Dead on the Bathroom Floor and Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

So, the other day I scared the crap out of my family. Which was simultaneously REALLY funny and very sad. It started with me being very sick but insisting that I still should try to keep my appointment with Dr. Apparently... and drive there myself. BUT I didn't make it all the way and had to stop at a little grocery store near there. From the bathroom I called my mom and said I was in a lot of pain, throwing up, and could she get me the doctor's number so I could call and reschedule. Well, when I called he said his next appointments had canceled so I could come in as soon as I felt well enough to drive.

I was sick awhile, then rested in my car awhile, debating whether to take some free baby trees in front of the store for Earth Day (and Arbor Day, coming... *sings "Plant a tree for your tomorrow! It's your treeeee that clears the air! Plant a tree for something something something something... the Arbor Day Foundation!"* (Oh shut UP! I JUST FOUND IT to DOWNLOAD. SNAZZY. hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee)) but decided they'd dry up in the car, and so just slept and cried awhile and then headed to Dr. Apparently.

My appointment was fine. Hard. But fine. Then, randomly, I decided to go BACK to the grocery store for the trees... and a drink... and just walk around a bit. Not that a grocery store out in the middle of nowhere is really the best place to feel better after a hard day, but that is where I went and was walking around when my Dad burst in scaring me to death and yelling "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WHY ARE YOU BUYING POP?! CALL YOUR MOTHER!" What's happened? Well, the thing is, MEANWHILE...

Last mom and dad heard I was sick in the bathroom at Day's market. I guess they expected me to call and say when my appointment would be, or even come home first but it was just so soon, well, I didn't. So they worried that MAYBE, 3 hours later, I was still there, like passed out in a bathroom or something. Unlikely? Sure, but just to be safe, Padre gets on BoyKid's motorcycle and tools over to Days... and sees MY JEEP "STILL" IN THE PARKING LOT.

Yeah. It looks bad.

But that's not all. There is an ambulance in front of the store and a girl's body on the ground! So my dad seriously jumps off the bike and RUNS past the blockade thingies saying "that's my daughter!" But then he sees the bloody-faced old woman is NOT me and apologizes, but runs past and thinks "okay, she MUST be passed out in the bathroom, then."

So, he runs into the store and to the restroom which is, luckily, unisex because he bursts in to look for me.

I am not there, so he is pretty confused and tells Mom he'll call her back. I am walking to the check out with a Fresca and free trees and am REALLY shocked to see my dad walking around the store. I mean, why the heck would he shop HERE? It's in the middle of nowhere.

"Hey, umm, Hi? What are you doing here?"

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! CALL YOUR MOTHER! SHE THINKS YOU'RE DEAD!"
And then he, like, storms OUT of the store with NO explanation.

I got THAT whole story from Mom. Then I felt bad (but also wanted to crack up at the thought of Padre telling the EMTs that some old lady was his daughter, etc). But yeah. Hee hee! I did not die, just got sick, thirsty, and DID forget to turn my phone back on... a cardinal sin in my house.

The End. Ha!

In the Wake of "Almost 30"

9 things I did this week SO FAR...

1. helped vaccinate a goat. Poor Ambrosia rather hates me right now. (Goats hold grudges!) But it is for her own good, I swear!
2. risked my job for a raccoon in a trap (Yeah, sorry, I know they are a menace, but they should only have to stay in the trap for only so long with out food and water before a humane trap becomes very very CRUEL. So yeah. Please don't tell on me.)
3. finally saw Stardust (and love love loved it! Especially loved that the "mouse" was really a sugar glider.



And loved the lightning fishermen. HILARIOUS.)
4. shot off Alka-seltzer rockets with 13 little boys and 1 little girl and 2 went so high they landed on the roof of the barn! (I *heart* Steve Spangler so much!)
5. FOUND a "Wild" BookCrossing book! I am going to read it and release it again!
6. wrote my baby bro in Italy. 's'been awhile. Sorry, BoyKid.
7. made butterfly keychains with a teacher interested in taking her kids to the Garden for our newest field trips... who turned out to be a HOME SCHOOL teacher/mom with all of 3 children/students. Not exactly big business. Oh well.
8. got too sick with a migraine to even teach my dinosaur class. And I LOVE those.
9. Turned 29

Pajama Church notes again

Basically these (because of this) continued. Notes. Thoughts (even random ones that I felt like writing down). Etc. with all who spoke today.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, 2nd Counselor

"He went about doing good" applies to both Christ AND President Monson.

Faith of our Fathers... "The Faith of our Father in HEAVEN has been consistent since the begining of time" -Pres. Uchtdorf

Elder D. Todd Christofferson, the new member of the 12

Oooh he seems a very intelligent and verbose speaker... though not quite as big of a fan of alliteration as the late and very awesome Elder Maxwell. Still, I like it. Elder Maxwell and his hilarious intelligence was one of my favorites. I was SO sad when he died. It is hard to see things change, even though the WORK, the pattern, never does.

Remarkable not typical! Being born again, a true spiritual rebirth, is more a process than an event.

Sheldon F. Child, of the 70

I admit, even with all my 4-H work at work I still can't really understand how those kids can raise a baby animal like a pet, then sell it to be killed. I understand selling animals for food, I am not a full vegetarian (yet)... but not after raising them in such an intimate way. I couldn't do that. Anyway, tangent.

Ugh. I hate breadfruit. Though if you NEEDED it for your family, that is still cool. I'm just saying...

"...you will be blessed in dollars and cents. You will be able to pay your debts." You can't get much more clear than that, can you? PAY YOUR TITHING.

Susan W. Tanner, just released as the YW President

Delight in the things of the Lord

Boyd K. Packer, President of the 12

Good tie... a positive tie, AND a power tie. nice. ANYWHO...

"These are the dead apostles... we are the living apostles." Wow.

"My life is like my shoes... to be worn out in service"
- President Spencer W. Kimball


President Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

It is a good thing to remember that the decisions made in the Temple after President Hinckley's death and the Solemn Assembly yesterday were connected. WE were pledging our OWN devotion to those divinely directed choices of the prophets.

Jeffrey R. Holland, of the 12

We are Christian!

The Bible is true and holy... but is NOT the answer to everything.

The Bible is NOT what makes one a Christian... scriptures POINT to God, they are NOT God.

Elder David A. Bednar, of the 12

Ask in Faith... to ask with intent to ACT

Meaningful Prayer Requires Holy Communication and Consecrated Work!

Praying for missionary opportunities... and NOT expecting the full-time missionaries to do OUR work ("They are full-time TEACHERS, we are full-time FINDERS!")

Elder W. Craig Zwick, of the 70

"Do we recognize temptation when it's so well camouflaged?"

Paul said not to be MEN-PLEASERS!
"BE NOT ASHAMED!"


Robert S. Steuer, of the 70

How to get Light inside you
1. learn true doctrine
2. gain pure testimony
3. live courageously

The Light of Christ!

Elder Dennis Nuenshwander, of the 7o

"the crowd came to see... but the woman came to be healed"

Elder Lance B. Wickman, of the 70

Ummm... was that a joke at the beginning? If so, nobody laughed. If not (or if so) I didn't get it at all. Huh.

Okay... not a joke.

Yeah. Um.

Craig C. Christensen, of the 70

The Book of Mormon is a book with a promise

M. Russell Ballard, of the 12

Do not OVER SCHEDULE your kids!

It is hard because, like he says he hopes none of us women, married or not doubt our value in the church... and yet, the family is central to the church. That's awfully hard to balance sometimes, you know? It's like, you are valuable... sort of. I know that's NOT how things are meant at ALL. But sometimes that's how it feels.

President Thomas S. Monson

Just... random information off the top of his head, it seems. Good stuff, but random. But it is somehow good to see him not always so polished (and not ALWAYS about widows. hee hee!)

Conference Weekend... When Saturdays feel like Sundays and Sundays feel like Saturdays

In case you didn't know (and thus are probably NOT Mormon) this weekend is kinda special... churchy-wise, because I AM a Mormon. I struggle sometimes, but that part of me, well, yeah, that part I am sure of. I am LDS. A sometimes messed up one, but definitely LDS. And this weekend, as I shared on my other more religious blog, "Small Plates," is our General Conference.

Since I am (as usual) at the computer I thought I would take a few notes right where I am. And, thus, my barely comprehensible literary doodles are blogged here for your own perusal.

Saturday Notes:

I LOVED the first part... the Solemn Assembly. (I raised my hand the wrong time the first time, though... did you?) I DO sustain our leaders. I know they are called of God.

I loved Elder Wirthlin sitting and talking about not needing to be a piccolos. Because it is hard sometimes to not be a piccolo.

And Eld-I mean-President Eyering's whole awesome talk. So positive. Reminded me, at least in TONE, of President Hinckley's happiness. And that made me happy.

OPENING our Hearts. Because He takes things UNTO and not INTO our Heart.

I am thinking about sending Elder Richard G. Scott's talk on sexual abuse to Megs when it comes out in text. But is it tender ENOUGH? I do not know.

More notes to come, well, tomorrow. On Sunday.

"You are a Murderer of Love!"

You Are Flip Flops

You are laid back and very friendly. Cheery and sunny in disposition, you usually have something to smile about. Style is important to you, as long as you can stay casual. It takes a lot to get you to dress up! You are a loyal and true person, though you can be a bit of a flake. You tend to "play hooky" and blow off responsibilities a lot more than most people. You should live: By the beach You should work: At a casual up and coming company

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

Figures... since I mostly wear them. Even though I don't call them Flip-Flops. Or "thongs." *shudder* They are Slippahs. Blame school in Laie.



So, let's see, what has happened lately. Okay, Rinny went on a high school choir tour in Seattle and came back with a boyfriend. HA! Okay, fine, so he is her own age and they were both chaperons because one of the Melissas is a teacher. But they did KNOW each other in high school (and she crushed on him then, too)... in fact, I vaguely remember him from back them, too... her mentioning him at least. Anyway, somehow they came home almost dating... for now. I say for now because, well, it's Rinny. And besides, we Mayberry girls do NOT have a history of knowing how to date. SIGH.

I fell for an April Fool's Joke, the day after. Because I only heard about it, second hand, and it WASN'T April Fool's Day anymore. So for a whole day I thought it was possible that Snoop Dogg was joining the LDS Church. I did NOT see the site, and when I did I thought it was very funny and knew it was a joke, but before I SAW anything I thought it may be true. It was good, though. I wish I could show it again, but it's been removed. Here show at least part of it. Here is one that hopefully will stick around though the original is gone. Sad.

Oh, and a random pic from another site mocking it... Hee hee hee!

Okay, so I am a cotton-headed ninny muggins. BUT He SHOULD become, Mormon, huh? I mean he's into his family like we are, I hear he's buddies with Donny Osmond oddly enough (but I don't know that?), and, because, you know... everyone should. Hee hee! Happy Conference Weekend, right? The first Conference in 13 years with a new Prophet and President. Plus, we will see who the new one of the 12 will be. Plus, you know, just a chance to sit at the feet of the Lord, metaphorically and all that. Yay!

So, sometimes I randomly READ the dictionary or dictionary. YES REALLY. I am just that big of a dork. I was looking for the right spelling for a game and came across this and laughed a LOT.

Pneumonic device

Not to be confused with mnemonic device.

Not to be confused with pneumatic device.

Pneumonic device is a generic term for equipment designed for use with or relating to the lungs. The iron lung and medical ventilator may be considered pneumonic devices. The term may also refer to any device used in the field of respiratory therapy.

A rare mnemonic device for remembering the difference between a mnemonic device and a pneumonic device goes as follows: "Please, never enter unless my oxygen is correct."

OH SO, I finally saw Dan in Real Life. GOOD MOVIE! I laughed VERY hard. "This corn is an angel." It is one of those sad AND funny movies. "You are a murderer of love!" Fantastic. I SO love Steve Carell.

I am now going to be a Merit Badge Counselor. Not that I wasn't BEFORE, but now I am official, not just helping Dave, because we want a way better program. And we are going to be starting a Geology badge program and an Archeology badge to add to our Citizenship in the World badge and Environmental Studies badge. But we went to a Scout thing and it was funny how out of uniform we were, even though we were all IN our uniforms. Since were were mostly all girls... in our TGP shirts... and none of us knew the oaths and stuff. It was funny though.

It will be... interesting.

Anyway, I am going to bed because it has been a VERY hard Friday emotionally and I hurt bad physically. So, yeah.