Thursday, December 6, 2007

the nitty-gritty

I have to take a Valium right now. An hour before my appointment so I don't freak out and stop breathing in the MRI. They are like being entombed in a coffin... in outer space. An alien space coffin. Every time I see Valium it makes me want to sing The Freshmen. "My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her, His girl took a week's worth of valium and slept And now he's guilt stricken sobbin' with his head on the floor..."

They are going to look for something muscular... something in my back, like a pinched nerve. But the thing is, I was confused on that Sed Rate thing. Apparently it means more than I thought... and mine is about double what it should be. So, even aside from the MRI and such, at 3:45 now I will be going to some crazy specialist in Salt Lake... an internist to figure out what's going on. They'd suspect stuff like Lupus (sweet, I am a werewolf! jk), leukemia, etc. but I DO NOT have the other symptoms, so, yeah. They don't know anything yet. They just know I have SOMETHING.

Also the doctor today referred me to a psych, but he is not covered. So I will keep looking for one. Because they wanted me to go to one. And I agree.

But, boys are an amusing distraction. Therefore, I have been spending more time on LDSMingle... and chatting with strangers. I don't usually do that much.

I am talking to a super nice guy who just moved to Utah. He has a 3 year old daughter back in Cali who he is not allowed to see because the mom's family is JW and thus he is an "evil association." He might come play with us someday.

I talked to a boy who seemed nice at first and was a "100% match" but pretty much logged off once he found out I wasn't planning to run right over and NCMO.

And I talked to ArmyBoy about, like, old school Mario Brothers and drawing and stuff. HE is very funny. And geeky. And trying hard to convince me to get into WoW. I admit army stuff... scares me a little. More than a little. But at the same time it's cool. I dunno. I don't know anything anyway.

And then there are boys like THIS.
I would just BET someone used Babblefish translator online to try and send me this declaration of "love." But I have been laughing like crazy ALL DAY now! My favorite parts are bolded.

To: kipluck
From: lademmie
Subject: [No subject]
Its a zest reaching your contact on these lascivious conversation, prompted scheduled for the both of us to express our admiring, feelings to the nitty-gritty of solution, thanks as you'll oblige the impatience introduction of myself.
Mr Lademmie. I. Ocean.)
Birthday 1980 April 11th.)
Mobile: [removed to protect the dumbboy]).
Home tel: [ditto].)
Bcs, Skills Professional custom license agency. C.E.O. Legitimate Skills Professional Aid Specialist.)
6.6fts tall, athletes body fitness, black skin nature.)
Christ believer.)
honest and trustworthy, generous, lovely and caring, appreciative knowledge.)
I'm as above and obviously below, i'm straight mindedly, capable in self-sacrificials to zest.

As my choice kind of lady will has no difference to do with humility, understanding, caring & lovely? Always meaning & serious in everything, self-contentious, sincere, plain-hearted, quick to expose feelings, educative & mature & future minded? Can appreciate & calming?
Financial accessable to make possibillity of our meeting and being together in your country, secured to me a job?
5.5fts above, slim or fat, always hygienic and neat?

i'm meant to let you understand by these brief note that its the nitty-gritty of fraternization for our future nob weird of humanity. Please do not hesitate to reply on any interest of your admirings and feelings on how you suppose it should.

sincerely urs heart
urgently await ur response.


  1. that letter deserves a whisky tango foxtrot?!

  2. Okay, so I have NEVER gotten the "whiskey tango foxtrot" deal.

    BUT that's a funny letter. :) Valium is fun ... I had to take it before they zapped my eyes.

    And lupus actually sort of makes sense ...

  3. Which is a keeper? Mr. Nitty-Gritty? hee hee hee! Future Nob... SO didn't understand that part... though, really the majority of it was like WHAT THE...

    Oh, and Stewie, THAT is Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Phonetic alphabet, like they use in military and on planes... WTF. But making it phonetic makes it, umm, okay not really better but FUNNER to SAY!

  4. I wish I could find my ol' Nintendo game system now.

  5. Ok I have to admit I've played WOW before. I'm just not good and get killed all the time. It is a good distraction however.

    I LOVE the whisky tango foxtrot bit!

    Sorry about all the medical stuff. Single handedly we could keep a hospital in business I'm thinking. I'm hoping both of us find answers soon lady.

  6. "I'm as above as obviously below"

    Below what? Expectations? Sea-level? The atmosphere of the earth?