Vampires, Mummies, Witches, but worst of all... DOCTORS!!!!

At least ONE doctor I have is a competent physician, Dr. Hasacrazywife. And he got my EDG stuff moved up. So I go to the hospital TOMORROW. I am really scared.

My mom had surgery today on her knee. I have been scared because SHE is not really scared, usually, about HERSELF. She worries to death over her kids, but not herself. But last night she confessed to me she felt like she might die during the surgery, and was (as usual) worried about us kids if she did. The surgery is not a big one, but my mom has heart things... a murmur and such, and apnea, basically going under for her is a VERY DANGEROUS THING. So she was not unwarranted in her worrying.

I asked her to ask Padre for a Priesthood blessing. But I was still pretty scared. Anyway, she's doing okay. My dad called and she is up and talking and they repaired the pretty significant tearing in her knee and she should even heal quickly. Keep her in your prayers. I *heart* my mama!

That's about all the SCARINESS needed for Halloween. As for the fun part, well, this year it is pretty non-existent. I did try to have fun LAST night. Rinny is in Thoroughly Modern Millie at the Hale and so Mali came with me. But I was hurting like crazy the whole time, and then it got even worse, and I had to leave at intermission to take some heavier meds. I did come back, but felt yucky, still.

So today I have not really felt good enough to do much of anything.

BUT I have been wearing my costume ALL DAY. Yes, all day. In my HOUSE I have been dressed like a witch. A SPRINGY Witch, to be specific. And my self pics are abysmal. But whatever. I'll post them here, umm, later? HAPPY(ish) HALLOWEEN, DANG IT!!!

28 going on 89

And it JUST. GETS. WORSE.

First of all, I was confused. Today was NOT the appointment with my Neurologist who prescribed my the meds to help with my head that ended up giving me a bleeding ulcer that put me in the ER that Jack built...

I have way too many doctors to keep things straight.

Dr. NYB is my Endocrinologist who only wanted to talk about my diabetes when I came to her about other stuff, but whatever. I am now officially insulin dependent. I have my stupid needle and I was bawling when I left. Then I got more blood tests (didn't help the crying situation).

Then I came home to find this email:

We are sorry to announce that the Work When You Want program will no longer be available beginning Monday, November 5th. Unfortunately, the program has not lived up to the original expectations. We will continue to accept work requests for the week of October 29th, but it will be the last week of the program.

Figures as much. Your basic "too good to last" thing.

Also, trying to schedule all my scary procedures... my insurance has decided that even though my stomach is hurting this bad, and I almost certainly have an ulcer, I won't even be having my appointment with the gastroenterologist (and yes I SO had to look up how to spell that) till November 6th and THEY set up my endoscopy.

I know I used to write at least VAGUELY entertaining blogs. Now they are all about my medical issues. I feel like one of those 89 year old ladies who sits around and complains about her "sugars and 'arth'itis"... of which I have BOTH. Bullocks.

"I'm not feelin' too good, man, 'cuz I have genital herpes."

No. Not me.

*I* have a bleeding ulcer and gastritis.

But the guy in TV apparently... yeah, he's got the gift that keeps on giving... and it made me giggle. Because the "I'm not feelin' too good, man" was the last thing said from the show on closed captioning, but it missed the first part of the commercial, so the next thing it read was "because I have genital herpes."

Anyway, back to real life, I am freaking tired of having my medical mystery of a life.

To update...
my head is still a problem, and I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist, Dr. NYB, on Monday.

my foot still has the tumor in it, but the cortizone shots are helping and so for now we are leaving it there.

I will be going to the hospital this week... whenever they call me to say so... to have an endoscopy to look at my stomach from the inside out. They are putting a camera down my throat. I am NOT happy with this idea, but it is the next thing I have to do with the ulcer thing. SIGH.

I am sorry my blogs have been rather BLAH lately. Just not feeling into writing, lately, even though it is my Free Therapy. My life is frustrating me and some days I wish it would end. (No, that's not a suicidal confession... I just WISH sometimes.

Anyway, sorry. I am going to lay down with my headache now.

because my stomach was feeling left out

I went to my first day of my new job today which would have been okay except my stomach was was killing me. Long story short, I just got home (to the padre's) from the emergency room for a bleeding ulcer.

Throwing up blood and all that fun stuff.

I have had IVs and blood tests and it has been a very bad day. And most of it was probably caused by the fact that my Neurologist just told me I was being way TOO cautious about my meds for my headaches and too take them more and they were just too much for my guts.

Anyway, I won't be going to work at either place even though I am scheduled for 3 classes (discovery garden field trip for 2nd grade, spooky kitchen fun, and 2nd grade at the farm, too.). I am so doped up right now I want to cry.

Shell Shock

What a week.

First of all, I tested, interviewed, and got hired at another job. Yay.
It is outbound, calling people for surveys... basically annoying the general populous... and yes, it is going to be boring.

So why accept it?
Because it starts a buck more an hour than TGP and can go up to 4 bucks more.
Because it is local and so much less travel.
But MOSTLY because it is WORK WHEN YOU WANT and that means I can STILL work at Thanksgiving Point and just Fill In the OTHER days with PGM! YAY!

It's a dang good thing I took the typing tests THAT day, though, because the next day at work (teaching Pumpkin carving at Pumpkin Palooza!) I broke my left ring finger in a folding chair. I can still type (luckily I type bad... not "home row") but it is a lot slower because when I accidentally use the broken tip I scream. It is just the bone ABOVE the tip top joint (the distal phalanx)... so I can move it and don't have a splint because that doesn't even help. All I got for it is pain pills. DUMB.

But it is amazing how much something so LITTLE can hurt.

Yes, I am SO jinxed.

I went to a few doctors this week... my Neurologist and Doogie my OBGYN and my awesome foot doctor. I have even MORE pills to take. More dumb medical mysteries.

On the other hand, I am having a pretty good time trying to get this Tortoise to thrive. Poor little dude. I named him Bratanik (means boy cousin). But I have been calling him Little Brudder... even though he does have all his limbs. I am falling for him. I knew it would happen. Even a dusty old tortoise can steal your heart if you let it in your house. SIGH.

He wasn't eating. He FINALLY is, but refuses to eat from a dish. I a still going to get him checked out soon as I get a pay check and find the most reasonably priced herp vet. He isn't well, but I would like to be sure he isn't, like, riddled with parasites or anything.

Bratanik isn't as colorful as his "Brother" Tortuga nor is he as friendly... but hopefully he will get used to us.There are humans, dogs, birds... and we have no idea what his life was like before. In fact there is a HUGE portion of Russian Tortioses in the opet trade that were WILD caught, poor things. So who knows.

But we will do our best to get him well AND win him over!

Workin' It...

I LOVE my job. I hate my health. I am not such a great fan of how much I get paid, either. But I love the job itself. Especially the Harry Potter themed classes because around Halloween it is just EXTRA fun! WE GOT TO LET THE STUDENTS MEET REAL OWLS! I admit I was 10 times as hyper about that as the kiddlets, but HELLO! OWLS!

But as much as I love my job, I am just not getting the hours... and therefore the money for things like a much needed basking lamp for the new tortoise. Also, you know, Groceries... meds... etc. but at least those my family will help with. But their parental devotion only extends to, you know... HUMANS. My TGP wages barely pay my bills, but they do. But for the things that matter to me; my BABIES, I really need more income.

So, I am job hunting. However, the fact that right now I have doctor's appointments a couple times a week makes getting a new job near impossible. "Hi, I will never be at work... can you hire me?"

"I kiss you!"

You know how you shouldn't go grocery shopping when you are hungry?

Likewise, you shouldn't go to the pet store when you are sad and lonely.

Does anyone know the Russian word for Brother? Because that's his name. And I DIDN'T BUY HIM, by the way. He was free, for adoption because someone LEFT him outside Petco.

An abandoned little orphan. Poor Russian for Brother. Nobody loved him!!!

And so, yeah. Now we have a pathetic looking Russian Tortoise.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Okay, 2 hilarious things. First of all, trying to find out what Brother is in Russian (because he is my turtle, Tortuga's adopted brother) and I am searching and the first site with that information (in Romanized pronunciation) is apparently for MAIL ORDER BRIDES! Because Look at the phrases it teaches! (And how many times it says "Marry me" in different ways)

Good day Dobry den Добрый день
Hi / Hello Privet Привет
How do you do / Hello Zdravstvujte Здравствуйте
My dear dorogaya moya Дорогая моя
My sweet milaya moya Милая моя
I love you so much Ya tak lyublyu tebia Я так люблю тебя
How are you? Kak vashi dela? Как ваши дела?
Good Morning dobroye utro Доброе утро
Good night dobroy nochi Доброй ночи
What are you doing now? Chem ty seychas zanimaeshsya? Чем ты сейчас занимаешься?
I dream to meet a woman to share my life with Ya mechtayu vstretit zhencshiny, chtoby razdelit s ney moyu zhizn Я мечтаю встретить женщину, чтобы разделить с ней мою жизнь
Not too bad neplokho Неплoхо
I am happy you are fine Ochen rad chto u tebya vsyo khorosho Очень рад, что у тебя все хорошо
How are you? kak pozhivaesh? Как поживаешь?
Fine, and how are you? harosho, a kak ty? Хорошо, а как ты?
Not too bad neplokho Неплохо
Will you marry me? ti viydesh zamuzh za menya? Ты выйдешь замуж за меня?
I liked your photo and message very much Mne ochen ponravilas vasha photographiya i pismo Мне очень понравилась ваша фотография и письмо
I would like to correspond with you Ya khotel by perepisyvat'sya s vami Я хотел бы переписываться с вами
I understand you ya tebya panimayu Я тебя понимаю
I don't understand you ya ne panimayu tebia Я не понимаю тебя
Unfortunately, I can not yet speak Russian K sozhaleniyu, ya poka ne govoryu po russki К сожалению, я пока не говорю по-русски
You are so cute ti takaya prelesnaya Ты такая прелестная
You are so beautiful ti takaya krasivaya Ты такая красивая
Good-bye do svidaniya До свидания
See you soon do vstrechi До встречи
Good luck udachi Удачи
Bye for now Poka Пока
I wish you all the best Zhelayu vsego khoroshego Желаю всего хорошего
Do you speak English? Govorite li vy po angliyski? Говорите ли вы по-английски? I dream to meet a girl to be together for the rest of our lives Ya mechtayu vstretit devyshku, s kotory ya mog by prozhit vsyu zhizn Я мечтаю встретить девушку, с которой я мог бы прожить всю жизнь
I dream to meet a woman to share my life with Ya mechtayu vstretit zhencshiny, chtoby razdelit s ney moyu zhizn Я мечтаю встретить женщину, чтобы разделить с ней мою жизнь
Thank you Spasiba Спасибо
I am looking for a girl who wants to love and be loved Ya ischu devushku, kotoraya khochet lyubit i bit luybimoy Я ищу девушку, которая хочет любить и быть любимой
I would like to know more about you Mne by khotelos uznat o tebe pobolshe Мне бы хотелось узнать о тебе побольше
How do you do? zdravstvuyte kak dela? Здравствуйте как дела?
For me it's very unusual way of meeting people. (I don't usually meet people in this way) Dlya menya eto ochen' neobychny sposob znakomstva Для меня это весьма необычный способ знакомства
Bye! Poka! Пока!
I kiss you Tseluyu Целую (BoyKid used to say that all the time!)
You are so unusual ti takaya neobichnaya Ты такая необычная
Are you OK? ty v poryadke? Ты в порядке?
I am happy you are fine Ochen rad chto u tebya vsyo khorosho Очень рад, что у тебя все хорошо
What is your name? kak vas zavut Как Вас зовут?
Speak louder, please govori pazhaluista gromche Говори пожалуйста громче
Please, speak slower govori pazhaluista medlennee Говори пожалуйста, медленнее
I Missed You So Much ya tak silno skuchal pa tibe Я так сильно скучал по тебе
Yours faithfully S uvazheniem С уважением
I can't wait for your answer S neterpeniem zhdu otveta С нетерпением жду ответа
You are so kind ti takaya dobraya Ты такая добрая
Please write back Pishi Пиши
Hello (on the phone) allo Aлло
Is that Olga? eto Olga? Это Ольга?
This is Michael Eto gavarit Mikhael Это говорит Михаель
Could I speak to Olga? Pazavite pazhalusta Olgu Позовите, пожалуйста Ольгу
I'll call again ya perezvonyu Я перезвоню
Tell her Michael called peredayte ey chto zvonil Mikhael Передайте ей, что звонил Михаель
Do you understand me? vy ponimayete meniya? Вы понимаете меня?
Is Olga at home? Olga doma? Ольга дома?
Whom am I talking to? s kem ya gavaryu? С кем я говорю?
That's all for the moment Poka vsyo Пока все
I love you very much and ask you to be my wife ya ochen lyublyu tebya i prashu stat mayey zshenoy Я очень люблю тебя и прошу стать моей женой
You drive me crazy ya skhazshu po tebe s uma Я схожу по тебе с ума
I am waiting for your response Zhdu vashego otveta Жду вашего ответа
I need you so much ty tak nuzshna mne Ты так нужна мне
(I wish you) Happiness and health! Schast'ya i zdorov'ya! Счастья и здоровья!
Welcome dabro pozhalovat Добро пожаловать
All I want is you were my wife vsyo chevo ya hachu chtoby tee stala mayey zshenoy Всё чего я хочу чтобы ты стала моей женой
I wish you all the best Zhelayu vsevo khoroshego Желаю всего хорошего
I don't know ya ne znayu Я не знаю
My sincere greetings with ... Ot vsey dushi pozdravlyayu tebya s ... От всей души поздравляю тебя с ...
...(your) birthday! ...dnyom rozhdeniya! ... днем рождения!
...New Year! ...Novym Godom! ...Новым Годом!
...Christmas! ...Rozhdestvom! ...Рождеством!
You are so sweet ti takaya milaya Ты такая милая
(I wish you) Success! Uspekhov! Успехов!
Let's get married davay pazshenimsya Давай поженимся
See you later da vstrechi до встречи
How are you feeling kak ty sebya chuvstvuesh? Как ты себя чувствуешь?
I hope you are feeling well Nadeyus ty sebya harosho chuvstvuesh Надеюсь, ты себя хорошо чувствуешь
I am fine U menya vsyo khorosho У меня все хорошо
I have no special news U menya vsyo po prezhnemu У меня все по-прежнему
Am I speaking fast? ya bystro gavaryu? Я быстро говорю?
Excuse me izvinite Извините
Merry Christmas s razhdеstvom С Рождеством
Happy New Year s novim godom С Новым годом
I wish you best of luck in a New Year udachi v novom godoo Удачи в Новом Году
I can't remember how it's called ya ne magu vspomnit kak eto nazyvayetsya Я не могу вспомнить, как это называется
Please Pozhalujsta Пожалуйста
Is everything all right? vsyo v poryadke? Всё в порядке?
I can't live without you ya ne magu bez tebya zshit Я не могу без тебя жить
Congratulations! Pozdravlyayu! Поздравляю!
Believe me paver mne Поверь мне
one moment please minutu, pazhalusta Минуту, пожалуйста
I dream about the day when we'll be one family ya mechtayu o tom dne kogda mee stanem odnoy semyoy Я мечтаю о том дне, когда мы станем одной семьёй
How is everything? kak dela? Как дела?
Yes Da Да
No Net Нет
Today Sevodnya Сегодня
Yesterday Vchera Вчера
Say that you love me skazshi chto lyubish menya Скажи, что любишь меня
No Problem bez prablem Без проблем
My name is Michael menya zavout Mikhael Меня зовут Михаель
My sweetheart lyubimaya moya Любимая моя
My dear dorogaya moya Дорогая моя
My angel Angel moy Ангел мой
OK Khorosho / Normalno Хорошо / Нормально
Can you say it again? paftarite pazhalusta Повторите пожалуйста
I feel so good next to you mne tak kharasho stoboy Мне так хорошо с тобою
Can You Speak Slowly? mozhna pamedlenej? Можно по-медленней?
What does "khorosho" Mean In English? chto znachit “khorosho” na angliskam? Что значит хорошо на английском?
How Do You Say "Please" In Russian? kak skazat’ "please" paruski? Как сказать "please" по-русски?
I love you ya tebya lyublyu Я тебя люблю
I thank God that I met you ya blagadaryu boga chto vstretil tebya Я благодарю Бога, что встретил тебя
My Russian Is Bad u mina plokha s ruskim У меня плохо с русским
Nice To Meet You ochin priyatna Очень приятно
I need you so much ti ochen nuzhna mne Ты очень нужна мне
Believe me paver mne Поверь мне
I am sorry to hear that zhal Жаль
Marry me viydi za menya zamuzsh Выйди за меня замуж
Love overcomes everything lyubov vsyo preodoleyet Любовь всё преодолеет
I can't live without you mne ne zshit bez tebya Мне не жить без тебя
I need to practice my Russian mne nuzhna praktikovatsa v russkam Мне нужно практиковаться в русском
I must be going mne nado idti Мне надо идти
I fell in love with you from the first sight ya palyubil tebya s pervova vzglyada Я полюбил тебя с первого взгляда
You were sent me by God ty poslana mne bogom Ты послана мне Богом
I'm From (the U.S / Germany) Ya iz (Ssha / Germanii) Я из (США / Германии)
With love s lyubovyu С любовью
I think of you night and day ya dumayu o tebe den i noch Я думаю о тебе день и ночь
I will be right back ya sichas virnus Я сейчас вернусь
Is Olga at home? Olga doma? Ольга дома?
I will always love you ya budu vsegda lyubit tebya Я буду всегда любить тебя
You are my destiny ty maya sudba Ты моя судьба
Tomorrow zaftra Завтра
I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch what you said prastite, ya ne savsem ponyal, chto vy skazali Простите я не совсем понял, что вы сказали
I am happy for you rad za tebya Рад за тебя
You are so open ty takaya otkritaya Ты такая открытая
I see you in my dreams ya vizshu tebya vo sne Я вижу тебя во сне
Give my regards to.. peredavay privet .. Передавай привет ..
Sorry to have troubled you prostite chto vas pobespokoil Простите, что я вас побеспокоил
How do you say that in English? kak eto skazat po angliyski? Как это сказать по-английски?
I understand you quite well ya vas harosho panimayu я вас хорошо понимаю
You are so glamorous ty takaya ocharovatelnaya Ты такая очаровательная
I am the happiest man on Earth because I met you
ya samey shaslivey chelovek na zemle patamu chto u menya yest ty
Я самый счастливый человек на Земле, потому что у меня есть ты
I'll call you later ya pozvonyu tebe pozdnee Я позвоню тебе позднее
Be so kind, invite Olga budte dobri, priglasite Olgu Будьте добры, пригласите Ольгу
Remember, I'm always next to you pomni, ya vsеgda ryadom Помни, я всегда рядом
I'm sorry, what did you say? prostite chto vy skazali Простите, что вы сказали?
I see panyatno Понятно
You are so soft ty takaya nezhnaya Ты такая нежная
I believe in you ya veryu v tebya Я верю в тебя
how old are you? skolka vam let? сколько вам лет?
You are so wonderful ty takaya chudesnaya Ты такая чудесная
I knew I find you ya znal, chto naydu tebya Я знал, что найду тебя
Darling, don't worry lyubimaya, ne volnooysya Любимая, не волнуйся
Do you understand me? vy menya panimayete? Вы понимаете меня?
What? Shto? Что?
Where? Gde? Где?
Our love won't disappear with years nasha lyubov ne prayduot s gadami Наша любовь не пройдёт с годами
You are so honest ti takaya chesnaya Ты такая честная
You are so understanding ti takaya panimayushaya Ты такая понимающая
I can't hear you very well ya vas ploho slyshu Я вас плохо слышу
When should I call again? kagda mne perezvonit? Когда мне перезвонить?
I will always love you ya budu vsegda lyubit tebya Я буду всегда любить тебя
May I speak to Olga? mozhno Olgu? Можно Ольгу?
Russia is a wonderful country rasiya zamichatel naya strana России замечательная страна
You are so wise ty takaya mudraya Ты такая мудрая
Pardon prastite Простите
How is your family? kak semya? Как семья?
Very well ochen khorosho Очень хорошо
Not so good ne ochen khorosho Не очень хорошо
Aren't you sick? ty ne boleesh? Ты не болеешь?
Who is speaking? kto govorit? Кто говорит?
Please, speak slower govorite pazhaluista medlennee Говорите пожалуйста медленнее
I like you Ty mne nraveshsya Ты мне нравишься
Sweet dreams priyatnyh snov Приятных снов
You are so lovely ty takaya krasivaya Ты такая красивая
How is it going? kak dela? Как дела?
Here is my address vot moy adres Вот мой адрес
what do you do for a living? chem vy zanimaitis? Чем вы занимаетесь?
What is your phone number? kakoy u vas nomer? Какой у вас номер?
What are you doing? chto ty delayesh? Что ты делаешь?
I want so much you married me Ya tak silno zshelayu chtobee tee veeshla za menya

The other funny thing? Guess what Brother is? BRAT. I need to tell BoyKid that! I WAS planning something a little more refined (and Russian sounding) for the turtle's name. What is Russian for... ummm... cousin?

Sleepy Sabbath and a Nice Day for a [Red?] Wedding

Today was icky. Yesterday was good.

I woke up feeling bad. Hurting. EVERYWHERE, but my foot was screaming (walked a lot yesterday... under a bunch of medication.) and my head was, too. I kept debating whether to go to church, but decided I need to at least TRY. I want to be worthy of the blessings I so desperately need. So I got ready and went. I made it through about 45 minutes before I had to go home and lay down.

I went home and thought I would take an hour nap and then eat something and take meds. This was at about 2. I woke up at 10:30. GREAT.

8 and a half hour nap. I am sure I will sleep SO well tonight.

BUT YESTERDAY was fun. It was Prism's wedding! She and Sluggo got married in the Salt Lake temple and it was GREAT and very THEM! I loved that.

CC met me at the Trax by Meg's house because she is AWESOME and saved me from driving the whole way on meds. There was a wedding breakfast at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. We got there early so we went to the top and looked at the temple from the window. I still hate those elevators, though.But anyway, the breakfast was pretty fun even though I was hurting.

Yay for times with the girls!


The ceremony itself was, of course, beautiful. (It was in the Temple after all) But I LOVED how Prism and Sluggo seriously did NOT stop holding hands for even a SECOND the whole ceremony. VERY cute.
How cute are they?

MaGurls!


Congratulations to Prism, our Defective Knuck!

Good point, Stewie. SHE can't see him... BUT CAN YOU?!

So many of my friends are having babies!
The following are pregnant...
Bobbie
Granola Girl
Mama Katz
Stubbs
Probably a few I don't know as well or missed...

Oh. And my brother BoyKid claims he is.

(Apparently things work differently in Italy. hee hee hee! He is such a dork. (and a shirtless Missionary! AAAAAH! Shield your eyes!))













But I made the entry itself JUST FOR Melissa's Baby!

bleh. That's right, I said BLEH.

I am sick.

I know. What else is new?

But THE ROOMIE is sick and she NEVER is, so it must "be going around" which is pretty much true of ANYTHING you catch, but whatever. But yeah. He are BOTH sick. Yesterday I woke up too sick to (get this) go to my doctors appointments. I had a horrible headache and was throwing up like crazy. And couldn't get upstairs, much less drive to a doctor.

Then I found out The Roomie was doing the same thing upstairs, though not as much as me since I am just jinxed.

So I spent a lot of time in bed (bleh), in the bathroom (BLEH), and online. Blogging, catching up on Strong Bad emails (long neglected), watching various babies giggle on YouTube.

I was supposed to go to Rinny's play. Actually, I was FIRST supposed to go to my friend Prism's bridal shower, but then had to tell her I would be going to a doctor thing (Dr. Princess' replacement Dr. NYB (I don't know if I ever mentioned her here, just in Losing It.)) and THEN to Rinny's play if I had time as it was the only time I could probably see her in it. But I ended up not being able to do ANYTHING. Nothing. No party for Prism, no doctor. Just feeling crappy. Then my BISHOPRIC called and asked if they could come over and visit. I really wanted to tell them NO, but as me BEING sick (in general) is one of the main reasons for them wanting to VISIT I felt silly using me being sick (in specific) as an excuse to not let them.

So they came over and the critters were being crazy and Heber was in my shirt... so the Bishopric got to meet HIM in an interesting way. I love my suggies. They are my furry little sanity anchors. So beautiful, too. Those little faces. SIGH! My babies mean SO much to me, I don't know what I would do without them to come home to at night... or be home all day with as the case may be. When I am at home, they just sleep in a pouch around my neck (or even in my bra) and pop out sometimes with cute little faces like "Mom. Spoil me!" And I usually do... slipping them a treat and then they curl back against me chirping and purring till they fall asleep again.

I do love them.

Today I am still sick... but not as sick as yesterday. I am having a VERY exciting day hurting, eating saltines, and watching Little House on the Prairie and other fine daytime TV. hee hee. At least I am trying to catch up with my friends...

My friend Melissa had her baby and for a newborn he is SCARILY CUTE! Observe! His name is Trenton. I miss her. When I am not sick I need to go see her. She is my friend from school in Hawai'i that is blind and she has been SO excited to have this baby. It will be interesting to see what she does to adapt all this to her situation. Her husband, Tom, is pretty awesome, so I am sure it will work out, but yikes... I would be scared to death to have a kid and I am not going as blind as her.

Talked awhile with my friend Gilch. It is funny because I was thinking about it and he really has become one of my best friends, even though he just started out as a friend of a friend. I am glad we write.

Amy's hubby Dave is practicing walking with a CANE now. That's pretty awesome progress. They could still use your prayers a lot. (or, if you want, feel free to donate any pocket change you have. They have a TON of doctor bills and such.)

Daddy and the Death-Trap

...would be a good band name. I can kind of see them playing Ska, mostly. ANYWAY...

Family Night with my actual FAMILY... yeah, always an adventure. Just good to do on occasion so I can remember why I moved out. Hee hee!

So, the Death Trap...

First of all, I would like to say my Padre really ISN'T an idiot or a bad businessman. He has done very well for himself... supported our family, and not just getting by. We have had nice houses. The parents are maybe not rich, but well-off. We used to have a pool.

I say this not to brag, but to explain that my dad is not ALWAYS an idiot. I guess his awesome awesome real estate skills make his complete LACK of car (and computer) skills stand out more. But sometimes he scares me. It's like with the computers.

Despite being a smart businessman and running his own business, Padre can not seem to grasp that whole paying for quality thing. He would rather pay for a new CRAPPY computer every year to replace the one that breaks. AND HE DOES. Rather than buy a GOOD computer that will actually LAST, he just buys the cheapest eMachine Best Buy carries... every time it breaks. And complains loudly every time.

He is also very big on having "guys" for stuff, as I have mentioned before. And one of his friends is a car dealer and can buy used cars cheap at auction and stuff for him. So he has him do that, and take our family's Durango in trade. So his Car Dealer Guy gets him this Jeep Liberty that my dad likes. Except ON THE TEST DRIVE it is shuddering and shimmying!

So CDG says he will get it fixed and Padre says great and *sort of* buys the thing.

They "get it fixed" and the padres are driving it around town as sort of a trial period. Then Dad calls mom and says that he has run out of gas even though the gas gauge says half-full. Apparently the gas gauge is broken. CDG says he will get that fixed, but Dad has some things to do and they can't get him back the Durango BACK yet. So they fill the tank, and they go about things.

Then later, the car dies AGAIN when MOM is driving. She is going home from water aerobics and sees the gas gauge go UP... to Full. Ummm... that's not normal. Then the car dies, the steering goes out and she is trapped in the middle of State Street.

"[Padre], did you FILL the Jeep after you drove it?"
"I might have. No, probably not, but you should have enough."
"No. I do NOT."

And she had forgotten dry stuff so she was freezing in her wet swimsuit, in the middle of a busy street and really MAD at Padre (and calls me to vent, so I am mad at him, too, and think he is an idiot because even though he has not actually PAID for it, he is still PLANNING to pending "getting it fixed").

So CDG tows the Jeep and the mechanic says "Wow, you didn't try to START this car, did you?"
"Well, yeah, of course." [actually, she told me she tried and tried and tried starting it]
"The [fuel something]'s broken, you are lucky there was so little gas in it. If the tank had been full this car might have exploded!"

So now she can't be mad at Dad for not filling the tank because had he not been such a slacker she may have DIED in the Jeep we now call Daddy's Death Trap.

So now it's been "fixed." Only HOW DO THEY KNOW? HUH?

So last night we went to my work because it was the free-for-the-employee-family-night to see the 3-D movie at the Museum (WAY better in 3-D than regular IMAX, by the way). It is Sea Monsters. But we MISS the beginning because just trying to GO in the Death Trap was a pain! Granted, we didn't blow up, but, like, Mom's seat wouldn't adjust, my belt wouldn't buckle, just annoyances. But when Mom and I complain about this, Padre is like DEFENDING the Death Trap! Like what a deal it is, etc. He takes every gripe PERSONALLY! WAY IRRITATING. So, yeah. Already HATING their new car.

The movie was fun, though. 3-D is cool! Plus it is funny because the main "character" is a Dolichorhynchops. Do you know how that's said? Dolly-CORINNE-Cops! So we kept calling the dolphin thing Rinny and every time they almost got eaten Mom and I would scream "SWIM, CORINNE! AHHHH!" And stuff. It was hilarious. I LOVE my mom!

I am going to start spelling my sister's name, Chorhyn.

What Awesome Ska Band Are You?

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Entomologists and Lepidopterists will get why the photo is Autobiographical

It is the last session of this year's General Conference and I admit, I feel a little sad. I know it is supposed to energize you for the next. Give you a time to re-evaluate and change. But with how I feel right now, I just feel sad. I feel like saying, "don't stop talking yet... I need more. It didn't work yet. I still feel bad."

I know, logically, the answer to that is "so DON'T stop...
read the Ensign
APPLY what was learned
(and go to some doctors for the physical stuff)
take what was said and use it..."
etc.

But still, I just feel this panicky ENDING feeling, like a spoiled kid looking for one more Christmas gift that maybe got missed behind the tree.


Highlights...

Elder Holland's talk on the Trinity. Wow. And there is a good summary of it here.

Elder Wirthlin, refusing to let pain and struggling keep him from getting his message out and Elder Nelson bracing him. It made me want to cry, mostly... but what love these men have for the gospel they teach. Who could claim they did not believe what they taught with all their hearts? But I just... I don't think E. Wirthlin will be with us long.

"Tell me a little about your church..."

Elder Eyring's WHOLE TALK. But especially, I admit, the parts about struggling with pain and illness. And how the Holy Ghost would comfort us in that stuff, too.

"The answer may be, 'not now. Be patient and wait.'" - Elder Robert D. Hales, on personal revelation.

Just seeing President Judd speak! I liked the story about horses, but mostly, he is a family friend of ours (Jessie's Dad! And he moved into our old house, etc. ) and, I just felt like, YAY! Plus, telling my Megs he was speaking MAY have got her to listen to one talk and since she hasn't done that in few years... yay! I miss Megs. I want her to be happy. And, I know it doesn't fix everything (BOY DO I KNOW THAT), I KNOW she was happier when she was in the church, you know?

"good, better, best"

"There are no proxies for knowing for yourself" - Elder Douglas Callister

And, of course, I *heart* President Hinckley.

So, yeah, Conference was good. It is 5 now, and afterward, we had dinner as a fam, that was nice.

I will admit, I didn't love all of Conference. I felt a little like Sister Beck was saying "you better have kids. And if you can't have kids you better damn well be depressed about it or else you are evil." I doubt that is REALLY her message, but... yeah. So that wasn't my favorite. And some I just was bored and didn't pay attention, so hopefully I will get more out of them when I read the transcripts, highlighters in hand. And there is still this... ending. And even though I WILL read it, and try to put stuff into practice, (and also, I am pretty sure that after I get through a few more endocrine tests, some diabetes crap, and fix this foot thing, I will be looking for a shrink), I just feel a little post-Conference Let-down, I guess.

I need MORE Direction, people.

MORE.


nataliedee.com

"Why can't Mormons send flowers?"

Today is the start of General Conference for the Church. And I woke up in time (ooh, long scary story though. Later.) I am not even in bed listening to it on the radio but upstairs, dressed, and watching it on TV and paying attention.

Okay, well, right NOW it is between sessions, so I am cooking crescent rolls (mmmm...) and half-watching and giggling at Benji (the Hunted!) and his sophisticated thought processes (compared to the idiocy of the majority of the few humans in the show) with The Roomie.

Crap.

I burned them.

Anyway, so this morning I was supposed to go to work... EARLY... to do this last big JMG harvest.

When I was dragging myself out of bed I texted my sister-boss a few times asking "are we still doing this thing?" because 1. it was cold 2. I was exhausted 3. I was hurting a lot
...but got no answer so assumed it was. I put on my jacket for the first time this year and drove out to Thanksgiving Point. But when I arrived, NOBODY was there.

And it was snowing... raining... sleeting... hailing... and I kept trying to call Rinny with no answer. I was going to leave, assuming it had been changed or *I* was wrong, but was waiting just a few minutes to see if she'd call back. To kill time I spun donuts (mmm... donuts...) in the parking lot behind the dinosaur museum. The lot was crazy slick with the hail on the sleet like little marbles in slime.

I thought I heard some construction equipment crunching something... but other than that, nobody I knew came by and I decided to leave.

But when I got to the other side of the museum I saw it was not construction.

There was a car laying there, upside-down in front of it. Having slipped off the slime and marble freeway and flipping onto the the little frontage road at work. The lights were still on. There were no police or ambulance. I felt so sick. A man pulled up behind them before I got across the street, then I was behind him. I asked if anyone had been called. He said yes, the guy (IN THE CAR) had run in to the museum to call an AMBULANCE (meaning there was someone else in there? I don't know.). I asked what I could do, what I should do. He said nothing, and that he would handle it. I pulled over to the side to be out of the way, but was having a major panic attack. THAT was when Rinny called back. She thought *I* had been in the accident and kept trying to say she'd come get me. I explained, but not well... I kept almost throwing up. I was very freaked out and not handling things well. But I stayed till the police and ambulance got there... and could calm down some myself... then drove VERY carefully home, grateful for 4-wheel drive.

But once home I watched Conference which was good. Elder Eyring is the new 2nd Counselor and Elder Cook(?) is the new 12.

Seeing Elder Wirthlin, I think it was? that was so shaky and so so so... old... made me want to cry though.

But still, yeah, good start to the Conference. Granted, I would have to re-watch... or read excerpts (which I will)... to tell you what the heck I learned from it (partially because my unfocused brain... partially because the dogs and birds were being hilariously distracting and kept making The Roomie and I laugh), but over all it was good.

Last night was good, too, for a change. Work was NOT so good. The field trip kids were funny, of course, but I was hurting the whole time and I am still feeling rather unhinged and unstable and... well, started crying when Grandma Betty said I miscounted cups for ice cream for one class. Yeah, THAT'S healthy. *rolls eyes* That's what this whole week has like. But LAST night was good.

I got to just chill with the girls, CC and Stewbert. We talked about dumb things, cruised the mall a little, spent a lot of money at Archiver's (I spent a ton. But I have a plan for a little, CUTE, scrapbook of the suggies. hee hee!), and finished up with Sonic.

I admit my foot, though it was wrapped (and heavily medicated) the whole night hated me today, but still glad I got to play.

I am tired of hurting all the time

phoney smiles

Finally got a new cell phone today. Still with Cricket (and my same number) and still the 2nd cheapest one they had but able to hold a charge for over an hour! GEEZ. And it is a LOT better than my piece of crap used one I had so therefore I am very happy with it. It isn't bad. It's this one! It is not, particularly cute or cool. It is, however FUNCTIONAL which is a big step up and with the recent problems, and this being the 3rd and final time to deal with THIS crap well I am just happy to have some resolution, you know?

Anyway, I am pretty dead, so I will write more tomorrow. Feeling a little too much like crap to continue at present.

Okay, so it's Tuesday. but I lost my steam anyway.

tomorrow is doctors.

depression sucks... even though the doctors tomorrow are my foot and head,