Dead on the Bathroom Floor and Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

So, the other day I scared the crap out of my family. Which was simultaneously REALLY funny and very sad. It started with me being very sick but insisting that I still should try to keep my appointment with Dr. Apparently... and drive there myself. BUT I didn't make it all the way and had to stop at a little grocery store near there. From the bathroom I called my mom and said I was in a lot of pain, throwing up, and could she get me the doctor's number so I could call and reschedule. Well, when I called he said his next appointments had canceled so I could come in as soon as I felt well enough to drive.

I was sick awhile, then rested in my car awhile, debating whether to take some free baby trees in front of the store for Earth Day (and Arbor Day, coming... *sings "Plant a tree for your tomorrow! It's your treeeee that clears the air! Plant a tree for something something something something... the Arbor Day Foundation!"* (Oh shut UP! I JUST FOUND IT to DOWNLOAD. SNAZZY. hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee)) but decided they'd dry up in the car, and so just slept and cried awhile and then headed to Dr. Apparently.

My appointment was fine. Hard. But fine. Then, randomly, I decided to go BACK to the grocery store for the trees... and a drink... and just walk around a bit. Not that a grocery store out in the middle of nowhere is really the best place to feel better after a hard day, but that is where I went and was walking around when my Dad burst in scaring me to death and yelling "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WHY ARE YOU BUYING POP?! CALL YOUR MOTHER!" What's happened? Well, the thing is, MEANWHILE...

Last mom and dad heard I was sick in the bathroom at Day's market. I guess they expected me to call and say when my appointment would be, or even come home first but it was just so soon, well, I didn't. So they worried that MAYBE, 3 hours later, I was still there, like passed out in a bathroom or something. Unlikely? Sure, but just to be safe, Padre gets on BoyKid's motorcycle and tools over to Days... and sees MY JEEP "STILL" IN THE PARKING LOT.

Yeah. It looks bad.

But that's not all. There is an ambulance in front of the store and a girl's body on the ground! So my dad seriously jumps off the bike and RUNS past the blockade thingies saying "that's my daughter!" But then he sees the bloody-faced old woman is NOT me and apologizes, but runs past and thinks "okay, she MUST be passed out in the bathroom, then."

So, he runs into the store and to the restroom which is, luckily, unisex because he bursts in to look for me.

I am not there, so he is pretty confused and tells Mom he'll call her back. I am walking to the check out with a Fresca and free trees and am REALLY shocked to see my dad walking around the store. I mean, why the heck would he shop HERE? It's in the middle of nowhere.

"Hey, umm, Hi? What are you doing here?"

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! CALL YOUR MOTHER! SHE THINKS YOU'RE DEAD!"
And then he, like, storms OUT of the store with NO explanation.

I got THAT whole story from Mom. Then I felt bad (but also wanted to crack up at the thought of Padre telling the EMTs that some old lady was his daughter, etc). But yeah. Hee hee! I did not die, just got sick, thirsty, and DID forget to turn my phone back on... a cardinal sin in my house.

The End. Ha!