5 minutes till the last Harry Potter comes out... debating going to at least WALMART to get it... RIGHT NOW

Buddy, the Roomie's Senegal is jabbering away upstairs! I don't understand everything but he is DEFINITELY talking. He doesn't like to talk when people are IN the room. Sort of like the "Hello my Baby, Hello my Honey" frog. The Roomie decided she would make a big long CD of Victor and other CeleBirdies that our critters seem to LOVE so much and play it a few hours a day while we are gone. Well, it seems to be working because he sure is CHATTY right now!

Silly thing. Animals make me happy.

Which reminds me, Wednesday, my mom called and said "I just wanted you to know that life DOES go on." I asked what she meant. She said that we had a new deer family frequenting the yard at the Padres... another doe (healthy) and 2 very cute (also very healthy THANK GOODNESS) twin fawns. We are calling the mama Anastasia and the twins Hope and Faith even though we don't know the genders. They are cuties, and barring any malevolent neighbors with poisons, they seem to be giving our family at least a little hope for the future.

Sometimes you have to take hope from weird places. Because it seems a little hard to come by in other locations. Yesterday I went to the hospital for an MRI. 2 reasons. One is that Dr. Princess says my dumb Pituitary doesn't work right so they are wondering if I have a tumor there. The other is that I am supposed to have another MRI to make sure that the lesions in my brain have not gotten bigger or that I have more or anything. I was supposed to do that in, like a few months. But we finally got them to combine the 2 because the next one won't be covered by my insurance. And MRIs are REALLY expensive. And they are looking the SAME PLACE.

So we will see. I think if it were a tumor they would have seen it before now. But maybe not. What do I know? But I have REALLY lost faith in my doctors. Mostly because I have really stupid ones. Seriously.

Dr. Princess is leaving the practice anyway. But his office people are being jerks about even switching to his partner. But after I lose my insurance, since it won't matter, I may go somewhere else anyway. I am going to be spending an arm and a leg wherever. I may as well get a competent doctor out of it. I just don't know. I am just feeling like crying right now.

I want to be NORMAL. I am tired of Depression. I am tired of Diabetes. I am tired of headaches. I am tired of not being... well, and who knows if this is even truly medical or if I am just a messed up tomboy... but not being as "turned on" as I "should" be? I don't know. I am tired of being myself somedays. And I don't even know who that is. What part of "who I am" is ME UNDER MEDICATED and what part of me is just ME. I mean, some stuff I am not anxious to "normalize"... I sure don't mind certain parts of me being "weird." I am REALLY okay with no periods. And I love not having to shave my legs.

But... Normal. HEALTHY. The unattainable. The Holy Grail. SIGH.

ANYWAY, LIFE. BLERGH.

But the sad thing is that for all my complaining and worrying about myself, I am so so so much better off than some of my friends. Remember when I wrote about Amy and Dave? It turns out what had happened was that his car was totaled by a drunk driver. And it's been almost a month. And Dave is still unresponsive in the hospital. He opens his eyes sometimes. But there is nothing there yet. I hardly get to hear FROM Ames right now (understandable) but get updates from our friend Megi on The Alley or this site set up to try and get them some help. You guys, I am SO scared he is going to die. Please continue to keep the Osadchuks in your prayers if you would.

Dave was JUST layed off right before all this... I just can not imagine having to deal with all of these trials. My poor Amy!

In other (sad) news, Fresno called almost CRYING. A final interview for that job he wanted did NOT go well. The guy was a total French shower to him. It was terrible. The thing is, okay, to be honest, *I* think at least he saw the kind of jerks he could be working with and might be saved the trouble. But to him it is just one more dream dashed, you know? And since he really REALLY wanted to do it, I can be nothing but just supportive and it is just silly and sad and he's just miserable and I don't know how to help him. Because I really can't. I just want him to be happy.

I want him to have a FUN job! A job he loves. SELFISHLY, I want that job to be closer to me. But regardless I want him to like his job, whatever it is.

I like that boy. <3 style="font-weight: bold;">Okay, before I end I should AT LEAST say some happy thoughts:

*Last night I *guilt* blew off a friend's sister's wedding and went to a movie (HARRY POTTER!) AND out for Pancakes with CC!
TOTALLY worth it.

*I have no work because of the Utah County Fair! YAY!

*Today after water aerobics me and Mom decided to check if that little Brazilian dinner in Provo, Bona Brazil had Pão de Queijo... those cheese rolls that are so stinking ADDICTING and are really, like my favorite food. Yep, even more than popcorn. THEY DO. BIG ONES. Big ones you can buy individually for a buck 30 which considering some days I feel like buying a 20 dollar meal at Tucanos or Rodizio just so they will bring me the rolls as a side is quite a deal! hee hee hee!

Mmmmm... I want more.

I wonder how late they are open?

(Brazilian Cheese Rolls... Harry Potter... tempting, tempting! Perhaps that AND a bath! Hee hee!)


p.s. just for fun... yup. The WHOLE thing...