Thursday, August 10, 2006

Sugar and Spice and Everything Sucky

I feel crappy today so I did not swim... or really do anything else. I am blaming going back on Glucophage... however, I WANT to be on it because diet and Glipizide is so not doing it and my numbers are still really REALLY high like 250 and that's FASTING. Also, having high blood sugar is also probably making me sick as well. Basically it is a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Have I mentioned how much I HATE Diabetes? I HATE Diabetes!

I spent much of today, well, asleep. I am also having a bit of a low time with Depression right now, though I *am* on the right meds for that. I just don't want to do anything... or be with people. Both of which are the exact opposite of a good thing with depression. Very much self-defeating behavior. I know this.

But it doesn't seem to matter if I know it. I am so tired... and achey... I just can't do it right now. And then there is the boy thing. This is really stupid, I know, but it was a year ago that TexasBoy flew here to play. And we had a lot of fun and I really liked him and I thought he liked me and then it all fell apart in September.

So basically, I don't really miss him. I miss him before... I miss THAT, I think. It is like not so much missing one person as missing the concept and good points of all... Speedy Gus, TexasBoy, Magical Trevor... even PoetryBoy, a little bit. I am feeling sort of pathetic and lonely right now. And having a hard time believing it will happen again... or ever "end" happily.

Sorry to just whine... just venting, I suppose.

Stupid boys. *grumble grumble*

Stupid ME.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry, love. I sure have been in places like that before. All I can tell you is this too shall pass. And Mama said there'd be days like this. And all kinds of other trite things. But you know why people always say them? Because they're true.

    Just know that there are at least a few of us that think you're something pretty awesome. And we'd hate to be deprived of your company forever. Hope you feel like being around people soon. :)