Friday, September 22, 2006

Cookies, Turtles, and ADD

The Roomie made COOKIES!

Really yummy TURTLE cookies!

(Turtle = nuts, caramel, etc. Not Turtle = Captain Michaelangelo Tortuga) I want MORE...

Dumb Crystal Light... you're not cookies!

Anyway, she and I are just chilling here at home and watching some silly old Doris Day movie, called Glass Bottom Boat that is cracking us up.

But previous to this fun stuff, well, it's been quite the TRYING day. I went to the doctor and ended up being there for FOREVER! I had to take a bunch of psychological tests. My mom had to take some, too, you know... about me. I had to answer all these questions, twice... once about me now, and once about me as a 13 year old. (probably looked much worse than things WERE as a kid as 13 was a REALLY bad year for me.) But as for the now stuff... yeah. I hate answering that stuff. I cried a lot. It was embarrassing. Especially the whole, you know, thoughts about death thing.

Oddly, besides the referral, I also got some totally different meds to try... because they are looking more at ADHD (but it isn't Ritalin) or possibly Bi-Polar than my regular depression and such. Neither new diagnoses would surprise me, really. The fact is, whatever is wrong with me is not being treated right yet. And so I am willing to try whatever the doctor wants. Probably a combination of things.

But I admit I am really scared to change meds in general. I am scared that changing things might just make things worse... and the way they are now, well, worse is dangerous, you know?

On the other hand, WITH CHANGE THERE IS HOPE... right?

I did go to water aerobics, worked a lot on crunches. Talked to mom a lot about, well, the tests and stuff. Then we went to Shops at Riverwoods to bring my little bro his forgotten wallet. Then out to Chinese which I am paying for now (BLEH...) but it was yummy. And now here I am at home. My roommate has gone to bed now. The movie is over and I am watching some brainless sitcom with the critters (just the gliders and turtle), and thinking about stuff. Stuff I shouldn't because I will just end up sad, but yeah. So am going to stop writing about it, mess around on Gaia a bit, feed the babies, and pretend to sleep so that I have a CHANCE of waking up in time to meet with my ASL class group to film a group test.


  1. Yay turtle cookies!!

    And yay to you for going and getting those tests over with! It's gotta feel good to get past that part and onto the healing!

    Many hugs to you, BethAnn!

  2. YOU CAN DO IT! Um... you can be awesomer than you already are, taht is... ok... mostly you're going to be just fine.. eventually... I believe that. Things are going to work.

  3. "I just love satin. I was married in satin."

    I LOVE Glass Bottom Boat...such a classic.

    It sounds like things are moving forward and that you have a doctor who is trying to figure things out. I think some just...are lame and don't want to worry about things and will just yank you around getting money out of you. So I hope this works, because you deserve to be happy!