Sunday, April 29, 2007

yeah, you know number 25 of the TMI Quiz?

(well, it's not about T-La, Aunt O, Uncle Rude, or Uncle MikeLestor. GRRR...)

I'm at the padres' house with Rinny and that would be just spiffy except I am in a rather emo mood and Padre is here and it is just one of those days when I wish he lived in Florida or something. YES, in these days of rampant divorce, it is a blessing to have happily married parents MOST OF THE TIME. Except that it means sometimes I just want to talk to MOM and PADRE is THERE. And so, because apparently we can not be in the same room before getting in some little fight I end up
almost crying and wanting badly to hit things and he just goes off to watch TV and talk self-righteously about me to my mom later even though I can still hear so my MOM ends up almost crying, too, though she probably doesn't want to hit things. Because she is much nicer than me.

annoyed pissed ticked perturbed agitated bugged bothered ruffled pestered irritated bitching kvetching malcontented vexed miffed peeved

Some Sundays I think if I hear "Families Can Be Together Forever" I will jump up and scream "NOOOOO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!" It's one of those Sundays.

Not all has been bad, though. Today is My Megan's Birthday! YAY! Since she is basically one of my fa
vorite people in the world Rinny and I decided we would drive up to Salt Lake and surprise her (risky as I wasn't SURE of her schedule and she could be at work or out to eat for a special birthday thing with her Hubby, St. Jake or hey, even just running errands and stuff at the store (she isn't active in the LDS Church and St. Jake is Catholic and I don't think they consider shopping sabbath-breaking).) with presents and singing!

(By the way, I DID go to church, though not my own ward and not for the whole 3 hours)

So after church Rinny picked me up at my house (and I tripped on a baby gate on the way out. OUCH. Suzy has been very good at peeing only either outside or on a puppy pad so she has graduated to the KITCHEN! But not the rest of the house, so she is gated into the kitchen. And thus, I tripped on it.) and we drove to Meg and St. Jake's little tiny apartment.
They are moving OUT of it VERY SOON! They closed on buying their own little (same scary neighborhood, but at least they will OWN it so they can, like, play Design on a Dime and stuff) condo place! It is still pretty ghetto... but they can't afford much and just desperately wanted OUT and wanted to OWN. So, my birthday pressies to her were on that whole theme. I gave her new paint brushes (for wall, not pictures), a potted plant kit, a couple little tools, a purple paper Chinese lantern, etc. Rinny made her a Teen Girl Squad plate like mine and a picture of President Hinckley in a Fedora like mine (not sure how THAT will go over once we left, since, you know, the whole religion issue. But it is still a cool pic (and she is, after all, a fellow brilliant photographer.) and she SEEMED to really like it. We also buried Monet (one of her cats) in crepe paper and that was fun (her other kitty, Pixie, wanted nothing to do with that sort of nonsense.).

Then we went to the padres' because 1. they have food. 2. we thought they might have a new letter from BoyKid 3. we planned to put our pictures onto the computer there, then onto the laptop then onto HIS card to when we sent it to him to USE he could see our crazines
s and 4. I wanted to let Mom and Rinny here Mika songs.

Instead, however, and honestly, I am still not sure how, I ended up in a fight with Padre about the direction of my life. And when I was trying to show Rinny and Mom the Mika stuff he told me to turn it off. Rinny asked, "why?" and I said, icily, "because I am not allowed to listen to my music at their house apparently." And he got really mad sounding and said "that's my point, it's YOUR music and nobody else wants to hear what you like!" I said the whole reason I was playing it WAS to show Mom and Rinny and he said "
Stifle it." and did a little chop his head off move and I was thinking "please, don't tease, GO AHEAD."

Yes, I am pissy. Sorry. Blame it on restarting birth control if you want, but I doubt it has much to do with that yet... just, you know, DAD-ness plus depression.

So, yeah. Family fun. ;OP

And now I am home again. Man, my turtle is getting big. Not, like, since I have seen him (this morning)... I am just sitting next to his tank and noticing. He is MASSIVE! I am thinking he will be graduating into my big fish tank soon... which means I will be finding my fishies new homes, most of them anyway. That makes me a little sad. I mean, I know they are just fish, but still... I LIKE them. However, if I have to choose between my turtle and my fish, My shell-baby wins.

Oh, I forgot. Fresno did call while I was at the Padres. We talked just a little but he hurt his back and he was on Percocet so the convo was more than a little loopy. So I wasn't TOO annoyed with Padre when he said to hang up because it was dinner. Well, THEN, anyway. The annoyance grew when it was a crock and we didn't REALLY eat for, like, another half hour and THEN the whole fight... and music thing... grrrr....

Sometimes when Fresno talks about how much he is like my dad I want to kick him. But usually I just say "Oh, guess what does NOT make me excited to date you?" And he giggles and shuts up. Sometimes when he talks like that I tell him "Thank you Freud, I'd prefer NO Oedipal issues!" Dork. (But a CUTE dork.)

So I have been having way too much fun making lists of things I want at Kaboodle! Not that I NEED stuff. Like banana cell phone holders. And band-aids shaped like bacon. And chocolate-looking calculators. I just, yeah... like virtual window shopping.

Saturday, April 28, 2007


TMI Survey (from Stewie)

1. Sex is best in the morning, afternoon, or night? I don't know yet.
2. What side of the bed do you sleep on? I move a lot. And plus also, I don't share a bed. When I DO have to (like with my sister or cousins at a hotel or something) I just call whatever side has a nightstand. I wear glasses, you know.
3. Pork, Beef, or Chicken? I don't really like beef. Sometimes I like chicken. I like the kind of pork in Cafe Rio salads. I am not a meat person, typically anyway. Though I feel like a carnivore at home with my roomie since she's vegetarian.
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke? Yeah. Bleh.
5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on? To be honest, I think it varies. Whichever way feels the least like I will fall over from. And sometimes that changes.
6. Candles or Incense? Depends on the scent of either. Both have equal capacity to either sooth me or give me a headache, depending.
7. Do you dance when no one is watching? Yes. And ONLY then.
8. Did you play doctor when you were little? Yes. I mean, I played doctor... but I don't remember actually playing doctor, you know? I don't know.
9. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? Nooo... but is anyone offering?
10. Stove top cooking or microwave? If *I* am doing it? Microwave. If someone else is? Then most things taste better from the stove of oven.
11. Would you rather want your car or your house be dirty? The car. That way at least it is only ME being constantly inconvenienced. Also the car is an easier job to tackle over and over and over than my ever cluttered house.
12. Shower or bath? Shower for cleaning bath for reading and relaxing.
13. Do you pee in the shower? I *have* but just when I was TOLD to for a UTI.
14. Mexican or Chinese food? Chinese!!!
15. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? IDKY!
16. Do you own sex toys? I wouldn't call anything down there FUN yet.
17. Corn Dogs or Hot Dogs? I really don't like the ORDER of these questions. Disturbing!
18. Your favorite restaurant? Maybe Macaroni Grill or any good Chinese place or, like, Kneaders.
19. What did you have for lunch today? some eggs and toast and milk.
20. Which do you prefer, iceberg or romaine lettuce? I HATE Iceberg. I mostly just like spinach. But romaine hearts are good for wannabe lettuce wraps.
21. When did you last fall down? Hello, I'm ME. So, like, probably last week?
22. Have you ever wished someone were dead? Yes. But I have never acted on it.
23. Love or Money? I should say Love. But money is much less THREATENING. Still, probably love.
24. Credit Cards or cash? If I didn't have to actually PAY BACK the cards, I would so vote plastic because then I don't have to COUNT! But since I *do* have to pay them back, CASH, definitely.
25. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't? Yes. USUALLY I want them back the next week after I've cooled down (like in the case of Padre or Aunt O or T-La), but not always. And some (like Padre's Bro Uncle Rude or Mom's BiL Uncle MikeLestor) I would be just plenty pleased if they fell in a hole and never climbed out.
26. Oreos or Vanilla Wafers? Oreo. I want some RIGHT NOW! If they had, like, fat-free sugar-free ones... that tasted the same... that magically appeared in my cupboard right now. ACTUALLY, if they existed they wouldn't have to appear. I'd go buy them right now.
27. How do you like your steak cooked? By someone else, FOR someone else. I don't like steak.
28. How do you like your eggs cooked? Over hard. NOTHING runny. BLEH. Eeew.
29. Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in fight? Not, like punching then and knocking them out, but I have pushed them to the ground, yeah.

30. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel? Mostly
camping. Until actual time to sleep, because, well, beds are better for my back, but in terms of before and after I LOVE camping!

31. Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery? surgery. i have extra nerves in my mouth and they *never* get me numb. <--- ME TOO! Weird! Anyway, at least with a major surgery you would be presumably ASLEEP during it and root canals I am awake and super stressed.
32. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)? Why?
33. Would you rather have lice or an STD? LICE.

34. What is your favorite hard candy? I am a HUGE fan of Werther's and Creme Savers because both of them have a sugar free version that tastes just the same!
35. Ever been to a strip club? No
36. Ever been to a bar? yes, but not to drink.
37. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? Well, we had to leave that one place that we were getting Garlic Burgers because the "LifeExperience" girl didn't remember to bring her dang LICENSE. I mean, that wasn't really ME getting kicked out, but we were nice and didn't make her eat in the car by herself.
38. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere? Nope.
39. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Not unless you count, like, kissing babies on the forehead or little cousins on the cheek (For the record I do not believe in kissing children on the mouth, not even your own kids. I mean, some people would disagree and I am not saying I would think THEY were bad for doing so, I just think it is... unwise. I think it makes your child more of a target for sexual predators. Too hard for them to know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate affectionate touching.)
40. Thrown up from drinking too much? Yes... but not alcohol. hee hee!
41. Have you ever kissed a stranger? Not on the lips. I had to randomly kiss cheeks with the older Latina ladies on my mission. Which was weird enough, really.
42. Does anyone have naughty pics of you? Not NAUGHTY, No. Heck, not even *I* have naughty pics of me. There are plenty of EMBARRASSING shots out there of me though. *grumble grumble*

Chores the Right

I wanted to go to the Baby Animal Birthday today, but the fact is that as I am not WORKING then, well, I have a ton to do here. (None of which actually include Blogging... hmmmm...)
*Clean the gerbil cage
*Clean the sugar glider cage and launder the toys
*Walk Trinket and Shasta (The Roomie is out of town and I am Dog-Sitting)
*Walk Suzy Sparrow (separately)
*Feed Suzy (special diet that The Roomie made before leaving)
*Try to erode Mount Washmore
*Wash turtle tank
*Replace water for big community fish tank
*Errands (bleh. Bank, Hollywood (parent's lent me a borrowed movie, Night at the Museum. It was every good! Like, even if you HATE Ben Stiller, you would think it was a cute family flick.), gas station, etc.)
*Make a noticeable dent in the disaster area that is our FAMILY ROOM.
*Take out garbages
*Take meds
*Probably 20 other things that I will realize as I clean, thus the never ending cycle of frustration. Grrr.

And with that, for now, I will post and GET TO WORK!

Thursday, April 26, 2007


One of the things that ticks me off the most about Depression is that nagging feeling that "I SHOULD be happy!" Not even a wistful "I wish I WAS happy", but more of a "Shame on you, Self! You suck! How dare you not be happy?!" Does it make sense? No. But even knowing it doesn't make sense doesn't change the thoughts in my defective gray matter.

That's not QUITE true. Sometimes it DOES help to list reasons why you should be happy ("...Count your many blessings, name them one by one...") especially if I can manage to stave of the nagging doubt monster in there saying things like "yeah, but that's temporary" or "yeah, but is that fair to him?" or "they won't be your friends for forever, you know...".

*kicks doubt monster*

Happy reasons like an almost obsessively supportive mother, a nice roommate, a smart, super spiritual, hilarious brother who sometimes even writes me letters, a job that works with my schedule of doctors and insomnia and where most of the time I not only LIKE my boss but love her like... well... a SISTER, a boyfriend who calls me and makes me feel beautiful when I feel my ugliest and funny when I feel my shyest, a dad who will pay medical bills that exceed my means, sugar gliders who chirp and bark when they hear me coming and then run all over me and make me feel like a well loved jungle gym and a mommy at the same time, a job where I get to work with more animals than I could ever OWN and even see them born before my eyes, a good Bishop who knows I am trying to be closer to the Lord, a God who's plan is so full of grace that repentance and working as hard as I can CAN be enough, no matter how much that really is, an extension of my insurance plan through after the lay-off to NOVEMBER not May, living in a time period with amazing science to do the medical stuff I keep finding myself in need of, a vehicle that runs the majority of the time and that has 4-wheel drive so I can occasionally go off on adventures when I get too stressed, and the feel of water around my sore body as I do water aerobics and physical therapy. Yep, a LOT. :O)

Now if I can manage to cling to those awhile this time. Hmmm...

I *do* believe that psychotherapy can help me. I know it is a good thing. I have been before. But it still means shaking fears of talking to authority types with out clamming up once I am in the office, and not being embarrassed when I cry in front of people. It is feeling weak sometimes. It is feeling out of control sometimes.

But then, so is Depression, itself, and it has no rewards.


I am beginning to feel like a lab rat again. Monday it was the Shrink. Wednesday, it was my new OBGYN. (And thus, the following may be TMI. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!) If there is any doctor worse than the Girlie Doc, I don't want to know about it. For me anyway. He was really nice, but looked about 12 years old. When he left the room (to have me change into one of those oh-so-special table cloth-like skirt thingies.) my mom says to me "Doogie Howser. What is he, 10?" Hee hee hee! Anyway, he seems like a good doctor anyway. But I hate going. The first thing is just to get back on birth control so I start having periods again. Not that I love that idea, but I know I need to to avoid, like, uterine cancer or whatever. And the only reason they had me go OFF the pill was because it was raising my blood pressure, but I have got that pretty much under my control with diet and exercise now. And so, yeah, I need to be having them again.

The other reasons I am going to Doogie are because I 1.) want to eliminate hormones and thyroid as the main issue with my hair loss and other annoyance issues and 2.) am going to need, like, surgery or something on my nether regions. NOT excited about that. *whimpers* But before THAT happens we are going to try some hormone stuff. And I went to the hospital to get about EVERYTHING possible tested. They took vial after vial of my blood. They better figure things out. Because if I went through all that for a "well, everything LOOKS fine..." I will scream. SIGH.

I'm not the only one getting a battery of tests in the future, though. The new dog will be going in for a ton of them on Tuesday so The Roomie can decide how to proceed (and try to find some sort of sponsor as this is going to get PRICEY). She has a name now, though. The roomie named her Suzy Sparrow. Not because she is a pirate, but because she reminds her of a lost and wounded little bird.

However, while she has scary things ahead of her, she is doing SO GOOD so far, considering. She is tolerating food well, and already seems to LIKE being petted as long as she sees your hand coming and isn't surprised! She's also gone from acting like a wild creature being attacked by something when we tried to put a collar on her to ignoring it like a regular dog. Yay! And already you can see a MAJOR change in behavior. Like when we come to the door of the bathroom where she has to stay for now, she used to tremble and pee when she saw us. But now I think she knows we are different than those people she knew before. She now looks up, instead of down sometimes. And best of all she almost wags her tail.

I still don't think Suzy has a very long life ahead of her. But what time she does have will be better than her time before us. THAT we can promise to her.

Now it is later and I need to be in bed. But I wanted to end with a few little things that have made me smile the past few days (mostly because they are very ME)...

Monday, April 23, 2007

Shrink Rap

Well, the Psych says I need therapy. I know, shocker. He was REALLY nice and cool, but he can't take me as a real patient anyway. But he said he will help me find someone that can see me. SIGH. It was... hard, though. I don't like saying some things out loud if that makes sense. And I cried and I hate doing that in front of doctors and stuff.

I have "homework" for the Insomnia study but it is really discouraging. So we shall see.

After about 2 HOURS with the shrink I went to work. Mostly just prepared for tomorrow's CLASSES that I am in charge of (and hence, a little nervous). It is going to be a very VERY long day tomorrow, too. I have several 2nd grade field trips and those are the ones we make ice cream so SORE muscles. And the big evening class "I Want to Be a Cowboy/Cowgirl!"

It makes me giggle because, well, for one, I DON'T really want to be a cowgirl. And of all the animals on the farm right now Chief, the head pony is my second least favorite (The first being Meagan the goat that wants to kill me.). And I don't even really LIKE cowboys. (Okay, not ALWAYS true. Cowboy Matt is awesome. And rather hot.

And sometimes when boys that are NOT cowboys pretend and DRESS UP like cowboys they, too, are hot though uncharacteristically hick-ish. Still... HOT. *whistling innocently*)

However, I DO want to be a Cowgirl/Cowboy TEACHER because we are totally making STICK HORSES!!! With sock heads! And that will be way funny. Plus paper bag puppets of cows. And, you know, teach about farming, what we DO with cows and horses, etc. And maybe I can somehow figure out a way to work carrying Ambrosia around like a baby into the lesson. Just because she is so sweet.

It should be a fun class. However, my assisting teachers will be Rerun *rolls eyes* and Grandma Betty. Better than before, though, as the ACTUAL ones assigned were Rerun and Milestoner but she announced today that she was quitting. Not, like 2 weeks notice, like "Ummm, yeah, I am not going to come anymore." WHATEVER. Good riddance. Except, of course, that means we are even MORE short staffed. And at least incompetent workers are warm bodies. (Which is why Rerun is still at the top of his game! Actually, he deserves SOME credit. He IS trying harder. It's not WORKING, he is still almost more work than help, but he is trying. E for effort, Rerun.

My head is getting worse and I am scared it is THE Headache. I am not ready to do that whole death/stroke/paralysis-risk procedure again YET. If I have to, I will. But not yet. So today I went back to Physical Therapy. That hurt. Then felt better. And now hurts a lot. BLEH.

There were no new animals at the farm today, but that is not the case at The Ark, the house me and my roomie and our critters share. It is good to live with someone who likes your pets and you like theirs. But sometimes it is dangerous to have an ally. Because if you BOTH feel the need to take in the strays, fosters, and orphans of the world, who is there to tell you "No, not this one. That is too much." (But No Elephants!, anyone?!)

Yep, we have a new dog right now. She is sweet but terrified and for good reason. She was pretty clearly beaten... and set on FIRE. Seriously. Sometimes I HATE people. I'm writing more about her on here.

Keep the little pup in your prayers, would you? She needs them.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Bicentennial Bloggage!

200th post!
Can you believe it? 200 posts here on Blogger, well, on Library of Skittles Deferred anyway (I mean, I HAVE other Blogger blogs, after all.) That's... zany.You'd have thought I would've learned to shut up by now, but NO! I won't stop writing!

Apparently I won't stop EATING now either because I already HAD dinner tonight but my stupid stomach is growling. So I will check my blood sugar and then eat something accordingly. I have been VERY frustrated today with my diabetes... and my headache... and the fact that I can't stop crying about those things. But, well, MAYBE tomorrow will help. I have a new psychiatrist and I meet with him for the first time tomorrow morning.

The actual REASON for the visit is that the pills I take for insomnia sure aren't cutting it and so I need to talk to a psychiatrist about my sleep issues. However, since, you know, he is a PSYCHIATRIST I will probably also see if he can help me with my depression since I haven't been seen by one for it in a long time and I think maybe I need to change meds. I don't know. We'll see.

What sucks, though, is that I have to miss work to go to the appointment. And work, while stressful, hard, and painful it is NOT BORING! But, yeah... Painful. That goat that has it in for me butted my arm repeatedly against the fence as I was trying to leave. Yeah, we are NOT friends. Bearded Lady, though, is being great about me holding her new twins who I call Doby (the spindly little one) and Weiler (the other). Okay, so, technically, I am not in charge of naming ANYTHING. But if I am going to be talking to, holding, feeding, petting, or talking about something that does not have a name I am going to call it SOMETHING!

I wonder who REALLY names the critters, anyway? Is it REALLY kids? Because apparently April 28th is our Annual BABY ANIMAL BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! From 10-2 and free with farm admission (so you people (especially with kiddlets!) should come!)And the site says we will be having a Baby Naming Contest. Will we be naming ALL of the babies?! Because SO FAR (and this number could change tomorrow as a TON of mommies are preggy) we have...

7 kids - 2 Nubian(?), 3(?) Angora, and 2 Pygmy
6 calves - 2 Jersey, 2 Holstein, and 2 Angus(?)
16(?) bunnies - 8(?) Holland Lop and 8(?) Rex
3 ducklings
10 chicks
18(?) poults
1 pony

The only ones who OFFICIALLY have names are the Jerseys, Jake and T-Bone.

Unofficially, 3 of the the baby goats are Doby, Weiler, Ambrosia, the Angus calves are Rusty and Brisket, the fluffiest poult is Bebe, and the pony is Frankie Sinatra. Unofficially, meaning *I* named them. Hee hee!

This really is the BEST place to work. Funny kids. Funny animals. Occasionally I get to color with crayons! Who could as for more?*

*other than, well, higher salary...
and benefits...
and a better commute...
not getting HURT so often (but really, it's ME. I could work in a room of pillows and still end up battered and bruised)...

ANYWAY, I need to go to bed. It is now much later than when I STARTED this entry. Blame the boy. He called and distracted me. Hee hee hee!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Congratulations, Bearded Lady!

Spring is so SPRINGY on a farm. There are babies all over the place! We have 2 mama rabbits with litters just turning sweet and furry. They are wiggly and tiny and their eyes are closed.

But the real news are the real newbies... or since they are goats are they nubies? Two little kids born just today! The first is MUCH bigger than the second and looks about a week older than the twin, but the mama seems to be taking care of both. GOOD GIRL! I am proud of her!

The first came breach and one of the farm girls had to get in there and turn it. It was only after that one was out for awhile that they even figured out there WAS a little twin in there. Mama was tired of pushing, so they pulled out that one, too. They both look pretty healthy considering, though a bit exhausted. Being born is hard work!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Just Kidding, you Turkey!

I didn't go to work today ('Tis Tuesday) because I felt like crap. I thought I might have strep. I am still not certain but I couldn't get a doctor's appointment. But I think I have something else to blame for my sore throat. My mouthwash was RECALLED. And, yes, I know I am using kids' stuff... shaddup.

But other than feeling strepish I also felt like I was in a drunken stupor because Dr. Hasacrazywife prescribed me the MAX dose of Topamax without building up to it and it floored me. BLEH.

I missed work. No, I mean, like I missed it as in I wish I'd been there. I always feel like I am missing out on something when I am not there... some funny kid quote or some tiny new animal being born or some stupid thing Rerun said or whatever. It is hard for me to not go to work. But as I spent most of the day only half sentient and being practically babysat by my mother it would have been a VERY bad time to have been in charge of children.

Anyway, now it is very late and, although the meds made me groggy all day but I am not sleepy NOW, NOW is exactly when I SHOULD sleep. Peace.



Monday night I had to teach Family Night at the Farm. THAT WAS HILARIOUS. First of all, just because it was kinda FHE I kept thinking someone would start trying to give a prayer or song. Because I am weird. And Mormon. And yes, I know sometimes those are the same thing. ANYWAY, Family Night at the Farm is a program we have at TGP where Monday nights during May from 6-8 families can come to an open house style family night complete with a little craft, refreshment, etc. FREE with paid admission to Farm Country. So we are talking CHEAP entertainment. And, we agreed to have an extra one (in April... not May, obviously) to kind of kick it off and also so it could coincide with an FSA (that's Families Supporting Adoption, just fyi) activity. Well, the theme was baby animals and so we did things like playing Bingo with the names of animals and their babies. Some were actually hard.

Sheep have lambs, goats have kids, chickens have chicks, and horses have foals. Those are easy. But did everyone know that turkeys have poults and llamas have crias but guanacos have chulengos?!

Anyway, the really hilarious part was when we decided we should really bring a couple babies into the classroom. A kid and a poult, to be exact. It was cute in THEORY. Only there is one thing common of ALL babies be they people babies or goat babies or turkey babies. They all want constant ATTENTION. So both decided that anytime I put them DOWN they would cry at the top of their lungs... which is remarkably LOUD, by the way. Goats bleat VERY LOUD. That I kind of expected. And it was very sweet holding snuggly baby Ambrosia. However, the baby turkey ALSO wanted my undivided attention. Who knew? It would seriously start peeping than SCREECHING until petted. It was cute, but weird, and people just aren't quite as smitten with turkeys as goats. They are, after all, much bigger than chicken chicks.

But the goat was very VERY funny. See, even though it is a LITTLE goat, sometimes I needed to rest my arm or help someone with an activity and tried to brave the crying and put it on the ground. Since they aren't potty trained we had a little cage thing out of hay bale (not real ones... they are really raffia covered boxes, but whatever). Problem is the little goats think they are MOUNTAIN goats... and they have mad skills for it! We built it 3 feet high... Ambrosia jumped out! We built it 4 feet... she jumped out. We built it 5 feet and drew crowds of cheering little boys as Ambrosia the Wonder Goat cleared it with ease over and over. It was AWESOME... and frustrating... and HILARIOUS. I *heart* Ambrosia!

Anyway, TODAY sucked.... except the end of it. My mom and I watched Gilmore Girls (they are new again! HOORAY!). Then when I went home I talked to Fresno. You know, most of the time I really like that boy, But sometimes I am full on smitten with him. SIGH! He was just... cute. We were talking about church stuff, scriptures, etc. He is having a hard time in his ward and so is sad. I finally told him that I got a trip to California for my birthday.

He was SO EXCITED! He wants to go to some cave. Hee hee hee! FUN! Anyway, we just talked and giggled about stuff and he was so dang cute. I need to get planning that.

SIGH. So. Dang. Cute. <:O)

Friday, April 13, 2007

To Cheer You

I've been busy so I haven't blogged for most of this week. So, some updates...

1. The next day at work, I got THESE...

Dang it all, when Fresno complains he complains with flair! However, am I the only one who thinks "to cheer you" is a rather awkwardly formal phrase? It reminds me of a bad translation or something.

2. I have such awesome friends. I got to go to the temple with Mali for the first time. Jessi did too and we sat together! (The other person in the photo's is Mali's other good friend, who I did not know.) Yay for friends! Yay for the Temple!!!!

I was very proud of Mali; she did great, even under... ummm... EXTERNAL stress.

3. Work has been more than a little INSANE. See, I an technically part-time. But I have often worked 8:30am-7pm. with out a lunch... well, I mean I EAT... Diabetes sort of dictates that... but usually I don't stop working I just drink a SlimFast or eat a FiberOne Chocolate and Oats bar (THEY ARE SO YUMMY) from my pocket while working. But the thing is the work isn't regular, so I have to grab hours when they come. I might work 5 10 hour days and then have a week of 2 hour days. But so far, that just hasn't happened as it is our busy time. So I work a LOT. It is very physical work, too... but actually I really prefer that. You can see results, you know? When you are on the phone doing customer service, you may never really feel satisfied. But when you have to jump in a pen to catch a goat, you KNOW whether you have succeeded or not. When a child is crying and you cheer them up ("to cheer you" Ha!) you know you've done well. Even working in the office I pour over the core curriculum trying to develop an education program for the dinosaur museum, well it is a major challenge of intellect, focus and creativity. It is EXTREMELY hard work sometimes. Every muscle hurts, every nerve is frazzled... but you feel good about what you did.

So far, even though sometimes I feel like crying (and, like when a big fence slammed on my hand, I DO cry), I have to say I LOVE THIS JOB. How many times have I been able to say that? I only make 7 dollars an hour for a job that anywhere outside the Not-for-Profit sector should make at least twice that plus benefits. But I can honestly say that I love TGP. I love the children, the animals, the gardens, the art projects, the dinosaurs, the ever changing duties that help me never, ever bored.

And as for the hardness of the work, well, we always joke about how great it is to work somewhere with such a large fitness facility. We have cardio (keeping up with 7th graders in TLC from building to building), weights (picking up lambs to children can pet them, lifting up the CHILDREN to they can pet the bunnies, harnessing hateful ponies) and flexibility (climbing over the goat's fence, reaching for craft supplies on the top shelf of the storage room). Hee hee hee!

However, some days are just... AAARGH...

4. I am not ACTUALLY superstitious... usually. But holy CRAP what a Friday the 13th!!!!! First of all, I was supposed to be shadowing. Not in charge of a group, just helping. But Neither Rerun (a 20 year old who seems like a 12 year old. He is VERY flaky and has, on more than one occasion completely stopped working when Rinny has left the office. He'll make long distance calls on the company phone, play Sudoku online, etc. But of course, Rinny doesn't have the guts to FIRE him.) nor Milestoner (she was hired with me, and at the point she seemed awesome. NOW, not so much) SHOWED UP for their shifts.

Actually, that's not quite true. I was covering for Rerun on a particularly CRAZY field trip. Rinny, who was not supposed to be running a trip either, but rather in managerial meetings with the PRESIDENT (of TGP... not George W. Bush... or Gordon B. Hinckley) was covering for Milestoner. The others (who were actually DOING their jobs) were CrazyConnie, Boston, and GrandmaBetsy. Anyway, we were all running around like crazy trying to keep things under control and I could have SWORN I saw Rerun. I squinted and waved to him to come over and take his class but he ducked out so I assumed it WASN'T him. I fumbled through the field trip... it was a grade I didn't know the lesson for as I hadn't shadowed it before, but I survived (barely.). Finally, Rerun showed up to do his damn JOB and we were able to get things going a LITTLE better and Rinny was able to meet with the BigWigs.

Our Farm Manager, Mac, is AWESOME. He's a cowboy and knows his stuff, and is also a thoroughly likable person. He is also quitting to run his landscape business. We will miss him terribly. And part of the reason for BigWigs being down to the farm was to talk about his replacement. Several of the Farmhands wanted RINNY to take over. Run Education AND the Farm. She would not do well, but she's do better than who they GOT.

There is really only ONE person at TGP that Rinny can NOT get along with at ALL and that is SGary. He runs the museum, is a cocky jerk, and is 100% businessman. The only thing important to him is his museum and MONEY. The Museum is the ONLY part of TGP that makes enough to break even. Everything else only stays afloat because of our benefactors, the Ashtons. So, yes, SGary has room to brag. BUT he is a JERK about it, hates the education department, kids, messiness. And GUESS who they put in charge of the FARM now, too?!

[NOTE: NONE of this has been officially ANNOUNCED yet, so I shouldn't be saying anything. But I figure none of you care/know these people and so I won't get in trouble. So I vent.]

I can see 2 possible outcomes to this decision. 1. SGary never comes down to our smelly, kid-filled, non-money-making farm and maybe eventually closes it. 2. He raises the admission price to something like the museum's and we become a little ghost town as NOBODY will pay 8 bucks to ride ponies and pet cows. Oh, and Rinny has a freaking Breakdown. When the CEO told her who's be running the farm, she handled it pretty well... she waited till he left before bawling. She HATES SGary. Mind you, we are not UNDER him... he's not HER boss. Education is it's own entity, and RINNY is OUR boss. But she will be working WITH him. And we need his help. We already have a devil of a time getting his cooperation with the museum activities. Now he will lord over the FARM too.

He will be HILARIOUS if he ever COMES to the farm though. In his suoit and being all stuck up, I can just picture him buying our new COWS like Mac did. *rolls eyes* GEEZ.

What a day. OH and eventually Rerun admitted to Rinny he HAD been here. "So, wanna hear a funny story?"

"Does it involve where you were during your shift?"

"Yeah, ummm, it's funny! I read the 2nd page of the schedule but not the first so I thought there was nothing until 12."


"And I came in early to do some stuff in the office [In other words he clocked in to "work" on the computer but 10 bucks says he just read email and played Sudoku] but then I saw a big group of kids on the wagon ride and thought 'I wonder if that's a field trip?' and then... ummm... I saw [Kipluck] leading a field trip[I knew it!]... so I sort of hid in the office for awhile."

"When you saw [Kipluck], why didn't you go relieve her?"

"Ummm... well... she looked busy."

UMMM... DUH?! Grrrrr! Idiot.

Those field trips were crazy, too. I LOVE how IMPRESSIONABLE kids are! We were on the wagon ride and one little 1st grader started BAWLING. I went to sit with him and asked what was wrong.

He wailed, "I jus' miss my Mom and Dad!"

"Oh, but guess what? I bet they will LOVE to here about your day! You can tell them about petting to horses and seeing the chickens with their eggs and petting those bunnies."

*sniffle* "Yeah..."

"They will be SO jealous because this is so much fun!"

"Yeah. [still bawling] This is so much fun." HA!

Then he smiled, wiped his eyes, and was fine the whole time! At the end of the ride, I said "I am so proud of you." Then another little boy told him "You were crying at the first." and the first little boy's lip started quivering, so I quickly said "Yes, but now he is so brave!"

The second little boy said "yeah, he's SO BRAVE!" with a sigh of freaking ADMIRATION! And the 1st smiled again! MY POWER OF SUGGESTION IS MAGICAL!!! Kids are AWESOME.

I also went to the doctor after work. I got some new meds and an appointment with a psychiatrist. SIGH.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Who Knew Balloons were SO IMPORTANT to everyone?! GEEZ!

28. It's not as old as I thought when I was a kid, but still... closer to 30 than 20. It's been a good year, though. I moved into The Ark with the Roomie and her puppies. I like that. I met Fresno, and now I am actually DATING him. I finally got a job I rather *like*, even if the pay is chicken feed and there is no insurance. I finally figured out the source of my hellish headaches. My baby bro got his mission call to Italy. I got a SpongeBob balloon... oh wait. That was just today. Hee hee!

Today has been CRAZY, though!!! So first of all the field trips were running behind. And then we lost all electricity because construction guys cut the underground wires with the backhoe! It wasn't too much of a problem for US, GIVING the field trips, but in the barn with the computers and cash registers? MAYHEM!

THEN Cowboy Matt was in with the Jacob's Sheep (and on all fours for some reason. I need to ask him about that.). They are the ones with big scary horns. A protective mother BUTTED HIM IN THE FACE! It CRUSHED his nose, and true to the Cowboy Way he put on a bandage, stuffed gauze in his nose and STAYED AT WORK!!! There was blood everywhere! And the scariest part, in terms of how hard he was hit, was that not all of the blood was Cowboy Matt's! One of the ewe's HORNS was knocked LOOSE! Kids were freaking out!

Crazy field trips! Then when we were cleaning up and I went to get some supplies I came back to the classroom barn the education department started singing Happy Birthday to me and Rinny had a Hostess cupcake with a candle lit in it! And THEN right after I blew out the candle I got a phone call that there was a flower delivery coming to my office. So Rinny and I headed to the office to find this cute bowl full of flowers! Lots of daisies (my favorite besides dandelions). And the bowl is super cute with birthday candles. The card said:

"I wish I could be there to see your smiling face right now! (And you BETTER be smiling!)
Much Love,

How sweet is that?

Anyway, then I worked on the curriculum for a few hours and then drove to the Asian Buffet to meet the family for my birthday dinner. Because, mostly, Padre LOVES those Free Birthday meals. Well, they really ARE the strictest EVER. (I think they just scrutinize US because they know Dad's the one who leaves the rice off of his sushi.) They only do it WITH a coupon ON your actual birthday WITH your driver's license. Which is FINE, but they took my ID for like 20 minutes! And the guy looked SUPER suspicious of me! I don't know if it's just because it was Padre or because of the new ID designs but I felt like I was trying to get a free million dollars instead of just some shrimp, wonton things, and exceptionally crappy desserts. Really why DO they have such bad desserts? Oh well, the egg drop soup more than makes up for it.

Anyway, I got the coolest fortune. "A 4-Wheeled adventure will bring you happiness soon." So random! Mom was funny though, she was like SERIOUSLY sad and stressed that she didn't get me BALLOONS. I told her I sure didn't care. But she just kept saying "Oh I can't believe you didn't get balloons from anybody!" I really didn't care. BUT when I got home the Roomie HAD got me a balloon anyway! (I called my mom and told her. She said "Oh! Thank her for me!")

And the present tied to it was a (rather creepy) skateboarding thumb person. Her name is Andie. It is a VERY weird toy. I love it!

Fresno, too, is ADORABLE. He called me a little bit ago. I had already sent him a thank you message, but he'd been at work. So we only just actually talked. He sang Happy Birthday to me and told me, like, 20 stupid jokes. (We were in a VERY punny mood) I told him how much I loved the flowers, and he asked if my co-workers had teased me about the balloons.


He was SO upset! He had ORDERED flowers AND a TON of balloons and they didn't deliver! (Who knew everyone was going to get so hung up on a little helium?!) He went off on them for FOREVER, then apologized for ruining my birthday. I told him he didn't, but he just ranted on. (And he didn't even know about my mom's balloonless woes) He is PISSED at Flowers on Main and plans to call them tomorrow morning to complain... AND make them deliver me balloons. I told him not to worry about the balloons. I felt bad he didn't get what he paid for, but I LOVED the gift as is. But he was bummed and disappointed because it wasn't PERFECT. As he said, he wanted it to be big and for everyone to see them and congratulate me since he couldn't be here to do so. I told him that I got a LOT of comments about the flowers, but he was pretty inconsolable. Silly boy.

Anyway, again I should go to bed early(not that I'll SLEEP. GRRR.). Waking up for these field trips is killing me. So tired it causes actual pain. If I don't adjust soon, I think it may kill me. But, hey, Happy Birthday to ME!

Sunday, April 8, 2007

You can go there anytime you want, but you can never leave...

Happy Easter! Today was a good one. First of all, even though I was exhausted, I DID wake up in time for my interview with Stake President and got my Temple recommend renewed (So, Mali, I'll be there!) and then regular church. Which was also good! Very good hymns, too. Anyway, after church I went to the Padres for an Easter/Family Pre-Birthday Party!

We had dinner (everything sugar/fat free so I could eat everything, even the cake!), talked a lot about BoyKid and took pictures of random family goings-on for him, and then I got presents!

The Padres gave me:
*a new little boom box

*a $10 gift certificate to Seagull Book
*a bag of caramel Quaker Quakes Rice Snack
*$10 gift card from Petco


*a TRIP TO CALIFORNIA! Like they will pay for plane tickets! And a couple nights in a cheap motel! I am going to save my own money for a rental car and stuff, but I can go visit Fresno instead of him always coming out here! YAY!

I am not sure when yet, or the details, but they gave me a card that said so (and a model plane, but Padre even took that back. hee hee hee!)! Woohoo! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

My Sister, Rinny gave me:
*an original copy of my favorite shot of the Prophet! She knows the photographer through his wife who is at Thanksgiving point! PRES. HINCKLEY IS SO CUTE IN A FEDORA!
*She made me a plate with the Teen Girl Squad on it and the words "Wiggity Wack?" "No, just the regular type." AWESOME!!!

Hee hee hee! My family is pretty dang cool sometimes!

Then we had cake (sugar-free angel food cake) and watched The Testaments of One Fold and One Shepherd on DVD for Easter.

Then I went home and goofed around online (and CC gave me a bouquet on Gaia and by the way she is UBER TALENTED.) Anyway, I need to go to bed. I work early tomorrow. NOT thrilled with that, but yeah. But hey, it is my Birthday and I think Fresno is sending me flowers! And you know what? I have never really got flowers from a boy before! Except Padre, because, you know, he does that. But never from a guy who wasn't giving them to everyone or sending carnations to friends through the school (SpeedyGus gave me a carnation once, but our friend Stephanie, too. And Fredlee gave flowers to ALL the girls in the class. But never just from one boy just for me. So even though I am not a flower type person (I'd rather have tadpoles. Or chocolate. Or crayons.) I am a little excited to see if that is really what is happening. Makes me feel SO girly!

Saturday, April 7, 2007

"You've Been Drinking Honey Wine!" (That's a totally cool and biblical way to say You're Full of Crap!)

Hee hee hee hee! Pictures like this just make me happy!

Anyway, other than random cute glider pictures from the internet, I am having a springy Eastery day! I know, Easter is tomorrow. But today is pretty outside, I have no work, and The The Ten Commandments is on! They STILL show it every year?! That cracks me up. "Moses, Moses, Moses!" Sure it is fairly cheesy and OOOLD, but it is, undeniably a CLASSIC. And it must be watched!

Last night Rinny tried to have a "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus!" Party. She brought Lamb of God and Easter Dream. I sent BoyKid a box of eggs full of candy and random toys and junk. I also sent an Easter card with a bunny and a fart joke. Because, well, he's my little brother! So the Easter/Passover/MyBirthday season weekend is kicking off nicely.

I have also been having an interesting missionary-ish experience on Gaia in the Religious Tolerance Guild. A thread was started about the basics of Mormonism... and I am possibly the only Mormon IN the club. So clearing up some myths has been fun AND hard. But it is pretty cool how sharing your testimony grows and strengthens it, you know? Very cool.

Hmmm... our house is HOT. I think maybe the Roomie turned on the heat because she shaved the puppies and they were probably cold afterwards. I don't know. Personally, it weirds me out when they are shaved. I know they like it when it gets warmer but they look 1/3 of their original size and kind of creepy looking. I
like them all fluffy.

Okay, how is it that I forgot that the Ten Commandments is, like, a billion hours long?! Holy Hannah! It's FOREVER!

I'm switching to MASH. I know how it ends anyway... I've read the book. ;O) hee hee!

Anyway, I really am going to bed now. Oh, but about the boy. Fresno's jerk of a Landie FINALLY told someone they could rent his place! Hooray! However, he is HATING his job a LOT and so is talking about quitting and finding something, even something temporary, to make the house payments and stuff, but that is different than his other job. I know he hates it... and it is his choice. I just hope it works out right. I don't know. But like I said, it's his life. He needs to do what he feels is right. I just want to be sure he doesn't do something dumb for ME. You know? Anyway, yeah. I need to go to bed now. I need to go to church BEFORE church in the morning. Because that is when our Stake President does recommends interviews and I keep not getting there in time. I have a Temple recommends that us signed by my BISHOP, but not him. No good. And I have plans for Tuesday, dang it all! Hee hee!

Friday, April 6, 2007

My Alphabetical Orders

A is for age:
27 years old... 'til Monday
B is for Beer:
Root - yummy! <--- Ditto!
C is for Career:

Keeps changing. Nothing I am doing right now is really Career (vs. Job) level. But I like it for now. My dream would probably to be a writer/illustrator/librarian/ASL interpreter/mom/wildlife and pet rehabilitator.
D is for my Dog’s Name:
Cassie. Her whole name was Cassidy Cheyenne. I so miss her. I mean, I have other pups in my life, but they aren't CASSERS, you know? Though I admit I love the Roommate's dogs like my own. They are Trinket and Shasta. And Fresno's babies, well I haven't met them yet, but I am SURE I'll love them. They are Darby and Demi.
E is for Essential Item I Use Everyday:
SoftLips... my cell phone... my Palm Pilot... my laptop... meds...
F is for Favorite T.V. Show:
The Office, Gilmore Girls, Scrubs, Perry Mason..
G is for Favorite Game:
I don't know. Scrabble or Boggle? I like words.
H is for Hometown:
Eh... Orem, Utah?
I is for Instruments I Play:
Harmonica. I'm rusty, but I USED to be able to play a few Beatles songs and such. Bot I do NOT read notes so it has to be either by ear or written in Harmonica tabs.
J is for Favorite Juice:
MOST of them! I guess my fave is White Grape. Though, none are very Diabetes friendly.
K is for Whose Butt I’d Like To Kick:
The people who stole my identity and Jeep a few years ago. The guy who attacked my Megs when she was a kid. (But *kicking* would be way too kind.) Various landlords. Whomever robbed Fresno.
L is for the Last Place I Ate:
Panda Express! My mommy treated me after water aerobics.
M is for Marriage:
As Mae West said, "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready to be institutionalized."
N is for my Name:
BethAnn or Kipluck, usually.
O is for Overnight Hospital Stays:
Most recently, I went in for a "same day" surgery to remove my gall bladder and had complications (what can I say, I am a complicated girl?) and so got stuck there for about a week. Just my luck. Heck, Stewie went in around the same time for HEART surgery and came home before me!
P is for People I was With Today:
My mom, some random people working out at the pool, The Roomie, Rinny, Mom again, and Padre.
Q is for Quote:
"A room without books is like a body without a soul." - Cicero
(the picture, btw, is by GoblinQueeen, one of my FAVORITE Deviant artists)
R is for Biggest Regret:
My screw ups have made me who I am.... though that is not always good. My biggest regret is not continuing with Skating or something. Sure, I might have broken more bones, but I would be healthier, I think.
S is for Sport:
I like weird stuff like curling or roller derby. Or watching most ANY sport if there is a party/cute date attached. As for playing I like my swimming/water aerobics. If I could play anything, it would be Quidditch.
T is for Time I Woke Up Today:
3 am. Then 5 am. Then 9. Then 11. Then 12.
U is for Current Underwear:
Armor. ;OP
V is for Vegetable You Love:
Asparagus, baby brussel sprouts, baby corn, spinach, butter leaf lettuce, little tomatoes!
W is for Worst Habit:
Staying up to late, negative self-talk, too much computer when I should be cleaning or exercising or sleeping.
X is for X-rays I Have Had:
I am pretty sure that it would be shorter to ask X-rays I HAVEN'T had. To which I would answer:
Y is for Yummy Food You Ate Today:
Chow Mein, shrimp
Z is for Zodiac:
Aries, of course! Baaaa! Sheep Go to Heaven, Goats go to Hell!