Saturday, November 19, 2011

Alone.

Really Scrubs? REALLY?

A guy is dying for the whole show and it ends with Death Cab's Follow You Into the Dark, which is one of the saddest songs in the world to me.


Why should a little Death Cab for Cutie and a Scrubs rerun make me cry?  Because I am just a little... emotional. Emotional and just plain sad.

At the beginning of the week, I came home from a bunch of tests at the hospital to find my little baby Pacman frog, Ms. dead. I cried for a few hours, but felt too crappy to mourn for long.

But the thing is, things got worse, on Tuesday, my uncle died.  Uncle Ken, one of my favorite uncles (I have quite a few. Both my parents are from large families.) has died of cancer. Ken, who is Brady's dad.  It feels so unfair, that they should lose Brady, and then lose Uncle Ken, too.  Of course, they are an incredibly awesome family, and they have a much better attitude than I do.  My cousin, Ryan, posted to Facebook that there must be an awesome reunion going on. He is right, I am sure.  But it is just another example of how great THEY are.

When Brady was killed in 9-11, I was bawling at the funeral.  Brady's wife and Aunt Kay, his mom, both comforted ME.  They earned that grief so much more than me... but they comforted me.  They are such a good example to me.  They do so many good things.

I am not at the funeral.  Mom, Padre, BoyKid, and Rinny are. They are in St. George for the funeral, but I can't do that long of a car ride right now. Still too sick.

So I am here at the house, mostly watching TV, taking care of my pets, and crying at Scrubs.  Also, hurting a lot and wishing the doctors could find me some answers.

I just... argh.

We will miss you Uncle Ken.

1 comment:

  1. I'm right there with you. I didn't get to go either because I need to wrap Jake's legs and apply medicine (because of his lymphedema). I'm so happy for Uncle Ken but so sad for all those who have to wait a while longer before they get to enjoy that fantastic reunion. I wish I could be there in St. George. You aren't alone, BethAnn.

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