I am having a rather bad headache today and to be honest, it is making me really really nervous. Because it could be nothing... but it is almost feels like the beginning of THE headache. Which scares the crap out of me. I have been REALLY grateful to Dr. YeahBaby. But it's not, after all, a CURE. It should work, like 6 months. It has been 5. That's close. And I am nervous.
I am not ready for that stuff again.
I did go to church, though. The Special Park ward again. I dunno.
The other things in my life... hmmm...
Last night me and Fresno had a good talk on the phone. Lots of apologizing and being honest. It was a short one (my phone was dying), but we plan to talk today, too.
OH this is hilarious... yet seems *blush* appropriate to the situation.
VideoJug: How To Kiss Someone Passionately
You know, even with the GOOD stuff in my life (Fresno, an entertaining job, etc.), I admit I feel a little jealous of my friends and family right now. I am not sure what direction my life is headed. Rinny is being sent on trips with her job... her job that is far more career than mine. Mali is teaching! CC is an accomplished artist! Everyone keeps IMPRESSING me. And I am super happy for them, I really am. But part of me just wants to kick fate... I like what I am doing... but it can't be forever... it doesn't even get me benefits. Doesn't pay me enough to be independent.
But my life is so discombobulated right now... so up in the air... it shouldn't even worry me. Because good hell I don't even know if I will be living here in a year... or Nevada... or California. Should I go back to school? If so, WHERE? I don't know. What have I accomplished? What SHOULD I accomplish with my life?
Yeah. That has been the type of things I have been thinking (amidst random black and white movies) this weekend.
In very VERY other news, ummm... I am a dork, but yesterday I went in to the store for guppies and mealworms...And came out with hermit crabs. 4 of them. They don't have names yet. They are both mine and the Roomie's. Because we were talking about getting some.
Oh, and by the way, yesterday the Roomie took Oliver the Robin to a reserve. He seemed healthy enough to get by even with his funky wing now, as long as he was somewhere away from roads or cats or other predators. So he was released in a reserve. He is independent enough to stay well and safe, barring anything tragic. So, off with the bandages (they weren't doing much. He was too healed for the splint to help) and off he went. Another sad/happy moment for the Ark.
But yeah... goodbye Robin, hello hermies.
I think we all see one another's accomplishments and certain parts of each other's lives that we wish we had in our own. I'd trade a million and one art shows to have a boy who loved me and wasn't sending mixed up, frustrating signals - or to be done with school and have a real job like teaching.
ReplyDeleteBut I am with you on the thrilled for all my friends thing. I mean, you may not see it, but I'm so thrilled for you all the time just fr the fact that you have a job and you have a decently successful relationship with a man who adores you. And you're thinking grown up things like MOVING. What a big, brave step! I don't think that I could do something like that... but I've never tried.
So I think that as long as you stay close to the gospel - whether the Spirit is yelling or you feel like you don't get direction at all - you ARE being led down the path that you need to go.
:)
AND - if something feels good or right to you, it probably IS right...
So just.... go and do!
I love the snogging vid. hilarious.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Steph.