Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Happy Thoughts

Sometimes the oddest things make me happy. Like Spam. And my roomie. Okay, so in a perfect world a roommate shouldn't be that shocking of a good thing, but I have had a rather patchy history with roomies. So it is fun to live with a good one. Especially in The Ark when so much of our energies are focused on animal rescue.

But first, Spam. Me and my mom were just talking about how sometimes it is funny when they clearly don't speak English so well and say things like "we have yes girls is hottest girls if you" but this one takes the cake for lack of just a letter E.

SUBJECT: The sexist singles want to date you.

So, will he insist my place is in the kitchen? Will he call me woman and make me cook? HEE HEE HEE! That has just been making me giggle all morning.

On to the Roomie and our pet saving adventures. A couple weeks ago or so there were 3 friendly but rambunctious strays in our neighborhood, basically turning into a rather disruptive PACK of dogs. They liked our dogs a lot and since they could clear our fence made it very hard to take the girls OUT to even go potty. They were a German Shepherd, a Vizsla, and something else. All nice, but all LARGE and rowdy and though not mean, not a one had a collar or had eaten in some time. The Roomie finally actually called animal control.

To be honest, I didn't know we DID that at our house since we usually placed so many ourselves, but these were BIG dogs and not the type that would be coming into OUR condo with welcome arms. I thought that was the end of that. Only here is the thing. The Roomie has been VISITING the dogs, and checking if they
are being claimed or adopted and as the time is approaching, well, she has fallen in love with the Vizsla. She told me yesterday that we have to get her OUT of there, now that we put her in. She is going to pay for it, but as she has 2 dogs registered, she can not. SO if she is still there tomorrow (Thursday) *I* will be "adopting" this big hunting dog (for her) and we are taking her to a home she has lined up with her relative.

Basically a "we put her in there... now we have to get her out!"

I just think that is both awesome... AND hilarious... and I will own a dog of my OWN... for 2 days before she is transported to her REAL home. YAY! What's a good Hungarian name? She is a Hungarian Vizsla. Otherwise I think I will call her Amber.

It is so nice to live with some one that is MORE of an activist than me! It's like getting to follow around Jane Goodall!

In other news, the red show barn is locked.
Rinny is not here and thus neither is her magnetic key card thingy.
I do not really want to walk to Farm Country to potty.
So instead I am writing as a break in hopes that maybe my urge to pee will just be re-absorbed?

So Yeah, I am at work taking a break from the frustration that is Finding Reputable Suppliers of Strange Supplies. So far I am HOPING I can get our tadpoles from Aquatic Dragon, as well as a few new Papyrus plants for our pond as ours do NOT seem very PAPYRUS-Y.

And if I can convince Live Monarch that I AM a proponent of Milkweed and encourage all I know to plant it (Hey, you guys, seriously PLANT SOME MILKWEED!!!!!!!) they MIGHT sell us caterpillars at a reasonable rate.

Aaaaaaand.... I have to Pee.

Now that THAT is done it is back to being frustrated at the lack of sources for tadpoles and caterpillars. (Aquatic Dragon seems to be down.) BLEH.


SO, guess who is NOT DYING (HOW? HOW is that possible?) and running for MAYOR in Huntington? My friend BIG CADE!!! AND he is not so big! He has lost 100 pounds in 3 months! Also it was good to hear from her him and Tiff how the whole thing with the mine has been with them. The media gets it so weird and I just wanted to know the real story, you know?

Awww! I have missed Tiff and Cade! I should call her. We should play.

But I am just so amazed with the blessings that have happened to Cade. A few months ago he was dying... DYING of a brain tumor.

I wonder what other miracles will happen for my friends. Like Amy and Dave. I put their names in the Temple, but keep praying for them.

Things ARE improving. Can you believe it? He is starting to TALK... just barely, but STILL.



Wow. Slow going. But Miracles sure DO happen.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

New on KFC's Menu... Guilt Trips for just $1 more

It is a random Tuesday. So you get random Tidbits. Here.

Tidbit #1. So, today I totally got scolded indirectly by the Colonel. It was pretty hilarious, really, in an embarrassing sort of way. But I learned my lesson... maybe. For a WHILE anyway.

Tidbit #2. This is totally just for CC. Okay, everyone can look, but I only expect her to either laugh her head off or throw something sharp at me for it. THAT'S A RISK I'M WILLING TO TAKE.

Tidbit #3. Sometimes I feel my job is just a very drawn out scavenger hunt. It's like Find a reliable online source for all of the following for under a buck each
1. Tadpoles
2. Caterpillars
3. Papyrus sheets (which, incidentally, is how I stumbled across Tidbit #2)

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Shots, pots, and Aquaba[u]ts

I have been having a rather consistent string of bad days lately. Some of it is medical. Quite a bit of it, really. My headaches are coming back. And the Diabetes, this weekend I pretty much cheated. I cheated because I was sick of trying, for one, and because my stupid numbers didn't seem to change one way or the other whether I tried or not.

I cheated. I ate pasta and bread. Heck, even contemplated Cheesecake (but didn't) and my numbers were horrible.
But earlier, I tried really hard, like I did all month... my numbers were horrible.
That's how things have been lately.
Controlling my diet and not cheating at all.
Taking Metformin...
and Actos...
and Januvia...
and cinnamon.
And still never getting under 200s...(hmmm... just like my weight. LOVERLY.)

So I cheated. Because what the hell is the point anyway?
I will tell you where the point is. The end of the needle. The doctors have been saying so every single time but I have begged and begged for reprieves and pardons and second chances. But after this next follow up, I WON'T get one. I will be going on needles not just for emergencies, but full-time.

As a pretty major trypanophobic, well, let's just say I am scared to death to even go to the doctor about it.

I know I have to, I just... ugh.

On the bright side, I have really good friends.

I recently had a good time renewing an old friendship with a high school friend, Pepper. I was sort of scared to because it is one of those awkward things, you know? I kept thinking either it would be weird and nothing like in high school... or it would be JUST LIKE in high school and therefore really weird and... ahhh... High-Maintenance. Either way, umm, yeah. However, it ended up pretty fun! We played with her rabbit and her nephew who is, essentially, her son. His mom, Pepper's little sister, is now severely disabled, both mentally and physically. It is so WEIRD to see her now. She is a little higher functioning than Roomie's J. It is the saddest thing. (This is Sparkle... not the younger sister who married TexasBoy's clone, just to keep things straight.) But, so Pepper basically raises the boy now. Caring for him... and mostly her sister as well.

Anyway, we (she, another old friend Stacy, and I) met at her home, hung out a bit and then went to the new Provo Arts Center that Pepper's dad is the manager of. It used to be the library, now it is a big theater. We saw Best of Broadway: Featuring the Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber. The beginning was pretty boring, but it was fun later. And afterward we hung out and got drafted into helping which is always interesting, meeting the stars... and having to alphabetize tickets for the next show. Because when you know people... you get put to WORK! hee hee!

Then Yesterday. I gave CC a gift certificate to Color Me Mine for... either Christmas or her Birthday... either way it was way late and THEN it took forever for us to ACT on it and so we finally made plans to GO and Cupcake came too and we painted our hearts out! Not everything worked the way we WANTED exactly, but still... I think it will all look better all cooked and shiny. We also went out to eat at Macaroni Grill. VERY yummy, but very carby (and the topic of that paragraph about cheating.)

Also yesterday was Mali's BIRTHDAY!!!! I finally got over there eventually and we got to hang out and talk and give her the news that she was taller than her friends but God made her that way (hee hee hee!) and her gift... WE ARE GOING TO TOAD THE WET SPROCKET ((and NOW THEY'VE ADDED AQUABATS!) And Dashboard Confessional! and the rest of the Jamboree) September 8th people! Feel free to be jealous.

You SHOULD be.

Friday, August 24, 2007

And yet... they DO, Fergie

Blogging is my therapy. When I am having a hard time, I blog. When I am having a VERY hard time I blog a LOT... like, a couple times a day sometimes.

And when things are really REALLY bad I shut up and do not blog for a few days.

And, incidentally, who knew I didn't hate Fergie?
Yeah. this kinda fits me right now. Go figure.

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone

I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and Uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

~Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Bubble Gum Pie... YUMMMM!

Today I went to Sandy and joined my Aunt Clare's primary for a bit.
I taught them to sign "Listen to the Still Small Voice
(... Listen Listen. When you have to make a choice He will guide yooooooou... Always.")

I sat with T-La (who was skipping nursery with Caleb and Elijah for the "occasion") till my turn. I also had to share a little mission story (gag.) and scripture (Which I explained the story of the very awesome 1st Kings 19:11-12 in the Bible (Elijah is ALMOST as cool as Paul.)). It went... okay. I know, I teach for my JOB. But even still I still hate being in front of groups like that. I was so nervous the whole time and the stress doesn't stop when I sit down (because that's when the second guessing sets in.) One-on One I am okay. Walking around and saying "oh that is a great looking cow, Maria!" or "Can you tell me why you chose meters, Corbin?" I can do that. But the in front all eyes on me, even KID eyes... I get scared.

So, yeah, even though Clare and T-La said I did great and the kids seemed interested I still didn't feel that great about the whole thing. I was feeling BETTER before the Primary President asked me, AFTER I had taught the kids the song and such, "so, now, do you actually know Sign?"

She meant it innocently enough. I could have got it out of a book AND I was nervous enough I didn't look all that fluent AND I am VERY rusty. But it still was a pretty crushing question, considering.

Anyway, after primary I took off for Megs and Jake's! Megs has been sick and we haven't talked in way too long but then *I* have been sick too and I so didn't care. I needed to see her and just to talk.

We chatted about stuff. We talked about our all too many medical maladies. I cried and told her about Fresno. She showed me a bunch of recorded Divine Comedy Pro Tour skits from the TiVo or DirectTV or whatever fancy beeping TV thingy it is she has that I so don't have ("Saturday's Ninja"... OH. MY. HECK. SO funny.) and watching various Flight of the Conchords songs on You Tube like Albi the Racist Dragon

And Business Time


Then we (Me, Meggy, Jake) went over to Les & T-La's house... which is also Aunt Clare & Uncle Lynn's house... and Gabe & Caleb & Elijah... and their 2 dogs, Ratu & Sydney and only a few years ago was also the home of Megan AND Grandma (Yeah, busy house)... for family dinner with them. It was fun and yummy. (T-La cooked and she is QUITE the chef.) We talked and played awhile and then Megs went home not feeling well but I stayed and played with the boys and chatted with T-La. She really is SUPER Mom... to a fault... and those boys, especially Caleb, are PAINFULLY cute. But HYPER!!!!! OH MY GOSH.

I got MAULED today. And pummeled with blankets. And forced to watch Yu-Gi-Oh... with commentary from Gabe.
"[Kipluck], you will LOVE this movie! It is scary because they are in a mind and and it is dark and spooky! Don't be spooked though. It's a cartoon. That guy is named Pegasus."
"Because... he is a flying horse?" I asked, foolishly.
"NO, this isn't HERCULES!"
Silly me.

I *heart* those boys, though. (but no, fyi, I did NOT love Yugioh. Sorry, Gabriel.)

Speaking of Anime, though, Rinny just moved into Old Mill (much to her TERROR since that is right by where *I* lived when I had my Jeep and identity stolen even though that was a totally FREAK thing) and where as her last apartment was her, the 2 Melissas and the one non-Melissa (Ashley), now they have her, Melissa, and 2 ASHLEYS. And the new Ashley is an Anime fanatic and ALSO has 2 (*ahem* not actually allowed in the contract but here's hoping nobody narcs.... like my dad... grrrr...) CHINCHILLAS that I am excited to meet. I love Chinnies. Chinchilla people and Glider people sort of seem to go in the same social circles, you know? Anyway, yeah.

So I cried a little about the Fresno thing today but it was good to talk to Megs about stuff... that and other stuff (and about how I needed to not have it be a Cousin Jas thing because she knew all that stuff)...

and also to write to Gilch, too. Not the same thing, really, we talked about nerdy stuff instead. It was just ALSO good to hear from him. Sometimes you really need a guy friend. A REAL guy friend, not a former boyfriend who you WANT to be a more with but... can't. Just... a friend. Who is a boy. A Substitute BoyKid more than a substitute Fresno.


it all feels
like homesickness...

even though
I am at home.

Anyway, I have things to keep me busy (not as sick, so back to regular work, plus a bit of a small business scheme I am plotting now... always dealing with C.H.A.O.S. (not that that really makes me feel BETTER but it does keep me BUSY.. BLEH.)... my silly critters... etc. So I think I can start trying to pretend he never existed for awhile. Sigh.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

lady of the evening...

Okay, so I'm not a hooker... or a vampire... though, when reading Eclipse.... Mmmmm....

ANYWAY...Scouts was long and tiring and my stupid cold made it longer and more tiring.

And by the time environmental science was over I was BEAT and very sick. So I didn't get out to DO things till just a couple hours ago and can I just say there are some CLAAAAAASSY folks at the all-night pharmacy at night?

My FAVORITE was a group of 3 friends all with free trial cards to pay for their 3 matching prescriptions of birth control. They were all about 20 at most. It was a total Social event! "Hey lets all go to the doctor together so we can have sex at the same time! Sweet!" But the cards weren't working and they were swearing up a storm. It was pretty hilarious.

However, not quite so hilarious is that I ended up spending $301.85 there on meds.

See, back before I got my job at I was trying desperately to get someone to give me insurance as I was going to no longer be covered by the Padres'. I wasn't diagnosed Diabetic yet, but was pretty sure I was going to be and didn't WANT to be until after I got insurance. I have enough preexisting conditions to scare off ANYONE, I didn't want to add anything new to the mix (little did I know Diabetes was just the tip of the iceberg. Grrrr...).

I ended up with the only one that would accept me, the very unhelpful Altius. It was looking pretty grim. HOWEVER, then I got the job at MyFamily. I started out basically hijacking service calls from AOL (HATE THEM) and trying to sell genealogy. It was horrible. BUT then, things changed. I got promoted to the be on a service team. It was good. I felt like we were actually HELPING people rather than pretending to help them in order to sell things to them. And, they also gave me a really REALLY good insurance plan. Like THE BEST. It was going good. Really good.

Not surprisingly, when a new CEO came and there were all those lay offs, our team, one of the only GOOD things left, was scrapped.

Ended up being a blessing, in a way, though. I hated losing that job but things with the new CEO were going downhill FAST any way and then I got very sick and and was going to have to quit soon. Had I done that, or been fired, I would have lost my benefits. Benefits that have lasted me a year, and helped me pay for such insanities as my gall bladder surgery, my sleep test for the apnea, ETCETERA.

However, nothing is that simple, is it? Suddenly somebody discovered each other. It's not like it was a secret. I LIST both. But SelectHealth found out they were not the first one I OWNED and said that ALTIUS has to be my Primary and they my secondary, not the other way around. We told them I didn't USE Altius, it was just a back up. They said we weren't allowed to PICK our primary. CRAP. So suddenely they stary deinying things retroactively... sending stuff to Altius, so that Altius can deny them and send them BACK to them! IT IS SO FRUSTRATING.

Like most of adulthood.

After another pharmacy battle I got in the car and cried, though as much for BEING the type od person who NEEDS that many meds to stay alive and stuff as for having to pay for them.

When's that resurrection thing happening anyway? Because I am getting a little antsy for an upgrade. SIGH.

However, there are other insurance matters to worry about as well... I mean, think about it. At least they won't steal my 300 dollar medication for fuel.

p.s. that happens to be a favorite of my bro and I. OH GOOD GORDON BUT I MISS HIM! He is, with out a doubt, one of the funniest little brothers ever. And I loved his last letter about the FHE... FLIRTING Home Evening. It's good to know boys are still idiots in the church, even in Italy, huh?

Oh hey fam! Greetings from Cuneo. Sorry that the letter is a little late. Yesterday was 15 Agosto. In otherwords, the only day of the year when even the Internet points are closed. The city and Italy was basically dead so it was our twice a year deep cleaning day. We had a huge ward activity in the mountains and after we came back and spent the night cleaning. So today, our nice friendly library internet is closed and the only place that is open is a little shadey. So I am basically keeping my eyes focused on the keyboard to protect my innocent little brain. yikes!

So, this week...I did some stuff. It was a little different. A lot of our investigators are going on vacation the Streets! We have been teaching a lot on the street lately trying to find new investigators. We have taught a lot of lessons but its been a hard week getting phone numbers. These weeks have been interesting. Anziano Gibson has a lot of theories. Most of them I dont agree with, but I am learing something. With Anziano Shanchy we were getting a little number happy. We were forgetting that behind each lesson we taught their was a person that needed to feel the love of God. Anziano Gibson is SO anti numbers, he thinks that they are just used to impress the Zone Leaders. I disagree but I have focused more on helping the person...not just trying to teach them a street lesson. I think it has helped.

Some of the highlights this week. The funniest FHE ever! We were invited to the Young Single Adults FHE on Friday. It was a fun night with kids our age, but it was pretty obvious that we werent one of them. Watching them hangout and flirt was kind of funny, and it made me grateful that I dont have to worry about those things right now. One member Mirko, is very nice but so over the top. He is also in love with one of our new converts, Elisa. I almost died as he gave the spiritual thought. He dimmed the light and gave a talk on Love. His first words were "love does not just mean a man and a woman" (looking at Elisa) it is more. He then had us (we were dying) hand out and light candles in the darkened room. While he turned on the Love song from "A walk to remember". After lighting all the candles he pointed out that "when we have love it can lighten a darkened room," while Mandy Moore Sang "to be only yours I pray" It was....touching. Who said missions arent really funny. It was a good evening that we got to introduce the church to a friend of Elisa, and Niomi. He is interested in hearing more!

Whoof, I am out of I do this quick.

Monday night we all took the train to Torino for a sleep over with the Zone Leaders! We had Zone conference the next morning so it was a fun chance to learn from others. I loved teaching and just talking with Anziano Valente and Aylett. They are good leaders, (Anziano Gibson thinks they are number driven) and I hope to learn as much as I can from them.

Tuesday, was Zone conference, and it was good. It was about planning and I needed the lesson. We got some great tips that will help me be more organized and use my time a lot better. I also got to teach on the train with Anziano Valente. It was fun, and we spoke to a man from the Phillipines, so he spoke English. It was funny how hard it was for me to teach in my own language! I kept trying to say things in italian.

Wed We had a huge ward activity in the Mountains that was a lot of fun. There was a big river, and everyone (but the missionaries) went cliff jumping. I didnt get wet but I got a lot of pictures.

Ok, I best be going, in the words of my mother I love your stinkin guts!
(= io Amo le vostre poncio che putzono!)

p.p.s even though he still can't spell, a word about my bro's grammar. The keyboards at those places don't have apostrophes. So he is excused those.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

What Up, HOMIE?

1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?
not counting shampoos and conditioners...
SoftSoap Antibacterial hand soap
Body Balance Vanilla Body Scrub
Dove for Sensitive Skin
St. Ives -Purity (yes, apparently they bottle VALUES and I rub them on myself with a puff thing. weird.)
St. Ives - Energize

2. Do you have any watermelon in your fridge?
Actually, I DID have some yesterday. But I ate it today.

3. Is there anything moldy in your refrigerator?
I don't think so.
4. Are there any dirty dishes in your sink?
a FEW, but there is at least soap in them. MOST are in the dishwasher.
5. What would you change about your living room?
A better CD shelf, a better coffee table... basically if we had all new furniture, that would rock.

6. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?

7. Do you have a can of mushrooms in your pantry?
The Roomie might. She probably DOES. I sure don't. BLECK.

8. White or wheat bread?
Wheat with thingies in it... like whole grain crunchies...
9. What is on top of your refrigerator?
a bowl of some HORRIBLE flax cracker things The Roomie made, ice cube trays, paper plates, and phone books.
10. What color is your sofa?
Umm... green and blue and "cranberry" in a "southwestern"-type print
11. What color or design is on your shower curtain?
a blue plastic liner with a white with rubber duckies cloth one

12. How many plants are in your home? least 18, not counting bamboo?

13. How many candles are in your home?
not all are being used, but at least 30 counting little tea lights on standy things.

14. Is your bed made right now?

15. If you have a coffee pot, what color is it?
I don't. I have a few little tea bots, but the only "real" one is just white
16. Electric or standard can opener?
ELECTRIC. I am way too lazy to crank like that.

27. Comet or Soft Scrub?

28. Is your closet organized?
unlike the rest of my house, yes, it is mostly.
29. What color is the flashlight that you use the most?
a giant yellow one

30. What kinds of things are in your junk drawer?
31. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?
glass... if I even USE a cup. I use bottles/jugs a lot.
32. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
nope, because I do NOT like in Texas anymore!

33. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
No garage, just a carport. But if I had one, pretty sure it would be cluttered.

34. Curtains or blinds?
blinds most everywhere, though I DO have a Texas flag on my window in my room pretending to be a curtain.

35. How many pillows do you sleep with?

36. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?
Not in my room, but I have a night light in the bathroom.
37. How many ceiling fans are in your home?
none. Just a lot of table fans and stuff that I sit in front of constantly.

38. How often do you vacuum?
Depends on the room. Glider room is weekly. The other rooms, umm, not so much.

39. Standard toothbrush or electric?
Standard... hee hee... sounds like it's a car. "yeah, I brush a stick." Okay, maybe I'm a little punchy after a bad day.
40. What color is your toothbrush?
Purple and white!

41. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
42. What is in your oven right now?
Some tinfoil and the grate things that the oven comes with! Who do you think I am, Betty Crocker?
43. Is your microwave clean or dirty?
clean. Not pretty sparkley, but clean.

44. Is there anything under your bed?
bins that hold my clothes.

45. Chore you hate doing the most?
organizing the family room. It is just. too. much.

And anything with chemicals that make me itch.

46. What retro items are in your home?
we could call MOST of the things in our house "retro" if we wanted... as pretty much everything is from garage sales. hee hee!

47. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
Sort of. It's really more of a library, but SORT OF an office, too!

48. If you have a yard, who mows it?
Me or The Roomie mow our little bitty yard with a weedwhacker.

49. Is there anything on your kitchen floor right now?
a little rug by the sink?

50. How many mirrors are in your home?
Umm, 4, unless you count hand mirrors in drawers or something

51. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?
Yes, for one thing I always keep a large bill inside a favorite stuffed animal, just like on the Rescuers.

52. What color are your walls?
off white... which is worse than white. <--- ditto, except my bathroom which is, like puked up olive green which is worse than either.

53. Which rooms in your house have wallpaper?

NONE in THIS house, thank goodness. My last house was, like, crazy with in. A*Who, dude, I sometimes miss the randomonium! And CC, I LOVE your wallporn!!!

54. Do you have a peephole in your front door?
I... I actually realized I DON'T KNOW! We rarely use the front door and I am not going to check right now. How funny.

55. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your house?
I need to FIND my mace. (pepper spray... not a big spiked club), I have a knife in my car, and apparently when threatened in my home by zombie balloons I chuck empty jugs at them.

56. What does your home smell like right now?
a little like soup?

57. Fave candle scent?
vanilla... or orange chocolate... or spice something...

58. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?
I like bread and butter ones okay, but I don't have any. But the Roomie may have mini gherkins? However, to be honest all I can think when I read this is LINK UP. But only some people would get why.

59. Who are in the pictures you displayed?
Rosie the Riveter. My sugar gliders. Super Man. Christ. Megan. One of my Fam.

60. What color is your favorite bible?
Dark green. (cover)

61. Do you have plenty of cabinet space in your kitchen?
Maybe if we used it better, but NO.

62. Ever been on your roof?
no, but my dad/landie has.

62. Do you own a stereo?

63. How many tvs do you have?
2. A big one and a little one.

64. How many house phones?
3, but we don't use them.

65. Do you have a housekeeper?

66. What style do you decorate in?
Random. Very VERY random. But my room is mostly Rosie the Riveter and Superman and Texas, so, like Red White Blue and Yellow.

67. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?
Both! Mix it up!

68. Is there a smoke detector in your home?
actually, we were just discussing this. No. We need to get some. We have a carbon monoxide detector and filter our water but not a single FIRE ALARM?!

68. In case of fire, what are the items you would grab if you only could make one quick trip?
my gliders, my computer, and my purse (which would have my phone and money in it. But mostly my pets

69. Do you know how to work your electrical box?
Like as in the fuse box? If so, yes.

70. What temperature in your home is most comfortable to you?
JUST me and not The Roomie? 70 degrees. ALATIME!

would you like some cheese with my whine?


I am feeling a little better (physically), though, at least, thanks to a WHOLE lot of Lemon Theraflu and books (finished Eclipse last night. Good book, but now I am needing the NEXT and THIS one just came out. SIGH.) and a fair amount of feeling doped up and exhausted all the time... oh and waisting a lot of time goofing around on Gaia.

As for... the boy... I don't know if I said the right thing.

Hey [Fresno],

I will have to see that movie. It sounded interesting (And I like Beatrix Potter).

I want to be able to talk and be friends. I have missed that, a lot. But I am still having a hard time with it all and it still just hurts to get emails from you. It takes a lot for me to fall for somebody, you know?

I hope I will get to that time, I just don't know how long it will be. For now, I don't think I can. I am not over you yet.



I *just* sent it, like 20 seconds ago, so I am already questioning. I mean, I have thought about it a lot. And prayed, too. I basically prayed "I am going to tell him I can't talk to him. If I am wrong please tell me!" I got nothing... so... hopefully I am not being stupid.

My heart hurts so much right now.

The doctor told me not to work this week, but I can't get out of tomorrow, it's SCOUTS. But at least it will be something not in the house and, in theory, not related to Fresno. Thinking about him hurts and he pops into my thoughts ALL THE TIME. It is NOT fair.

Anyway, I will write more later. I need to lay down again. BLEH.

Well, it's later. I don't feel better.

I am coughing more. I am DREADING the early morning the begins with boy scouts. And I am sick over Fresno, but not even sick like "oh I should have said" because if I WAS I would write again. I am no closer to the "right" thing to say than before. I just know I wish we hadn't ever met if this is how my life was going to feel from now on.

Goodnight. I am going to feed the babies and take more gaggy lemonade so I might sleep.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


Just got back from the doctor (waste of time. It's just a really bad cold.). I have not yet responded to Fresno's Buddy Email, but will today, I suppose. Bleh. In other news I got a good email from one of my best guy friends, Gilch, and that was nice. I have missed him. He's like my brother.

Anyway, a quiz (from Stewie)

1) Harry begins Hogwarts and is sorted into a house. Which house do you think you would be sorted in? Gryffindor = Brave Ravenclaw = Smart Hufflepuff = Loyal/hardworking Slytherin = Sly, looking for the easy way

I would say Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff even though I guess we would ALL love to say Gryffindor. But this test was pretty dang detailed and it put me in Hufflepuff


Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot, and treat them just the same."

Hufflepuff students are friendly, fair-minded, modest, and hard-working. A well-known member was Cedric Digory, who represented Hogwarts in the most recent Triwizard Tournament.

Gryffindor 74
Ravenclaw 80
Hufflepuff 89
Slytherin 57

2) The Mirror of Erised, instead of showing a reflection, shows what the subjec
t wants more than anything. What would the Mirror show you?

It's me, but I am thinner and healthy (diabetes and depression free, etc.)! Also, my house is organized and clean.

3) In The Chamber of Secrets, Harry’s new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is a celebrity with an overdeveloped case of ego. Which current celebrity do you think is overblown?

Almost all of them. I have very little respect for celebrity in general. But, yeah, probably Tom Cruise or most boy band boys.

4) Harry calls Fawkes (Dumbledore’s phoenix) to him by exhibiting loyalty. What non-family member would be able to call your phoenix?


5) In The Prisoner of Azkaban we first see a Boggart, which takes the form of whatever the person fears. What would your boggart turn into?

A Doctor or Dentist with a needle, probably.

6) Harry is able to fight off dementors by using a patronus charm which calls upon a very happy memory. What would your happy moment be?

my sugar gliders chirping in my ear happily... a glider probably would BE my patronus, too.

7) In The Goblet Of Fire Fred and George try to put their names in the goblet even though they are not old enough. What “mature” activity did you try too early?

I have actually been SLOW on most things like that. Granted, I tried to build a space shuttle in kindergarten and such, but nothing REAL. I am a slow mover.

8)In The Order of the Phoenix Harry discusses what he wants to be when he gets out of school. What did you want to be when you were 15?

A teacher. <---Me too, actually. 9) The kids take their defense against the dark arts in a room of requirement where the room becomes whatever you need. What would your personal room of requirement be–when would it appear?

Right now, I think it's just a storage room. A HUGE room with lots of shelves and house elves to help me put things in order.

After that's DONE it would become the glider room of my dreams. giant cages, rain forest murals on the walls, vines and rope lights from the ceiling, washable walls, drain in the floor and a heated hose so I could wash cages right in the room. A fridge and freezer and food prep area right there, with a mealworm and cricket farm.

10) In the Half-Blood Prince we are exposed to Felix Felicitas, a potion that will make you have a wonderful wonderful day. Tell us about a day that you would like to live over again–a wonderful day.
I don't know. I don't think I would like reliving a good day knowing how it ends. :O(



E . . .

11) In the Deathly Hallows, Hermione blanks her parents' memory of her existence. Is this something you would do to protect those you loved?


12) We find that Dumbledore entrusted Snape to kill him. Do you have anyone that you would trust enough to kill you if you asked them to?

Honestly, I don't think I trust the people that love me to kill me if I asked. I think they'd balk at the last second. I'd rather ask someone who DOESN'T like me, that might get some pleasure out of it. Trust them more for it, you know. Sean from work seems a logical choice.

13) Many beloved characters do not make it to the end of the book. What fictional characters' deaths affected you (besides the ones in Harry Potter)?

I get very very very into books. I almost NEVER cry at movies but I bawled when someone died in books I loved like:

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

The Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail C. Levine

The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale

and The Giver by Lois Lowry.

DANGBUT I love books!

Monday, August 13, 2007

clay head

I could feel myself getting a bad cold yesterday, but today I woke up feeling like my head was full of clay. I *hate* being sick.

So, I am taking meds, watching stupid TV, reading the Third Twilight book, Eclipse, and trying to decide what kind of letter to write back to Fresno.

Hey Fresno,

I want to be able to talk and be friends. I have missed that. But I am still having a hard time with it all and it still just hurts to get emails from you. I hope I will get to that time, I just don't know how long it will be, you know? Anyway, yeah.



Dear Fresno,

I am sorry but I can't handle being one of the guys this time. Talk about movies with your roomie.




I am glad you are over us, but you have someone else. Let's not try the friend thing until you mean as little to me as I do to you.



Sorry, I may not be able to write back for awhile. There is a hurricane.


Dear Fresno,

Yeah, I wanted to see that movie, too. Was it any good?



I hate relationships so very very much.

p.s. this is my 300th entry in the blog. I think I talk too much.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

You've Got Male? <:O(

So today at church they talked about how to choose who to marry.

I didn't even finish the meeting. I just left.

How long before I am... well, not NORMAL, but as normal as I was before Fresno? When will I be able to listen to the radio, go to a family reunion, watch a movie, go to a party, see a commercial, etc. without thinking about him?

And then, a few hours ago, I got an email. It was a nothing email. But it was from him.

It is the first thing from him since breaking up. It was just a "hey have you heard of this movie?" type of email and I am sure he thought it was totally fine.

But I don't feel fine.

I don't know if I am mature enough... and OVER him enough... to be friends. Chit-chat about movies and stuff. But on the other hand I am desperate to do just that. Talk to him, about anything or nothing.

But how can I keep it that way in MY head and heart? How can I not want more? How can I keep silly innocuous notes from shredding my heart over and over again?

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Happy birthday Dear dear dear dear dear Padre (See? 5 Deers! HA!)

This is going to be a very illustrated entry because I was a little camera happy yesterday.

Remember how Padre's side had THEIR family reunion a while ago? Well, this month it was Mom's side's turn! However, it was also Padre's birthday yesterday. So, basically, a whole lotta family. So I went over, first to the Padre's before we were to go to the Asian Buffet, Padre's favorite place where we go for EVERY birthday, whether the birthday person wants it or not!

It's tradition... or whatever. Anyway, I actually LIKE the Asian, so I am good with it. Rinny is the only one who does not, but she's not so much a fan of FOOD so, yeah.

Anyway, I went to the Padre's and checked on our deer. ALL 4 TWINS were out there! Only GrayNeck, though, the mother of the 2 older set (including the one that has a bad leg who I call Fred), was with the babies. Anastasia/SkinnyMom is a MEAN little doe. I watched her brutally attack Fred because he got too close to her. Those 4 are all such good friends. They are always together, but the moms get annoyed. But SkinnyMom was just MEAN... really hurt Fred, badly. But GrayNeck, even she gets annoyed when (because SkinnyMom isn't as attentive to the feeding of her twins as GrayNeck is) the OTHER twins try to nurse off her too! But at least she just shoos them, instead of crippling them. (Sorry, I am still pissed at SkinnyMom.)
This is Fred only 2 weeks ago...
And with his twin (either George or Hope, depending on the sex, really, but basically GN's other twin)...
And look at him now, he is getting so big! In just 2 weeks!

Maybe eventually he will grow into his EARS.

Anyway, then we went to dinner for dad. So dinner was good... and kind of interesting, too! Because we were next to a table of all deaf guys and so I was doing some major eaves dropping on their signing and it was reminding me I should practice more.*

*meaning, ummm, at ALL. Yeah. I suck.

We got to the park in Centerville and then it was just random kid craziness. My cousin, the Zoobies, Jamie and her husband the Inventor have a ton of kiddlets. Me and Rinny used to be their regular sitters. The oldest ones grew up with us. And now they are just SO OLD! The funny thing is that "BabySarah", who is not a baby, nor the youngest anymore, just can NOT remember us, I am SURE! Because I stopped tending so much before BabySarah was even born. I think maybe a few times, but she was an infant.
Stephen and Hailey know us... Even Tristen was too little. However, BabySarah has decided that she not only remembers me but LOVES ME TO BITS. I am suddenly her favorite cousin. It is so random. She is a cutey, though.

Here she is, with the next youngest of the Zoobie brood, telling me about catching water skeeters.
What was SUPER funny, though, was when Rinny was laying on the grass (talking to Potato Head, one of her boys) and Caleb (T-La's #2), UNCOACHED walked up to her and said "Stay right there, okay?" and then found a balloon that was going to be used for a game and about dropped it right on her head with his perfect wicked giggle. IT WAS AWESOME. She seriously screamed and I was overjoyed to capture the moment of evil baby prowess on camera.
Well, that just got all 3 of T-La's boys involved, which was pretty adorable and funny (that being the 2 most perfect descriptions OF T-La's boys, along with "TROUBLE") and totally Slide Show-able!

But there really are other kids in the world besides T-La's. Because ALL of my cousins but me and MY sybs pop out kids like Pez. And all of my Aunts and Uncles (except Shy, obviously) have children. Plus, there are Dogs. hee hee!

Okay, and I swear Sandy looks EXACTLY the same as her daughter EXACTLY. She also just had another baby, a very tiny boy, just this month. I'm not even sure SHE knows who his dad is, though. She is not, what you would call STABLE.

And then there was the TALENT SHOW. That's right, our family had a talent show. Most was pretty painful to watch, some was actually really impressive. One of my cousin's kids is a CONTORTIONIST! AWESOME! I didn't get any pictures of that, though. Or about 5 separate teenage girls looking like they belong on a pole during their dances (with various aunts and uncles exchanging very stressed out looks). But here are a few highlights!

Anyway, other than that, we had a little program about Grandma and remembered her. We also talked about Grandpa and other memories. AND all of Grandma's kids and grandkids got a binder with little genealogy things, old letters, and a CD of old pictures! AND a coin from grandpa's collection.

I actually COLLECT coins and so that was super exciting to me. I like having a connection with Grandpa. I was young when he died. It is a 1954 half-dollar. That is the year my mom was born. It's not really WORTH anything... about 3-4 dollars... but it meant a lot to me.

Some not so swell things about the reunion...

Megs and Jake did not come. I called and called Megs. She isn't answering right now. I know the feeling. I really understand not coming either.
But I miss her so much.
And I wanted so badly to see her.

Seeing Carson... and Reagan... with no Brady in between just really made it hard not to think about losing him on 9-11. It just felt so sad and weird. Grandma too. To not have her here. I mean, I know they are there in spirit and all that, but it felt... lonely.

And being lonely about THAT made me lonely about other... non-family people... who wouldn't have been there anyway, but...
maybe someday would have.
You know?

Yeah. Sometimes things suck. BUT IN GENERAL, it was a good-ish reunion.

Also Aunt Clare kind of roped me into helping her teach some sign to her class in church next weekend. I am actually a little terrified. But I was won over, mostly, because she said "and after the meeting Megs and Jake will come over and we can all eat together." So I said yes and I better get practicing, even if it IS just for kids.