Adrift in the Empty Sea

Even though I love my little brother and think he is hilarious, I didn't know it would be so hard. It SHOULDN'T have been. They tell you to say goodbye fast. We didn't. That was dumb dumb DUMB. We were the LAST FAMILY out of the room and we were all crying really hard. I was holding it together till BoyKid started crying. Because he didn't look sad and excited. He looked MISERABLE. He was bawling. And I couldn't stop after that. I had a fight with Padre at lunch before the MTC, and cried at THAT too. The Megan thing... and my own medication struggles has me on hair trigger anyway... and then Padre... and then BoyKid...

it was a bad day to be leaving him. Way too emotional. And he really did look AWFUL. (AFTER the pics. DURING pictures, he was, well, HIM. The crying came a half hour or so later.) I want to go bring him home right now. Actually, that's not quite true.

I feel more like putting on my old name tag and sneaking in with him. (That's Fresno's fault. I have been thinking of infiltrating the MTC ever since he confessed that 2 of his little best friends stole tags from older brothers and snuck in to hang out for a day with him when HE was in the MTC. BAD!)

Before the MTC we went to Padre's country club for lunch and the little boy apparently made a last ditch effort to be dumb before they try to smarten him up. He is SUCH a BOY.


Then we went to Provo to the legendary Missionary Training Center and we were directed as to where to drag his bags.


Then we went back to the front and IN appropriate doors.

(Rinny's says Friends and Family of Missionaries.)


(BoyKid's says New Missionaries... and he looks like he is impersonating a rodent of some sort.)

Then we went in, and he got his name tag (complete with Dork Dot, of course!) and the lady told him to have his mom put it on.


And then camera time was over. We went into the assembly room. There were prayers, video clips, and before it was even really time to go we were blubbering, including BoyKid which just ripped my heart out!

I know he will adjust... and LOVE it. And what's more important, he will do God's work. But right this minute, I just... want to talk to him. I want to tell him stuff and have him confide in me and hang out and just to BE here. I miss him so much right now I don't think him being HOME would be enough. I would want BoyKid to move in and sleep on the couch.

Other than that today, I went to a job interview (with a staffing service to do customer service (Meh.)... not TGP like I want, but I need SOMETHING.), swam, cried more... Oh! But Coats called and she is coming up this way and so we are going to hang out tomorrow! So that should be good. But in general, yeah... I miss my baby brother. *sniffle*