Sheep Go to Heaven, Goats Go... into the Pen and Hitch a RIDE to Heaven?

I am writing this on a computer in the office at work because I am seriously too tired and sore now to brave traffic. (Don't worry, I'm clocked out. I'm no cheater!) It's been a very long week! And yes, I realize it's only Wednesday and I have work all day tomorrow. And Friday. And Saturday. SIGH!

1st of all, though, I need to apologize for saying Fresno is a big cry baby. I was all "oh you'll be fine, take a pill, you don't need a doctor, you girly man." Okay, so not in those WORDS but I was THINKING it. Because Sunday night he got really sick. Like with major fever and chills and shaking and hallucinating from the fever. So his Illegal roomie takes him the the hospital where they decide that his spider bite (which had since grown into a grapefruit on his elbow) was from a BLACK WIDOW! Granted, not as nasty as a recluse, but STILL! WHAT THE HECK?! And I was teasing him! Geez. I don't answer his phone call when he gets burglarized and tell him he doesn't need a doctor when he gets bit by a black widow. WHO DOES THAT?!

Anyway, now I am going to find him something with Little Miss Muffet on it, like a doll or little book or something, to make him laugh. Because I am SO SORRY! They gave him a shot and I think an antibiotic to fight off infection. But it still is hurting him and they are watching it, even though he does have to work still. Poor kid. And he is very so stressed about work, getting his stupid old house rented, and *blush* not being near me.

As for ME... okay, actually, I need to go home. I think the janitor wants to clean. More later.

Okay, it is Thursday now. As I was saying (I think?), as for ME work is good... just HARD. Sometimes the PARENTS are worse than their kids on the field trip. I wanted to pummel the moms that came to "chaperon" the other day. Their kids (7th graders) were actually GOOD, but the MOMS were TERRIBLE! They talked when we were teaching, went into areas of the museum they weren't allowed, and generally were more annoying than, well, Middle Schoolers!

If you are going to act like that DON'T volunteer to help your school. Seriously.

We have a NEW baby goat now. Possibly even CUTER than the others. That makes 5 babies. SO ADORABLE. They are my favorite. They think they are little mountain goats. They play king of the mountain on their little rocks. They butt each other off all day. Oh AND! They keep sneaking under the fence and STANDING ON THE SHEEP. That's right, standing right on top of the grown up sheep. It's hilarious. I had no idea how much I LOVED goats!

Anyway, work is REALLY tiring. It is hard to have such a random schedule. I am part time, but that means maybe one day I will work one hour and 7 the next. Stuff like that.

Anyway, yeah. As for Fresno, his elbow is still hurting a lot. Also, I don't KNOW whether he is coming up for my Birthday. First, he said he was, then he said he WASN'T but sounded like he MIGHT be lying to surprise me because he is a dork and a rather BAD liar. So we will see. My birthday is Monday.

I work a few field trips that day, other than that, I don't know. The only thing I know for SURE is that I'll get a year older. Which is fine, I don't much care. 27, 28... big difference.

p.s. while looking for a good picture for this blog I totally found this GAME! Poor Goats! I wish I could change the rules!

You are What You Eat? (Fast, Cheap, and Easy?)

(WARNiNG: this is going to be a rather random entry because I just have a lot of thoughts today.)

I *heart* General Conference.
.......v......

First of all, there is a semi-rebellious joy in doing "church" in your PJs. I know, I know. Most of the world has to go to their church building to see it and so still dresses up. And some people are just extra righteous and dress up to sit on their couch and watch. Kudos and brownie points to you. But I am lazy and don't and maintain that I learn just as much from the Lord's mouthpiece while wearing my pajamas. ("Don't worry, senior! I will take care of your Payamas!")

(btw, You can TELL I feel that way because of this AWESOME graphic portraying PJs as ANGELIC! Ha!)

2nd of all, this was a an extra good conference, I think. I am anxious for the transcripts to be up so I can read over stuff I've forgotten the details of. It's just nice to feel buoyed up, you know? There was so much about, like, the BASICS. Which we need... anyway, I know *I* need. Stuff about the Bible, being Christian, etc. About the grace of Christ, his sacrifice for us, and following his example.

Also, I just LOVE our Prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley. You feel how close he is to the Lord when he talks... but he is also just funny and kind. It is interesting to compare... and please don't take this wrong... but I am right now watching the Solemn Mass of Palm Sunday in Rome right now with the Pope. It is interesting, and respectful, and you can see the devotion.

However, it is just DIFFERENT. Solemn... and in Latin, of course. Rather than the often jovial and usually plain spoken gospel shared during conference. Again, I am not knocking it by any means. It is a beautiful show of appreciation for the sacrifice of our Savior. It is just... different.

Anyway, on a completely different topic, I play with dolls. Despite being a tomboy as a kiddlet, I DID play with dolls. Even Barbies. Granted, my Barbies spent the majority of the time spending the night at haunted houses (usually haunted by a lot of headless Barbie and Ken corpses), rappelling down the stairs (tied at the end of a jump rope), or running an orphanage for weird, big headed children (Strawberry Shortcakes) when a lot of other kids' Barbies were dating Kens and changing clothes a lot.

However, it seems that while some little girls grow out of dolls, I am going the OTHER direction. Because right now it seems I can't get enough of them online. I make "candybar" dolls at eLouai.



I make superhero dolls.


Turn into an M&M.



I even spend ridiculous amounts of time at GaiaOnline, not just playing with the doll, but earning imaginary money to buy imaginary clothes (and pets) for my imaginary self.And now a 3D, animated Meez... which for some reason won't work right now so I will therefore just show a screenshot of it.


And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what I did in my spare time this weekend. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

In other news, my boyfriend is a big BABY. He got bit by a spider. Now he is CONVINCED it is a brown recluse. (DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK if you are SQUEAMISH!!!) To be fair, it sounds like a NASTY bite and so I am glad he is going to get it checked out tomorrow. But I told him to take a Tylenol and a Benadryl in the meantime. He still whined about it a lot. But I *have* to admit that "taking care of him" even from a distance DOES make me feel good and girlfriendy! I am such a dork. But he's so stinking cute!!!

Fres-NO

Almost

CONFERENCE!






I was really looking forward to Conference and now I am bummed. I mean, I am still looking forward to it in the usual ComeListenToAProphet'sVoice kind of way... but not a SitVeryCloseToACuteBoyAndProbablySmellHimSmellingAllCleanAndChurchy (NotThatHeDoesn'tUsuallySmellFineButYouKnowWhatIMean) kind of way. Stupid Rental Agreement. *Grumble grumble*

I just... miss him. Okay, so there are a lot of times I love the long distance thing, because too much THERE-ness tends to freak me out. But right now I hate it and need him to be here in Utah. At the same time, I am glad he's not because my depression is NOT doing so great and it is bad enough dealing with it in PRIVATE, without worrying it is going to weird him out. BLEH.

Okay, now it is Friday (last sentence it was Thursday.) and I am still missing him, but thanks to having GREAT friends I am feeling better. :O)

Work was LONG today. Left my house at 10:30 to go help with a 5th grade field trip on the farm. Got a short tractor driving lesson from Rinny during it.

Taught some of the parents of the kids about ducks

Fed kids cheese flavored (but REAL) mealworms, etc. Then I spent several hours doing research at the dinosaur museum. Trying to write curriculum, I figured I should know it in chronological order. Anyway, walked a lot in there, till I thought my feet would fall off, went back to the office to work on it there. Then went with Rinny to buy supplies in Salt Lake (for a Relief Society thing and for work, both). I wasn't heading home until 7 something, when CC and Stewie called and said they were on their way to my house! YAY!

We hung out, ate at Carl's Jr. (Fried zucchini! Mmmm! And nobody tried to kidnap us. Hee hee!), and went to look at another castle! One in Cedar Hills. It was funny AND cool! Then we picked up Stewie's kiddlet, Munchkin (one of my favorite kiddlets. Seriously, she is right up there with Bucksome's Little Buck, Bestsariah's Corina, and T-La's 3 boys in sheer funniness.) from a sleep over she wasn't sleeping over at and CC and swung on the swings. (We are SWINGERS! HA!) However, doing so, after too much fat in our meal, and following it with chewing gum too long, well the combo made me sick to my stomach and was just about to say so when CC said SHE felt sick with it, too. Anyway, then she needed to go pick up Cupcake from a mission reunion (I should probably have gone to MY mission reunion, but the only people I care about from the mission probably wouldn't BE there (either from distance or disinterest) so I didn't) so CC drove me home.

I watched Scrubs, and now Perry Mason, of course. Friends like CC and Stewie really help fix a bummer day. JD and Perry don't hurt, either. Hee hee! Thank you, you guys. Seriously.

He better not give me Bird Flu.

I have this thing about castles. Blame reading too many fantasy novels. But when I see something that looks like a castle in the middle of Utah, I HAVE to investigate. It's happened 3 times now.

The first time was out in southern Utah when I was going to SUU. Cousin Jas and I found a castle out in the middle of NOWHERE by Cedar City. Drove through a little trailer camp to get to it, but got chased away. (Later we found out that some rich guy one of our poker friends knew owned it. I think he invited Coats out there with him for dinner, but he was interested in her and she was not interested in him, so she blew him off. I would have gone, just to see the castle.)

The second time I was driving down the freeway with Patrice when we thought we saw a PALACE. So I pulled off the exit and drove to it. It turned out to be the Hari Krishna Temple out in Salem. It is a really interesting place, but then, I am *fascinated* by religions. Because, oh yes, I made Patrice come with me for a tour of the place, much to her absolute HORROR. It was fun.

And now the 3rd time. A day or so ago I had to take a different way home from work and saw what looked like a castle with poker thingies on it and another building with a gorilla on top! Out in a neighborhood!

Well, I was in a hurry to get to a play (Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business at the Scera) so I couldn't go and explore but I HAD to know what it was. I planned to go back, but asked my Mom about it. She said it was a sort of private park built by a well-to-do man for his granddaughters to play in. She said he is trying to get approval to make it available to rent for receptions and such, that she'd just read about it. It is called Hatfieldadelphia. She said you could not go in it, yet though. However, I just HAD to. And, luckily, there was a back entrance to this mysterious place through some construction by it... apparently ALSO owned by the Grampa Hatfield. But a back way meant I could go in and make sure that the No Trespassing signs were the LAST thing I'd see, not the first. Which meant if I got yelled at I could honestly say, "No, I DIDN'T see any signs. I am sorry!" But I DIDN'T get caught... and it's not just a castle!

It's a castle, a witch's house, a soon to be MOAT, a playground under the Big Top (topped with that gorilla thing I saw), an Indian tepee, famous statues, pathways, swings, benches, just a DANG cool park thing! And it looks like a lot more will be done, too. But I didn't stay TOO long (didn't want to press my luck). Just enough to get some pictures...

and wish *I* had a rich grandpa.

Especially if his name was Hatfield.
Especially if he was MEAN! I would call him HateFilled!
Oh wait. If he was mean he would not build me a castle with a moat. Thus defeating the very purpose for wealthy grandfathers.

Never mind.

An odd thing happened BEFORE I left work, too. I was leaving Farm Country where I had clocked out and someone yelled my name from across the street at the Art Institute! I can't see that far, so I started across, thinking it must be one of the Cowboys that Rinny had introduced me too. But the voice sounded way too happy to see me to be business. He called me again and I said "Hi?"
"Do you work here now?"
"Yes?"
"Don't you remember me?" and that's when I WAS close enough to recognize him as my slightly druggie friend from high school AP Art classes! "I'm [RubyDoobie]!"
"From art!"
He looked kind of dejected then and said "well, and MySpace."
I had forgotten about that.

And that he had sort of flirted with me. And sort of was sounding like that now. Ummm... oops?

Anyway, he asked why he hadn't seen me in there at the studio yet and I told him because I hadn't GONE there yet. He said I needed to and come learn to blow glass. And so, yeah, sometime, I will.

So, other than that( the next day):
*I finally saw Stranger Than Fiction. Very good flick, that!
*I got attacked by Buddy, the new parrot. Stupid jerk of a bird. My thumb was almost sliced to the bone. I do NOT love him right now. He's semi-evil.
*I cried in the car after work. Because Rinny died.
Okay, fine, so it was Rinny, Jr. But still, I did cry. She was SO CUTE. And it makes me mad because I am pretty sure *I* could have helped her make it.
*The heating element in our dishwasher malfunctioned and almost started a fire! We smelled smoke and melting plastic and looked all over the house and couldn't find the source. Finally, I walked past the dishwasher... which burned my hand to TOUCH. And it was OFF. Opened it up and the dirty dishes were COOKING in there and the tupperware was burned and melted! I took everything out (with hot pads) and called my dad. He came over, fiddled with wires and finally just had to shut it off at the circuit breaker! And as soon as we switched it back on, same thing. So for right now we just have to hand wash and keep the machine's breaker off to avoid a fire hazard until Padre/Landie gets it fixed or replaced.

Anyway, yeah. Castles.

And in OTHER Categories; Paul the Apostle, Jesus Christ, and Perry Mason.

I like boys. I always have. I was a tomboy all my life and my best friends were always boys till I got into high school, and I didn't become all *girly* then, either, I just became shyer and awkward. Anyway, I pretty much have the BEST boys in my life right now. Of course, there are my "Lost Boys." Those "adopted" little brothers that I have collected... Parker and Jeppers from the Fringe, Cousin Jas from SUU, Gilch the JW in DC, and a few others. But mostly there is the Brother and the Boyfriend. BoyKid and Fresno. I think BoyKid and Fresno are the 2 best boys I know. Funny, righteous, good.

This week's letter from Anziano BoyKid was just so HIM. He wrote a whole page about how much he KNEW that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of the Lord. He talked about truly having the Gift of Tongues with the amazing speed he was learning Italian. But he ALSO wrote:

Okay, I have 2 stories for ya. Story 1: My companion was trying to kill me (with love. (I think!)) and I defended myself with hand sanitizer. It worked and was really funny until it got in his eyes. Then I felt really sorry. But he forgave me, mostly. Story 2: One of the Sorelle has the weakest stomach in the world. Me and my companion made her throw up (Accidentally! I promise!) 2 times by telling her stories. It was fantastic! She forgave us, I think.

It is just nice to know that the MTC hasn't given him a personalitiectomy. Just like before he left, he is still very spiritual and yet very much a teenage boy. I so love my little bro!

[I will continue this... probably with a lot of blabbing about Fresno... tomorrow. Because my Turtle's basking lamp has gone off and I decided that is how I would make myself go to bed by 1. Anyway, Yeah. Time to feed the furrbabies, Besides I SHOULD have gone to bed even EARLIER since 1. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. 2. I have work all day after that. I am working on writing Dinosaur Museum curriculum. It is an Office Day. Not QUITE as fun and random as Farm Country days, but I like the dino museum, too, and I will need to hang out there a bit tomorrow between office times. So it is good.]

So, yeah, Fresno is, well, pretty perfect.

He is SO stressed right now. First of all, hello, the ROBBERY. But also, his french shower of landlord may ruin his much needed break from things there to come here to Utah for LDS General Conference. HOW, you may wonder? GOOD FREAKING QUESTION. His Landie [claims he] thinks that if Fresno goes to Utah [for the WEEKEND!] that he won't come BACK, won't pay his rent or find him a renter. OKAY, that is RIDICULOUS, but whatever. SO he says that if Fresno leaves the state before the house is rented he is "not consider ANY renters until after the lease is up" and that Fresno will be responsible for every cent of that rent till the end of June. SO STUPID! But, yeah technically legal. Sure, legally he can't forbid him to leave California. He's a landlord, not a parole officer! But he CAN legally hold him to the contract of his lease. Catch 22. POO! GRRRRR!

Fresno is honest to a fault! He would NOT skip out on his rent ANYWAY, but this jerk KNOWS that and therefore he has been turning DOWN rental applications left and right that Fresno sends to him. I think he doesn't WANT to accept anybody because none of them will be as reliable as Fresno anyway. What a great reward for being such a reliable tenant, eh?

Grrrr!

Anyway, yeah, he is very stressed. And that stresses ME. But to be honest, finding that out about the Landie made me much LESS stressed. Don't misunderstand. I DO want him to come this weekend. I have been missing him a LOT lately. But right before he called and we talked about that being why he was sad, he had sent me an email that just said "Can I call you tonight? We need to talk." And with that my girl brain went OH NO OH NO OH NO! and when he called he was all "hey" and sounded super sad it was like OH NO OH NO OH NO! Because yeah, my dumb brain.

And the affect boys have on it.

Fame... but no Fortune

Today at TGP...

Okay, wait, I got corrected on this. I should actually call Thanksgiving Point, TPI as the actual "company" is called Thanksgiving Point Institute. And Thanksgiving is one word anyway. It's like on the mission, in Texas, there was this place called Bodacious BBQ. But a certain really dumb Elder (who we hated) would call it the BDB. (No, not Parker. We LIKED him.) So it became a Fringe thing to say because it was stupidly funny. Because Bodacious got 2 letters and Barbecue only got one, never mind the actual restaurant was named BBQ not Barbecue.

Anyway, random. And, just like still saying BDB, I probably will continue to call Thanksgiving Point, TGP.

SO, today at TGP I had "Guest Services Training." It was 6 hours of being talked at, and I was EXHAUSTED. However, the presenter was actually very good. And she used a number of videos to illustrate principles and they were funny. Here are as many as I can find (the first is my absolute favorite). For SOME REASON, Blogger is giving me fits about embedding tonight. I USED to be able to do it fine. Now, apparently it only likes links. Sorry for that. GRRRR.

Escalator
There is a longer version, but we just saw this one. I had seen it before but it still cracks me up.

Canceling AOL
By the way this is so SO true. SERIOUSLY. I once tried AOL and I got ALMOST this much trouble trying to cancel.

FedEx
So, it makes me return to my frustration that they didn't list Wilson, the volleyball as a character in the credits of Cast Away. That would have really made me happy. Anyway, this has nothing to do with Wilson. It just reminded me. Oh, and if you haven't seen Cast Away is isn't AS funny, but still really good.

Anyway, it wasn't all YouTube, unfortunately, we actually had to learn stuff (hee hee!) but it was pretty interesting. And during a break the presenter lady and a few of us were talking politics. And I feel a little famous and proud. Because we were talking about No Child Left Behind and I said the reason it didn't work was, like many things, it was a perfect concept, but for imperfect people. And she asked if she could QUOTE me, like in an article. And she kept thinking my points were good. So I was having a smart moment.

Oh, I had one of those awhile ago in here, in my blog. Because someone commented on one of my silly Phisherman responses and said:

stephanie said...

nice. i'm always so happy to stumble upon good literature when all i set out to do was confirm my suspicions of this crook...
having worked abroad with Docs w/o Borders and Oxfam in England I was curious at best, but entirely skeptical...
you're blog is a special piece of pop-culture, in a way. Or shall become one after half the country receives this ridiculous email.
do you write professionally?

She asked if I wrote professionally... so come on all y'all, who's going to step up and start PAYING me to blog? Hee hee hee hee hee! Come on people, I am only going to make about 7 bucks an hour at T[G]P(I). If you want to pay me use one of my links to shop at Amazon or something. Or, you know, just send me money for spinning a pretty phrase. I would totally be cool with that.

Okay, to be completely honest, I would LOVE to be paid to write. Or draw. Or take care of my critters. Unfortunately, nobody seems to be hiring professional author-artist-sugar[glider] mamas. So I will have to settle for low-wage earning farmer-dinosaur teacher-birthday party hostess-office geek-goat photographer-pony poop scooper. And that's okay for now. :O)

Anyway, I am going to go to bed early tonight. Hopefully my earlier exhaustion will help me fall asleep. Just feed the babies, read a little scripture, talk to Fresno (if he calls), pray, and *hopefully* drift off into slumber before I wake up and go to work tomorrow feeling LESS like a zombie.

I. Totally -Didn't know what I. King-Jordan looked like till now

I had a bad (and weird) Depression day. I don't know why. Wasn't logical, had to mostly be stupid and chemical and indicative of a need to change meds which I have known for awhile but still trying to schedule doctors and stuff. But whatever the reason, today I have been bawling at the drop of a hat.

I went to the pool with my mom this afternoon and somehow ended up crying my head off. In front of people. And get this, it was mostly over a conversation that I need to get some good FARM shoes that are easier to clean than my sneakers, but the same comfort level. I don't know WHY that made me cry, really... and my mom sure didn't either. She was looking at me like I was crazy.

For good reason. It WAS crazy! So freaking embarrassing. Crying my head off about... shoes?! DUMB DUMB DUMB. Bleh.

And even while I was crying I was thinking "This is stupid. WHY AM I CRYING?!"

I mean, when we talked about missing BoyKid, THAT made both of us almost cry... but not even past almost. No, it was talking about shoe shopping that pushed me over the edge. Good hell sometimes I hate myself.

Okay, happy thoughts to keep me semi-sane:

*I did my water aerobics. That was good of me.
*I cleaned the glider cage, so my babies are happy and unstinky for right now.
*The Roomie and I worked on training the new bird, Buddy and her other parrot, McKenzie and made SOME progress with both of them. I like working with the animals, and The Roomie is a VERY good trainer and seems to be able to get them to do just about ANYTHING for her. Like Dr. Doolittle. (The REAL book, not the movies, mind you...)
*I LOVE FiberOne oats & chocolate bars. They are my new mostly healthy candy bar fix!
*THIS made me giggle... a lot. I *HEART* the quote AND the Lego-ified vignette! Sherpa, that totally cracked me up

Also today I watched a really interesting documentary about Deaf history called Through Deaf Eyes. It was FASCINATING, funny, sad, just an all around good documentary. It should air again tomorrow night, I think. I think I'll record it and keep it with my growing number of videos in American Sign Lagugae that I keep hoping will help me learn. I have been thinking more about what the heck I am going to DO with my life. And I think, though not YET, I am going to go back to school to finish what I planned on before getting sick... get my ASL interpreter's license and my Bachelor's degree. (Deaf studies and ASL... with a possibility of someday getting my Master's in Library Science.) But for now I will just work as much as I can at TGP and start practicing more on my Signs and then after awhile hire Thai as a tutor. Sometime later I will go back to UVSC.

Oh, but I suppose it might be UVU by then... I am not sure when that happens for sure. I still think the name is annoying. I voted for just shortening it to Utah Valley State. Chisel off the C on the signs or something... much smoother than Utah Valley University. But whatever.

Anyway, I need to go to bed. I have to be to TGP by NINE. That means waking up VERY early for me... actually by this time I may have better luck STAYING awake all night. SIGH.