Friday, November 10, 2006
Body, You'll be Sorry!!!
I know! It is late! Or early! But it just so happens I went to bed hours ago. HOURS... like 3 hours ago and I am bored. Not sleeping, yet being in bed, is very very boring. I feel so bad for those little kids parents send to bed when they are not tired. Never mind that their little legs won't stop wiggling! Okay, so maybe not every child sent to bed early also has Restless Leg Syndrome. But I do, and did back then too (so there) though not as bad as now when it is REALLY DANG ANNOYING and right now meds are not helping.
It is just one of those factors that does NOT help insomnia. I am laying here and my legs can not stop JIGGLING, they feel crawly and pins and needley if I don't move them. It happens in the day too, but never as bad as at night when it is out of control when it almost HURTS I need to wiggle so bad, sometimes even after I fall asleep they wake me up JIGGLING.
No wonder I have dancer calves... my legs are exercising WITHOUT ME!!!!
I want to scream right now. Instead I just... type. Type and jiggle and pray for my body to be so exauhsted that I just fall asleep regardless. SIGH. I have things to DO tomorrow, you know, Body. Sleeping all day is not an option. Physical therapy for YOUR dumb neck and head for one, so don't blame me. AAAARGGGHH.
I feel like thinks are popping in my muscles... like popcorn under my skin but the longer I try to ignore it and hold still the worse it gets. How am I supposed to fall asleep with that? The fact is, I am NOT. Doctors are giving me various crap to try but this particular selection does NOT. Can we say placebo?
And then there is the normal insomnia of me... ie: my mind has 4,000 thoughts in it going a billion miles an hour and they don't like for me to sleep. It's not that I am not tired, so much, it is that my anxiety disorder gives my brain far too much to do (even when I am thinking of happy things... case in point: Fresno.) to even consider being tired.
And so it is almost 4 am and I am awake. My legs are creating a small earthquake, and my brain feels plenty awake and like I should go run errands (Wal*Mart? IHOP? What else is open? Not that I HAVE errands at IHOP but I would love a crepe, too bad that would be very bad for blood sugar levels that I need to get under control again after cheating with Smarties) but I know better as I WILL crash before my real appointment times and then I will feel sick when I need to be places on purpose so it is a lose-lose-lose-lose-lose-lose situation.
Mmmm... crepes... it is a dang good thing that IHOP does NOT have a drive-through. I am too embarrassed by social stigma to go and just eat breakfast at a sit down restaurant alone, but I can guarantee if there was a drive-through I would have a crepe before I even finished this blog post.
ANYWAY, maybe I will take a very hot bath and try to boil the wiggles out of my jumpy legs. I don't know that that works, but it is something else to try, and I don't have any leeches. SIGH.