Part... yeah... Never mind.

Part... yeah... Never mind.

I am not finishing my vacation entry or Christmas, or anything.

Cirque Du Soleil (Ka) was freaking amazing. Blue Man Group was uncomfortably hilarious but gave Germaphobe Rinny a pretty bad anxiety attack because they buried us in toilet paper. And I got a Grey tree frog for Christmas and named her Costanza.

That's all you get. Now I am going to attempt to move on and blog every so often, starting with the quiz I got on Facebook about 25 Random things.

Yesterday at 5:53pm

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

[Or you tagged me, like a zillion years ago and I am finally getting to it. Sorry I suck so much!]

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs (+) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1) I have recently begun really considering my 3 sugar gliders my children. I always CALLED them my babies. But I recently realized that my love for them has reached the level of "Crazy Cat Lady" and I do, in fact, consider them my children. My tortoise and turtle are eeking close to actual child-ship as well. Is it because I will soon be 30?

2) I turn 30 in April.

3) I used to blog a lot. Now I am back going to the Doctors a lot. Blogging is much cheaper, but I just seem to have lost my ability to complete my thoughts and so I start entries and don't finish them. So I quit. It makes me cry. I know it's dumb to cry about blogging. But it was better than therapy and therapy isn't working. And I still can't finish my thoughts so...

4) I saw the Blue Man Group in Vegas. It was very funny BUT Rinny kind of freaked because they covered us in Toilet Paper. That was not as much funny as stressful. I know that feeling too well.

5) I hate elevators and they give me panic attacks sometimes.

6) I think Capybaras are the coolest animals since sugar gliders and someday TOTALLY want one as a pet!!!

7) I am ALWAYS reading something. If I don't have a book I am in at the moment I feel utterly lost.

8) I feel like I gave a piece of my heart away when I had to give Josie, my goat, to that nice lady with a farm. Even though I was giving her an awesome life. I know that it will sound insulting to them, so I won't tell them, when I hear women talk about giving up a child for adoption inside I want to say "I know how you feel. EXACTLY how you feel." and cry. But they would hate me.

9) I recently found out after a year of the first med that has ever given me ANY kind of LIVABLE life with my pain that it has been causing my teeth to rot and I now have 16 cavities. I still WILL take it... because I can't NOT. But, seriously? 16 cavities? My teeth are breaking out of my mouth? I have a prescription toothpaste now? Can I not catch a break EVER?!

10) I like water aerobics... MOST days

11) I have an apartment with an awesome roommate who has adorable dogs and takes care of my shell babies... and I don't LIVE there. I live at my parents' house.

12) I love off-roading but there is nowhere decent to do it here.

13) I mostly listen to Christian Rock ALL the time... then will randomly turn for 10 minutes to the angriest, darkest alternative music ever. Weird.

14) I have 3 bettas and each HAD a "pet" snail. This week one of the snails (Michael Phish Phelps' snail, China) died. And I cried for a solid half hour.

15) I bought a Gray Tree Frog for Christmas and named her Costanza. Now I would totally love to buy her a boyfriend!

16) I still miss my ex-boyfriend "Fresno." It's been LONG ENOUGH to be WAY over him. And I AM. I just also... miss having someone to play with and feeling cute and funny.

17) I LOVE MY JOB. I rarely GO, but I LOVE it. If I could do it more, and get, like paid for it more, it would be perfection. My job at Thanksgiving Point, but full-time, WOULD be my dream job.

18) My little Brother is coming home from Italy MARCH 13th and I am so freaking excited!!!!!!! I sort of idolize the BoyKid.

19) My little sister is my BOSS at work! And it is her birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RINNY!!!

20) I have an undying crush on Perry Mason.

21) I almost ALWAYS have my suggies with me. At present they are all 3 in a pouch in my shirt.

22) My glider Heber is partially named after a Plyg relative of Coats' Heebs' whole name is Heber Lyman Nestor the Molester (the Molester Part is NOT from Coats' Fam!)

23) I love Photography. I take at least 10 pictures a day... most nobody sees as I just save them and decide what to do with them later. And yes, I admit, MOST are of my gliders. Hee hee!

24) I miss the Fringe. The Fringe is a group of 4 of us in the mission (Coats, Parker, and Lil' Jeppsen) and now includes the Fringe-in-laws Risa Parker and Uhh... Mrs. Jeppsen and the MiniFringe their kiddlets. We are awesome friends. Coats and I remain single. She does things like join the Army and Skydive. I do things like... umm 1- 24. hee hee!

25)<-- is one of my 3 favorite numbers. The other 2 are 7 and 222. "The Boys are Back!"

How far will Kipluck drive to Get fried balls of dough? TO THE CAPITAL BUILDING!!!!

Yeah. So this week some major ups and downs. First a silly tidbit. Rinny and I had to be at the UEA Convention for work plugging or Field Trips, trying to get high schoolers into The Fairchild Challenge, networking with groups who might give our kids some events to go to for their "Environmental Immersion day," and collecting an inordinate amount of free pencils and whistles. Woohoo! Anyway, after that I really wanted to splurge and get something yummy. As in hush puppies and fish at Long John Silver's which I was pretty sure there WAS on State Street in the Sandy to Salt Lake area. So I figured I would just drive till I saw one.

Well, after awhile even though I pretty much knew there was no way there was a Long John Silver's on that street, it was like playing Chicken with myself. I WAS going to drive the whole street. And so, yeah, ended up at the Capitol Building to take pictures. hee hee!

I love the Lions. And the other statues. And the funky angles (I just adore architecture anyway)! And the random Spanish lady asking me if the Brigham Young in the capitol was the same as the prophet. (Si.).

So, that was Friday and some silliness. Earlier in the week was a bit more emotional.

First, there was Josie. The very first person who called ended up being the PERFECT person for her. A young Grandma who wanted her as a cherished pet. She will live with kids and grandkids to play with (which is much better than goats and sheep who she never really liked and with whom, well, she was the lowest on the totem pole. See how she ate?
This was how she ate EVERY DAY. UNDER the trough, picking at crumbs. MY PRINCESS should NOT have to grovel for food!) Josie is a PEOPLE Goat. She thought she WAS a human kid and liked playing with the neighbor girls (my mom's surrogate grandchildren). Also, Josie HATED the cold and wet and would have been miserable in the snow and yuckiness, especially with less people to visit her... and now she will have attention everyday with a warm goat house (and a lady who admitted she will probably end up inside the house more often than not this winter!) and her fluffy dog bed again. And all this farm stuff is moot anyway since they were going to sell her and who knows who'd buy her! But probably not someone THIS AWESOME.

Even with those scriptures about sheep and goats that now make me purse my lips a bit Heavenly Father surely answers prayers for little goats. I know he did. My mom and I were praying so hard and then this lady... and she hugged me 3 times when she met Josie and told me how beautiful and perfect she was (and she IS but I am glad SHE knew!) and told me all about her missionary son and hugged me again and talked so sweet to Josie and she was just... PERFECT. She is EXACTLY an answer to prayer. Pretty much the only way God could have topped this was to make this better was to magically give ME my own farm to keep Josie on.

But He's not Santa Claus or the Genie... He's Heavenly Father. And He obviously loves his GOATS as much as His SHEEP after all.

(Which totally reminds me of a story I am putting in the other blog. YES. A church story about Goats. Kinda. Hee hee!)

But I sure will miss her.

Then I went to my house (because sometimes I try to visit my OWN house and take care of things (even though my awesome roomie is caring for everyone) to make ME feel better.) after a trip to the Pet Store. I was missing Josie and decided to just poor that into my other pets. So I decided my little gerbil Boo needed some spoiling and hadn't got a new chewing treat in awhile. So I bought it and went home to her... to find her dead.

She had JUST died. The Roomie had seen her acting just fine just the night before. I had to pet her to even be sure she WAS dead because she looked just asleep, but not responding to my voice. I started crying so hard. There were some of those tears in there for missing Josie. But truly, Boo was the BEST Gerbil.

Most gerbils hide when people tap on the glass. BooBonic came out of hiding when you tapped. She would come to the top level to visit you. She would often follow the dogs in her ball. The Roomie works with the disabled, and her main client, J, loved Boo. She never once bit him or anyone else, not in her whole life with me. He loved to help care for her and it was part of his routine. Boo actually became the smallest animal in their Pet Therapy Program! She was so patient with children and the disabled. She was active to the end. She never slowed down or was arthritic. She got a few grey hairs, but other than that, she was very healthy as an old gerbil. I know she likely died of old age... she looked just like she was sleeping. When I burried her, she looked like she was sleeping still. I marked her grave with a stone painted like a pumpkin for one of Rinny's TV spots, then labeled with her name and dates.

She was sweet and funny and a WONDERFUL gerb. I will miss her terribly.

My Heart: FOR SALE

I got a call today. Josie is being sold. Many of the babies were sold together, cheap, and maybe as meat. WeatheredLeatheredFarmLady called to let me know she had saved Josie aside for NOW to offer her to me first.

I said yes. I will buy her.

YOU guys know I can't have her.

Where would she go? She is so loud... and so, well, ILLEGAL. But she is MY LITTLE GIRL. I can not let someone take her who will not keep her as a pet.... preferably a wonderfully SPOILED one. So here it is. The KSL ad for my "daughter"... it's like giving her up all over again.

Oh, and also, speaking of Josie, this cracked me up... I was looking for something about work (Oh, about Rinny. Because she is on TV for a few minutes every other week at least right now. Wednesday Mornings every other week on channel 14 at 10 am I think... and then on Good Things UT on 4 or 5 whatever channel that is, randomly. But Yeah.) and randomly saw a picture in some strangers blog of Josie Pie. Made me proud of her.

p.s. look at the pictures on my ad. The captions are awesome. They are for Josie. Because SHE is awesome. The best goat EVER.

bad bad bad day

Are you SURE we Mormons aren't supposed to drink? Because today would totally be the type to come home, crash, and do so. I have a split lip. A boy threw up on the tractor. I am covered in hives for some reasons. And if Mr. Rogers had as much trouble with his trolley driver as we have with ours, he's have ripped off that inside sweater in rage and beat the thing the little red plastic shards with one of his leather, outside shoes.

Cutting things short

A Few Short Notes:

*My ulcer makes my stomach hurt so bad today I could cry.

*Got my hair cut short today. I may also do highlights. But for now, a bit shorter.

*I loved playing with my silly little goat on Tuesday. I miss her. She is so dang cute.

*I WASN'T disappointing with the Season premier of Heroes. BUT I understand those who were. I mean, How can you not feel a little let down after a build up like that? A freaking COUNT DOWN SHOW?! Geez! But still... yay! Heroes!

*I am going to be driving Tractor rides a ton during Barnyard Boo this month. SIGH.

*I will be seeing a rheumatologist in Salt Lake soon. Maybe, finally they will figure things out. Sed rate things... and help my Fibro more... maybe.

*BoyKid is completely hilarious. I mean, you know, his letters. I miss him.

*I need to go to bed. Night.

Lifestyles of the Funny and Famous

This past week has been a hard one. I had to give up my Josie girl and do a week long camp. I have been sick, physically... and depressed terribly over my little goat. I miss her. She doesn't belong at that farm, in a swarm of other goats competing for what little food they get right now (stupid hay crisis), one of many, dirty and forgotten. Josie deserves to be a PET. A family pet who is pampered and adored and loved and spoiled and fed fresh hay and grains and only the best nutrition (and maybe a fruit loop or 2 as treat.). I hate that she is there, crying and alone. And I hate that I am working on the other side of the property with 11-14 year olds and stressing out and crying every night.

It was a good class. The kids were funny.

But it was a struggle. And I was hurting a lot and being very ill is not helping.

ANYWAY, finally the week was over... and with it ended the Summer Day Camp Season. Next comes the Field Trip Season. But there is a break in between. And on Friday was -TA DA-The Brian Reagan show!

Oh the perks of clout... of my SISTER. Friday,we totally got in early for Brian Reagan because of Rinny. We got recruited to "VIP services" awhile and were able to lay blankets down on the platform.

Here is the thing. I took pictures and a few videos at Brian Regan. Of where we were, of Rinny accidentally parking in front of his tour bus so we looked like stalkers blocking them in, of us driving around in golf carts, of the crowd coming in all scary like a zombie movie, of Mali and Katie (of the Chums!) chillin' and giggling, and, of course, of BRIAN REAGAN! So why aren't they posted? BECAUSE THEY ARE LOST!!! I have been using the search function and everything and the files are just... gone. So, there you go. BUT, just know this, HE WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!

As for the fame of my sister, remember how awhile ago she did Good Things Utah and taught them ice cream and Peanut Butter Play Dough? Well, they REALLY liked her and asked her back to show some crafts. When they asked for some ideas she might do she gave them a list and rather than PICK they said "okay, maybe 5 more shows." TGP PR people are THRILLED and are calling her the "face of Thanksgiving Point." Our DEPARTMENT is happy because that makes us and our classes look cool.

But yeah, Rinny is famous again and GUESS WHAT, indirectly, SO AM I! Because she assigned me to make the examples! SO, when you watch this clip, know that *I* decorated those pots (badly... don't look much at those) but she made the flower pens, *I* made the paper chain calendar (CC, yours and my friend Ellie May's birthdays are on that thing), she made the Capri Sun bags, she sewed the lunch bags but I DECORATED them (one with Yo Gabba Gabba! Yes, Thai, I fully credit this new level of obsession to YOU.), and she made the book covers but... the books covered are mine? Yeah. We rock.

OH, ALSO, just another TGP thing, in case you didn't know Tuesdays in August are $2 Tuesdays. That is, like Cheaper than *I* can get you in! $2 for ANY VENUE even the uber expensive MUSEUM! Now, mind you there are very few Tuesdays IN August left and the lines are HORRENDOUS, but still, just letting you know.

("I want my two dollars... CASH!")

Saying Goodbye

My very last weekend with Josie. It was decided awhile ago, but that doesn't make it easier. And it almost came much sooner because the WeatheredLeatheredFarmLady asked me to leave her there. "Let her be a goat." I asked if I could wait till Monday as planned. Reluctantly, WLFL agreed, rolling her eyes. But she agreed. So on Monday Josie WON'T be coming back to sleep at the house. She'll be sleeping (or yelling a lot and keeping the other animals awake) at the farm now.

Today is the last day I will have my baby girl.

But YESTERDAY was the Family Reunion for my Mom's Side! Woohoo! Well, Woohoo and simultaneously UGH. But I will explain. And it's not just the normal "Ugh this is a long boring family event" type ugh. Because, well, I had both Breaking Dawn and Josie the Amazing to entertain me if my cousins and their kids didn't (or rather, if my stupid anxiety made me anti-social around my own dang family... it's not THEIR fault I get weird.). *sigh* But anyway...

We went to the same park we went to last year. We had picnic lunches and listened to some remarkably good music (I don't know for SURE which cousin did the CDs (I think Camille (Aunt K and Uncle Ken's daughter... Brady's sister) but I think we should share playlists!) OH! Then my favorite best friend/cousin, Meggy came! Megs and Jakey are all into the Olympics especially (not surprisingly) the horse stuff. Megan told us about this cool horse, Poggio, who was a PACK horse and now is an Olympian! WAY awesome stuff! Megan knows lots of cool stuff!

The cousins' kiddlets (and some of the cousins) got crazy on a Slip 'n' Slide and someone accidentally broke the park's DRINKING FOUNTAIN. Yeah, that was wild.

Josie played with the kids and kept me psychologically anchored. Kids played in the stream and caught water skeeters. Parents talked. The Zoobies remind me more of the Weasleys everyday. JD and Waunita's kid brought a Beardie, though and wanted info on how to raise Mealies... the Beardie was a TINY baby. I gave them much more info than they wanted I am sure. I want a Bearded Lizard someday. I will name it Stanley Yelnats. Rinny threw football with Padre and then took a nap. And she really liked Josie. Also Shandy's Mini-Shandy LOVED her. BTW, Mini-Shandy's dad (I think... I am not ACTUALLY sure all the kids are his?) was there too and seems to be a VERY nice guy and a stable influence on Shandy. Yay for good guys!

It was all pretty fun until most of the family left and we were about to leave when the stupid car decided it was being stolen. It does that OFTEN, the alarm going off and not letting us turn it off. But this time it would NOT relent. It wouldn't turn off OR let the car start.

Calling the DEALER didn't work. Popping the hood and having the cousin-in-law with a questionable background try to disable it did not work. We had to get it to TOWED! It was an ordeal. But Uncle John and fam were awesome enough to drive us home... but Josie was TRAPPED IN THE TOWED CAR! I was so stressed the whole time. I cried when we got home till Padre got her back. This is not how I wanted to spend my last days with her... AWAY from her?! I am going to miss my baby so much.

Spoiler-Free Zone, Madam.

Today was... long. Work was more than a little arduous and I am feeling it. However, Josie is doing better and healing well. She seriously is so funny. But weaning is hard. She cries and cries and it is hard not to give her a bottle. She gets so frustrated. So do I. She is going to have to SLEEP at the farm soon... Like, as in, next week. That is the cut off. I am going to bawl. She is so spoiled... she is going to have a hard time adjusting to sleeping outside with no bed or even a rug (I took away her fluffy bed last week to get her used to it. She suffered.) and mostly, without Mama 15 feet away in my room. But I know it is harder on me. I hate hearing her SCREAM like that... like I am starving her. <:O( Poor baby.

Oh! Today I had her out at the pen to see people and this SUPER cute family were asking about her. I think they were from India and they had the most BEAUTIFUL British accents and SO proper. The little boy kept asking me things like, "May I pet her head, Madam?" MADAM? I mean, Ma'am, sure... but Madam? hee hee hee! They were awesome.

Today I had to leave part way during work because I had an appointment with my neurologist, Dr. FTW. She wanted to follow up on my headaches (better... well, less frequent anyway) which was fitting considering when I LEFT the office I happened to be working alone with all the lights off trying to stave off a bad one. Nothing much new. I am still weird. I still hurt. I'm still something like a walking pharmacy. I am still depressed (OH. BUT something HAS changed with that. I forgot.).

Because I finally got some Medicare I can pay for myself going to a Psych IF I go to an approved one (Wasatch Mental Health)... but not if I still see Dr. Apparently. So last time I told him that I MAY come back but that I was going to try to go there. I am nervous about that, big time.

Other than that I am engrossed in the book.

Yes. I am one of those. But I pre-ordered and they only just delivered it so unlike all the others I have not finished... so in order to not see spoilers I am avoiding all blogs about the Twilight series. AND as I said, I have been crazy busy at work. So I have not been able to read as much as I want.

I am in the middle and so far like it, but am scared to death because I have heard this from so many people about hating it. I don't WANT to hate it... does the hating it happen right away? If I am in the middle, still in love, am I safe from hating it? Or will I suddenly hate it after 2/3? Just THAT little hint would help me brace myself, you might say.

Pioneering New Steps as a Big Girl for Josie... and Oscar the Grouch's on Dope?

Pioneer Day (here in Utah and elsewhere for the LDS Church) and this year was a definite day for some Pioneering of our own. A day of firsts, both bad and good.

Oh sure, RINNY BEGAN celebrating in HER way (Pioneer Day (and Saint Patrick's Day) is one of the most important and exciting holidays in the Pink and Fluffy RinnyWorld... she wraps her hair in rag curls the day before, dresses in pioneer dresses all day, bakes bread all day, and drives us nuts playing the Trail of Dreams soundtrack (she played the first Bodil Mortensen... well, first except the real one, in pioneer times. HA!) on repeat at top volume. But ended up being uncharacteristically brave and leaving on a weekend camping/hiking/river rafting trip in Idaho surrounding the Twin Falls Temple open house! I am proud of her.

My little "foster kid" however, is not doing so well. Actually, pretty much feeling like if we WERE Pioneers, I might be one of those moms burying their babies by the side of the trail and I was crying and crying. When Josie was sick before, she had a stomach thing. Her little premie stomach just couldn't handle the food she thought she was ready for and it made her very sick. But this was... well, IS... worse. She has a very scary infection under where her horns were. She screams in pain when you accidentally touch her head. I took her to work and the top farm workers told me to put Preparation-H on it to draw out infection and just keep an eye on it. But after that... she started losing balance. And then, Wednesday or so she was SLEEPING ALL DAY. Lethargy is NOT a Josie thing. She is the most hyper critter EVER!

I had NO confidence in Preparation-H solving something like THIS. I was pretty sure being all sleepy like that meant it was systemic and spreading. AND I knew she needed to see a vet and get an antibiotic before I REALLY lost my baby along the "trail." So, since I was not actually able to drive right now, Mom came with and we took off for the farm to get little Josie and her yucky pussy head taken care of.

But before we got very far we saw thick billowing smoke coming from a under the lid of a household dumpster! It was in front of a neighbor's house and we stopped in front looking at it. It was sort of a yellowish color. I pulled over and went to the house to knock on the door and tell the homeowners, but they weren't there. I went to the can and my mom yelled "be careful, what if it explodes?!" but I felt the side of the can and it was hot but not super hat, so I stood BEHIND it so if I lifted the lid nothing would, like, make my head burst into flames. But there was a LOT of smoke coming from a black trash bag and it was very thick and yellow and smelled POISONOUS, so I dropped the lid and headed back to the Jeep to breathe. (I suspect it was something scary and flammable left in too hot of sun that started.) My mom said "what should we do? Should we just check on it when we get back from the farm?" and (this is where I feel quite proud of me) I said, "No, we call the FIRE DEPARTMENT!"
"Like the fire department?"
"Yeah, Mom!"
"Oh, I don't know if we can do that!"
So I picked up my phone and called. I told them the address. They asked the color of the smoke. They asked the distance of the can from the house. And they said that a fire engine was on it's way but that an officer was right by and would come immediately. He arrived and told us "we don't know what is burning in there, so let's have you guys parked further back at a safe distance." Then he talked to us and told us to actually leave the street, so we asked if we could just GO because as curious as we were to see the END of the story, as fire engines were roaring up, the people at the farm who could help Josie were going to LEAVE at 3 and I was really worried about my kid. He said we could and I left unfulfilled. But still... pretty crazy, eh?!

Well, Josie's little check up with WeatheredLeatheredFarmLady was good because she agreed that Josie was very ill and needed further treatment and BAD because she needed to get permission to have a vet see her from our favorite person Sgary.

HATEHIMHATEHIMHATEHIM.

He won't pay for vets or medicine for any but the "profitable" animals and we have "plenty" of goat kids and "if she dies, she dies."

Yes, THOSE WORDS.



However, WLFL said she did have some penicillin left over from another animal and could call up a vet friend for an un-official diagnosis and dosage. We did so and started injections. They hurt her pretty bad and she screamed QUITE loud. Poor little baby.

But after that things got better and she impressed me with 3 HUGE milestones!

When we got home Josie, though still very sick and sleepy, 1. ate (actually ate, swallowed, not just chewed on!) a substantial amount of hay! 2. stole an apricot and ATE IT!!! 3. DRANK WATER FROM A BOWL FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!!!!

When she drank that water, I started to cry. Because I knew that even if it was going to be very very hard (and it likely was) that the MANY prayers I had said this week had gotten through and that Heavenly Father was telling me that Josie really COULD get through this and be weaned and generally things WOULD be okay.

It's just all really hard. I love this Goat.

Happy [and SAD!] Pioneer Day!

And Then.

I have been sick and Depressed.
And then...
Josie got rather sick and I got MORE Depressed.
And THEN...

My house flooded. (Yes, AGAIN. Only this time worse, as this time it has to do with the sewer main. In other words, poop and pee that was FLUSHED came UP INTO MY BATHTUB and even WORSE into the drain in my laundry room... and then family room and bedroom and glider room...

In short, I can't use the water in my house. Nor can our Neighbors. We have no water and my home has sewage in it. We can't wash dishes or take showers. So once again, I am going to the Padres... goat and gliders in tow... to stay for what sounds like may be as long as TWO WEEKS now. As I was hearing 3 days, yesterday, this is not a good thing.

It started like this. I was already all stressed out because I really needed to get to work early. Monday's day camp? SpongeBob Science. And before actually teaching the truth about the biological counterparts of the Bikini Bottoms crew I really needed to:
*Get the Hermit Crabs set up at the Discovery Gardens classroom (Mr. Krabs' got nothing on my little cuties for holding kids' interest, I tell you! ).
*Give Josie her breakfast bottle, and put her lunch bottle in the farm fridge before leaving her at "Day Care" (the sheep pen!).
*Get some last minute supplies to CrazyConnie (who still rocks, p.s.) because Rinny is doing some extensions office thing in Logan. She's all busy right now being famous, too. She has been on the news a few times being all Rinny-ish for the PR people (they like her) on behalf of Thanksgiving Point even though she is just Education, technically. But they have sort of been using her as the poster girl for, well, WHATEVER! So, when Good Things asked for TGP's CHEFS to come, TGP said, "yeah, see, the Chefs don't WANT to be on TV. How about Corinne does some day camp stuff instead?" And they decided okay. You can watch it here. The best part is when the news chick chokes on peanut butter. (I really wish I could SAVE it. It is about to disappear off the site!)

So I was HURRYING to get to work when I stepped in a PUDDLE in my hall. A BIG puddle. My first thought was "Josie, how the heck did you..." but then realized this was way beyond the extent of my little goat's bladder. I was running out the door, and called my padre's, on the verge of bawling. "I think my house is flooding and I am late to work! Can you check my house please?"

Well, they said yes, but apparently DIDN'T rush right over... and by the time SpongeBob Science was over and I could call home Mom had BAD news. The whole hall, bedroom, glider room and part of the family room had flooded with yucky sewer and drain water. All of it has to be replaced. These guys, an EXCAVATION CREW, are coming to take out the main line. There are cracks.

So, yeah, you might say I am struggling just a little.

I NEED SOME FREAKING HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!



(Thanks Sherpa!)


(when I first read the title of Sherpa's Blog entry with those 2 Sesame Street clips "Feist on Sesame Street" My first dumb thought was "THE CAT?!" Yeah. Because Josie's pussycat friend would be on Sesame Street. THAT makes sense. heehee)

Why I should read plots before watching movies that come on TV late at nights

Oh my mental issues. Depression and I are NOT friends... yet we sure hang out a lot together! GRRRR...

Last night I was dumb. I was already super sad and yet I watched this quirky little movie on TV. It's called Loverboy.

It's one of those movies that has weird parents and kids in it where I start out going "Awesome! That is so the kind of kid I am going to have! THAT is probably the kind of mom I am going to be!"

Then it turns to "Crap. That IS the kind of kid I am going to have. And I am definitely going to be that mom."

And then sometimes "Ohnoohnoohno. When I grow up I am going to drown myself and my kid in the bathtub." And end up bawling till my eyes feel like falling out.

Movies like About a Boy and Martian Child. But those end... Happier.

So I went to bed crying. Josie is sick and that sure doesn't help. My poor baby.

The Ups and Downs of being a Mom [of a Goat]

(I know, you moms of humans are going to scoff, but I don't care.)

Even though I think of my gliders as my babies, my kids, etc, and they ARE, there is just something different about really being a surrogate mother to something. Bottle feeding or pretend regurgitating for "your" baby who really thinks you are Mom. It is just something different and a bond that really gets to your heart. Why is it that I never end up doing some with someone I GET to KEEP?! Because letting them go after that just takes a part of that heart with them.

I have had Martin, Plicethenese, and now Josie. (Marco ALMOST qualifies, as do a few other rescues we've done, but not QUITE.) Martin was my robin. He was brought to me by a neighbor kid after a cat decimated a nest in his yard. Plicethenese was Epiphany and Heber's Baby who she tried to kill, and succeeded in half blinding before I took him away at 3 days old.

But Josie is just cracking me up... and making me cry... she is just making me crazy both ways, really. I love her!

The Good Stuff

*She likes to sleep at my feet or on my lap while I type. I love it. It makes me feel like I have a dog again.

*That FACE. *melts*

*When she prances, dances, and jumps around the room, yard or playground and seriously shows off. Is there anything as funny as a goat kid playing? Is there some way to bottle that and sell it? Or would it just be labeled some sort of Meth?

*Her soft soft fur, especially after being brushed. ESPECIALLY her soft, gery, velvety ears.

*When she gets all full of herself and tries to butt me. Or the dogs. Or my DAD. It is hilarious.

*Taking her on walks or to play on playground stuff in the park. Good exercise for both of us.
Plus, while there, she's forces me to be social. She is like 2 friends at once... the super popular one everyone runs over to see AND the super shy one who can't speak and makes ME have to talk to people.




The Baaaaah-d Stuff

*This used to be my cute little ear "buds" for my palm pilot and MP3 player... nice ones... skullcandy. SIGH.


*She can SNEAK into rooms that I swear I shut the doors to. Her little jingly cat bell collar and trip-trap billy goats gruff feet seem to have no effect on this fact. SPOOKY!


*I worry a LOT about her progression. Goats learn so much by example. I take her to work and put her in the pen to play with the other baby goats and sheep and learn what she needs to but so far she is NOT getting it and just spends the whole time SCREAMING. Today was the first day she spent the WHOLE work day in the pen except for a half hour break when I came to give her here bottle. She didn't stop screaming that whole time. She didn't play with the other goats or nibble with them or try drinking from a dish. She stayed far away from the strangers, waiting by the gate for "Mom." I don't want her to be messed up. Spoiled is one thing. But Retarded, literally, is quite another.

Playing Tag with a goat, a clown, and a clarvoyant

I got this from My friend from our Yahoo group the MormonView, Mother Goose.

3 JOYS
1. My critters
2. My Friends
3. Those warm, quiet times when I actually remember how much God loves me and the truth of the Gospel. The Church is a very very good thing.

3 Fears
1. Living the rest of my life the way I am now.
2. the death or suffering of my loved ones
3. speaking in public.

3 Goals
1. Lose weight for better fitness and better diabetes control!
2. Become financially independant
3. get my dang house ORGANIZED!!!!!

3 Current obsession/ Collection
1. Josie the Amazing Circus Goat!

2. Sugar Gliders. Have you seen my babies? They are beautiful.
3. BOOKS. I am addicted to reading.

3 Random Surprises about me
1. I used to be obsessed with ghost stories and the supernatural when I was a little kid. My mom was super worried I would grow up creepy. I held séances in our garage when I was 7 and stuff. Yes, I was a WEIRD kid.
2. I used to be a clown for birthday parties. I can twist balloons. Yes, really.
3. I sometimes do not take meds I should just to find out if I still need them. Ummm... I DO.

Remedial Citizenship?

The 4th of July here in America. Okay, fine, so it's 4th of July everywhere... except, ya know, for time zones. Independence Day. There. Hee hee!

This week we have all been deep in the week long Robotics camp which SOUNDS fun but is in fact... okay, a little fun, but mostly hellishly frustrating. Plus, THIS camp and location is not goat friendly and I know it sounds pathetic, I MISSED my Josie Girl!!! Seriously! My mom tended her and when I came home she would trot up all cute bleating all happy and I scooped her up. I love that little kid. So just being done with THAT is very good. And today I played with her all day... including being semi-invited to a family picnic.

Okay, so the FAM was invited to a thing with the Aunty O crew, but we were gonna be there over 2 different bottle times. So I told Mom I would just stay home... but she called and asked if it would be okay if Josie came and they said "Uhh... that should be fine..." Not exactly an enthusiastic invitation for my baby (understandably so... really, I know. I mean, "hi, can we bring a goat to your party?" But she is my baby right now...) BUT they were super nice... and I am pretty sure her cuteness... especially letting the kiddlet cousins feed her bottles (all the parents took pictures), and seeing her run with the kids alongside the Slip-n-Slide and playing with them all (it's fun for her to be with little folks closer to her own size. hee hee) ... won EVERYONE over!

She is pretty dang adorable after all.

Then some of the cousins and kiddlets left because they were off to Stadium of Fire to see the Fireworks and the little girls were in a frenzy over getting to see miss Hannah Montana herself. (I would like to see Blue Man Group, but the last time I actually went to Stadium of Fire it was All 4 One. hee hee! Yeah, it's been awhile.)

Anyway, we had a pretty good time and everyone is getting so old! I remember when Brett and Annie lived with us in our house in Provo when they first got married... now they have, like, 5 kids. Very cute ones, too. And Alisha, who actually lived in GRANDMA'S basement (even though they are the other side of the fam) when she was, like, 2 was there with her fiancé! I can't BELIEVE they are old enough. ('specially they both look, like, 14.) It was weird to realize how big the little ones are getting. Wacky.

Then we went home to watch the Padres' "Neighborhood of Fire"... or rather we WENT and then Josie and I took off because I was done with family and my head hurt and I was not feeling all that cool right then. And Josie should be in bed. So here I am, HEARING fireworks, blogging, and feeling my little goat asleep on my foot.

OH, and in honor of our countries birthday, it's a dang good thing I was BORN here. Because for kicks and giggles I took a citizenship quiz.

"You answered 45% of questions correctly. Here's your rating:

45-60%: Not too bad, but you really need to break out the civics books again -- word is, the INS is looking for an 80 percent score."

Happy Birthday, America. Sorry for sucking! hee hee hee!

Broke, Broken <3ed, and Breaking Away

A couple a days ago I had a "disagreement" with Padre as usual... but this one went somewhere. My Palm Pilot died and I bought another.

He saw it at church and looked up online how much it cost and decided it was way too much. He did the same thing about my camera.

He freaked out.

*I* freaked out back and told him I used my OWN money so it should not matter to him.

His answer was, as usual, that as dependent as I am on them, I DO NOT HAVE "MY OWN" MONEY.

I have heard this before. Mom and I have talked about it and I have said how I WANT to be, essentially CUT OFF just so it is none of the padres' business what I spend it on and be independent. But between how much my medications cost and how little I can work sometimes because of my medical problems, being even REMOTELY financially independent was just not a possibility.

Okay, here is what has changed. I finally got accepted to Medicaid for prescriptions. Therefore, $3 for stuff I used to pay $300 for. I can do that. Therefore, we had a little talk and I said stay out and he said not while I am responsible blah blah BLAH so I said you are NOT.

So, I will see how long my independence can withstand on a part-time job and a lot of pain. But I think it is a good thing. Anyway, I needed to do it (though my mom doesn't agree and is sad FOR me and dad is furious at AT me.). And except for rent right now because mom said dad is not going to charge me rent, I am paying my own way FINALLY. At least... as long as I can. Just may shop as often or ever leave my house.

The Broken Heart part of all this is just DUMB. There is a guy who's done bird shows for us before. He helped with the owls. He is cool (probably married, but whatever.) and funny and has a bunch of awesome birds (I know that's not a turn on for normal people, but hey, I have sugar gliders for children and carry a baby goat with me when I go shopping.). And, even thoough it is hard to tell in the owl slides he also happens to be rather cute and look like Fresno. So he comes over to us while we are cleaning up after robotics yesterday and starts chatting with me and I am talking all comfortable and sort of flirty. Then I get in the car and see myself in the mirror as I LOOK after a whole day of day camp of 11-14 year old boys and plaster of paris and 100 degree weather and catching tadpoles. I started to bawl.

I looked like crap on a crap pile and felt worse. The idea that I 1. talked to a boy pretty much because he looked like Fresno 2. still ever think about Fresno and 3. talked to a boy looking like me... being me. Yeah, I know how emo that is. But that's what I was feeling.

Followed that up with a really hard appointment with Dr. Apparently. Cried a bunch there. Like, non-stop. Went home with the puffiest red eyes, and my muscles aching. I cried into little Josie's fur and she cheered me up with her antics.

Seriously, that kid is hilarious. She just DANCES everywhere. She is a little beautiful animal. She plays on everything and play fights with anyone that moves. We play and she makes me giggle and stuff. What can I say? Little critters cure a host of ills... at least for an hour or so.

Makes me feel better about my plans to be a single "crazy cat lady" (but not with cats, with everything else) the rest of my life. Josie is adorable. My gliders are too. And I love my turtles and other critters mean a lot to me too. My little zoo is my solace.

I want to KEEP my Foster Kid but I can't afford a damn farm.

I was explaining this to Steph earlier who got it so hopefully this won't sound stupid to everyone else either. The reason I haven't been writing lately is I feel like a hypocrite and I don't want to feel like a hypocrite. ("Doin' the Hypocrite Rock rock!" Yeah, I still like Scripture Scouts. I AM a dork.)

I am having a particularly hard time emotionally right now. We have been adjusting my meds, continuing therapy, and working on it from other directions (I am on "meal time" shots, too, now)... but I still mostly feel like I am only half living, and am not "correct thinking" sometimes, which means 1. I finally got approved for one of the lower plans on Medicare (Yay!) and 2. Have been living at my parents' house and under their supervision since January. This week I moved back in to my own home with The Roomie and my critters! Unfortunately the reason I convinced everyone I could go back home WASN'T because I was doing so well, but because I had PROMISED the roomie I would tend the birds (and my own critters) for her big week long hike to Havasou which is now.

Right now the dealio is I HAVE to check in with my parents everyday. Which works since my mom babysits Josie the days I am in charge of day camps. But I am getting ahead of myself. Anyway, they think maybe after The Roomie comes BACK from her hike I should come back to the homestead, but I am negotiating. ;O) hee hee!

So, yeah, struggling. HOWEVER, the crazy part is I have been DOING super fun things! WHY AM I SAD?! It's not fair to be sad when things are good! That's screwed up! Besides being screwed up it makes me sound stupid and fake and hypocritical! "Life is so good! I want to die! Yay fun! I hate myself!" (Wow, that was a LOT of exclamation points.... bugger it. I meant them. They equal emotion, I was being emotive.) Grrr...

But anyway the good things, and I mean REALLY cool things. 1. Parkerisa and the Mini-Fringe HellBaby and new baby, Tommy came from Illinois to visit! 2. I got a foster kid and fell so in love with her it may rip my heart in to pieces to give her back when the time comes... oh, that last part is not so good. But Yeah.

For those of you worried that some deluded child services worker has given me the care of another human being, I mean LITERALLY, a KID. Josie is a baby goat. A Nigerian Pygmy goat to be specific and she is adorable. Her mama rejected her, now she thinks I'm mom. I bottle feed her every 4 hours, let her potty inside my house when we don't make it outside (though we are trying out diapers), worry about her sniffles, and laugh at her hysterical antics. I will have her till she is weaned and then I think I may die. I am so attached. She is horribly spoiled. She is also, unfortunately, every ounce AWARE of how cute and tiny she is and pushes every rule.

I am worried for her. She was a very tiny preemie and not expected to live, so some things are developing GREAT, others she is coming along, others she is behind. I can NOT get her to lick water from a bowl to save her life, though she loves to chew everything in sight. She loves to play and butt and jump onto EVERYTHING, but has major attachment issues when I leave her. It is back and forth. I want to keep her so bad, I have looked into houses with land and SHOCKINGLY (HA!) there are no small farms for rent for under 400 bucks with in commuting distance of work.

For now just trying to enjoy the moment... and learn to heat up bottles faster, change a GOAT'S diaper one handed, and cover the bruises my baby gives me by LITERALLY walking all over me.

Many MANY pictures to follow (of Josie, the wonder goat, not my bruises) as soon as I can find my dang connector cord that said housegoat has probably dragged away to hide and chew. Naughty little brat.

So, yeah, THE FRINGE WILL REAR AGAIN!!! At least Parker (and Risa and HellBaby and Tommy) and Me. And I will finish THAT story later because it is late and I WAS in bed till Josie woke me up and I decided to hold her and blog a little. TA DA! More later about Parker and Sue and MommyDearest and day camps and Stewie's baby shower and my awesome friends etc.