I dunno. What DO I want to be?

I. am. CONFUSED.

I need to go to the temple and, like, pray about things.
Well, really, I need to do that anyway, but I would like to have a better idea of what I am even ASKING before I ask, if you know what I mean. And when do I need the new barcoded recomend, because I am sort of NOT going to my ward at present but HAVE been going to another ward and may be switching my records.
I don't know.

So, I am always confused about what I should do, but bringing it specifically to the surface is Voc Rehab. See, back in May my Psych thought I should try to get accepted there, like, Disability or something. Which was really hard for me to even APPLY for, never mind the fact there wasn't much chance I would be accepted.

But I tried. I went feeling unsure about the whole thing... and after talking to the VR Witch I felt worse than ever before. I felt not only like I would not be accepted but that I was stupider than anyone could be for trying and a waste of oxygen.

I don't want to go into it. But it was NOT good.

So, color me shocked when I get a letter this week FROM VRWitch saying "because of what we discussed and your medical records I think I can help you!" WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!

Okay, first of all, No. NO NO NO NO. I will NOT be talking to that person again. The only thing I planned to do further with her was to file a complaint against her with the department, to be honest, but I just hadn't got my nerve up yet.

And I still don't know that they can help me at all.

But it was a long shot that I got accepted and so, well, maybe I should at least find OUT. BUT I will not be doing so if it is not possible to change counselors. Because I really can't go through another visit like that.

The REAL problem (because basically, THAT almost ISN'T a problem. Either they switch me to another counselor and I check it out or they don't switch me and I won't go in the office ever again.) is what do I even tell them about what my goals are?


They need to know those. They will ask me what I WANT to be. Because IF they can help me, they would help me with things like going back to school... so I need to know FOR WHAT. And right now I don't know. Not good. :OP

Because I haven't the foggiest, really, what I REALLY want to do. I guess I really want my Bachelor's. But other than that, I have no clue.

I recently retook a Meyer-Brigs thing.

INFJ
Introverted 44%
Intuitive 50%
Feeling 50%
Judging 11%

The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and enterprising and attentive in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people. Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them. Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance. Mohandas Gandhi and Eleanor Roosevelt are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ).

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an INFJ. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the INFJ:

• Clergy / Religious Work
  
• Teachers
• Medical Doctors / Dentists
• Alternative Health Care Practitioners, i.e. Chiropractor, Reflexologist
• Psychologists
• Psychiatrists
• Counselors and Social Workers
• Musicians and Artists
• Photographers
• Child Care / Early Childhood Development

Blah blah blah stuff I already know, mostly. Still, good reminders, I suppose, that the kinds of things I am "suited" to do are usually the same ones I LIKE anyway.