Thursday, June 2, 2011
I am trying to stay positive, but it just hurts so much, and there doesn't seem to be ANY good outcome. If it IS a slipped disk that means it can be fixed, even if it means back surgery to remove the disk. But recovery time may be long enough that I have to leave school for awhile, besides that it already threatens to fail me this quarter if my teacher HerMajesty has her way.
If it is NOT a disk thing then I have no known hope for recovery and I just can't even face the idea that I might feel like this for a week more, let alone forever.
I can't drive. I can't pick up my 1 lb purse with my right arm. I can't close a car door from the inside. My mom has to brush my hair. It is so discouraging. The pain pills don't make me feel much better, though they help a little, but make me nauseous and disconnected.
I don't know what is going to happen this semester, whether I can get an extension of some sort so all the work I did won't be a waste just because I can't do the physical part of the final, or whether this means once again changing my life plan to something more accommodating.