
10. Texas
11. Hawaii
12. Missouri
13. Louisiana

Any Similarities to Rainbow Brite is Purely Coincidental

Anybody want some Smarties? Because what is up with the Trick-or-Treaters?! Is it too cold? Are kid's bigger wusses this year? Or is it because we are the ONLY house with so much as a PUMPKIN out in our complex even though we are right by a park and a school?! SIGH. So sad. I have SO MUCH CANDY HERE! We had like 15 kids ALL NIGHT and I was so excited for ANY Halloweentivity. SIGH.

Today I went to the nuerologist and got 3 injections at the base of my skull that felt like FIRE. They did help ( though not get RID of) the headache... but only for awhile. So I was really feeling in the need for some Halloweeny fun even though I had to lay down most of tonight. So I hurried home after the doctor, dressed up, and awaited Trick-or-Treaters. SIGH. At least my house was cute... and *I* was a cute-ish witch. Okay, not THAT cute. I still am shaped like me. And Okay, so someone thought I was trying to be Rainbow Brite in a witch hat. That was not intentional. But it may have been subliminal, I mean, being a child of the 80's and all.

I just wasn't thinking when I decided to randomly put on make up! Only I didn't really HAVE anything but some black eyeliner that I never wear and some lipstick that I never wear. And apparently the only thing my needled brain thought to do with that was sort of an ugly shooting star. In black. And red. Like a Goth Rainbow Brite. SIGH. But in the picture I am trying to show the OTHER side!

Anyway, that was Halloween. OH and I forgot to show you, my PUMPKIN! So here THAT is, Anyway, it has been a pretty long day with the injections and very very LONGNESS of the appointment and the fact that now that the temporary nerve blocker has worn off I am just as bad or worse and I feel like crap and missed going to either of 2 awesome parties I was invited to because of feeling like crap. Fresno was maybe going to be online after playing in Disneyland tonight and we were going to try to chat, but it doesn't look like he was able to weasel away the computer from his roomies. Bummer. And so yeah. I am here. And eating soup. And sad. But I could be much be worse...

So that should be counted as a victory! And things will inch along getting better... tomorrow I will be back at physical therapy again... and taking regular pills... SIGH. Eventually maybe my dumb head will be normal.

SIGH.

I got a whole lot of Smarties left over if any one wants some. Can I go home? To, like, 15 years ago maybe?

OH, and for those of you know more of the medical stuff, I DO have better news. I also got other tests back. I have NO clots. The milky lesions on my brain are caused BY my headaches and diabetes NOT the other way around. Also, I DO have Sleep Apnea but it is Mild! That means for NOW I don't have to have a breathing machine! YAY! And it may improve as I lose weight! So that would be good.

grasping at straws?

I am hurting so badly today, but I have HOPE! Hope, people! HOPE!

I am still waiting on Echocardiograms, ultrasounds, etc. and I still have a load of blood tests tomorrow. However, one of the straws I was grasping at, my physical therapist, he was checking if it was related. I had NO faith in that because my neck isn't sore, even when he wiggled it around. Then suddenly he pushed something not just at the base of my skull, but up in it somehow? Anyway, he said "Hmmm... I think I found it. Does this hurt?" Pushes in this mysterious skull spot and I almost threw up it hurt so bad in exactly the same spot it hurts the worst everyday! He made me feel AWFUL and I wanted to cry with JOY! I mean, geeze! If he can MAKE it hurt, maybe maybe maybe he can make it NOT HURT because it was the RIGHT SPOT! Right? RIGHT?!

Hope!

I don't have ANSWERS, really, not all of them. But still this is the first time I have felt even remotely happy at the chance of someday recovery!!!!! Not *immediate* recovery... but something THERE... an answer of some sort.

Really, I am not a healthy person. I know this. But it is sort of like that story about the crowded house. I think it is a Jewish folktale. A family lives in a tiny cramped cottage and can't stand the closeness and goes to the wise old man of the village to say he needs a bigger place. The wise man says he can fix the problem. He tells the man to bring his ox into the house. The man protests, but obeys. Now it is even more crowded and it smells. He goes back to the old man and he says things are worse, but the old man says to bring in his goat. Same thing. Chickens, etc. (Yes, I am butchering this. Sarah Stanley of Avonlee I am not.) The family can not stand it anymore. They can barely move or breathe. Finally the wise old man tells them to put things in their place again, animals out in the farm and such and the family is very very happy and the house seems huge. They are happy with what they have.

That's me. I feel like this month long headache has just been those animals in my house. And I will be happy with my diabetes, depression, etc. if I can just STOP THE HEADACHE!!! Maybe this was meant to be a lesson in gratitude. I do not know. But seriously. I just want my headache gone. That's all I ask. Maybe the Physical Therapist can do it. Heaven knows none of the doctors so far have been able to figure out anything.

I am not really all holistic, or anti-doctor... well I AM anti-doctor but just because they scare me, you know? But I also am ready to try ANYTHING to get this pain under control!

But that is why I am pretty happy even though I am hurting pretty bad right now. YAY!

However, I am also a little happy and girly because more than one nice and funny boy has flirted with me today. *grins* I am feeling awfully cute today... though, to be objective about my cuteness neither of those boys can SEE me through the computer screen but STILL felt cuter today. HA! (it helped that I realized that NONE of my jeans fit today because they kept falling down, which is one of the few GOOD not fittings there is. Also because none of these resulted in an actual public mooning. hee hee!)

I am watching a Law and Order: SVU that I probably shouldn't because I relate a little TOO well to it and it is giving me a stomachache. About mental illness and stuff... and it... anyway, it is really familiar in an un-fun way. Sometimes it is not so great to hear names of pills you know... and take... reminds me things I deal with, and feel a little less hopeful. You know? SIGH. And HOPE as you know, is the order of the day. And so I think I need to watch something silly. And unrelated to my own life. And happier. I need to be HAPPY tonight. And I want some chocolate. But I will have to settle for... let's see... sugar-free juice bars.

I want some Candy Corn and I want it NOW.

It's been a bad headache day. Not much more to say. I am so tired of this.

I think I am watching the Hound of the Baskervilles, at least it seems it... I have only ever read it some time ago. The other choice is the Pokemon movie. hee hee hee! But yeah, Baskervilles on PBS. That's Halloweenish. I am feeling bummed about Halloween. I feel like dressing up, carving pumpkins, and going to haunted houses. But not feeling good has ruined Halloween this year. I don't feel up to those things... I just feel sad. Bummer. Bleh.

If I did have candy for Trick-or-Treaters (my Wise Diabetic Self opted for toys this year) I would probably eat it now. I do not feel very motivated, diet-wise today. Nothing else seems positive enough to make it worth it anyway... except maybe my crush, but again, if you are going to be an internet crush you need to OWN a computer so that you can communicate much more often than once or twice a blasted week.

Mun-dee

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Monday... sigh. Yeah. Monday. But I DID stuff! True, I still hurt a lot, nor did I drive... but I LEFT the house and that is a triumph of late. My mom drove my drugged up self to the pet store for a filter for the turtle and some fruit for the gliders and then to the pool again. It was really really a bad headache day. But it was good for my legs, and they needed help, too. After all, moving is good.

Actually, here is the GOOD part of my health... I am down to 216.2!!! For me that is a big loss. So I am proud of me. However, considering that a significant part of that is illness loss, that may not stick. But STILL... I gotta celebrate what I can... joys are few and far between right now, you know?

Wednesday afternoon is the appointment for all my Heart tests. I don't expect much from them. That night I sleep at the sleep clinic. Bleh. Wednesday is just going to be a syringe and electrode party extravaganza. BLARGH.

I found this quiz's questions HILARIOUS... considering my current issues... hee hee hee hee...

You Are 68% Hypochondriac

You are a pretty serious hypochondriac, and you probably don't know it. A lot of those aches and pains you are feeling are all in your head!

Are You a Hypochondriac?

Girthy Girl on the Move... on the MOVE

Combining my Blogs... PHASE 2...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girthy Girl on the Move (moving my Weight Loss/Health Blog here)

Starting Line

Every story has to have a Once Upon a Time... every race, a starting line. So this is mine.

Ready, set, GO!

Age: 27
Height: 5 feet 3 and a half inches (we'll call it 5'4")
Weight today: 225.6
BMI: 39.9
Medications:
Diabetes: Glucophage/Metformin, Glucotrol/Glipazide
Depression: Celexa/Citrolopram
Cholesterol: Vytorin (sucks because it means I can't drink Black Cherry Fresca anymore and I LOVE that stuff!!!)
Muscle Spasms: Quinine
Insomnia: Ambien, Tylenol PM
Exercise Program: Water Aerobics(3+ days/week at Wellness Center), Talk-Walking(4 days/week in neighborhood)
Weaknesses: Popcorn, Depression, Chocolate, Laziness, Healing from Surgery, Internet Addiction

The Big Picture:
To be healthy. Not counting on THIN, just healthier. Ideally, 150 lbs. even though BMI says 130. The ability to breath normal when I run upstairs for the phone. To feel better about myself and lessen dose of Celexa. To control my diabetes without, or with significantly less, medications. To wear a cute shirt from a web comic and not pay 2 bucks extra for a bigger size, just to have it too snug after all. To sleep from around midnight till 7, rather than from 5 am till 3 pm. To not cringe when I see a picture of myself.

Goals (SMART ones! Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely) Leading to the Big Picture :
Short Term:
1. Get a pill organizer and take meds on time.
2. Add fiber powder to most foods.
3. Work out Carb Allowance with Dietition.
4. Replace or mend swimsuit for water aerobics.
Many MANY more to come...
Longer Term:
1. Lose 75 lbs by next April
2. To have blood glucose levels in the normal range more days than it is not
More to come here as well.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

A Day in Park City

Family mini-vacations are good for SOMETHING. While I did eat out (Chicken Nugget kids meal at Wendy's), the shopping, sight seeing, etc. logged me 4,900 steps on my pedometer! YAY ME!

However, it wasn't all rosy. While my slender-ish sybs went to Old Navy and such I went to Dress Barn, because they DO have clothes in my size...

Or rather, USED to. I tried on a rather cute skirt that was size 24 (Yay!) and it didn't even CLOSE to fit (BLEH.). I have plenty of pants that are 24 and roomie. So I am sure the cut had something to do with it. But still a major bummer.

I hate my Guts

BLEH. NOT feeling good at all and it's probably my own fault. Yesterday (Friday) was prettty good. I was careful with carbs and took 3,950 steps. But today I went to 2 parties. A bridal shower and a movie party and ate treats at BOTH. I just got home and am not feeling good. I think I may be sick for another reason as well, but my blood sugar is probably not helping. 355. GRAND. Stupid choices made tonight. Stupid.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Quizzes of Little Consequence

Your Body Image is 56% Unhealthy, 44% Healthy

You may think you have a normal body image, but you definitely don't. While you may not have a serious problem, you obsess over your looks way too much.

How's Your Body Image?

The problem with this quiz is they don't know HOW overweight I am.

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Hmmm... well, it was discussed, yes.

You Will Die at Age 76

You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

You Have Low Self Esteem 68% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not. You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

How is Your Self Esteem?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front. Shy and private, you yearn for security. You take relationships slowly. You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Should Weigh 151

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight. If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!

How Much Do You Weigh?

HA!

I REALLY REALLY wish I was joking... but instead I am BAWLING

Today was a bad one, health-wise. I've seen 3 different doctors in the past 2 days.

Basically, it went like this...

Me: Well, I am still having stomach issues and pain
Like a Surgeon: Hmmm... that's weird.
Me: Weird?
Like a Surgeon: Yeah, weird. Take these meds. Have a Nice Day!

ER Molestor Lady: Relax
Me: This is me relaxed.
ER Molestor Lady: Relax, Damn it!
Me: I CAN'T.
[PAIN MASSIVE MASSIVE PAIN]
ER Molestor Lady: I bearly touched you.
Me: I'll have to take your word for it.
ER Molestor Lady: You have a yeast infection... and a UTI... and a tiny vagina. You are the biggest virgin I have ever seen. You need to put things in there with KY Jelly and stretch it.
Me: *#T$@#)%@$% LIKE WHAT? a Dildo?!
My MOTHER: Pop bottles? Different Vegitables. Zuchinni! Baby zuchinni.
Me: o_O (Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!)
My MOTHER: But do not let anything get stuck. Because that would be hard to explain to the ER.
ER Molestor Lady: Take these pills. Get stretched. You are a big whiney baby and I hardly touched you.

Me: I don't sleep anymore.
Annoyed General Practitioner: [scribble scribble]
Me: I need to have a job and go to school.
Annoyed General Practitioner: [scribble scribble]
Me: I don't drink caffiene.
Annoyed General Practitioner: [scribble scribble]
Me: I don't nap.
Annoyed General Practitioner: [scribble scribble]
Me: Please help me.
Annoyed General Practitioner: [scribble scribble]
Me: Also, I am still having stomach issues and pain. Is that weird?
Annoyed General Practitioner: [scribble scribble]
Me: I don't keep a TV in my room
Annoyed General Practitioner: [scribble scribble]
Me: PLEASE HELP ME! Please? I am really really tired.
Annoyed General Practitioner: Take these meds. Go to psycho therapy. Take more meds. It's not weird. Can take 6 months to a year.
Me: A year?
Annoyed General Practitioner: Have a Nice Day!

I did go to water aerobics... then almost blacked out in the locker room.

I did walk (1,077 steps)... but ended up crying from pain and making the dogs go home early (I am tending Trinket and Shasta this week).

I was depressed and therefore ate Panda Express with my family... checked my sugar a few minuets ago and I am at 400.

Okay because I am SEVERLY needing positives...

* Maybe these new meds will help!

* SUPPORT is a huge part of succsessfully losing weight (and I don't mean bras). 4 of us have decided to join together in a little Blog Party of sorts called Losing It! We are all contributing to it. Unfortunatley because THIS is beta and that one's not they are not CONNECTED... but they are. So yeah, Losing It (in a good way).

* Aaaaaaaaannndd.... Good night.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Egg Fu Jungian Theory

I made a really good, and rather low carb breakfast burrito thingy today! I am calling it sort of Egg Fu Yung in a tortilla. Did you know they have Cheese and Chives Egg Beaters? YEAH, and they are good! AAAAND...

Serving Size 1/4 cup (61g)

Amount Per Serving

Calories 35 Calories From Fat 10

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 1g 1%

Saturated Fat 0.5g 3%

Cholesterol less than 5mg 1%

Sodium 210mg 9%

Total Carbohydrate 1g 0%

Dietary Fiber 0g

Sugars 0g

Protein 6g 10%

And then I put, like bean sprouts and stuff in it and wrapped it in a yummy cook your own tortilla.

I also got 1,478 steps.

Emotionally, I am NOT doing so spectacular. But hey... egg beaters. Yeah.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Would you like some cheese with that... Mac?

I already posted this in Losing It, but tough! I am posting here as well.

I didn't eat well today. I blame the water aerobics! When I was little my sister and I would swim all day in St. George till we were too hungry to stand it and would drag our dripping selves home. We then would make Mac & Cheese and watch cartoons. (we didn't have cable at home, and so having Nickelodeon and stuff... it was, like a freakin EVENT to watch Muppet Babies... OH! And Mystery Science Theater on the Comedy Channel! Because, yeah, I was a cool nerd even back then. Hee hee!) And so, after my first day back of classes, I really needed to swim. I was hurting from the stairs, really tired and was anxious to get in the water.

So I went to my new pool (love it there) and swam and swam and swam, a bit too long and my sugar level dropped really low. And stupidly I had nothing with me and then I had an unconrollable craving for Macaroni. I went to the store for milk to make it, but ended up with a rather big package of microwave type from Stouffers or something because, well, I wanted it right then. LOTS of fat, LOTS of Carbs, and actually not very good tasting.

Dang it, if I am going to cheat it better at least TASTE worth it!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

2/3

Walked a lot (3,311 steps.)

Did Water Aerobics (for an hour.)

Came home sore, exhausted and starving and went and bought Cafe Rio.

2 out of 3's not TOO bad... right?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Trying to climb back on the wagon

I am getting a *little* healthier. I am not really losing WEIGHT, per say... but I think my pants are a bit looser than usual. Yay! I wish it was more VISIBLE... and quick... and measurable. But I need to take any successes I can get!

So, TODAY...

Food: Not so healthy. I was out and ordered a chicken nugget kids meal from Wendy's. Now, THAT is bad enough, but they messed up my order... I ordered Mandarin oranges instead of fries, but I got fries.... which naturally I felt it necessary to EAT. *SIGH.* MR. WILL POWER IS NOT MY FRIEND. (I also asked for a toddler toy because my babies love some of them... and they gave me some basket ball thing that is of no good to any child... that is under 5 inches tall, that is)

Activity: Better. I recently broke my toe, and it is amazing how much one little digit can hurt! So I am taking the exercise SLOOOOW. However, I DID walk (3,097 steps. Not my highest, but respectable) and I also did water aerobics for 45 minutes. So, bad food choices... but pretty good exercise.




P.S. As for other aspects of my health, well, the mental stuff... I am not really going to get into here. But while I am still not doing well, I am getting a referral (hopefully tomorrow) for a new psychiatrist. So may be can help things get better.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

All-You-Should-Not-Eat French Toast!

I had a class group this morning at Magelby's for Breakfast. HOLY YUMMY...

But I earned myself a blood glucose level of over 450, and feel like crap on toast.

Posted by Kipluck aka: BethAnn, Bob, Mayberry at 8:00 PM








And as for today, (Wednesday, 27 September 2006) still really sick and I am scared I will NEVER feel better. My headache did not stop all day and I was super dizzy. The closest I got to exercising was doing laundry.