Thursday, February 15, 2007

"Your art was the prettiest art of all the art"

I am having a hard day today for no real reason.

My depression's just kind of kicking my butt at present. I was just watching Scrubs and the goofy ex-brother-in-law of Cox Brendan Fraser played reminded me so much of Brady... the silliness, seriously, was SO like him. Actually, he reminded me enough of Brady, I felt like calling my Mom or Megs and saying "watch Scrubs. Brendan Fraser is Brady!!!" except that I just KNEW, CRAP, he is TOO much like him, I bet he dies. And then he did. And I CRIED. I cried watching SCRUBS. Scrubs?! How lame is THAT?! It is a comedy! A funny one! Hence calling it a comedy... yeah. I am an idiot. SIGH.

Scrubs made me cry.
But no. I refuse that answer. Brady being dead made me cry. Depression made me cry. Scrubs just happened to have a semi-serious moment at an inopportune time for me. Yeah.

Actually, I think this whole crazy mall shooting thing in Salt Lake, well, when it was happening it just ticked me off because it made me miss 24. (Yes, I am THAT selfish some days). But with the whole Memorial Service stuff for it today, I think it just has me thinking about Brady and 9-11 too much and just... yeah... everything.

But ANYWAY, today I went to to the doctor, Dr. HasaPsychoWife. He's the one that mostly deals with my diabetes and my depression... well, he's the one that isn't the biggest idiot anyway. He switched me from Glipizide to Actos for my diabetes, and after doing one of those dumb, long, "I want to curl up and die a) never b) rarely c) sometimes d) frequently e) always" questionnaires ("I'm an 8... Moooooorphiiiine!") also switched me BACK to Celexa instead of Lexapro and gave me a referral to a psychologist which is good since I have been needing one and so we will see how that all goes.

Anyway, then I *did* go to water aerobics like I promised at least so, hey, one triumph at least. After that I came home mixed up this month's BML for my gliders, watched The Office... and Scrubs... and laughed at both, naturally. Especially Jim turning into a vampire. And that bat was way too cute. I want a bat.... but my gliders are close enough. And I should go feed them now.

It's just been one of those days.

OH p.s. I am seriously applying for a position to develop the youth program at TGP. I'd be writing curriculum, filling in for tech support, helping tour guides, teaching, and, yes, probably end up taking care of hurt bunnies and cows and stuff!!! And dinosaurs! Not hurt ones... I mean I would be near the museum and I love that place. AND I would be working under my sister. But still, it would be a good job for me, if I can get it, and at least I don't apply directly TO my sister... I go to HR... and they report to my sister because she is even higher up dammitall. Sometimes... nevermind... yeah, good for her. She did good. She actually has a career. She has a career and a degree and I have scars and pills. ANYWAY, I still want the job. And, one positive of having Rinny for a boss is she actually IS good about changing schedules around to fit things... not just for family, I mean for all of her employees. Yeah. So it would be good. So I am applying and I hope I get it... I think.


  1. DUDE... that Scrubs made me BAWL at the end.... I was feeling all emotional anyway, but YEAH. I think that it was one of my favorite though... like brilliant and stuff... because when Cox got back and JD said "He coded 20 minutes after you left" and I THOUGHT it was the brother and then he was right there and I was "oh.. it was the old guy. why is Cox freaking out about the old guy." And then the end and when Cox was crying and...

    Yeah... don't feel dumb. Because that seriously makes ME feel better. Gah! And I didn't even have a cousin to compare him to.

    Good luck on TGP thing! That's a lot of organization! You can do it though. That would be fun. :)

  2. I hope you get the job at TGP. That would be uber great. And I'm sorry about the Brady reminder...I was pretty irritated with the news as well (I emailed Fox 13 and complained a great deal) and I'm still rather irritated about the whole shooting. Obviously I feel bad for the people involved in such a tragedy, but why on earth are we putting so much emphasis on them and not on all the people who are victims of terrible crimes? Seems extremely lopsided. My dad said it best: "So if you die with someone you are remembered, otherwise no one cares." Pretty much.

    I think of Brady more frequently than you might think, not having known him at all. I'm sorry he's gone. *hugs*

  3. ok.... I have to say right here... that ALL the people emailing and complaining to the stations for interrupting 24 and crap...

    WHAT THE HELL?!!? are you kidding me??? It's an effing TV show that WILL be rerun later.... good hell. People lost their LIVES. But all anyone cares about is that some awesome TV show was interrupting.

  4. Well, at first I was mad at Fox because of the WAY they handled it too. Because they didn't tell what happened! It was like they had no news! The other channels did, however. And also I was highly irritated that they made sure not to miss a single commercial. For all their talk about people's lives being more important than a show (true... and besides they are rebroadcasting tomorrow, for crying out loud), they sure didn't think they were more important than the all-mighty dollar. *grumble grumble*

    ANYWAY, mostly I just can't watch any of it right now. It all reminds me too much of Brady and makes me feel sick.

  5. I had one of those days this week too... well two actually.

    I'm glad I've never seen that episode of scrubs, sounds sad.

    I did however almost wet my pants at the Office.