no one like me (thank goodness for that!)

MyNigerian called me on my way to the doctor for the echocardiogram, when I was most scared.  By the end of the short phone call I felt happy and calm and was able to walk into the doctors with out bursting into tears when they did the IV. (I am not wimpy... okay I am not just wimpy, I am a very "hard stick" and my already difficult to find veins roll and retract like they have a mind of their own.) I just kept his sweet words and a few scriptures he quoted me running through my head through out.  He has been such a blessing to me.  He sent me this P-Square song awhile back, saying it was totally us.  It makes me smile every time I play it.


*SIGH*  Yeah, I am such a GIRL sometimes!  But MyNigerian just rocks.

I don't have any results yet so I don't know yet if I have a hole in my heart like mom did, or if I have some really random infection messing with my spinal fluid like West Nile or something, but they do know that my Spinal pressure was low,especially for a fat girl... I'm an 8, whatever that means.  And just that can cause headaches, so who knows what they will find but geez, she is testing everything.  "She" being my new Neurologist, Edna because she reminds me so much of Edna Mode on The Incredibles.  I know, I need a cast list just to remember all the nicknames in my life.  But my doctors are now usually:

• The Witch Doctor - My very holistic approach General Practicioner
• Edna - replacing Dr FTW as my nuerologist
• Psych - my psychiatrist
• Divya - my psychologist who reminds me of Divya on Royal Pains
• Dr. YeahBaby - one of my Pain Management doctors
• Dr. BreakfastMeat - Orthopedic guy I am not a fan of
• PlayBroken - Gasto guy that is NOT my friend.
• Bashful Dwarf - my other General Practitioner. Oddly, not short.

Anyway, so Edna also had me with an eye doctor (nothing there, very blind but very healthy eyes), and get an MRI and MRV.  So hopefully SOMETHING.  Because it has just. been. too. long.

ZzzzzZZzZZzzzzzzZZZZzzZZZ

Finishing up my bedrest. Holy boring.  Not that I haven't had things to do.  I've written 3 articles for the Examiner and 2 for Suite 101 while in bed.  I've read a little of Percy Jackson Sea of Monsters. I have watched a LOT of Burn Notice.  Now I am watching Sleepy Hollow on TV. What the GORY?!  I might NOT watch this. Yeah.

This Is Spinal Tap!

No really. This IS. I had a Lumbar Puncture today as they are trying to figure out why I am having this headache. This freaking LONG, more than a month long headache.  They are testing me for Lyme Disease, West Nile, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and a bunch of other really crazy things.  And I am on bed rest today and tomorrow.Then on Friday they are checking me for a hole in my heart (a PFO) like the kind that caused my mom's stroke.  Seriously?!

This is just... ARRRRRGH.  I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED!

But at least I got my computer fixed (Thanks, Computer Lane!) and can sit up enough to type or I MIGHT go bonkers.

Boys and Books I love them both.

Talked (and fought) for a few hours last night, got things SORT of okay.  Somethings were misunderstood... by both MyNigerian and I.  I was confused by his Spanish citizenship requirements.  He thought I was saying I wasn't going to be allowed to come.  We were both wrong, doesn't matter who was MORE wrong.  It was all messed up.  These things happen. We are getting through it.  It was a fight that probably needed to happen.  Yes, I still love Ola.


I have been reading a lot, since I haven't been sleeping.  Currently it's The People of the Book, and Pride and Predjudice and Zombies and Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters.  3 at once because PPZ is in my bathroom so I read that whenever I go in there.  PJSM is in my purse for on the go reading.  And then PotB is in my bedroom at night.  Maybe this BookSwim rental thing is a good idea. It works like Netflix but with books.

what becomes of the broken-hearted?

 Everything is wrong.  My head is still terrible. My computer is in the shop being fixed. My phone is lost. And I have said something wrong, I don't know what, but I come to find out that MyNigerian has marked himself "single" again on Facebook.  I can't call him to know why.  I am just sitting on my dad's computer hoping he comes on Facebook when he wakes up and that it is a misunderstanding.  My heart is falling to pieces.

of head and heart.

SO. TIRED. OF. HEADACHE.

It's been like a freaking month.  My temples are pounding and I am watching Covert Affairs and Psych with my mom while crazy Fable runs around like a grasshopper on speed.  He is SUCH a little boy in a chinchilla suit. But dumb.  CUTE, but just NOT smart.  He can not understand his exercise wheel and it took him an hour to get the ball.  Though it is really darling to see him walk in it.  He looks like a giant mouse.

Anyway, distractions are good, but they aren't really working completely. Nor is the muscle relaxant and Loritab.  Sleep doesn't help... nor does it come often or for long.  My temples... the back of my head... both feel like I may explode from the head up.  So I write.  Examiner's site is being sketchy but I am still writing there and Suite101. I also just WRITE.  Write here. Write in my paper journal. Currently it's the one with a Yellow Submarine cover, the trippy cartoon Beatles chillin' in the front.  I got it at the Mirage.

I want to go to Vegas again. It's been awhile and I need to visit the newest tigers, Mohan and Majestic.

NO.


I want to go. to. Spain.

THAT is my singular traveling goal.  Get a passport. Go to Spain. Spend some real time with Ola. I am almost 100% sure I am in true love with MyNigerian.  But we need to meet in real life to BE 100%.  And I need to know that.  WE need to know that.  Because if it's as true as it feels now, then, well, we want it forever. <3  Yeah, sappy but true.

The one in where Kipluck has a social life.

Last night I saw some of my favorite people in the world.  Mali, StephAnn, Megan. Even Jakey, Really.  If we could throw Ola in there, too, (and get rid of the headaches for good measure) it would be like the coolest party ever.  I haven't seen anyone in forever.  Hadn't even been to Mali and Steph's cute, Ikea-laden condo yet till then.

Megan and Jake drove me because 1. they rock 2. my head makes it hard to drive safely 3. my head MEDS make it hard to drive safely.  Megs also gave me a BEAUTIFULLY crocheted (knitted?) blanket... for a doll... that is so soft I slept with it last night.  Yup, me and a blankie.

Anyway, we all talked, ate grilled pineapple and kabobs, watched Big Bang Theory. It was good.  Though the reason for the party was bitter sweet... saying goodbye to Mali as she prepares to go study animation in England.

What a crazy life. People get even farther away and busier. SIGH.

Plus SHE says she'll come back.  I kinda think she will just marry Thom and live there forever.  Which if that is what will make her the happiest, then she should do.  It's just, you know, my best friends become more and more unreachable.  I know I do, too.  I rarely get to leave the house.  How freaking social is that? Bleh.  Oh well.  GOOD LUCK, MOLLY!

Babbling about my furrbabies again (in AP Down style)

Today has been some major ups and downs.  My headache was NOT immediatley cured by Dr. YeahBaby's NP filling my head with meds till I had bulges on the side of my head that could pass for a Kilingon costume according to her.  THat was dissapointing to say the very least.  I basically broke down and bawled when my head began to ache again because I have had this migraine thing everyday for a month now with no relenting.  But it is feeling SOME better.

And I still have good distractions, like Ola who sends me the sweetest texts in the world.  I just wish so hard that I could get to Spain and we could be together. SIGH.  Why is Barcelona a bazillion miles from here?  WHY does the boy I love have to be THERE?  But still, I love him. And he still loves me.  So I keep pressing on and saving money towards that trip. (Wanna help?)  So far I only have, like $150. Yeah, I am kinda screwed. 

But I have other distractions too.  Like writing for money!  Grant it I think I have earned all of $1.08 for a few hours worth of research and writing, but STILL, I am being "published" in a way.

Yup, I am an "Examiner" now and excited to report on all kinds of things.... that fall under the heading of Utah and Exotic Pets anyway.  So do me a favor and read my articles.  They are NOT my blog, nor things I would write my blog about, except that I am always talking about my awesome critters whom I adore.  I know about those pets, too.  So it is a win-win. :)

One of those pets is Fable. He really is hilarious.  Right now he is in the tent, tipping over plastic bins and jumping on them.  He's CRAZY!  I love him.  I know, I've said that before. But it's still true.

Bratanik, my Russian Tortoise, is also entertaining me as he chews his greens meditatively, like a dinosaur.  I swear he looks just like what a stegosaurus must have looked like when they ate.  I love him, too.  And Tortuga begging like a puppy in his tank.

But of course, my babies, my sugar gliders are still my BABIES.  They get the most attention, the best food, and more pictures taken of them than a crazy cat lady's prize kitties.  They are so SMART! Smart and naughty. The other day I was really tired from these blasted headache and left the reptarium open.  Suddenly BoyKid yells "Hey, umm... Heber is in here at my computer?"
And he was, just running around on his keyboard asking for attention while I slept.  Luckily they are smarter than Fable, who hides under the TV stand whenever he escapes, because both he and Lilo came when I called them, and Nani who would NOT have come when called hadn't left the cage.  Silly babies.  They really didn't want to RUN AWAY... just to play.  I need to give them more attention.  I know, the mind staggers they could be MORE spoiled, but they should be!

I'm not an Expert, but I play one on the Internet...

Sitting in the family room watching Fable run around the tent like a mad man.  This chinchilla is HILARIOUS.  He karate kicks the walls and jumps randomly in the air and races in a circle around the tent.  He totally baffles the cat, Cali, who can't decide what he is since he looks like prey but doesn't act afraid of anything,  Fable is awesome. I love him. He makes me laugh as much as my gliders, even.  He has definitely become part of the family.

Other than that, I am writing.  Not a blog for a change, but an article about Russian Tortoises for Suite 101.  Still hasn't passed my editor yet so keeping my fingers crossed.  But at least they approved me to write... still waiting to hear from The Examiner.  I just want to WRITE.  Other than that, working on my little holiday project, Remaining Celebrate: The Holiday Nun

My headaches are getting bad, too bad to work through.  I am considering a surgery.  I just need SOMETHING to work. 

OH! My article just passed! Read it!  Sex, Lies, and Video Tape... of the Russian Tortoise  Woot! I'm a professional web writer. Hee hee hee! Yeah, not a GREAT accomplishment but still!  I am pretty proud. :)

Blogging in the Middle of the Night

I can't sleep.
My head aches.
Ola's not on.
I have a yucky taste in my mouth even after brushing my teeth AGAIN.
Might as well write.

I am in the upstairs familyroom of my padre's house (now a 4squarable location), listening to both my keyboard and hermit crabs click away in the near silence of the night and inventing words like "4squarable."

In some ways living in 2 places (The Ark and The Padres) is nice, like when it comes to food (I usually don't cook for myself.  Too much hassle. Easier to just drink an Ensure or Adkins Advantage drink.), TV (The Padres have more cable), and help waking up in the morning.  But most of the time I just wish I could feel better in general enough that my parents would let me go back to the Ark and pretend to be independent.  I still pay my half of the bills with Roomie.  Bur the fact is where I am currently in both the economical and medical sense has being dependant on them and therefore I can't, fo instance, just DECIDE to move or take a trip or anything.

Though, it goes both ways. Part of the reason I am home is to help Mom.  We go to the pool together and such, and I help her drive (which is scary, even this long after her stroke), and do things she struggles with.  So it is not as if I am just leeching away, they really PREFER me to live here, at home. It is me who wants some space and to go back to the ark, all my animals in tow, and be back with the Roomie, her dogs, and her birds.

OH one terrible bit of news though. Kazuki, her ADORABLE Rosella Parrot baby just DIED with no visable cause!  She is heart broken.  I am sad too! He was a DOLL and he liked me enough I was going to try and borrow him for Critters 2 Go even!  It just happened. SO sad.  I know if any of my babies died I would just fall apart!  I cried when one of my 2 TOADS died and I have only had Clyde and Clive for a week or so.  And I wasn't handfeeding them everyday like she was with Zuki. :(

Okay, I think I am finally tiring out (I hope.). Maybe if I open my window and let some air in my stuffy little bedroom I can fall asleep so I can wake up for church tomorrow. That would be good.
Peace.