"both of us are very fluents in english" RIIIIIIGHT.

Some very good things and some very discouraging ones.

First of all, I am doing my "psychology homework" for Dr. Apparently who I really like and being good but I probably have to stay at my parents' house awhile longer. And even when I get to go home, I am going to have to not work for more than a few hours every so often.... maybe for a few months. With my mental and physical pains, I am supposed to consider this time like "Rehab" because otherwise I have to GO away, like in a hospital or something, because of learning to deal with Chronic Pain. And if I don't want to do that I have to work really really hard to heal at home and get healthy... in a lot of ways.

Oh, hey, random warning, if you are suffering with Depression, especially severe enough that you are getting dangerous thoughts, DO NOT READ She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. I had to stop. It was, ummm, "Triggering" and making me very... sick. Just... don't.

The mental health thing is the biggest part *I* am working on, of course, as it is the part most in my control. I can't do much about my abdomen hurting. They are going to try injections soon, and that might help, but it might not. But they will still be testing me for all kinds of craziness (like Lupus or Lukemia) about my Sed Rate. And *I* can't do anything about that.

The other part can control is trying very hard to get healthier with my weight and diabetes, because that will make a lot of things easier, even though it doesn't DIRECTLY affect my pain. So I am on a bit of a "Health Hiatus" for a few months to try and get more normal.

BUT not EVERYTHING is bad. Holy crap but I have sweet friends! These bee slippers, lotions, and matching flannel pillowcases and blanket are from CC, Cupcake, Mali, Stewie, Thai, Prism, Darci, Heatherbella, Bobbie, etc. <-- (that etcetera includes "neighbor Pam" who I have never met, but still, Thanks!) They tied the blanket for me and CC and Cupcake brought it over to me today and I didn't cry while they were there. Thank you so very much, you guys. Thank you EVERYONE who has been praying for me or being supportive and stuff. And Thank you a TON, Quilt people. (My mom and sister both bawled when they saw it.) This is a really hard time right now and it is just awesome to have something all cuddlesome and cute to remind me that people in my life ROCK. I love my friends!!!!!!

Boys are... fun distractions, but not much more. Because even if I got to a point of really liking someone (like ArmyBoy) I don't know that I really trust my psyche to handle that at this point in my life anyway. To be honest, I still cry over Fresno. I sometimes wonder if I will EVER get over that, and whether any guy will REALLY like me for who I am, rain or shine. I think not. But still, I LIKE writing to a boy like ArmyBoy. He is nice and fun and uncomplicated. His letters are too short, and he probably likes 20 girls more than me... but he is funny and sweet and easy to talk to. So I do. For now, anyway. I also like MOCKING boys like Mr. Nitty-Gritty who I do NOT really write, but keep writing me, for your pleasure. hee hee! Especially this one because just before it I HAD written and said I was sorry but I just did NOT see falling for a guy who was not fluent in English. Again, I have bolded my favorite parts.

To: kipluck
From: lademmie
Subject: this is my understanding
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hi sweetie,
its a zest reading your mailback thanks, bcos it takes a kinda deep and matured understanding and mine of the person you are,thanks,
well..................i meant to let you understand the fact that both of us are very fluents in english, bcos I've interfere with someone who doesn't know if she is female, or if he is for male alphabetical, so i mean, and guest, even felt that maybe you are scared having a relationship with me due to your sincere and straight minded person you are and wouldn't wants to get into trouble along the affairs, i understands. ok am great full thanks for the mailback, am not persisting,but in case any feelings or interest?, let me have your yahoo ID so that i could send to you my pics thanx. bye

I admit, I AM curious to see a pic... but NOT curious enough to respond. Also, I REALLY wish I knew what that male-female alphabetical thing meant. HEE HEE HEE.

I am going to go to bed (in my new quilt!) and I will finish this tomorrow, hopefully with pictures.

By the way, if any of you like NuSkin, I am selling some stuff my dad gave me (he won it golfing) on eBay. Basically I am going to try to be an eBay girl to earn some money since I can't work. So, if you are interested, Check out my auctions on a 180 System and a Galvanic Spa System II.

("But this is a good look for you, Sarah. You've gone beyond pajamas and are now wearing the bed." - Must Love Dogs)