Sunday, August 12, 2007

You've Got Male? <:O(

So today at church they talked about how to choose who to marry.

I didn't even finish the meeting. I just left.

How long before I am... well, not NORMAL, but as normal as I was before Fresno? When will I be able to listen to the radio, go to a family reunion, watch a movie, go to a party, see a commercial, etc. without thinking about him?

And then, a few hours ago, I got an email. It was a nothing email. But it was from him.

It is the first thing from him since breaking up. It was just a "hey have you heard of this movie?" type of email and I am sure he thought it was totally fine.

But I don't feel fine.

I don't know if I am mature enough... and OVER him enough... to be friends. Chit-chat about movies and stuff. But on the other hand I am desperate to do just that. Talk to him, about anything or nothing.

But how can I keep it that way in MY head and heart? How can I not want more? How can I keep silly innocuous notes from shredding my heart over and over again?

3 comments:

  1. I hate men. Especially men who pull that crap. GAH.

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  2. He probably doesn't understand how hurt you are by all of this and trying to deal with it. He still sees you has a friend and he has someone else to fill the void - so I am sure he is probably just not thinking that it hurts when you hear from him like nothing ever happened.

    They ALL do it. But I think that maybe you need to tell him that you ARE hurting - so he at least knows. Don't hide it. Stop hiding things from him - especially now because you have nothing to lose so-to-speak.

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  3. (((((hugs)))))
    :-(

    Maybe he needs a small e-mail in return:
    "not ready. need space, please."
    or something like that.

    ReplyDelete