Mr. Cousin Jas?!

A few things. First of all, I am going a little (MORE than a little) stir crazy living with the padres. I forget how much life HERE revolves around sports and parties. It is like pets at my house. Everyday we have cousins over because of "the game." "The Game" may be basketball OR football. It usually means Auntie O's fam comes over (sometimes including Brett and Annie who DO rock... they lived with us before) and Auntie O asks how I am and annoys me and so I hide from them.

Apparently THIS time "The Game" also means we will be going to Vegas the weekend before Christmas. We will be having Christmas with the Idaho J's, Padre's FAVORITE big brother, the one who now live there in Nevada, NOT Idaho (and, incidentally the only family on "our side" of the schism about Uncle Rude). AND we will be going to the Las Vegas Bowl which Padre has been finagling to get tickets for and, well, did. (Thai, I bet you guys will be watching that one... albeit, wearing opposite colors! Ha!)

now, when I say "we," there is a strong possibility *I* will be merely THERE. Alternately in a hotel or at Idaho J's house on pain pills and crying. I really really want to hope that by then I won't be... and there is SOME hope. We have a different plan.

After finding NOTHING WRONG WITH ME except pain...
"your white count is up... but not a LOT... which can be caused by severe pain and stress."
"your Sed rate is elevated... it seems there is pain and inflammation in the body... basically caused by pain..."

The basic idea is that I hurt so much because... I AM IN PAIN.

Therefore, with nothing left to go on, that is what we are going to treat. I have been referred to a Pain Management person who thinks it is POSSIBLE it may be muscular/nerve stuff, originating in my back. I meet with him Thursday to evaluate, schedule MRIs and we may just figure out where to do trigger point injections... kinda like my head.

It is a band-aid for a cut that I don't know where it is from. It is not a solution. But it is SOMETHING. And if it will work, even a little, I will take it. If it will get me off constant pain meds and out of bed wishing I would die in the night, I will do it.

It is just SOMETHING while we keep looking for a doctor that can help, but Dr. Hasacrazywife came back and even though my insurance won't take him, we went back to him. Because he KNOWS me. He knows I am not whining for nothing. And he is willing to actually go through the now PILES of tests and keep looking. And he thinks this is out next, intermediate, step. So I will take it.

Because my other option might be hospitalization for other things because I can't stop hurting. And I can't handle that.

This is a bad time for me right now. Yeah.

But not EVERYTHING is bad, COATS called me! We talked and laughed our heads off about our rather pathetic lives. I miss her. Living with Coats, both on the mission and as roomies at SUU, was HILARIOUS. And horrible. And Hilarious. She updated me on the family news/scandals. Her poor little cousin who is preggy, but really awesomely giving the baby for adoption. Her older sister and hubby (we don't like either of them much) are having ANOTHER baby. But the biggest news that made me simultaneously want to scream, cry, cheer, and hug him? COUSIN JAS IS MARRIED.

At first I felt a little sick, I admit.

But he was married in the temple. That made me a little less sick, but gave me a headache and made me worry.

BUT he got his life in order, stopped drinking and smoking, started going regularly to church, and went to the temple a couple months BEFORE HE EVEN MET HER! THAT made me want to spin him around and hug him. Oh Jas, I am so proud of you I could cry... so jealous of her, I just MIGHT... but still. GO YOU.

BoyKid is HILARIOUS. His letters... I should share snippets. Things like "Missionary life is kinda like being in 24. People come in your life, you get very close to them...and then they blow up. Or more accurately they go home or get transferred." He kills me. And, we found out today, now he is a TRAINER. He will be so good. That new little elder will be lucky. my baby bro ROCKS.

Also, I am sort of writing a guy on Mingle. It is a little awkward because I just look at stuff there and think "Fresno" but he seems nice. Not that it will go anywhere... he is an army guy... he is in Kentucky. But, it is nice to have a distraction. He is a geek. He likes to drawing, WoW, and Dungeons and Dragons. He is MIGHTY cute.