If everyone's Special

So this song just came on and it made me think a lot...

He Gives Flowers to Everyone
(Cherie Call - Tyler Castleton)

She didn't try to catch the bouquet
She knows it's not her turn, and it's okay
Usually it doesn't even cross her mind
That's what she likes to tell her friends anyway
But she can finally say, maybe it was for the best
And there are lots of things she hasn't even missed
Now and then she starts to feel alone
But then she looks outside
She knows she's got roses of her own

Cause He gives flowers to everyone
Not just the girlfriends or the brides
He sees the beauty deep inside
And He gives flowers to everyone

She hangs up the green satin dress
She laughs at how they're always out of style
It was just like all the others in the line
And when they asked her she told them
She'd never been more fine
But still she wonders what it would be like
To talk to someone when she gets home late at night
Sometimes she likes to pray out loud
That's when she knows she's not the only girl alone in a crowd

Cause He gives flowers to everyone
Not just the clever or the elegant
Her cares will never be irrelevant
He gives flowers to everyone

And when they're out of season, she has snow
And when she's in the desert where they hardly ever grow
He gives her diamonds in the midnight sky
Season after season, His love will never die

He gives flowers to everyone
Not just the mothers and the wives
He sees the beauty in our lives
And He gives flowers to everyone

This is one of those times that is meant to be inspirational and make you feel better. But in a way it makes me feel worse on days like this. I am feeling lonely today and it is like the phrase "in this life or the next" or something that really doesn't feel all that helpful thanks anyway. Anyway... I am in a MOOD.

I did go to (part) of Church though. That is good. Church is good. Relief Society was about the importance of continually Learning. I am glad I went, though my head felt horrible. I got more info on what they wanted me to do for my church calling (volunteer job for church) as Compassionate Service. Basically, I send out birthday cards. Or if someone has been sick a long time then they plan to make meals or something which, as the girl tells me,"has never happened... oh, except you, but we just found out. So we should have been doing stuff for you. I guess we still could?" I told her no thank you, I was fine. I went home and cried an hour or 2.

I know God loves me. I know that his teachings through the church can help my life. It is just frustrating right now. Normalcy seems a long way off still. And the people that make me FEEL normal and social aren't exactly right next door either. I shouldn't feel so alone. I just do.

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can fly only by embracing each other." L. deCrescenzo