butterflies and books

Thank you, Pinterest.

But it doesn't make the decision to switch from vet tech to ASL easy.  However, my family is very happy with the idea.  My recent plan, well, we can't afford it.  Hence trying to find SOME help for paying with it.  But becoming even more buried in debt is NOT a way to start to become more responsible. 

So I just finished an amazing book. Hattie Big Sky.  I felt so sad when it ended, just because it was ENDING!  I wanted it to continue. I wanted more chapters. I wanted a sequel.  I got neither.  But I will read it again.  I recommend it, strongly. It is a beautiful book.  

I love to read.  I am almost always reading 3 or 4 books at once, as any who are friends with me on Goodreads can attest.  I am reading something in the bathroom, listening to an audiobook in bed, reading something in my purse, and reading the scriptures (either the Bible or the Book of Mormon) when I am being good. I admit that reading scriptures is something I SHOULD do, whereas a good novel, is like something I NEED for myself.

"Books have to be heavy because the whole world's inside them" - Cornelia Funke

SIGH.  I. Love. Books.

But I do like movies, too.  And right now I am watching Rio with Mom.  It's cute.  And it is about exotic pets, so I will probably review it for my column.  And maybe not surprisingly it makes me miss my roomie, Lark, and her parrots Buddy and McKenzie and the parakeets, Thomas and Critter,too. (She also has canaries, Igor and Celestra, but I wasn't that attatched to them. I am not a bird person, per say.).


But maybe a LITTLE surprisingly, it is also making me think about the BrazilianVampire. Rio recreates some pretty realistic, and beautiful, Brazilian landscapes. And Carnival may beEd still writes me all the time.  I write to him only occasionally.  Because I don't need to complication. Ed likes me. And, unlike other distant boys, he actually plans to move HERE.  However, he's also really wrong for me.  He also will never hold as big a piece of my brutally chopped up heart as MyNigerian, despite the fact that I believe Ola really does need to go back to Nigeria and create amazing social change and be a pioneer for the church... even though it means the end of US.  I admit occasionally, even though I really love Ola, and think there is a chance that I may not ever meet someone else... I sometimes let Ed flirt with me for my d**n self-esteem. Dangerous? Not too. Dumb? Yes. Painful? A little.  


I need to get a life. I need to get a boyfriend. One that lives in the freaking country.


No, I am not really that girl.  I have a LOT of things in my life right now (school, animals, family, work) I don't even know that I have TIME for a boy. But it would be nice.

Speaking of animals (I did! Remember, my last parenthetical comment?!), my USDA papers got REJECTED for Critters 2 Go.  I don't know why.  They lady said she would go over them and help me RE-apply (Oh the red tape!!!) once I get back the papers.  I get them back, with a letter, and call her for further explanation. SIGH.  And I WILL apply again.  I want to do Critters. I want to be SUCCESSFUL at it.  I have PLANS for it. New plans for the website, like a kids' section with games and activities and a Cockroach Club with info about Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches for those that buy them from me.  I have other animals, too, like if my mantis egg sack would ever hatch.  I plan to release most of them but keep a pair or so. I love mantids.  Of course, my dream is an Orchid Mantis, but the Chinese Mantises we have around here (that I can therefore hatch and release will be fun, too.

Bewbs

So the family gossip...
1. My brother, BoyKid is pretty much done with Kimpossible.  She has a missionary and isn't worth the fight, apparently.

2. There is a creeper at My sister, Rinny's apartment complex. Rinny's roommate's bras were all stolen from the washing machine as well as some other girls' bras and swimsuits.  That is kind of amusing, but not as funny as her roomie's response. "At least they aren't my good bras.  They are just the OLD ONES I SLEEP IN."
Whiskey Tango... SLEEP IN?!  I realize that, though I am a girthy girl, I have almost no boobs.  So I actually debate whether an activity of the day warrants a bra at ALL.  But who sleeps in their bra?  Weirdo.

Today I went through a lot o my paperbacks and parted with a LOT of books.  I am going to have a massive garage sale soon.  Because I am basically letting go the MAJORITY of my possessions.  I feel like a monk.









A monk who talks about boobs.

Blogging in the Middle of the Night

I can't sleep.
My head aches.
Ola's not on.
I have a yucky taste in my mouth even after brushing my teeth AGAIN.
Might as well write.

I am in the upstairs familyroom of my padre's house (now a 4squarable location), listening to both my keyboard and hermit crabs click away in the near silence of the night and inventing words like "4squarable."

In some ways living in 2 places (The Ark and The Padres) is nice, like when it comes to food (I usually don't cook for myself.  Too much hassle. Easier to just drink an Ensure or Adkins Advantage drink.), TV (The Padres have more cable), and help waking up in the morning.  But most of the time I just wish I could feel better in general enough that my parents would let me go back to the Ark and pretend to be independent.  I still pay my half of the bills with Roomie.  Bur the fact is where I am currently in both the economical and medical sense has being dependant on them and therefore I can't, fo instance, just DECIDE to move or take a trip or anything.

Though, it goes both ways. Part of the reason I am home is to help Mom.  We go to the pool together and such, and I help her drive (which is scary, even this long after her stroke), and do things she struggles with.  So it is not as if I am just leeching away, they really PREFER me to live here, at home. It is me who wants some space and to go back to the ark, all my animals in tow, and be back with the Roomie, her dogs, and her birds.

OH one terrible bit of news though. Kazuki, her ADORABLE Rosella Parrot baby just DIED with no visable cause!  She is heart broken.  I am sad too! He was a DOLL and he liked me enough I was going to try and borrow him for Critters 2 Go even!  It just happened. SO sad.  I know if any of my babies died I would just fall apart!  I cried when one of my 2 TOADS died and I have only had Clyde and Clive for a week or so.  And I wasn't handfeeding them everyday like she was with Zuki. :(

Okay, I think I am finally tiring out (I hope.). Maybe if I open my window and let some air in my stuffy little bedroom I can fall asleep so I can wake up for church tomorrow. That would be good.
Peace.

On the bright side...

I'm now the Girlfriend of a Sex God. No. Wait, that's Georgia Nicholson.

I am not the girlfriend of anything. BUT I AM at my OWN house this week!  YAY! Yep, back at the Ark for a change.  The Roomie is in Florida with her BoyfriendQuestionMark  (at a trade show thing) and *I* am babysitting the puppy dogs and the birds and my own turtle.  The Padres are sorta tending my tortoise, lizards, and frogs back at their house for now.  The gliders are with me. :) I like being at my apartment.  Feeling a small percentage of normalcy. SMALL.

Other than that "bright side" I am not well. I have felt like crap, especially today.

But the good things I did (Remember, *MY* Things-a-Day are considered successful if I do something Creative OR Productive!):
Worked out at the pool a little.
Did the dishes and a load of laundry.
Went grocery shopping.
Read awhile 1. Book of Mormon, 2. Secret Speakers (P.S. Karey, I am LOVING it so far!) 3. 20.000 Leagues Under the Sea. Yeah, I am a Leeeetle ADD.

Tweeting my way back out of Obscurity?

So, it's been a long time since I updated, so here is the gist. My hilarious brother, BoyKid, is back, my best friend around here is a very strange little cat with OCD, and I spend at least a day a week at the dentist or doctor. I am becoming obsessed with the beautiful modifications of Steampunk, I am using Twitter, and I am still living at the padres' while the Roomie is roommates with my turtles. And with that, hopefully, I will try to write more in the future.


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I want to KEEP my Foster Kid but I can't afford a damn farm.

I was explaining this to Steph earlier who got it so hopefully this won't sound stupid to everyone else either. The reason I haven't been writing lately is I feel like a hypocrite and I don't want to feel like a hypocrite. ("Doin' the Hypocrite Rock rock!" Yeah, I still like Scripture Scouts. I AM a dork.)

I am having a particularly hard time emotionally right now. We have been adjusting my meds, continuing therapy, and working on it from other directions (I am on "meal time" shots, too, now)... but I still mostly feel like I am only half living, and am not "correct thinking" sometimes, which means 1. I finally got approved for one of the lower plans on Medicare (Yay!) and 2. Have been living at my parents' house and under their supervision since January. This week I moved back in to my own home with The Roomie and my critters! Unfortunately the reason I convinced everyone I could go back home WASN'T because I was doing so well, but because I had PROMISED the roomie I would tend the birds (and my own critters) for her big week long hike to Havasou which is now.

Right now the dealio is I HAVE to check in with my parents everyday. Which works since my mom babysits Josie the days I am in charge of day camps. But I am getting ahead of myself. Anyway, they think maybe after The Roomie comes BACK from her hike I should come back to the homestead, but I am negotiating. ;O) hee hee!

So, yeah, struggling. HOWEVER, the crazy part is I have been DOING super fun things! WHY AM I SAD?! It's not fair to be sad when things are good! That's screwed up! Besides being screwed up it makes me sound stupid and fake and hypocritical! "Life is so good! I want to die! Yay fun! I hate myself!" (Wow, that was a LOT of exclamation points.... bugger it. I meant them. They equal emotion, I was being emotive.) Grrr...

But anyway the good things, and I mean REALLY cool things. 1. Parkerisa and the Mini-Fringe HellBaby and new baby, Tommy came from Illinois to visit! 2. I got a foster kid and fell so in love with her it may rip my heart in to pieces to give her back when the time comes... oh, that last part is not so good. But Yeah.

For those of you worried that some deluded child services worker has given me the care of another human being, I mean LITERALLY, a KID. Josie is a baby goat. A Nigerian Pygmy goat to be specific and she is adorable. Her mama rejected her, now she thinks I'm mom. I bottle feed her every 4 hours, let her potty inside my house when we don't make it outside (though we are trying out diapers), worry about her sniffles, and laugh at her hysterical antics. I will have her till she is weaned and then I think I may die. I am so attached. She is horribly spoiled. She is also, unfortunately, every ounce AWARE of how cute and tiny she is and pushes every rule.

I am worried for her. She was a very tiny preemie and not expected to live, so some things are developing GREAT, others she is coming along, others she is behind. I can NOT get her to lick water from a bowl to save her life, though she loves to chew everything in sight. She loves to play and butt and jump onto EVERYTHING, but has major attachment issues when I leave her. It is back and forth. I want to keep her so bad, I have looked into houses with land and SHOCKINGLY (HA!) there are no small farms for rent for under 400 bucks with in commuting distance of work.

For now just trying to enjoy the moment... and learn to heat up bottles faster, change a GOAT'S diaper one handed, and cover the bruises my baby gives me by LITERALLY walking all over me.

Many MANY pictures to follow (of Josie, the wonder goat, not my bruises) as soon as I can find my dang connector cord that said housegoat has probably dragged away to hide and chew. Naughty little brat.

So, yeah, THE FRINGE WILL REAR AGAIN!!! At least Parker (and Risa and HellBaby and Tommy) and Me. And I will finish THAT story later because it is late and I WAS in bed till Josie woke me up and I decided to hold her and blog a little. TA DA! More later about Parker and Sue and MommyDearest and day camps and Stewie's baby shower and my awesome friends etc.

What's so "fun" about having only 4 candy eggs per package?

Random... news.

News 1

Well, BoyKid DID get transfered. I think it's gonna be hard on him, too. He loved training. He LOVED Parma. Also, even though he has that perpetual good attitude thing that few can manage but him, but my mom always looks at, like travel info wherever he goes. And all of it says stuff like "don't plan any time for Ancona. It is a noisy dirty truck stop." Not that missions are for site-seeing... they are for soul-saving! But Parma was Gorgeous. OH and the only thing touristy she found about Ancona? NUDE BEACHES. HA HA HA HA! I mean, Elders can't swim anyway, but they couldn't even walk ALONG the beach here! hee hee hee! SO in a desperate search to find fun things to talk about to baby bro about his new area I went Google happy and found out some LESS, uhh, CONVENTIONAL fame for Ancona. CROP CIRCLES, People. ("I'm insane with anger!") HA! According to several sites, he is in, like, Area 51. "in Ancona are found many mysterious and some of the world's most beautiful crop circles." (one of my favorite parts was where it said that ONE of the 10 was probably a hoax according to ufologists. Did you know that "ufologists" is the same in English and Italian?

News 2

Another deer died. This time it was technically in the next door neighbor's yard but we still had to call to get it picked up. Because we are the Lorax! We speak for the deer! The padre's neighbors are these very nice people from Vietnam who speak very little English. My mom is good friends with the mom. They go out to lunch together, which cracks me up, even though communication is a lot of smiling and nodding. (Also very funny was when my mom and another lady from her church decided to give her a Book of Mormon (VietnaMom is not LDS) in her language, and accidentally gave her one in Urdu (Pakistani language) which looks NOTHING like Vietnamese because it was in Alphabetical order but on the wrong shelf and my mom didn't know any better. She gave it to her, and when she told my mom "I can not read this." she thought she had totally offended her. Then she said "No, I can't read this language!" my mom protested and said "yes! You can! Look, it's in Vietnamese!" So that was pretty awesome because it cracked VietnaMom up for like 20 minutes.)

Anyway, so the other day, VietnaMom comes over and gets Mom and says "you have deer, yes?"

"well, we have them in our yard, but they aren't REALLY OURS you know. I mean, they live here, but I don't own them. I can't like... call them." I think she was worried "our" deer were causing trouble and maybe VietnaMom thought we could stop them. But instead, VietnaMom started to CRY!

"Oh, I so sorry! Your deer is dead! I tell [some other random neighbor] deer die on yard and they say call [Our last name] they know what do!"

So my mom did. She called and they came to take, yet again, another deer away. VietnaMom kept crying, and asked why it died. Mom told her that just happened in the winter.

"because they just so cold?"

"More because the food runs out. They starve."


It was... cute somehow. I don't mean that condescendingly, or to sound racist. It just... was.


News 3

My friend and Crater-ville roomie, Alabama, might just move back to Utah! This is a happy thing, I think. For one thing, I know we don't REALLY live in "Happy Valley" (do I EVER!) but maybe, somehow, being here would be GOOD for her... church-wise. And for me, well, I have been feeling such a longing for old friends, for reconnecting.

News 4

I am dealing with an odd medical thing. A nerve thing. Like an all over body carpal tunnel. Like electric shocks. Like hitting my funny bone all the time. I don't know what I am going to do. Right now it looks like it's to do with a collapsed part in my spine. It hurts, even with meds. I'm not doing so well. It's frustrating.

News 5

I have NOT eaten any Cadbury Mini Eggs from the "fun-size" bag in the drawer in this desk. I am saving them TILL EASTER. I gave them up for Lent and dang it all, I am going to do SOMETHING right this time!

dis jointed

When I am super struggling with depression I either do not write at all or inundate you with entries. I guess this time is the latter. Sorry.

I left church right after the sacrament. Not Sacrament MEETING. The actual Sacrament. I was having a really yucky anxiety attack, and decided it wasn't worth it to be there. I could hardly hear the words being said by the man speaking, my heart was beating all weird and I thought with trying to get my sugars balanced there WAS a chance it might NOT be a panic attack anyway. I felt sick and like I could not sit still. I almost ran out of the chapel. I checked my blood and it wasn't WAY high (just 222) just a little, nor was it low, but I stayed at home anyway, but decided I couldn't do that either. I had to GO somewhere. I felt a little like driving crazy fast in the canyon but decided that was not a safe release right now, so instead I drove to the Padres and decided at least there I could talk to Mom when she got home from her own meetings. She isn't here yet.

What is it about anxiety disorder that makes you feel like your arms and legs are going to go in all different dirrections? Like you have to run away? Like your brain will burst if you STAY somewhere, even somewhere you KNOW you should be.. like CHURCH... a place that is good. A place that is safe. I should have brought my journal. MAYBE I could have written some of my panic out and stayed longer. But I didn't and so I escaped instead.

If Mom doesn't get home soon I may not even get to talk to her anyway (unless this clock has not been changed yet? Let me check. No, it has) because my home teachers are coming over at 4:30. I don't want them to even come. But I do not want to be difficult to visit. They are doing what THEY should. And I should support that. But I don't want to have to face THEM and have THEM wonder (nor do I want to TELL them, though) why I left mid-meeting today.

Bleh.

Oh, and today a song made me cry because it reminded me of Fresno. Sorta figured I was done with THAT, you know? Don't know when I will be. I am certainly not pleased with other "prospects" that like me, and usually the idea of remaining single forever is okay with me so long as I have my critters, but sometimes it sounds pretty depressing. Like when I am, you know, DEPRESSED?!

I am glad I have, at least, an interesting roommate. I really hope I don't chase her away with my clutter and problems. We do weird stuff like learn how to clip bird's wings and other rescue stuff (we have a new rescue right now, a pipit with one wing, who we thought was a thrush) and right now we are experimenting (on us and the animals) with SOUND THERAPY. Basically it sounds like we are listening to alien music... or are robots. It is funny. Some of it is just plain wacko. But some of it is... interesting. Anyway, it is pretty fun and it is something to do.

Sure, it's not roommate stuff like water balloon wars with the boys next door like Rinny, or even wearing wigs in WalMart or driving around making the giant teddy bear wave, which was HILARIOUS... but it is a unique roomie experience. So we have been listening to alien music and giggling at it and the responses of the animals to it.

I should go home for the home teachers now. Also I should feed Bratanik. He probably is a bit confused why we are all acting an hour later than usual.

"What blonde in the kitchen?" "Wouldn't you like to know! Maybe it's Marilyn Monroe!"

Hee hee hee! The Seven Year Itch is pretty hilarious. I always thought I had seen it before, but apparently I was wrong and now I HAVE and it is FUNNY!

Last night I dreamed The Roomie was really mad at me because the house was so chaotic. (And she wouldn't let my home teachers come and yelled at them. I had to ride a giant bike, like 20 feet tall... to go tell them so.) And when I woke up I found out it wasn't SO far off. I mean, it WAS... no bikes, or getting MAD, but she had written me (because we don't do confrontation face-to-face very well) about how things were out of control. I knew that and so it made me feel even EXTRA crappy and depressed, but I was still glad she wrote, you know?

Like I told her, I have always had a problem with STUFF and being organized... and I know it's gotten worse and worse. It's a self defeating behavior... Getting "bargains" makes me feel happy, but having clutter (and worse, making HER and others feel bad!) makes me feel crappy... It is stupid because I can SEE myself cycling, but I still do it. I know it's one of my "behaviors" with my OCD and Depression, but it is one I REALLY need to work on because it most affects other people. I would feel awful if my stuff chased her out of the house!!!

So why do I KNOW this, and still want to cry when I think about getting rid of things? And worse, why still freaking SHOP?!

But, I did to some real, FlyLady-style organizing today. Not a LOT of it... but I made, as my mom calls it "a dent" in the family room and re-vowed to have an empty sink always. And I mean it.

I even got a Storage Unit. It may not be a very smart thing to do, economically... I need to get RID of stuff, not make room for it, but I thought, maybe if I have somewhere empty to take it... sort it... store SOME of it. My little garage away from home. So I did it. It is sort of a secret though.

And my stomach hurts so bad tonight I am afraid that ulcer is going to eat right through the lining and skin and pour out my shirt. And my head isn't much better than that. Urrgh. Doctors. Shots. Bruises left by every injection (how do I not get those?) Pills. PAIN. I hate my body. I hate it as much as it seems to hate ME.

bleh. That's right, I said BLEH.

I am sick.

I know. What else is new?

But THE ROOMIE is sick and she NEVER is, so it must "be going around" which is pretty much true of ANYTHING you catch, but whatever. But yeah. He are BOTH sick. Yesterday I woke up too sick to (get this) go to my doctors appointments. I had a horrible headache and was throwing up like crazy. And couldn't get upstairs, much less drive to a doctor.

Then I found out The Roomie was doing the same thing upstairs, though not as much as me since I am just jinxed.

So I spent a lot of time in bed (bleh), in the bathroom (BLEH), and online. Blogging, catching up on Strong Bad emails (long neglected), watching various babies giggle on YouTube.

I was supposed to go to Rinny's play. Actually, I was FIRST supposed to go to my friend Prism's bridal shower, but then had to tell her I would be going to a doctor thing (Dr. Princess' replacement Dr. NYB (I don't know if I ever mentioned her here, just in Losing It.)) and THEN to Rinny's play if I had time as it was the only time I could probably see her in it. But I ended up not being able to do ANYTHING. Nothing. No party for Prism, no doctor. Just feeling crappy. Then my BISHOPRIC called and asked if they could come over and visit. I really wanted to tell them NO, but as me BEING sick (in general) is one of the main reasons for them wanting to VISIT I felt silly using me being sick (in specific) as an excuse to not let them.

So they came over and the critters were being crazy and Heber was in my shirt... so the Bishopric got to meet HIM in an interesting way. I love my suggies. They are my furry little sanity anchors. So beautiful, too. Those little faces. SIGH! My babies mean SO much to me, I don't know what I would do without them to come home to at night... or be home all day with as the case may be. When I am at home, they just sleep in a pouch around my neck (or even in my bra) and pop out sometimes with cute little faces like "Mom. Spoil me!" And I usually do... slipping them a treat and then they curl back against me chirping and purring till they fall asleep again.

I do love them.

Today I am still sick... but not as sick as yesterday. I am having a VERY exciting day hurting, eating saltines, and watching Little House on the Prairie and other fine daytime TV. hee hee. At least I am trying to catch up with my friends...

My friend Melissa had her baby and for a newborn he is SCARILY CUTE! Observe! His name is Trenton. I miss her. When I am not sick I need to go see her. She is my friend from school in Hawai'i that is blind and she has been SO excited to have this baby. It will be interesting to see what she does to adapt all this to her situation. Her husband, Tom, is pretty awesome, so I am sure it will work out, but yikes... I would be scared to death to have a kid and I am not going as blind as her.

Talked awhile with my friend Gilch. It is funny because I was thinking about it and he really has become one of my best friends, even though he just started out as a friend of a friend. I am glad we write.

Amy's hubby Dave is practicing walking with a CANE now. That's pretty awesome progress. They could still use your prayers a lot. (or, if you want, feel free to donate any pocket change you have. They have a TON of doctor bills and such.)

He moved his arms and legs and I was Braver

This keeps making me giggle.

(a little background, in case you didn't know Kevin Everett is a football player who was temporarily paralyzed after a violent collision during a game a few weeks ago. This piece was about how he is slowly recovering.)

Awesome.

Anyway, at present I am trying to type with only my right hand because McKenzie is INSISTING I use the left to scratch her head. Technically, I am taking my hands safety into my, umm, hands, because you should really not HALF pay attention to an animal who can bite through a finger bone if she got jealous of the typing hand. But we... USUALLY... have a pretty good relationship. Buddy is the one who gave me the scar I have on my thumb. McKenzie is a pretty good girl. Now she is almost falling asleep on my knee. Awww. Okay, I am not a BIRD person, still... but that's pretty darn cute.

What a sweet little girl. She may not be a sugar glider... after all... I still don't TRUST a bird like I trust my babies. They might just turn on you. Granted, suggies might too... but not like birds. But for birds, McKenzie is definitely one of my favorites. And she looks deceivingly angelic right now. I should give her a treat. hee hee!

In case you couldn't guess, I am birdie-sitting. The Roomie left for the weekend. She actually TOOK our newest feather baby with her, the baby parakeet, Critter! He is a cutie, but tiny. I have been calling him a PARA-GLIDER... because we got this idea and have been carrying the little thing around in a sugar glider pouch! HA! And of course, she took the girls. (That's Trinket and Shasta)

So, as usually, I am tending the green things and the birds (minus Critter).

ANYWAY, today I feel a little brave.

This may seem silly but I am NOT good with authority figures. It doesn't really matter if they are nice or not. I do not, voluntarily, talk with doctors, policemen, OR Bishops. It is really hard for me. I get so sick of all these stupid doctors. Anyway, today I went to my Bishop of my new ward with out being asked to. I walked into his office and almost immediately started to bawl. I cried and told him how frustrated I was that I got this shot for my head, but then got the thing with my foot. How it seemed the harder I was trying to do what was right, the harder it was to actually DO so, physically. I told him how few Sundays I could make all 3 meetings. How today I had almost done it... 2 and a half. And how I wanted to be happy about that 2 1/2 but that I had had my procedure this week and just wanted to feel NORMAL now.

I told him that in this ward, where, really, we had a very large number of "special" members with various challenges I also didn't really feel I had any RIGHT to complain. There are people struggling much more than me with major disabilities and yet there THEY are, at church all the time. I KNOW the things he said, about just doing my best and the Lord understanding, I know them but feeling them are different. I did feel better after talking to him (partially just because I let him KNOW I wasn't just skipping church for fun, though I think he knew anyway).

And THAT, people, is progress. I talked to my Bishop without being asked to first. And he made me feel a little better. Yay!

I still feel lost. And damaged. But it's a START.


.

Friday Night Phishing

I thought this was a pretty funny Phishing attempt.

	reply-to			aaaaaainfo@yahoo.dk
	date			Sep 28, 2007 9:26 PM
	subject			My name is Mrs Jane Mayon

Greetings,
My name is Mrs Jane Mayon,I have decided to donate what I have to you.I
was diagnosed for cancer for about Few years ago,immediately after the
death of my husband, who has left me everything he worked for.I have been
touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband
to the you for the good work of God, rather than allow my relatives to use
my husband hard earned funds ungodly.I am suffering from a long time
cancer of the Lungs which also affected my hearing ability and my brain,
from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite
obvious that,according to my doctors they have advised me that I may not
live too long, this is because the cancer has gotten to a very bad stage.
I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of
$10.0million dollars and Two Trunk Box (Family valuables) with a Security
Company.I decided to WILL/donate the sum of $10,000,000:00 to you. At the
moment I cannot take any telephone calls right .I have adjusted my WILL
and my Personal Physican is aware I have changed my will. You and him will
arrange the transfer of the funds from my account to you. I wish you all
the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the
funds well and always extend the good work to others. Contact my Physican
Dr Jack Ryan with this specified email-- drjackryan6@yahoo.dk, Tel +44
70457 35828(Working) and tell him that I have WILLED $10,000,000:00 my
personal reference number law/chamber/solicitors/je/ws

/WILL/9834520012. I
have also notified him that I am WILLING that amount to you from my
perosnal descion.I know I dont know you but I have been directed to do
this.Thanks and God bless.I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in
this matter until the task is accomplished as I don't want anything that
will Jeopardize my last wish.
Regards, Mrs Jane Mayon
NB; Do Send Him The Necessary Below information To Faclilate The Funds
Release WILL For You
(i) FULL NAMES.
(ii) RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS, CITY, STATE AND COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE.
(iii) AGE, SEX AND MARITAL STATUS.
(iv) DIRECT PHONE NUMBER
(v) OCCUPATION
(vi) EMAIL ADDRESS
NB Contact my Physican Dr Jack Ryan with this specified email--
drjackryan6@yahoo.dk
Tel +44 70457 35828(Working)

Are you tired of the phishermen asking you to keep sneaky, almost illegal (but NOT so illegal that you would be in trouble for doing so) deeds quiet in exchange for huge amounts of money? DON'T WORRY! Jane is not like that! She wants me to use it for the work of God!

And she KNOWS me. She knows that unlike her relatives who would spend it in ungodly ways, *I* am virtuous. She knows this because of how well she knows me which she proves by the fact that she, uuuh, knew my email address. Even though she apparently does not know my name.

Also, just in case, the fact that being religious doesn't convince you, Mrs. Mayon is *sniffle* DYING OF CANCER! Even if I don't want that money, how can I deny her last wish? Oh, poor Jane Mayon.... HOW should I spend her money?

hee hee hee!

ANYWAY...
I wanted to go to water aerobics at the pool today, but my dumb foot wouldn't let me. I did clean my room and made a couple bags to give to DI. So that was good... to... do. But as dumb as this sounds, it wore me out and really hurt my dumb foot.

And yes, apparently DUMB is the word of the day.

Even though I am so NOT Rinny, I felt a little like her and her silly roomie world... The Roomie had a Date with BalloonMan today I admit it made me feel stupid and jealous. Made me miss having, well, a boy even a far away one. Dumb. DUMB.

Sigh. Goodnight.

to Boldly Go...

I am having one of THOSE Saturdays. I guess it is a typical Saturday, really, for weekends where I am not teaching a scout class. "Saturday is a Special Day, the Day you..."

do laundry. Lots of laundry because The Roomie went home for Labor Day and so I don't need to hog it another day! Which also means...

birdie-sitting. Buddy's been jabbering away today. They both miss The Roomie a lot, though and get WHINY. But still, they are nice birds. Oh, and just to update a little bit, we do NOT have the Vizsla but we got her a "stay of execution" and connections with a Vizsla rescue group! *phew!*

spending too much time on Gaia. Especially right now. Because we are having a water fight. *blush*
Yes, I am PRETENDING to have a water fight. Such. a. DORK.

watching Star Trek. Yes. As in the OLD one. hee hee hee.

missing my baby bro. His letters are awesome. But dang. SIGH.

Pondering very odd things. Like being a princess. Or being vegetarian.

BEING DOMESTIC! Yes, that's right people, I am feeling all COOK-ISH! Because I am cleaning out my fridge and part of my cupboard and found cereal! And MARSHMALLOWS! So I think I am going to TRY and make, like a Rice Krispy Treat thing! Except that kind with peanut buteer. I don't know HOW they do that, but it's yummier. Rinny makes them. So does my mom.

YAY! Imagunna do that NOW!

Happy Thoughts

Sometimes the oddest things make me happy. Like Spam. And my roomie. Okay, so in a perfect world a roommate shouldn't be that shocking of a good thing, but I have had a rather patchy history with roomies. So it is fun to live with a good one. Especially in The Ark when so much of our energies are focused on animal rescue.

But first, Spam. Me and my mom were just talking about how sometimes it is funny when they clearly don't speak English so well and say things like "we have yes girls is hottest girls if you" but this one takes the cake for lack of just a letter E.

SUBJECT: The sexist singles want to date you.

So, will he insist my place is in the kitchen? Will he call me woman and make me cook? HEE HEE HEE! That has just been making me giggle all morning.

On to the Roomie and our pet saving adventures. A couple weeks ago or so there were 3 friendly but rambunctious strays in our neighborhood, basically turning into a rather disruptive PACK of dogs. They liked our dogs a lot and since they could clear our fence made it very hard to take the girls OUT to even go potty. They were a German Shepherd, a Vizsla, and something else. All nice, but all LARGE and rowdy and though not mean, not a one had a collar or had eaten in some time. The Roomie finally actually called animal control.

To be honest, I didn't know we DID that at our house since we usually placed so many ourselves, but these were BIG dogs and not the type that would be coming into OUR condo with welcome arms. I thought that was the end of that. Only here is the thing. The Roomie has been VISITING the dogs, and checking if they are being claimed or adopted and as the time is approaching, well, she has fallen in love with the Vizsla. She told me yesterday that we have to get her OUT of there, now that we put her in. She is going to pay for it, but as she has 2 dogs registered, she can not. SO if she is still there tomorrow (Thursday) *I* will be "adopting" this big hunting dog (for her) and we are taking her to a home she has lined up with her relative.

Basically a "we put her in there... now we have to get her out!"

I just think that is both awesome... AND hilarious... and I will own a dog of my OWN... for 2 days before she is transported to her REAL home. YAY! What's a good Hungarian name? She is a Hungarian Vizsla. Otherwise I think I will call her Amber.

It is so nice to live with some one that is MORE of an activist than me! It's like getting to follow around Jane Goodall!

In other news, the red show barn is locked.
Rinny is not here and thus neither is her magnetic key card thingy.
I do not really want to walk to Farm Country to potty.
So instead I am writing as a break in hopes that maybe my urge to pee will just be re-absorbed?
Maybe?

So Yeah, I am at work taking a break from the frustration that is Finding Reputable Suppliers of Strange Supplies. So far I am HOPING I can get our tadpoles from Aquatic Dragon, as well as a few new Papyrus plants for our pond as ours do NOT seem very PAPYRUS-Y.

And if I can convince Live Monarch that I AM a proponent of Milkweed and encourage all I know to plant it (Hey, you guys, seriously PLANT SOME MILKWEED!!!!!!!) they MIGHT sell us caterpillars at a reasonable rate.

Aaaaaaand.... I have to Pee.

Now that THAT is done it is back to being frustrated at the lack of sources for tadpoles and caterpillars. (Aquatic Dragon seems to be down.) BLEH.

~~~~~~~~~~~

SO, guess who is NOT DYING (HOW? HOW is that possible?) and running for MAYOR in Huntington? My friend BIG CADE!!! AND he is not so big! He has lost 100 pounds in 3 months! Also it was good to hear from her him and Tiff how the whole thing with the mine has been with them. The media gets it so weird and I just wanted to know the real story, you know?

Awww! I have missed Tiff and Cade! I should call her. We should play.

But I am just so amazed with the blessings that have happened to Cade. A few months ago he was dying... DYING of a brain tumor.

I wonder what other miracles will happen for my friends. Like Amy and Dave. I put their names in the Temple, but keep praying for them.

Things ARE improving. Can you believe it? He is starting to TALK... just barely, but STILL.

AND...

WALK.

Wow. Slow going. But Miracles sure DO happen.

Bubble Gum Pie... YUMMMM!

Today I went to Sandy and joined my Aunt Clare's primary for a bit.
I taught them to sign "Listen to the Still Small Voice
(... Listen Listen. When you have to make a choice He will guide yooooooou... Always.")

I sat with T-La (who was skipping nursery with Caleb and Elijah for the "occasion") till my turn. I also had to share a little mission story (gag.) and scripture (Which I explained the story of the very awesome 1st Kings 19:11-12 in the Bible (Elijah is ALMOST as cool as Paul.)). It went... okay. I know, I teach for my JOB. But even still I still hate being in front of groups like that. I was so nervous the whole time and the stress doesn't stop when I sit down (because that's when the second guessing sets in.) One-on One I am okay. Walking around and saying "oh that is a great looking cow, Maria!" or "Can you tell me why you chose meters, Corbin?" I can do that. But the in front all eyes on me, even KID eyes... I get scared.

So, yeah, even though Clare and T-La said I did great and the kids seemed interested I still didn't feel that great about the whole thing. I was feeling BETTER before the Primary President asked me, AFTER I had taught the kids the song and such, "so, now, do you actually know Sign?"

She meant it innocently enough. I could have got it out of a book AND I was nervous enough I didn't look all that fluent AND I am VERY rusty. But it still was a pretty crushing question, considering.

Anyway, after primary I took off for Megs and Jake's! Megs has been sick and we haven't talked in way too long but then *I* have been sick too and I so didn't care. I needed to see her and just to talk.

We chatted about stuff. We talked about our all too many medical maladies. I cried and told her about Fresno. She showed me a bunch of recorded Divine Comedy Pro Tour skits from the TiVo or DirectTV or whatever fancy beeping TV thingy it is she has that I so don't have ("Saturday's Ninja"... OH. MY. HECK. SO funny.) and watching various Flight of the Conchords songs on You Tube like Albi the Racist Dragon



And Business Time


So RANDOM.

Then we (Me, Meggy, Jake) went over to Les & T-La's house... which is also Aunt Clare & Uncle Lynn's house... and Gabe & Caleb & Elijah... and their 2 dogs, Ratu & Sydney and only a few years ago was also the home of Megan AND Grandma (Yeah, busy house)... for family dinner with them. It was fun and yummy. (T-La cooked and she is QUITE the chef.) We talked and played awhile and then Megs went home not feeling well but I stayed and played with the boys and chatted with T-La. She really is SUPER Mom... to a fault... and those boys, especially Caleb, are PAINFULLY cute. But HYPER!!!!! OH MY GOSH.

I got MAULED today. And pummeled with blankets. And forced to watch Yu-Gi-Oh... with commentary from Gabe.
"[Kipluck], you will LOVE this movie! It is scary because they are in a mind and and it is dark and spooky! Don't be spooked though. It's a cartoon. That guy is named Pegasus."
"Because... he is a flying horse?" I asked, foolishly.
"NO, this isn't HERCULES!"
Silly me.

I *heart* those boys, though. (but no, fyi, I did NOT love Yugioh. Sorry, Gabriel.)

Speaking of Anime, though, Rinny just moved into Old Mill (much to her TERROR since that is right by where *I* lived when I had my Jeep and identity stolen even though that was a totally FREAK thing) and where as her last apartment was her, the 2 Melissas and the one non-Melissa (Ashley), now they have her, Melissa, and 2 ASHLEYS. And the new Ashley is an Anime fanatic and ALSO has 2 (*ahem* not actually allowed in the contract but here's hoping nobody narcs.... like my dad... grrrr...) CHINCHILLAS that I am excited to meet. I love Chinnies. Chinchilla people and Glider people sort of seem to go in the same social circles, you know? Anyway, yeah.

So I cried a little about the Fresno thing today but it was good to talk to Megs about stuff... that and other stuff (and about how I needed to not have it be a Cousin Jas thing because she knew all that stuff)...

and also to write to Gilch, too. Not the same thing, really, we talked about nerdy stuff instead. It was just ALSO good to hear from him. Sometimes you really need a guy friend. A REAL guy friend, not a former boyfriend who you WANT to be a more with but... can't. Just... a friend. Who is a boy. A Substitute BoyKid more than a substitute Fresno.



Sometimes...

it all feels
like homesickness...

even though
I am at home.



Anyway, I have things to keep me busy (not as sick, so back to regular work, plus a bit of a small business scheme I am plotting now... always dealing with C.H.A.O.S. (not that that really makes me feel BETTER but it does keep me BUSY.. BLEH.)... my silly critters... etc. So I think I can start trying to pretend he never existed for awhile. Sigh.

What Up, HOMIE?

1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?
not counting shampoos and conditioners...
SoftSoap Antibacterial hand soap
Body Balance Vanilla Body Scrub
Dove for Sensitive Skin
St. Ives -Purity (yes, apparently they bottle VALUES and I rub them on myself with a puff thing. weird.)
St. Ives - Energize

2. Do you have any watermelon in your fridge?
Actually, I DID have some yesterday. But I ate it today.

3. Is there anything moldy in your refrigerator?
I don't think so.
4. Are there any dirty dishes in your sink?
a FEW, but there is at least soap in them. MOST are in the dishwasher.
5. What would you change about your living room?
A better CD shelf, a better coffee table... basically if we had all new furniture, that would rock.

6. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
Dirty.

7. Do you have a can of mushrooms in your pantry?
The Roomie might. She probably DOES. I sure don't. BLECK.

8. White or wheat bread?
Wheat with thingies in it... like whole grain crunchies...
9. What is on top of your refrigerator?
a bowl of some HORRIBLE flax cracker things The Roomie made, ice cube trays, paper plates, and phone books.
10. What color is your sofa?
Umm... green and blue and "cranberry" in a "southwestern"-type print
11. What color or design is on your shower curtain?
a blue plastic liner with a white with rubber duckies cloth one

12. How many plants are in your home?
Umm...at least 18, not counting bamboo?

13. How many candles are in your home?
not all are being used, but at least 30 counting little tea lights on standy things.

14. Is your bed made right now?
PSHAW NO.

15. If you have a coffee pot, what color is it?
I don't. I have a few little tea bots, but the only "real" one is just white
16. Electric or standard can opener?
ELECTRIC. I am way too lazy to crank like that.

27. Comet or Soft Scrub?
THE WORKS!

28. Is your closet organized?
unlike the rest of my house, yes, it is mostly.
29. What color is the flashlight that you use the most?
a giant yellow one

30. What kinds of things are in your junk drawer?
TREASURES BEYOND YOUR WILDEST IMAGINATION!!!!!
31. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?
glass... if I even USE a cup. I use bottles/jugs a lot.
32. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
nope, because I do NOT like in Texas anymore!

33. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
No garage, just a carport. But if I had one, pretty sure it would be cluttered.

34. Curtains or blinds?
blinds most everywhere, though I DO have a Texas flag on my window in my room pretending to be a curtain.

35. How many pillows do you sleep with?
4

36. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?
Not in my room, but I have a night light in the bathroom.
37. How many ceiling fans are in your home?
none. Just a lot of table fans and stuff that I sit in front of constantly.

38. How often do you vacuum?
Depends on the room. Glider room is weekly. The other rooms, umm, not so much.

39. Standard toothbrush or electric?
Standard... hee hee... sounds like it's a car. "yeah, I brush a stick." Okay, maybe I'm a little punchy after a bad day.
40. What color is your toothbrush?
Purple and white!

41. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
Yep!
42. What is in your oven right now?
Some tinfoil and the grate things that the oven comes with! Who do you think I am, Betty Crocker?
43. Is your microwave clean or dirty?
clean. Not pretty sparkley, but clean.

44. Is there anything under your bed?
bins that hold my clothes.

45. Chore you hate doing the most?
organizing the family room. It is just. too. much.

And anything with chemicals that make me itch.

46. What retro items are in your home?
we could call MOST of the things in our house "retro" if we wanted... as pretty much everything is from garage sales. hee hee!

47. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
Sort of. It's really more of a library, but SORT OF an office, too!

48. If you have a yard, who mows it?
Me or The Roomie mow our little bitty yard with a weedwhacker.

49. Is there anything on your kitchen floor right now?
a little rug by the sink?

50. How many mirrors are in your home?
Umm, 4, unless you count hand mirrors in drawers or something

51. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?
Yes, for one thing I always keep a large bill inside a favorite stuffed animal, just like on the Rescuers.

52. What color are your walls?
off white... which is worse than white. <--- ditto, except my bathroom which is, like puked up olive green which is worse than either.

53. Which rooms in your house have wallpaper?
NONE in THIS house, thank goodness. My last house was, like, crazy with in. A*Who, dude, I sometimes miss the randomonium! And CC, I LOVE your wallporn!!!

54. Do you have a peephole in your front door?
I... I actually realized I DON'T KNOW! We rarely use the front door and I am not going to check right now. How funny.

55. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your house?
I need to FIND my mace. (pepper spray... not a big spiked club), I have a knife in my car, and apparently when threatened in my home by zombie balloons I chuck empty jugs at them.

56. What does your home smell like right now?
a little like soup?

57. Fave candle scent?
vanilla... or orange chocolate... or spice something...

58. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?
I like bread and butter ones okay, but I don't have any. But the Roomie may have mini gherkins? However, to be honest all I can think when I read this is LINK UP. But only some people would get why.

59. Who are in the pictures you displayed?
Rosie the Riveter. My sugar gliders. Super Man. Christ. Megan. One of my Fam.

60. What color is your favorite bible?
Dark green. (cover)

61. Do you have plenty of cabinet space in your kitchen?
Maybe if we used it better, but NO.

62. Ever been on your roof?
no, but my dad/landie has.

62. Do you own a stereo?
YES! YES I DO! IT HAS A RECORD PLAYER AND A TAPE PLAYER AND A CD PLAYER AND A RADIO!!!

63. How many tvs do you have?
2. A big one and a little one.

64. How many house phones?
3, but we don't use them.

65. Do you have a housekeeper?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

66. What style do you decorate in?
Random. Very VERY random. But my room is mostly Rosie the Riveter and Superman and Texas, so, like Red White Blue and Yellow.

67. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?
Both! Mix it up!

68. Is there a smoke detector in your home?
actually, we were just discussing this. No. We need to get some. We have a carbon monoxide detector and filter our water but not a single FIRE ALARM?!

68. In case of fire, what are the items you would grab if you only could make one quick trip?
my gliders, my computer, and my purse (which would have my phone and money in it. But mostly my pets

69. Do you know how to work your electrical box?
Like as in the fuse box? If so, yes.

70. What temperature in your home is most comfortable to you?
JUST me and not The Roomie? 70 degrees. ALATIME!

rotten tomatoes

It's just... SUCKY.

My mom sent me this article which is probably really good. (I've only skimmed) But the thing is I am not really sad about "BEING SINGLE." I don't care that much about being single in the church or anywhere else, really. I don't miss having a boyfriend. (Heaven knows I was never very good at it) I Miss HIM. That's all.

Everything in the WORLD seems to relate to him. Either it reminds me of him or it's something I would go home and call him and tell him. And so I can not stop crying.

Even at work. It is a good thing it wasn't a long day. Even kids saw me cry. I said I hurt my head. It was partially true.





The Roomie's upstairs on a date. I think it's going well. They are laughing.

My I Have a Dream Speech would REALLY suck...

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.
- David Richerby

Last night I dreamed the Roomie and I actually ADOPTED Mini-Roomie. And we were a COUPLE. And we were Lesbians. Also, there was a talking plant in our living room that wanted to EAT Mini-Roomie.

And last night my mom dreamed Padre had KIDNAPPED a child of one of his renters to hold as ransom till they paid their rent.

At least I come by my insanity honestly. GEEZ.

F.U.

...meaning Follow Up. ;O) hee hee!

So things DID cheer up, at least a little bit. To start with, just before I left this ...

young dude showed up! Mom grimaced when she saw him and said "I swear if he dies in our yard I am calling Get Gephardt!" But he seems okay so FAR. I am calling the little buck "Alpo" because his antlers looks like fuzzy chew bones.

Then I went home and hung out with the Roomie. We stole a WiFi point and looked online at animals we wish we could have if we were "extremely wealthy, eccentric, stay-at-home Pet Moms" Kinkajous... Rosella Parrots... Hedgehogs... Mudpuppies... etc.

Later our service actually came back. We also worked with the birds and let them watch their favorite Celebirdy, Victor. But The Roomie was listing all the words victor knew and was saying them in alphabetical and then said, "Oh there are about 30 f-words..." and I cracked up. She meant he knew 30 words beginging with F and I knew that but it still made me laugh and she got all flustered and said "Oh... yeah, I mean... well, you know. I wonder if he knows THAT one. Oh, nope. Good boy. Fuss. That's the only one that says F-U."
I lost it again. We were having way too much fun. hee hee hee hee! I love my roommate!

After she took the puppies to bed, (Trinket is, like TERRIFIED right now. She HATES the fireworks and is stiff and frightened all the time, poor thing.) I decided that even though I was not feeling so great I wanted to at least see SOME fireworks. So I snuck out and watched a few on our street.
It was kinda fun. But mostly, standing on the corner away from the group of neighbors I didn't really know, just made me feel lonelier. It made me miss Fresno, too, and mad at myself that I am not better at expressing how I feel... about him... to him. (Mom and I discussed that today. SIGH)

Anyhow, Happy 4th of July!

Cats and Hogs and Spiders... Oh My!

Sorry about the lapse in updating. I was trying to CATCH UP on my blog... and finish about my California trip... but didn't let you know that FINALLY yesterday the kitten was captured (we took apart our dryer) and she is, at present, YOWLING AT ME like some sort of demon from with in her dog/glider/kitty kennel. AND she is doing SO GOOD! But first, a little back story since I didn't say much about the cat (who, by the way, I am CALLING a she, but could just as easily be a boy as I am not a cat person and just can't tell as easy as gliders, you know?) at first other than HELP HELP THERE'S A CAT LOST IN MY WALLS!!!

We were out at the Gardens doing Robotics Camp on a very very rainy day when a couple of the kids started claiming they heard something crying. I thought it was a raccoon because the day BEFORE Me, Rerun, and Rinny had to rescue a young frightened coon from an empty dumpster! (Don't worry, we were very safe about it, and when they started yelling and called me over I told them not to try and touch it but instead put in a plank for it to climb and backed away). Well, it wasn't. It was a little wild kitten and she was drowning in a landscaping brick filling with water. It took a while to get her out as we had no gloves and thus were trying to lasso her with my name tag lanyard and finally grabbing her by the tail. She was coated in mud and leaves and was hissing and spitting. I wrapped her in a towel and kept her in a box in my office till I got her home to have The Roomie help.

We cleaned her up as best we could and also found out she had a 3 inch long stick in her eye (just the SOCKET luckily, not her eye BALL, but still OUCH!) Anyway, she was crying and crying and I thought that maybe I should let her out of the box in the bathroom.

I don't have a CLUE how she got OUT of the bathroom, but she vanished. She was in the walls and we couldn't get her out. Then we finally got her out of the walls and she was behind the furnace! The way we found her was when she started ANSWERING our meows. It was like playing Marco Polo, which is what we started calling her., even if she IS a she, which is in doubt. I ALMOST caught her once, but not before she got behind and INTO the back of the dryer! Finally, yesterday, The Roomie texted me at work that she had caught her! YAY!!!

She is doing SO GOOD now. She's like a different kitten. She rarely bites or hisses. She still escapes and hides really well, but she seems to really like attention. Not being HELD exactly, but she is lonely and I think she at least considers us as an acceptable 2nd choice to her mama. And so, for now, we have a kitten. Trinket is NOT pleased.

It's later now and CC and me went to Spiderman 3! It was silly and cheesy and good and FUN! (Evil Emo bangs. hee hee hee) Then we played with the kitten... and BoyKid's motorcycle. It was good to get out. Stop thinking a little while.

But that whole thinking thing... ugh... stupid California Fish Cops... dumb laws... highly frustrated heart...

I will write more about, well, Cali and such, later. And let you all know when *that's* up. But for now I better feed the [growing number of] babies and try to sleep! Church starts early... I wish there was a ward I LOVED... preferably one that was NOT at 9. I know it shouldn't matter. It SHOULDN'T. I should just do what is right because it is right. Why am I such a spiritual wuss?