Sunday, September 2, 2007

Roadshows and Bird Brains

I didn't know for sure if I was in the Special Ward, like, officially. But I HAVE been going every week except, like, when I went to Sandy to do the signing thing, though only Sacrament... an hour... usually. A few times more, but not often. The thing with my head, though, I THINK I have found a temporary solution besides going home. Find a room, in the dark, lay on the floor and stretch awhile. It's not a good solution, but it relieves the pain a little. I don't know exactly what it is about the benches or something but I can't do them for that long... they pinch just that wrong nerve or something and I can't THINK it starts to hurt so bad. I am going to have to go back to Dr. YeahBaby soon, I think. That, if you remember the last time, well... it's scary.

Anyway, today BOY WAS I AN ACTIVE WARD MEMBER! I stayed All. 3. Hours. PLUS an extra [lame-o] meeting about a ROADSHOW. ROADSHOW. Whiskey Tango...

Yes. really.

I was in sacrament meeting and accidentally was sitting by the very nice Cemetery Plot Matt. (And I MEAN accidentally. I sat down by some scriptures. I didn't know he was passing the sacrament. BLAST.)

So, I am drawing in my journal (it is an awesome one from Megs. It has Wonder Woman (just the regular one, not a fat one, but I still adore Wonder Woman. She is one of my heroes. But then, so is MEGS!) decoupaged on there!) as usual. WHAT was I drawing? Well, at the time, a VERY sacrament appropriate (yeah, I have no clue) rendition of Ricky and Lucy Ricardo as stick figures. Yeah. Embarrassing.

"Do you draw?"
"No. I doodle. There is a distinction."
"Well, could you help doodle the roadshow scenery?"
NO. Doodling, by definition, is SMALL. Scenery is LARGE. And I am almost CERTAIN roadshows are BANNED by the church in... the... No More Roadshows Proclamation. And I do not like teamwork. IF I actually want to do something right I want it done well. This means selecting the best person, artistically, (at work, usually me... among my friends, obviously not) to do it ALONE. No mistakes. And I am busy with work. "Umm... probably not. It would depend on when."
"We'll just work around a time when I see you home."
Yeah. He is my neighbor and can SEE MY CAR FROM HIS HOUSE.
"Uh, Okay."

Damn nice boy. HE SABOTAGED ME!
I don't even know if I am officially IN the ward!
"And by the way, you ARE officially on the ward list. We just assigned you home teachers."
HE SABOTAGED ME AND READ MY MIND!

I come home and the birds start ticking me OF. McKenzie is being adorable and I pet and cuddle her. But BUDDY, on the other hand, tries to BITE said other hand. He throws a tantrum. He is being a but. He tries to ATTACK McKenzie and I can't FIND the perch to separate them when a neighbor comes over to chew me out for having a GEYSER out of my roof. My cooler broke... AGAIN. Grand. So the lady is telling me all this and I am trying to say I didn't know (and really why does that hurt HER? Stupid busybody.) and the birds are yelling in the background I just wanted to tell her "MA'AM, I need you to leave RIGHT NOW because since you are apparently OBLIVIOUS you do not notice I have a TANTRUM to break up!"

So, while I am congratulating myself on how GOOD I was to go to all of church, today has been just TOO MUCH.

I think my Padre/Landie was a bit confused when I called him CRYING about the cooler. He was like "I... I can fix it tomorrow?" He SHOULD... but if it weren't for the day, it wasn't worth tears, you know?

Yeah.

Long day.

1 comment:

  1. Mind readers scare me...

    busybody's make me mad.

    ReplyDelete