Dolly Envy

Messing around on Pinterest today. I keep looking at Blythe dolls. BECAUSE I WANT THEM.  What is it about useless (but fun) expensive things that makes me want them so much just so my relative poverty can smack me in the face?

Useless, but like a combination of toy and ART! *SIGH*

On the other hand, my grand idea of stempunking Cabbage Patch Kids (under the name Steamed Cabbages, mind you. The name is one of the best parts!) has not exactly taken off due to my complete and utter lack of skill at sewing the awesome doll clothes in my brain. BUYING the CPKs, that I can do. I have, now, a closetfull of naked Cabbage Patches awaiting new identities and no real talent to do what I want with them. And that pisses me off. WHY CAN'T MY HANDS DO WHAT MY MIND DOES?!

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You are What You Eat? (Fast, Cheap, and Easy?)

(WARNiNG: this is going to be a rather random entry because I just have a lot of thoughts today.)

I *heart* General Conference.
.......v......

First of all, there is a semi-rebellious joy in doing "church" in your PJs. I know, I know. Most of the world has to go to their church building to see it and so still dresses up. And some people are just extra righteous and dress up to sit on their couch and watch. Kudos and brownie points to you. But I am lazy and don't and maintain that I learn just as much from the Lord's mouthpiece while wearing my pajamas. ("Don't worry, senior! I will take care of your Payamas!")

(btw, You can TELL I feel that way because of this AWESOME graphic portraying PJs as ANGELIC! Ha!)

2nd of all, this was a an extra good conference, I think. I am anxious for the transcripts to be up so I can read over stuff I've forgotten the details of. It's just nice to feel buoyed up, you know? There was so much about, like, the BASICS. Which we need... anyway, I know *I* need. Stuff about the Bible, being Christian, etc. About the grace of Christ, his sacrifice for us, and following his example.

Also, I just LOVE our Prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley. You feel how close he is to the Lord when he talks... but he is also just funny and kind. It is interesting to compare... and please don't take this wrong... but I am right now watching the Solemn Mass of Palm Sunday in Rome right now with the Pope. It is interesting, and respectful, and you can see the devotion.

However, it is just DIFFERENT. Solemn... and in Latin, of course. Rather than the often jovial and usually plain spoken gospel shared during conference. Again, I am not knocking it by any means. It is a beautiful show of appreciation for the sacrifice of our Savior. It is just... different.

Anyway, on a completely different topic, I play with dolls. Despite being a tomboy as a kiddlet, I DID play with dolls. Even Barbies. Granted, my Barbies spent the majority of the time spending the night at haunted houses (usually haunted by a lot of headless Barbie and Ken corpses), rappelling down the stairs (tied at the end of a jump rope), or running an orphanage for weird, big headed children (Strawberry Shortcakes) when a lot of other kids' Barbies were dating Kens and changing clothes a lot.

However, it seems that while some little girls grow out of dolls, I am going the OTHER direction. Because right now it seems I can't get enough of them online. I make "candybar" dolls at eLouai.



I make superhero dolls.


Turn into an M&M.



I even spend ridiculous amounts of time at GaiaOnline, not just playing with the doll, but earning imaginary money to buy imaginary clothes (and pets) for my imaginary self.And now a 3D, animated Meez... which for some reason won't work right now so I will therefore just show a screenshot of it.


And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what I did in my spare time this weekend. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

In other news, my boyfriend is a big BABY. He got bit by a spider. Now he is CONVINCED it is a brown recluse. (DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK if you are SQUEAMISH!!!) To be fair, it sounds like a NASTY bite and so I am glad he is going to get it checked out tomorrow. But I told him to take a Tylenol and a Benadryl in the meantime. He still whined about it a lot. But I *have* to admit that "taking care of him" even from a distance DOES make me feel good and girlfriendy! I am such a dork. But he's so stinking cute!!!

I. Totally -Didn't know what I. King-Jordan looked like till now

I had a bad (and weird) Depression day. I don't know why. Wasn't logical, had to mostly be stupid and chemical and indicative of a need to change meds which I have known for awhile but still trying to schedule doctors and stuff. But whatever the reason, today I have been bawling at the drop of a hat.

I went to the pool with my mom this afternoon and somehow ended up crying my head off. In front of people. And get this, it was mostly over a conversation that I need to get some good FARM shoes that are easier to clean than my sneakers, but the same comfort level. I don't know WHY that made me cry, really... and my mom sure didn't either. She was looking at me like I was crazy.

For good reason. It WAS crazy! So freaking embarrassing. Crying my head off about... shoes?! DUMB DUMB DUMB. Bleh.

And even while I was crying I was thinking "This is stupid. WHY AM I CRYING?!"

I mean, when we talked about missing BoyKid, THAT made both of us almost cry... but not even past almost. No, it was talking about shoe shopping that pushed me over the edge. Good hell sometimes I hate myself.

Okay, happy thoughts to keep me semi-sane:

*I did my water aerobics. That was good of me.
*I cleaned the glider cage, so my babies are happy and unstinky for right now.
*The Roomie and I worked on training the new bird, Buddy and her other parrot, McKenzie and made SOME progress with both of them. I like working with the animals, and The Roomie is a VERY good trainer and seems to be able to get them to do just about ANYTHING for her. Like Dr. Doolittle. (The REAL book, not the movies, mind you...)
*I LOVE FiberOne oats & chocolate bars. They are my new mostly healthy candy bar fix!
*THIS made me giggle... a lot. I *HEART* the quote AND the Lego-ified vignette! Sherpa, that totally cracked me up

Also today I watched a really interesting documentary about Deaf history called Through Deaf Eyes. It was FASCINATING, funny, sad, just an all around good documentary. It should air again tomorrow night, I think. I think I'll record it and keep it with my growing number of videos in American Sign Lagugae that I keep hoping will help me learn. I have been thinking more about what the heck I am going to DO with my life. And I think, though not YET, I am going to go back to school to finish what I planned on before getting sick... get my ASL interpreter's license and my Bachelor's degree. (Deaf studies and ASL... with a possibility of someday getting my Master's in Library Science.) But for now I will just work as much as I can at TGP and start practicing more on my Signs and then after awhile hire Thai as a tutor. Sometime later I will go back to UVSC.

Oh, but I suppose it might be UVU by then... I am not sure when that happens for sure. I still think the name is annoying. I voted for just shortening it to Utah Valley State. Chisel off the C on the signs or something... much smoother than Utah Valley University. But whatever.

Anyway, I need to go to bed. I have to be to TGP by NINE. That means waking up VERY early for me... actually by this time I may have better luck STAYING awake all night. SIGH.

Lord Love a Duck!

Today's been long and very frustrating. When I woke up, My To Do list was:

• Bank - Deposit Checks into checking
• Pharmacy - Fill new prescriptions
• Groceries
• Milk
• Eggs
• Peeps
• Abreva (Cold Sore stuff)
• Band-Aids
  
• Big envelope for resume and application for TGP job
• Get together last parts of Stephie-and-TwinMan's wedding gift
• Bag
• Tissue Paper
• Bride And Groom Rubber Duckies

• Go to Stephie-and-TwinMan's reception

So, I wake up and find out, SURPRISE, my cell went on the fritz. Not the service even, but, it appears anyway, the phone (Probably because I drop it so often.) Anyway, it isn't ringing, even when I *see* it ringing. And it is not on silent. And sometimes it doesn't even do that. So I try to call Cricket and get no answer! They keep telling me their HOURS, umm... people it is WITHIN those hours?

Fine, whatever, I need to speak to a human.

So...

To Do...

• Cricket Store
• Explain phone issue and Warranty
• Interested in buying Motorola SLVR for internet price, plus mail in rebate. How does that work into warranty deal?
• What would I do with old, faulty phone?
• If I buy online how do I NOT buy a plan? (I already have

• Bank - Deposit Checks into checking
• Pharmacy - Fill new prescriptions
• Groceries
• Milk
• Eggs
• Peeps
• Abreva (Cold Sore stuff)
• Band-Aids
  
• Big envelope for resume and application for TGP job
• Get together last parts of Stephie-and-TwinMan's wedding gift
• Bag
• Tissue Paper
• Bride And Groom Rubber Duckies

• Go to Stephie-and-TwinMan's reception

SIGH. Anyway, so I decided probably my first stop better be the bank because, well, I should have money in the bank before spending it, then to the pharmacy so I can TAKE the new pills I am prescribed... and the ones I was prescribed before that I am out of... on my way to the fun party store to pick up the cute bride and groom rubber duckies can sit atop the Downy Simple Pleasures and Purple Duck Tape (they registered for both those things. I'm not kidding!) and I can put the cheesy note: To The Ducky Couple... when life gets you down... just stick together! Then hopefully get a new phone for some off for having this broken one still in warranty then grab some groceries, get Peeps to add to the wedding gift, spend a little time online catching up on email, get cute, and then me and Rinny will go see Stephie and her Twin-slash-Husband, talk, etc. Game plan; established!

Why did I think that would all work like that?

The bank was fine, at least. The Pharmacy? Well, I got the new meds, but the old one, one that I want to get off, but have to go off slowly of I may have bad side-effects? Well, my new insurance doesn't cover it. Okay, that's fine. I am only going to need it one month, to wean off.... I will pay cash.

The cash price of that ONE PRESCRIPTION: $450.00.

So I decided that against Dr.'s instruction I would be going cold turkey because I DON'T have that much money. GEEZ!

I paid for my others, and took my new meds at the drinking fountain. However, it was taking a LOT longer than I thought and I was worried about meeting Rinny to go to the wedding and I kept calling her with no response and I wasn't sure if that was because she was busy (or at the Temple, since I thought she was going on a Friday) or because my dumb cell phone is being so psycho right now. Also, I was worried about GETTING my dumb phone working. So instead of going to Zurchers to get the wedding ducks, I went to the Cricket store. (Actually, I forgot where I had just SEEN the store and called Mali and asked because we had talked about it for some reason. )

The guy said they were OUT of the phone I was looking at and also that that mail-in rebate thing had expired, so I wouldn't get that deal, it would be $200. I said, no, I had SEEN an expiration and it had been February 28th. He showed me the computer, said that if I looked on my computer now that it would be gone. (BULL.) He said to come back after the weekend to get the phone I wanted. I didn't trust him anyway because I knew what I had read, and planned to print it out beforehand and was NOT going to be fast-talked by a commissioned salesman. So I left, annoyed, and with a still sketchy phone, and headed for Zurchers.

I just figured, like any novelty/party supply store, that it sold Oriental Trading Company stuff, so it would have the ducks I saw in the catalog but didn't order because I only wanted one set and didn't want to wait 6-8 weeks for. But after looking through the whole store (a FUN store, by the way!), NO WEDDING DUCKS. So I asked them where they might get them. The girl said "I'd try Xpedx Paper Store." which seemed random, but, okay. I did buy their gift back and tissue paper and stuff, though.

To Do...

• Make face at Cricket Store as I drive by again
• Write back Gilch
• Groceries
• Milk
• Eggs
• Peeps
• Abreva (Cold Sore stuff)
• Big envelope for resume and application for TGP job
• Get together last parts of Stephie-and-TwinMan's wedding gift
• Bride And Groom Rubber Duckies

• Go to Stephie-and-TwinMan's reception

Yeah. No ducks at the paper store. My phone is now not even calling out. I have no rubber duckies. AND I am feeling totally ill. Like dizzy, sick, and my mouth tastes like salt. I am not quite sure if this is because I just started new meds I'm not used to or have withdrawals from going off Topamax suddenly because it's 400 bucks. And the salty thing may not be even related. It's just weird.

I take a break from the ducks and go to a grocery store... Macey's. Got the Milk, Eggs... they don't have Peeps! They have all the OTHER Easter candy, but no Peeps? Weird. So I hit another grocery store on the way to Michael's, another craft store with wedding stuff; Smith's. NO PEEPS.

And No Duckies!

FINALLY at Party Land! (why didn't I go THERE first?!) I find some success! I found cheerleader duckies! Pirate Duckies (like I have on my Jeep antenae)! Luau Duckies (I have those too.)! Doctor and Nurse Duckies! Army Duckies! But NO WEDDING DUCKS. I was about ready to CRY. I took up a box of Bicyclist Duckies to the register and said "these ducks come in, well, everything, and I KNOW they come in Bride and Groom! Do you have them anywhere? In the back? I know it sounds stupid, but I am desperate!" The girl went to look, and a woman standing in line looked at me weird.

"Do you collect Rubber Duckies?"

"Well, YES, but these are for a friend."

"But you do collect them?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have different kinds?"

"Well, like I have them in my car, and pirate ones and luau ones and stuffed ones, and my bathroom is rubber ducks and stuff, and some other ones people have given me?" I was feeling really on the spot as I don't typically discuss rubber ducky collecting with strangers.

THEN I went with the girl to where the ducks MIGHT be and she said "I guess we are out" just as I SAW a box and cheered! I actually took the whole dozen just because. When I got to the desk Question Lady was still standing there.

"My name is Genelle. I am an Editor with the Deseret News. We have been looking for a rubber duck collector. Here is my card. I'd like to do a story on you. Call me."

And then she left. I was really happy to find the ducks, but, umm 1. I don't think I have enough duckies to be, like, FAMOUS for it. and 2. I don't really want to have my picture taken and have a bunch of people see it. So I think IF *I* call her at all I will say I am really sorry but that I don't have that many duckies, and I don't want you to see them in my messy house or to see me all fat and dorky like I am, find another duck lover, Lady!

They didn't have Peeps at Albertson's either! WHERE have they GONE?! Have they MIGRATED? And if so, how?! They have no wings... they look like they'd move like slugs. So Stephie get no Peeps in her gift. I know they are (Sort of) chickens not ducks anyway. But STILL. I was disappointed. And Phoneless. And sick. And salty? And running late!

I got home and was feeling really dizzy. I wanted Rinny to answer the phone and get over here and I would make HER drive to the reception. But still, no answer. And if I didn't think my gift was so corny and cute I was almost not wanting to go. Because, well, I am still not too keen on weddings anyway. And you shouldn't drive dizzy. But the thing was to go from 6-8 pm and it was 7:45 and so I left, without Rinny. And I got there AT 8. Luckily they weren't, like REALLY done. She was tossing her bouquet. It was kind of weird to see Stephie. She was excited to see me and hugged me hard (her mom remembered me, too). And she introduced me to TwinMan as "my very best friend in high school!" and it sort of surprised me, though it was true, I guess. She and Speedy Gus anyway. Well, and Mali, though she wasn't in high school when I was. So as far as school friends, yeah, Stephie was, at least, my best friend that was a girl. I just didn't realize it. Especially since we haven't been in contact for so very long.

Anyway, we decided we SHOULD play, even though she will be all married and such. So at some point, yeah. Oh, and they didn't look AS twinny once they were wearing different clothes like a tux verses a wedding dress. Hee hee hee! I took an almost certain to be terribly angled shot of myself with one of those disposable cameras on a table and looked at the cake and felt so woozy I thought I might fall over so I went to my car really quickly. I sat there in my car feeling so sick and prayed to get home safe. Rinny DID call THEN and said "Ummm, yeah, so I forgot we were going to that wedding thing!" I told her it was fine and didn't matter.

I got home (obviously.).

It has been a VERY long day.

SIGH.

no second base, due to a few critical design flaws

It has been SO LONG since I have had a good day, a painless, silly, happy day, I think I have forgotten what they are like! It felt like being 12 years old on a Saturday. Weeee!!!

Jessi, a friend of mine and Mali's, just came home from her LDS mission (Yay!) and so Mali called me up to play! Well, Jessi ended up needing to bail, but Mali and I still got to chill like the old days... shopping, talking... okay, granted, we both bought memory foam mattress toppers, which is not exactly the type of things we used buy. Mostly back in the day it was Playmobil. Hee hee hee! (Though we DID get some fun stuff too... a stuffed dragon, the OLD Charlotte's Web (that is in honor of Fresno coming, though... he LOVES that movie!), some little horses to paint (those are for Megs. She is not doing so swell. I am worried. I miss her... a LOT.), some fun shirts, etc.) We also bought some AWESOME valentines that we can't actually GIVE to anyone because they involve teddy bear sex but that we had to buy ourselves because they made us laugh for, like, forever and a day.

There was one really REALLY terrible time at Target when I was looking for a new battery for my blood glucose meter. Guess who was at the same counter, asking about a CD? SoftTissueInjury Lady. I didn't know what to do. It was like I was half way going to scratch her eyes out, half way going to start crying like a baby... I just basically started having a panic attack just looking at her... she didn't see me. Mali and I just went over and stared intently at some phones till she left. I didn't know what I could or should do, I just knew I could barely breath I was so upset right then. I felt sick. I just... UGH. Anyway, I didn't say anything to her.

I blew off water aerobics... and my weight wellness class... but I walked around Target a lot? Hee hee hee! We watched a chick flick (Must Love Dogs... one of my DVDs), ate Chinese food, talked about boys, (Yes, all very cliche and I do not care it ROCKED.) went to Hot Topic... it was just FUN. And headacheless!

Now, I am not looking forward to TOMORROW all that much... my sister has decided that for her birthday she wants us to get, like, wedding hair. Like up-dos. And dress in formals. And have a "Cotillion type lunch at a Country Club." FINE for her FRIENDS who all HAVE, like 5 formals from high school to pick from so they can play princess. But I sure don't have one nor do I plan to buy one so Rinny can play dress up. So I say just let her and her friends do it. Apparently she BAWLS and throws a fit about how I don't want to do anything for her and how Mom doesn't have a real formal but SHE is pulling something together and still getting her hair done with them and blah blah blah blah blah blah. Sometimes my sister is cool and I really like her. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES. She is dealing (or rather REFUSING to deal with appropriatley) with depression and everything not going her way perfect is a sign that we are all against her and hate her. Happy Birthday, Princess Rincess. Baby sister, turning 26 and STILL and always gets her way. I am a sucky sister, but I feel like kicking her in the head.

But instead, I will be getting my stupid hair done with a bunch of other girls that I feel fat around, and eating at a stuck up country club while wearing a velvet blouse and long shiny skirt and a crystal necklace. But dang it all, I am going to order whatever they have Beer-battered.

As for FRIDAY... I AM NERVOUS! I get all re-nervous when I think about Fresno coming. But I have decided I AM taking him to Jessi's homecoming, even though that is scary to me because that ward is like family to me. YIKES!!! But... yeah... SIGH. Fresno. Friday. More later. GOODNIGHT.

P.S. Mali...

What could <----their Moms even SAY? Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! SO wrong.

Attack (and Subsequent Marriage?!) of the Clones

Status: Still Stressing and Depressing...
BUT less so then yesterday.

So, by way of update on the boy, I just got off the phone with Fresno. I told him I was having a Depression time (true) but was excited to see him (true?) and then we spent the majority of the 2 hours talking and giggling stupidly about Onesie underwear, Wonder Twins, and snails. We talked about serious stuff, too, like the frustration of his job and the fact that he actually put in his offer on the California house for his cousin and friend. He is waiting for it to be accepted, but basically is just planning on buying it regardless, for them to live in and he will move here. Because he just takes care of people he cares about. I just hope he isn't doing too much, taking on more than he should.

Which, by the way, brings me to something else I wanted to say. It doesn't make more sense, but I wanted to clarify, I am NOT afraid that Fresno will run when he realizes what a mess I am, emotionally. I am afraid he WON'T find out what a mess I am until we are married and will in a sense of exceptional, Fresnoesque, loving loyalty just stick with me but not ever be really happy. And I want him to be really happy.

(He WILL however, never find anyone as *entertaining* as me. Mostly because he has a really really SILLY sense of humor. But I just don't know that goofy entertainment is a good trade for emotional stability.)

Okay, anyway, so today I got a wedding announcement for someone I was best friends with back in high school, Stephie Burr. It's been a long time, but Mali saw her (on BYU campus, I think?) anyway she got us connected again. So Stephie sent me an invite with the picture of her and her hubby-to-be. Can I just say CReEeePY?! They are, like, TWINS! They have the SAME FACE! He is a Bald version of her! And the way they posed, and the shirts, well, they even looked the same that way. I am very tempted to scan it in and PhotoShop her hair onto him just because. Now, even though Roomie Lark totally agreed they look like clones, she DID talk me out of giving said artwork to them as their wedding gift (Even though I would find a cute frame to put it in.)

Sadly, that means I need to find a cool present. Because, well, she was a good friend, even after high school. It was only post mission that I lost track of her. So yeah, I will find her something cool.... but SECRETLY I *will* think it is creepy that she is marrying herself as a bald man for as long as I want. Hee hee hee hee!

I am a wicked person. *blush*So, this has been entertaining me ---->

Yes. That is the real guy. And the other real guy. And the other real guy. And the guy in the car is THE Karate Kid. And the real other guy is really that guy. Awesome, huh?

I *heart* YouTube.

I should go to bed. It is not, as you may have noticed, "before 1" per my goal. It is, well, 2:30. I feel like crap. Unfortunately, not like sleepy crap. Just regular crap. Speaking of, who would let their kids play with THIS?