Tuesday, February 6, 2007

I'm a "Yeah Baby!", MD.

[Sorry this has taken me so long to write. LOTS to write... tired... etc.]

I need to call my Bishop and tell him thank you for that blessing on Sunday. After the scariness of the day, and the way those blessings ended up working, well, I should probably drive to his house and HUG him. But that would be weird. Hee hee hee! And all of you who have been praying for me. Because, it was just a WOW day.

Have you ever seen this The Best Stuff in the World Logo site? It is silly and addicting. And I spent WAY too much time there Sunday night and Monday morning because I didn't sleep. And that was just because of being scared of the SHOTS! And doctors and the place. I didn't have a clue what I was even getting into then. I didn't know how scary it *could* be. I just hate

Wow. Okay. So, to start with I was supposed to fast from food and water before coming. (Fine with me, too nervous anyway... well, at the time... but then, of course Diabetes and fasting is always a little scary. Especially when my appointment wasn't till late afternoon (so I just slept through most waiting. hee hee) and THEN the office was super backed up.) So I was feeling pretty bleh plus nervous. And that was when Mom and I met Paris and DaddyDearest. She kept my mind off the shots at least with her toddler like antics, but if I HADN'T had a constant headache, I think I would have after spending 2 minutes in a waiting room with that one.

This chick was about 20, was BEAUTIFUL... like a model... but was acting like a spoiled 5 year old
who had NEVER been told no... and had the date wrong for her appointment. And her YesDear of a dad... she started railing on the man... in one run on sentence. "How could you have made an appointment for tomorrow, Dad? Are you really that Stupid? I can't believe this, they will work me in... they WILL work me in because if they don't oh I just can't believe you are this much of a jack*** to get me an appointment tomorrow I am busy tomorrow that would so not work and I am hungry why didn't you bring any food this is so stupid do you ever even think..." ETCETERA... like seriously it went on for FOREVER. And Mr. Grow-A-Pair? He kept saying "Sorry, Sweetie." "Yes, Honey." "I don't know, Sweetheart."

Me and Mom were stifling laughter and
kept looking at each other like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" We both wanted to slap her. When the nurse/receptionist said they COULD work her in I cursed, inwardly, and just REALLY hoped she didn't get to go before ME. I mean, I wanted the princess to LEAVE, but I was hungry and thirsty and didn't want to wait longer due to her tantrum.

"Was I supposed to be fasting? Because I forgot to anyway and I am really hungry I am like starving I want a hamburger Dad get me a hamburger I want one now I hate this you are such an idiot and why do I have to fill out these papers they are so boring I don't want to sign these things and Dad, seriously, why did you wear that suit it looks so stupid you look really really ugly can we get some food now?!"

PLEASE say she has to fast! Because that would be too fun. But she didn't. So apparently Paris got to get her hamburger... but NOT before she had to do a urine analysis and Mom and I had to get a little bit humbled.

She went into the Bathroom for her UA and DaddyDearest quietly asked the nurse, "Can I get the results of that UA? I mean, her mom and I are pretty sure she's using still, but, she says she's not. But I just am
pretty sure she's still using Cocaine." Crap. She's got a problem... other than BEING one, I mean.

"Sir, I am sure she is, but unfortunately, she filled out the whole paper to give you permission and then didn't sign a name. Legally, because she is over 18, I can not
show you a thing... even though you are paying for it."

"Can... can you tell me what to do? I just don't know what to do. I paid for this stuff up front, these treatments, and therapy..."

"She's not going to the therapy, is she."

"No, and it cost me ten-thousand dollars."

"Sir, that is ten-thousand dollars down the toilet if she doesn't want to change. Can I give you some advice?"


"Does she have a job? Who buys her fancy clothes? Pays her bills?"

"I do, but..."

"Well, STOP and kick her out on her butt. You pay for her drugs as well, and she knows it. Because, sir, I may be overstepping, but from this visual, She wears the pants."

Then Paris came out talking and whining and berating her father again and he shuffled away to buy her lunch before HER appointment when I finally got called back myself. Unfortunately, that's when stuff went from a so-horrible-it-was-funny spectator stand point to being the, well,
so-scary-it-was-NOT-funny main event.

So they take me back, have me change into a gown and such, take vitals, all that stuff. The doctor came in, all friendly and just normal and said was I ready for the nerve block and I said I was nervous about needles, he said it was no problem and that I could even have sedation. Then, suddenly, he looked a
t my charts and his face changed and he got serious. He asked me to explain my problem again. Then he explained.

"Well, here is the thing. I looked at your Neurologist's orders and I thought it was a mistake, so I really need to make sure that we really want to do what we are asking."
Yeah. THAT inspires confidence.

"We do nerve blocks here..." he said, pointing lower on a the neck. "...all the time. No problem. But what your doc is asking is a whole different animal." It was too dangerous to put the needle directly where I needed it... he needed to put a needle behind my ear, then thread a tube up behind and under and into my skull where it is. And going up the "epidural way won't work... needs to go further." Then he told us that basically there were 3 places the tube
*could* go. 1. hit an artery and because the steroid is "particles" it would have "catastrophic results"... as in cause a clot, and I would probably die. 2. My spinal chord as he said "also, catastrophe... from the neck down" (paralysis). 3. where it should go and therefore YAY no headache (unless it ends up being this certain bone which means surgery but he said we won't even talk about that yet.) for a while!

I started crying. It wasn't like a typical "okay, here are the risks, now let's do it" talk from a doctor. It didn't sound like he would. I t sounded so scary. To ALL of us. My mom asked "And if it worked... how long would it work for? 3 weeks?"

He laughed. "6-12 Months. If we were talking months I would not even TOUCH this area of risk. Honestly, I had to check the MRIs and things myself just to be sure. Because I just needed to know for sure that she wa
sn't making a mistake. But I agree with your Neurologist. It's what needs to be done. I just didn't realize that's what we were doing today." I said I would do it. I started really REALLY appreciating the Bishop's blessing mentioning the doctor's having "intuition and steady hands."

Then he said "The other problem," and he squeezed my hand, "is with this I can not have you under sedation. Because I need you to tell me if you feel weird things."

I got super scared again. He told me that FIRST he would put in an anesthetic that I would feel go in WITH the tube. If *it* hit an artery, I would feel things, like fingers go numb (rather than, you know, a stroke) and if it hit the spinal column I would go unconscious... asleep... for several hours. YIKES. (but not DIE or be paralyzed.) And But if he got it in the right place THEN he would send in the fluoroscopy and THEN the stuff that could kill/paralyze/help me. So NO sedative so that I could tell him if anything felt wrong.

Then I went into the room and Mom had to leave to the waiting room (and got to hear MORE from Paris the Junkie and Daddy NoStones.). I lay on a table and the nurse first of all put my hair in a hat thing and spread iodine all over the side of my face and head. She strapped me to the table, but said "this is just like a seat belt, and will hold you in place, but you could pull it apart if you wanted. You aren't trapped here." (Clearly they are used to paranoid claustrophobics. hee hee hee!)

The doctor said "okay, we are going to start you on an IV now." I tried not to panic, but I am the hardest stick in the WORLD. As in at the hospital they tried one arm, then the other, then back to the other arm, then the back of my hand or my
wrist. I have scars and bruises and have been yelled at by frustrated nurses and I HATE NEEDLES SO VERY MUCH. But guess what? He got it... 1st try! And he didn't STICK my arm, he just looked at it, saw it wouldn't work, and went for my wrist, apologized that it would bruise, but got it right off and it DIDN'T HARDLY HURT going in! It was the best IV EVER! He does Acupuncture there, too, so that is why I think he was so good at it. But I felt so much less scared after that because I just had the thought come into my head "Bishop gave you a really good blessing and this is the best doctor EVER." I still continued to pray the whole time of course, though, because, well, I didn't want to die. But I felt so much more peace than before. Usually I am so panicky I can't breath. I have passed out getting an IV for an MRI and that is way less serious than this. But I was okay this time.

One scary moment was with the first stuff going in, it did one of the "weird things" (a cold sensation in my head) that I had to tell him about and he had to readjust and that was very scary, but then everything went super smooth, though I could FEEL it, this tube in my head, touching my brain. Not a HURT, more like a pinch. It was weird, and scary, but he went along slowly snaking it in there under x-ray and then suddenly the doctor YELLED, "OH! YEAH! That's a solid 'Yeah Baby' right there!"
The nurse looked a little startled but amused and said, "Did you hear that, [Kipluck]? You're a 'Yeah Baby'."

Then the doctor yelled again, VERY proud of himself "No, Yes! That is BEAUTIFUL! Yeah Baby! Nobody move, nobody breath, we have it PERFECT!"
I took him very literally and pretty much held my breath the rest of the time as he injected the killer/helper stuff into the tube and waited.

And then it was over. They let me get up (though dizzy still) and Dr. YeahBaby asked, "Okay, so first question, How is the Headache?"


"Great! But that's just the Anesthetic."


"That'll last about a day. You should rest t
oday. The steroid should start to work with in the next 5, though. You did really good. We'll give you some papers to keep track of things and get you back here to follow up in 2 weeks to check things. But let's go see your Mom."

SO, HOW COOL IS THAT?! So far, the headache is GONE. GONE you guys! Stupid Occipital Neuralgia... GONE... maybe for a long TIME!

The downside, of course, is that for awhile I am pretty dang sick. It hates diabetics, you know. In the 500s... fasting. Yeah. So right now I am on insulin every couple of hours. And so that means a LOT of needles. But it is temporary, that doesn't last the whole time. Just right now... sick.

I wish I could get the sick thing under control quicker... I have things to do. Rinny's Birthday is Thursday and she is trying to do manicures, pedicures, hair things, formal dresses, and a COTILLION style dinner at a Country Club... Fresno is coming Friday for Valentine's... my house is messy... BLEH!!!

But The Best Stuff in the World Logo? I'll tell you


  1. ROCK ON. Gosh, I was just thinking the same thing he was at first which is why I commented that it was so routine ... but you had lots more drama than that. eeep.

    And I'm a hard stick, too. Sucks.

  2. Stupid work...I couldn't read the entire thing but I wanted to say that I am thinking of you. Will get back to you later...lol

  3. Wow, that's quite the story. I was at the edge of my chair the whole time until I realized, DUH, if you were writing then everything went well.

    I wanna smack Paris, but even more I wanna punch her father.

    You're doctor is funny, uh, he got really excited and if I hadn't read the whole thing I'd be worried about where that was going!

    SO HAPPY things went well!

  4. I am so proud of you for being brave! Hooray! Take care. :) I love you!

  5. Wow! You are a brave soul. What a relief to be done with that!