"It even tasted pink! It's like drinking a My Little Pony!"

My dad's side family reunion camping trip starts today. *I* am not there. 
I am sitting in my parent's empty house watching Gilmore Girls and counting the minutes till I take my next pain pill.  My head hurts so much.  Wednesday it is back to Dr. YeahBaby to get the scary spinal nerve block again.  I know it is kind of risky, but the 4 day long intense headache is crazy.  I can't work. I can't drive.

Actually, only Rinny and Padre are at the reunion.  BoyKid has school.  I am dealing with all this.  And Mom doesn't want to camp anyway, but doesn't want me to be home by myself while I am having these headaches.

I am so tired of this.

So, I started another new blog.  Not a new all-about-my-crazy-life blog, a new blog "project."  I love holidays, especially silly ones.  So I am blogging something to do for every holiday.  Calling it "Remaining Celebrate." Hee hee. Sorry, I'm a nerd.  Check it out? (I am still getting caught up for this month, which is where I am starting.)  :)

A Serious Topic for a Change. Todd Ransom

Our next door neighbor's son committed suicide.  We are so sad for them, and the ward is collecting money to buy the family a yard sculpture to remember him with.  The weird thing is, everyone knew about him already, and the bloggosphere is buzzing because Todd was gay and part of that anti-mormon/pro-homosexuality movie 8: The Mormon Proposition interviews.  They are all saying he killed himself because of all the persecution he suffered... I wish I knew what happened to him.  Was he ACTUALLY persecuted, or did he just FEEL persecuted?  Either is sad, and the fact that it led to his death is tragic.  But I guess, knowing his family (especially his older sister, Melissa, a friend of mine back in Junior High and High School who is AWESOME.), I just hope people know THEY were loving people.  I can't imagine them being part of that persecution.  But I CAN see them being against his lifestyle.

That balance is hard.  I do not believe we should accept homosexuality, but we should not just accept but LOVE our homosexual family and friends.  But it is hard.  I have family and friends who are Gay or Bi.  I love them. Their choices make me sad.  But if they were to feel they were better off dead? That would be much MUCH sadder.  I may not understand having same-gender attraction to battle, but suicidal? Yes, I have felt that before.  Nobody should feel like that. :"(  I hate that thought more than any other!

"People inquire about our position on those who consider themselves so-called gays and lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. Most people have inclinations of one kind or another at various times. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church. If they violate the law of chastity and the moral standards of the Church, then they are subject to the discipline of the Church, just as others are" (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71).

If you are reading this and are my friend or relative and happen to be gay, know that I love you anyway.  Your sexual orientation does not change that.  I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH.  And so does God, no matter what people may say.

In other news I am back to "in a relationship" on Facebook.  Yes, I am a dork.  But Ola and I are officially online "dating" again.  Not that we ever stopped talking but we backed off a bit for various reasons.  Things are not perfect, but one thing is for sure... I still love Ola. IN love with him, really.  And him with me, of that I have no doubt.  NO DOUBT that I am LOVED!  What a great feeling!  What a singularly rare one for me, too.  Especially with Depression still being a daily battle. But I am continuing my battle. My family will not have a yard sculpture to remember ME by.

Huh. Nazis. Gays. Romance.  Maybe I should recheck that Blog rating below that says it's G. *blush*
Yup...
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MoTab, Baby!

On Friday,  after work I went to a Pioneer Celebration Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert.  It was really good.... but most of the time my mind was on Ola because 1. he would have loved the concert 2. he is a modern pioneer 3. it is his DREAM to sing in the Choir (and I think he SHOULD). 
Yeah, I am still smitten.  Smitten but discouraged.  I am in love but don't know WHEN I will see the boy I love.

Today I talked to a VERY nice guy at the pool... he was so friendly and cute, too.  But he had a ton of tattoos including one of a a rebel flag (which doesn't have to mean anything bad)... and a huge one of Hitler (hard to mistaken THAT meaning).  I had to wonder, 1st of all, why he was so nice if he was a NAZI, and 2nd of all, would he be so nice if he knew I was totally in love with a black guy? Huh.

Bird, Business deals, and the Red White and Blue

This past week I was playing mama bird to a little guy I called Pockets.  Someone gave him to the farm to raise... none of whom would take him on, so they gave him to me while I was doing Family Facilitation.  A tiny, bald little thing who I fed every 2 hours for a week before I got really sick.  The parents blamed Pockets. I disagree with them, but regardless of WHY I got sick, I got REALLY sick and was in no position to argue nor to take as good of care of my baby and THEY wanted him GONE. As in they were talking about killing him.  But the Roomie was our hero.  She took him and got online and found him a forever home.  The lady drove all the way out from Nevada to adopt him and just loves him to pieces.  Now called "Phineas," he is doing very well.  I will miss him but am very happy for the darling little starling.

Also this past week was Independence Day.  So yay, family holiday times.  No, seriously, it WAS fun.  Went to Stadium of Fire at BYU on Saturday, which was cool, though I still felt sick. 

Then Monday 2 things... Went to the VERY good Toy Story 3.  I loved it!  But before that? I met with the Marketing Manager of Jumpin' Jacks about doing Critters 2 Go parties there.  The meeting went REALLY well. They were very nice and the partnership seems like a situation beneficial to both of us.  They will link to my website, schedule me THROUGH me, have a specific Jungle Room, and will pay me the amount we talked about, etc.  And I have to admit it was just cool to have a real BUSINESS MEETING about Critters. 

Oh Ola

Having struggles with MyNigerian right now.  We are taking a step BACK. He thinks my parents are against us. They aren't. I thought he was lying to me. He wasn't. We are just all turbulent and upset this week. Uncool. Trying to feel like before.

I LOOOOOOVE HIM

MyNigerian mailed me some beautiful little paintings that I received today along with an even MORE beautiful LETTER. GOSH that man can write. He. Is. WONDERFUL.

I love him. I love him. I totally love him.

We simply MUST save up enough money to go to Spain. Working. Selling the old house. Begging.

balloons and boys

Last night at work I tied balloon animals for a few hours.  It was a little crazy and the folding chair about KILLED my back but over all I had fun and the kids were all impressed with my skills, meager though they are.  I have decided to add that to my Critters to Go site as something I can do for parties... but NOT the SAME parties I am doing the animal shows at because that could just get a little out of control.  Seriously, animals, balloon twisting, facep ainting... throw in a little juggling and a unicycle and I can be a one person circus!

I don't really plan for Crittters 2 Go to ever be a JOB job... but I am hoping maybe to get to where it might pay enough to feed my critters.  Then they will sort of pay for themselves and I won't have to worry about feeling guilty having these expensive pets while my hubby and I are basically dirt poor because, yeah, we will be.

But I LOVE Ola.  He is amazing.  And if we have to be pretty pathetically poor, well... I'd rather be poor WITH him than well-off with out him. That's the thing.

I Hope hope hope our family gets that Italy/Spain trip this year. It's kind of killing us not to see each other and be together in person.

But moving on to the OTHER main man in my life at present, it turns out my chinchilla, Fable is a BOY.  Yup.  (Figured that one out when he humped my hand. Became QUITE clear, but anyway...)  And he is HILARIOUS!  Put him in a tent with a blanket and he will spend the whole time either pushing the blanket into different corners (he's a HUGE fan of Feng Shui!), redecorating his space.... or running in spastic circles. It's too funny. Who knew I adopted an interior decorating rodent?  Also, he LOVES those dust baths.  Which is really fun to watch.  He has just been a crack up so far.  And I don't care WHAT Padre thinks. I am NOT just keeping him till I find him a home. He's FOUND it. Fable is my new baby!

Okay, I am gonna go read some scriptures because MyNigerian invited me to read the Book of Mormon in 90 days for the summer on Facebook, and knowing him he will check on me about it everyday. That's 1st Nephi 1-3 all today so I better get crackin'. But I love this church. I love that MAN. And, yeah, I love that chinchilla. What of it?