Thursday, December 13, 2007

And now I am going to bed.

My back MRI showed there were things wrong with me... a disk was off, I have a benign tumor and such, and some other weird stuff... but nothing that should make me have imaginary appendicitis. But the pain management clinic agreed to TRY and do an injection in my back and see if it helps. That's the day after Christmas. I do NOT think it is going to work. Neither do THEY, actually. But I am seriously willing to try anything.

Today was the Pain people. Yesterday I started with Dr. Apparently. Yup, I am in therapy. I think it's a good thing. But it is really really hard. And tomorrow I get a new Gastro, to see if THEY can find anything (because I am NOT going back to Dr. ScrewIt). Doctors every freaking day. Just like my pain. And pills.

Every day is so much the same. Hurting, being in a daze, tests that reveal nothing.

And it's almost Christmas. Sure doesn't FEEL like Christmas, that's for sure. The snow helps, but I feel like I'm in a fog and I don't care about anything right now. It is snowing right NOW, even. I have gotten a few cards... I appreciate them. I just don't think I will send any back. I am sorry to my friends. I am a scrooge this year. Christmas just feels like another day between doctor's appointments. I HOPE I feel okay enough to go with the fam to Vegas for Christmas. But I don't know.

So today was different! Yay for different! I was sitting here writing this after the doctor when Coats called and asked if I wanted to go to lunch! OF COURSE I DID! She would have to drive as I am now always in danger of getting a DUI, and I could not be long, but just doing SOMETHING was good. We went to Kneaders and had sandwiches and talked. It was so fun to see her. I have missed her. I have missed... ANYONE.

As my mom asked "Was it good to see somebody besides your mom or a doctor?" Yeah, it was. I am not doing so grand. But I am trying.


  1. I am sorry. I have been busy... but now I have some free time and will try to be better!!

    Also... it sounds sad, but HOORAY FOR FINDING SOMETHING! I mean they found SOMETHING instead of NOTHING!!

    My fingers smell and taste (ew) like orange cleaner....

  2. I concer with Steph: SUcks but at least they found *something*.

    Yay for Coats!!!

  3. I should go to bed because I just cried and cried as I read your blog. I understand about it not feeling like Christmas, I just don't have a lot of faith for it this year. The birth of Christ yes, but the whole Christmas thing... well you get it. I also understand about only seeing those at home and the doctor... ugh.

    As for everything else, something is good. Nothing is bad. That's how I feel. Even when Something ends up being bad, it's better than not knowing.

    Sorry this is SO long!