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Seriously, can I just leave the house once in awhile without ending up at a doctor, surgeon, or EmergeCare?!
I will spare you TMI's a plenty by omitting the details but
1. I have a UTI
2. I have a yeast infection
3. I am seriously thinking I may decide never to have sex. Yeah, the doctor's visit was that bad.
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I bought my textbooks. I start classes Thursday. I didn't get the library job. (Huge shock, I know.) But I need to get somethings fixed before I find another job now. I am so tired of going nowhere and leeching of the padres for money. I got a refusal letter and just started bawling. I am so scared of school, really. I need something to work for. Something to "be when I 'grow up'."
But what if after all this I can't do it? What if that one teacher was right and and I really do sign like a robot? Am I setting myself up for a fall? What am I going to DO? To Be? Sure seems like I won't be a mom, a wife... nor a librarian, a teacher, a professional artist...
Time to reinstate that dream of roller derby, eh? Hee hee.But yeah, really frustrated with... well...
LIFE.
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I did something stupid to myself today, well, and tomorrow. And now I can barely walk my legs hurt so bad. My knee and my calves and thighs want to kill me. They are succeeding.
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My mom told me what I was wearing, especially my hat, made me look like I was Lesbian. Grand. Because the rest of what we talked about regarding the possibilty I would never get married wasn't enough.
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One of my friends wrote me today and asked what was wrong with me today. She said when she thought of me she felt like her "spirit hurt." We haven't talked in a few days and she just felt like we needed to because she felt like something was wrong with me. On the one hand that is really nice of her, and maybe she is really spiritually in-tune... or psychic.
Or maybe it is statistics, because honestly how many days lately have I NOT been unhappy or in an emergency room?! Assuming I feel like crap on any given day is just common sense.
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Bleh... sorry again. Seriously. I'm sorry. I'm thinking though - you need to look into financial aid. Have you got any? I mean I know that your dad doesn't want you to go into debt, but you're 27 now... and you're an adult.. .and there ARE grants. And you can sometimes get enough money to cover living expenses and everything (well.. maybe except medication stuff in your case). Here's another thought. I think you should start painting (I need to start). I think you should jsut paint and you should sell it on eBay and see what happens. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy, but... well... I ahve a hunch. I have a bunch of other ideas too... but yeah.
ReplyDeleteI love you muchly!
well that's weird... about the signing in thing... I would think you could just use your username and password from beta and be fine... that's all I do when it signs me in under my google account.... I sign out and in under my real account...
ReplyDeleteI don't want the beta version.
and Kelly? Remind me... but otherwise... YEAH - pray for him.