Saturday, August 5, 2006

Ice Cream and Boy-Loving Lesbians

Today was a really long day. Diabetes class was okay, it was on more of food labels but mostly on exercise. Nothing new. I KNOW what I should be doing, I know my target heart rate, I know which are best for my bad joints. But KNOWING is NOT the same as DOING.The most frustrating thing is that I even WANT to do it. Get back to the pool and such, but this stupid healing is NOT going fast enough. I am not allowed to go to the pool for water aerobics till my surgery holes heal. They will not heal well until I get my sugar down. I can not get my sugar down until I am eating better and exercising. I am too tired to walk, too in pain to do anything else, too uncoagulated to do water aerobics. I hate who and what I am.

I know, I know. I am a good person. I am funny. I am nice. I am intelligent.

But I hate the other me. I am diabetic. I am overweight. I am ill. I am chronically depressed. I am an insomniac. I am unemployed. I am BORED.

So I just felt like the whole class was a lot of "you should totally _______ but you can't yet"s. Brilliant. :OP

And then I went home, feeling rather sick and stressed to pull together the big ice cream party I won. I set up everything myself, very frustrated. One small triumph, I did only eat a spoon of the ice cream because though it was half-fat it was still a lot of carbs. I was very happy people came and had fun. It was a neighborhood party and even some of the neighbors came, though the majority of the people were online friends of mine from LinkUp.

I <3 my friends. It was a pretty good party. Well, it was free anyway. And I think I won some SERIOUS kudos from the elderly ladies who make up the majority of our little neighborhood. Always good to have bubbies on your side, especially when you are in the minority (age, marital status, etc) and have a few animals that push the limits of allowability in the complex. (No Reptiles... we have a turtle. No Exotics... we have sugar gliders and a parrot. No Single Roomates (that one is MOSTLY implied)... yeah.)

Also, there are members of our very conservative little neighborhood who believe we are gay. Now the fact that neither of us are remotley lesbian doesn't seem to affect this assumption. Basically we are single and over the age of 21 in Orem, UT. So yes, we must be homosexuals. We couldn't possibly be 2 single young women, having jobs and not really dating anyone and, yes, pretty happy in general about or life together at present. We are not best friends, exactly, but we get along great. We are different, but never ever fight. We like our home and both pay our bills and rent on time. And we both love the critters we share our home with, which makes a huge difference. So, though it seems to confuse the locals, I think we will stay here in this way for quite some time... and we both are pretty firmly attracted to cute boys. Hee hee hee!

Speaking of cute boys, Lark(the roomie)'s family came for the party and are sleeping over right now. I assume they are all asleep now, well, maybe not her poor teenage brother who is way too tall for our couch, but yeah. Well. her mom, being all mom-ish had to go and ask me about if I was dating anyone, who I had dated, blah blah blah. And so now I am feeling all... MISS-Y. I miss MagicalTrevor and... despite my better judgement and all knowledge that he is now a total Jerkface... TexasBoy, MAJORLY. I don't want to miss them. At least Magical Trevor DESERVES to be missed... he is sweet and funny and I broke up with him before we ever really dated because I am not strong enough to be the strong one for him. But stupid TexasBoy dumped ME, and never even told me so, just acted normal and funny and nice and cute and then STOPPED. He doesn't deserve to be missed.

But, suckily, I DO.

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