bad bad bad day

Are you SURE we Mormons aren't supposed to drink? Because today would totally be the type to come home, crash, and do so. I have a split lip. A boy threw up on the tractor. I am covered in hives for some reasons. And if Mr. Rogers had as much trouble with his trolley driver as we have with ours, he's have ripped off that inside sweater in rage and beat the thing the little red plastic shards with one of his leather, outside shoes.

Cutting things short

A Few Short Notes:

*My ulcer makes my stomach hurt so bad today I could cry.

*Got my hair cut short today. I may also do highlights. But for now, a bit shorter.

*I loved playing with my silly little goat on Tuesday. I miss her. She is so dang cute.

*I WASN'T disappointing with the Season premier of Heroes. BUT I understand those who were. I mean, How can you not feel a little let down after a build up like that? A freaking COUNT DOWN SHOW?! Geez! But still... yay! Heroes!

*I am going to be driving Tractor rides a ton during Barnyard Boo this month. SIGH.

*I will be seeing a rheumatologist in Salt Lake soon. Maybe, finally they will figure things out. Sed rate things... and help my Fibro more... maybe.

*BoyKid is completely hilarious. I mean, you know, his letters. I miss him.

*I need to go to bed. Night.

P.S. (Proposal -o-Sunday) it gets worse

OH. my. HECK.

So, apparently I missed part of that story. The "friend" the Dork was on the date with when he fell for the friend he would later propose to in our house? RINN. She is in full hostess mode and throwing the ice cream party. But, Yeah. That means that dork is proposing to the girl in the house of the OTHER GIRL'S parents. Wow.

I was laughing so hard at Rinny as I was telling her I felt bad for her that I am not sure she believed I was sincere. Which was too bad because she was being really nice at the time.

Anyway

He is coming here to PROPOSE tomorrow!

Did that get your attention!? Okay. GET THIS. At some point one of Rinny's friends was on a date with some dork at one of her parties at the Padres' house (pool table, big screen... you know.). Well, Dork ends up liking ANOTHER of Rinny's friends at the party (it happens. Fine.) and later asks her out to a dance blah blah blah. WELL, fast forward however many months that was they are going to get married. He wants to propose to her the first place he MET her... yeah OUR HOUSE (where he was on a date with someone else?!).

Umm... D'oookay? Now this is JUST MY OPINION. But seriously. I think proposing at my house, like upstairs at the pool table is a bit NOT romantic. Especially considering, you know, it's our house. But whatever. AND we are having another ice cream party to "set the scene" and then we all disapear for the big moment. I just think it is kinda tacky.

If you know who I mean, don't tell. (Not that anyone does... well, maybe you, Bobbie.) But still... come on, my parent's pool table room?!

p.s. I just got back from the hospital because I ended up getting driven HOME from work. Leaving my car there. I feel like crap. Ican't move because of my back and a stomach thing (ulcer). This is a BAD BAD BAD day. But still... the proposal is QUALITY freakin humor.

Well, Color me Starstruck! (Now with Music Videos! (I'm like MTV before they were all about RealityTV Shows!))

YAY a weekend that didn't completely suck!

I was having such a hard time. Hurting a lot and crying so much. When Rinny kept reminding me of the Colors concert I admit I WANTED to go, but... I was not so excited. Last year's was emotionally hard, and the chairs weren't looking too great for my pain. Plus, I was just feeling so... alone. I had left a message for Megs to come, too, but got no answer, and figured SHE was having a week like mine and not up to going... or even answering her phone (which I REALLY understand as any of my friends no when I go into non-communication mode know.).

But then she called and Rinny persuaded us both to go! WOOHOO! With my Meggy! And Rinny, who organized this... and bankrolled this... so I really like at present. Yeah, sometimes I totally *heart* me sis.

And it was SO GOOD! (unlike the pictures!)



Even the opener. A chick named Stephanie Smith. Her song "Fragile Sometimes"? Talk about relating to lyrics. Pretty much my theme song at present. (not a fan of the puppet song though because I was in a really GIGGLY mood and it was serious and I kept thinking hand puppet. It's not. It's a string puppet. But hand puppets are FUNNY. Oh and crickets. Because we had a debate about Pinocchio verses Mulan. (Rinny was right. It WAS Pinocchio (OH! HEY! PUPPETS! I GET IT! I was on Loritab that night, just FYI. Blame drugs.) but Me and Megs were just slow. (and on drugs, in my case))) (Wow. THREE parentheses.)

Plus... and on a completely non-music related note, she had a MONA LISA ON HER SKIRT. And it made me covet it. I want her skirt. (Am I now a skirt chaser?)

But the concert? GOOD GOOD GOOD! The boys were fantastic and funny and great. The Hollywood bass dude the brought in was not so much (but I totally dug his OWN song! Can't remember it, but wish I could... something about next 15 in a row? Anyway, HILARIOUS and GOOD voice!) but I like my Colors boys the WAY THEY ARE.


But new songs is okay. Just the same pure sounds. MmmmHmmm... but enough of this ONCE A YEAR nonsense. FULL-ON COME BACK. Come on. NEW KIDS are even back. Can't you fully come back with MORE gigs? You KNOW the fans would come. The Sandy City Amphitheater was sold out, at the very least. And Rinny, Meg, and I... we will ALWAYS love you. Even though you ARE all married... and have kiddlets. And Megs is married too. Whatever. WE ARE THE SUPER GROUPIES!!!!

It was awesome. We sat with Brian's sister and a bunch of nieces and nephews and other fans so our insane cheering didn't look too out of place... we just looked like cousins or something!

In very Paparazzi fashion, this is Brian's Sister and nephew next to us. (Don't worry they actually loved us because we screamed and talked with us about football and crushing ankles and stuff (don't ask, I am a psycho.))

Also, after, I totally talked to Brian's SUPER cute barely 5 year old little boy because he wanted a hug from his daddy and the crowd of fans would not let him through and neither my Teacher mode NOR my obsessed fan mode would allow that so I MADE them move so he could hug his dad and ride on his shoulders. Pretty dang adorable. SIGH. So yeah. SUPER GROUPIES!

And I love my cousin and sister so much. This was a cute shot of Megs. Not so much of me, but I kept it anyhow, because, I liked her face. :OD

(Can you tell she married a TEXAN?! hee hee hee!)

The seats were still hard for my back, but I used an ice pack the whole time.

The only bad thing is I did not make it to even sacrament today. And that is NOT good at ALL. They have moved it earlier. This is not not not not a good thing for me having a hard time. Keep me in your prayers. I know that sounds like a lame thing to pray for, but I want to go. I really do. And it helps the week go better. Even just one hour of church.

Bleh. I am no good at Sundays.


OH OH OH! P.S. VIDEOS!!! Lookie!

Luxurious? I say Neigh! (Bad pun. I know. I hurt. Shut up.)

When I have physical therapy I pretend I am going to a luxurious spa and gym. I mean, there is massage involved, even if instead of scented candles there is electrical stimulation thingies zapping the heck out my muscles. After the "spa" they send me to the "gym" to work out on machines and swim in the [therapy] pool. I can usually keep this game up in my head pretty well (which is nice for my mood since therapy HURTS) except for this recent addiction between the "spa" and the "gym." They have started me on Lumbar Traction. Strapping me to a table and mostly just putting the thing ON me, like they are saddling a horse, then, well, stretching me out. Hard to pretend any spa does THAT. Some creepy... pony... spa. Ouch.

At least the weather is nice...

Today I did so many PEOPLE THINGS! Like SOCIAL! Okay 2! That's "so many" right now, okay?

Yesterday was Doctor Day. I had an MRI on my stupid lower back. I had an appointment with Doogie Howser, my OBGYN. And I met my Psychiatrist, Dr. Rx. She was all no-nonsense and not much the TALKIE type... I have a psychologist, Dr. Jen, the New Dr. Apparently, for that. Dr. Jen is REALLY nice. I like her a lot! Dr. Rx, is good, too. And we are going to try some things. *sigh* Then I had physical therapy and really got worked over.

Today was GROUP Therapy for Chronic Pain people. I have never been to a Group Therapy thing but both the Psychologist and Psychiatrist really suggested it. So I wanted to try. And the group leader, well one of them, was my social worker lady, Half Pint, who I really like. It was good I went. It was good stuff... but kinda hard.

Not as hard as Relief Society, though. Why is that SO HARD? It's hard. Really bad. The headaches and the back stuff... those chairs just shred my nerves. It hurts so bad. And then the stupid stuff. Not knowing people. I start getting so stressed and nervous being there with people... I get so embarrassed to be there. Because people can TELL. Like they all have to come over and say "are you okay?" and I want them to ignore me. I want to disapear. And yet I want to belong. I know that makes NO SENSE. But that's where I am right now.

I DID stay the whole time.

But I cried on the car ride home.

Grrrr....

Anyway. I have been purposley avoiding watching any news shows about 9-11 today. I had a hard time when they mentioned the tragedy at the church thing. I am torn. I would be angry if the world forgot about 9-11. Ignored it, and those we lost. I would be furious. But let the WORLD remember.... let ME forget... right now. I am too iffy emotional right now to get on a dark spiral thinking about Brady, you know? But I do remember... I'm just CAN'T think yet. Not now. Okay?

just a meme of the dayday

Stewie sent this and so I decided to go viral and post it instead.

1. What is your occupation right now? Thanksgiving Point Education Assistant (Random Class (ie: "Pony Power") Teacher, Tractor Driver, Recovering Goat Mama, Martha Stewart's "People" and Field Trip Giver... I LOVE MY JOB!!!)

2. What color are your socks right now? I don't like socks
3. What are you listening to right now? That movie where Matthew McConaughey is a lawyer for a black man who killed the guys who raped his 10 year old daughter. One of those really good but SAD so hard to LIKE movies. Oh. A Time to Kill.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Pumpkin Seeds. My Addiction.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? I can on the tractor and the Coachman... you know, I haven't yet tried out these new skills on a real car. Hmm...
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? The psych running a chronic pain support group to invite me to join.
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? YES!
8. How old are you today? I am 29 years old or 10747 days old or 257949 hours old or 15476961 minutes old.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Ummm... Quidditch.
10. What is your favorite drink? Currently I am all about the Black Cherry Fresca
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes, and should again, I think.
12. Favorite food? Probably Brazilian Cheese Rolls... or Pop Corn
13. What is the last movie you watched? Saved!
14. Favorite day of the year? I love all holidays. But probably Christmas.
15. How do you vent anger? Cry and play angry music really loud in the car.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Either my white Popple or my stuffed dog Max. But I am a HUGE toy fan and the 80s had good ones.
17. What is your favorite season(s)? Fall.
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Love 'em both, but fresh and real
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? if they want
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Mali
21. Who is least likely to respond? Someone without an email address
22. Living arrangements? I am living between my condo with a roommate and her dogs and birds and my turtles and gerbil and my little room in my parent's basement with my parents and my gliders and a jar of triops. More at the padres' than my own house. It is not... ideal. It is really really frustrating. But it is what life is right now.
23. When was the last time you cried? I had apointments with my Psychiatrist, physical therapist, and an MRI all TODAY. What do YOU think?!
24. What is on the floor of your closet? boxes, bins, shelves, shoes.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? Megan
26. What did you do last night? Went to my first Spanish class
27. What are you most afraid of? hurting forever... staying the same...
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Garlic guacamole, thanks, <-----Mmmm... SOUNDS GOOD TO ME! Except I would add cheese. Anything to make it less hamburgery!

29. Favorite dog breed(s)? SO MANY. I love Great Pyrenees, Burmese Mountain Dogs, Irish Wolfhounds, Rottweilers, Newfoundlands for big dogs... little dogs I like Shelties, Jack Russel, most Spaniels, Yorkies, Beagles, Poodles...

30. Favorite day of the week? Depends. :O)
31. How many states have you lived in? 6... Illinois, New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, Texas, Hawai'i, 2 more if you count places I only lived for the summer or California, Idaho.
32. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls
33. What is your favorite flower? Daisy or Plumeria.

CPR and the Big Bucks

So, sometimes I want to make money. I don't do it well. You might have noticed, by the fact that I am almost broke. Besides teaching at Thanksgiving Point (because we all know education for a not-for-profit institute is the way to BIG BUCKS! HA!) I do the Amazon thing (I think I've made all of 4 dollars.. in a year) and I recently joined MyLot (which if YOU want to join, add me so we can be friends and get MORE money, too. Not MUCH money, mind you, but it is fun answering questions. I have been doing MyLot about every day now, just a few responses, though... whatever topics grab me, you know?) and now I am going to try a little something with my blog called Social Spark. Supposedly they pay you to talk about certain things in posts. Not that I would LIE or anything, but if it is true, I could do that. Especially if you KNOW that is what I am doing. Therefore I am going to call these, ummm, Plugs 4 Pennies! Yeah. And here is the first. But it also a Plug for a good cause... I mean, you COULD save a babies life.

CPR for Babies! Not for babies to DO CPR, which could be problematic... but FUNNY. Hero Baby. Heh heh.

Admit it, it WOULD be funny... BUT if your child needs CPR, you need to know how to do it. If you are a mom, or a babysitter, you should DEFINITELY know this. This is a way to learn it online. I remember learning it for the certification, but it has been so long, I am not certified anymore... I should get that way... teaching and all... but ANYWAY....

This isn't going to get you Red Cross Certified, but it might at least teach you the skills for 7 dollars, which is MUCH cheaper than taking the classes at Community Ed. (OH! But speaking of Community Ed, Rinny and I are starting Spanish tomorrow! YIKES!) So there you go! [/Plug] hee hee!

Okay. Going to sleep now. 3... yeah THREE doctors tomorrow. General practitioner (new one. Doctor Shopping sucks.). Psychologist (the New Dr. Apparently *nervous*.). Girly Doctor (Ugh.). Such is [my] life.

kids and kids... not the cure all, but they help.

Labor Day was pretty good... but tiring. I am hurting a lot. But hey! Family Fun!

I woke up with Fibromyalgia on overdrive or something... blame the stormy weather? I dunno, but I was having the Sciatica nerve thing all night making it impossible to sleep on my side without screaming... or, you know, sleep on my BACK without screaming.

Since sleeping on my stomach means not breathing, this meant not a lot of sleeping, in general, till meds and exhaustion beat out pain (past 6 am or so) and I fell asleep in a recliner.

Anyway, Rinny was going to do the family stuff (with the Claysons... they were going to hike Timp, but seeing as it was storming, they opted for laser tag. I opted for staying home and taking pills until we NEEDED to go... EXCEPT that we got to the church (we were going to have a picnic in the canyon but it turned into a lunch at a church) early and so mom and me went to see Josie first. It's not too far from TGP and I haven't seen my farm baby in over a week.

That was good. I have been picturing worst case scenarios... either she is skinny and screaming for me when I get there, like never happy... OR she doesn't know me any more, hates me and won't come to me. But neither was true! She's looking very good (a bit DIRTIER, you know... but healthy!). She's cute and chubby and getting bigger all the time. She was not crying when I came, and in fact, when I called her, she called back to me, but did not come right away... but waited till I told her too. And THEN she melted in my arms like it was before! She snuggled and slept in my arms so sweetly! SO cute. Made me feel loved, but NOT too worried. Just the perfect amount. My wonderful baby. Oh I miss that girl. I wish I could keep her. I LOVE HER.

Also, other Goatly News, remember baby Ambrosia, my darling favorite baby who I used to carry around when I first started working there? Well, SHE has a baby... a MINI-JOSIE!!!

I don't know that JOSIE is such a fan of this Mini-Josie, (But them, Mini-Josie's Mom, Ambriosia is STILL being a spoiled brat and tries to get on my lap when she sees me holding Josie and Abrosia is WAY too big to be on my lap. WAY too big... DO YOU HEAR THAT, BROSEE?! You are a MOMMY NOW! You HURT to stand on my lap, you little punk.

I love that goat though. She is a sweetheart, and gives me hope that Josie will always like me becuase I didn't even RAISE her, just held her and spoiled her and she still likes me. And I am Josie's MAMA, so she should remember me. But yeah, Ambrosia's a good girl. And, unlike most of the goats, Ambrosia is a really SWEET mom. She nuzzles her baby and cuddles it, and her baby is sweet, too. Like Mama, like kid. And like Josie. I am friends with the BEST goats! *sigh*

After Josiekins we went back to the church and played with little cousins. We had turkey and corn and stuff and several cousin's played the piano. (SO many renditions of chopsticks and "heart and soul" HA!). We sang happy birthday to 3 cousins and my dad. And I made friends with Merrily's 6 year old Camille. Oh my heck. WHAT A SMART LITTLE TALKER! My 2 favorite lines "I wonder why I make friends with so many grown ups? Maybe it's because I'm such a chatterbox, if I do say so myself!" and when she asked "hey, where did your little friend get to?" when talking about MY MOM. HA HA HA HA! She was a hoot.

The day was a little too long, however, and my meds didn't last quite long enough. Still, kids... and KIDS... help.