does not compute!

I admit the majority of my relationshipial knowledge comes from sitcoms and chick flicks. Yes, I have parents, and every once in awhile I reference their relationship (usually TO them) in relation to mine to which my mom usually says "yes, but, you're dad and I are not normal." Hello, I think I know THAT! The funny thing is, my mom and I are a LOT alike in many ways, relationship-wise. Not in the kind of guy we like (sorry, Freud.), but well, when my dad proposed to my mom she got mad, started crying and said "That's not very funny, David!" And I think that says a lot about HER ability to not panic and deal with boys. Hee hee! They dated off and on with various freak outs for about 3-4 years.

So I come by my boy phobia naturally. (Except that Mom was a Lip Slut. And I sure missed THAT gene. Or rather the boys missed OUT!)

But my point is that every sitcom tells me that the boy is supposed to dread meeting the family. The girl is supposed to be all "Come on honey, they'll love you!" and the boy is all "but your dad has all those guns" and the girls is all "Daddy? Awww, he's just a big softy when you get to know him" and predictable zany hi-jinx ensues.

So WHY, when I like a boy, does he basically say "Kipluck, I'd really like to spend Thanksgiving with you and your family and play that week. What can we do about that?"

I WANT to... though I am super nervous... however NOT sure how my DAD is going to react to an extra addition to our vacation plans. So I just haven't told Dad.

Father Knows *CRAP*

I don't talk too much about my fam I suppose even though they are a huge part of my life, mostly because I don't live at home. Well, except maybe Mom because we go to Water Aerobics together and she is a little over-stressed with this sickness thing. But Dad... well, yeah. He's my DAD and we don't get along. Anyway...

I am sure there are at least 15 books about how my Dad loves me. (I just sort of... ummm... hate him... for it.) Stuff about Languages of Love and Mars and Venus. Stuff about how my dad just wants to FIX things, even things that HE can't fix! He's a Property Manager. So we've got "a guy" for plumbing, "a car guy," "yard guys," "a guy" for taxes... and apparently my dad suddenly felt the need for an MRI "guy."

So my appointment's for late this afternoon and I am in bed asleep at last when my dad comes in my house yelling "Get up right now! You're late!"
"Mmmfhahfhmm...ferWhah?"
"A guy in our ward is a radiologist. He's going to work you in. But you have to be there now.""
"Dad, I can't!"
"You have to. Get going now!"
So I'm already panicked because I HATE MRIS and my dad is pushing me out the door while I barely combed through my hair that I planned to have washed before going and downing one of the 8 pills I was due to take in the morning and checking into a hospital for "a guy dad knows" and then spent so long in the waiting room to be "squeezed in" that I was there UNTIL my actual APPOINTMENT at the other hospital but which my dad insisted they cancel. "Radiology. I know a guy."

The actual MRI was both scarier and not as scary as I thought. It was like a Space Coffin! That part I got over pretty quick. But the contrast and injection and the following panic attack and the fight I got in with my dad when I did not OBEY him when he insisted I stop panicking immediately. (Yeah. THAT works. Yell at me in a space coffin. Thanks.)

It one of those things I would probably laugh at if it wasn't still making me cry and scaring me and hurting me.

And seriously. Radiology.

Dads of the world, you do not need a "Radiology Guy."


You just DON'T.