The Holiday Looms

So I am watching Covert Affairs and Fable play in the new cage I got from the rehomed rats.  THEY are happy with their new mama. The chinnie is happy in the new cage.  And I am being uber domestic... knitting My Nigerian his Christmas present!  Okay so it is on a loom but it still says knitting on the package. WHat I supposed to call it? LOOMING?

indian giver (I know. Racist.)

Last night I thought I was getting a hedgie/ I chatted with the gitl for about an hour, talked about a lot of things actually, and mom had been talking to dad. He had seemed not exited but okay about it.

That changed;

Now I am FORBIDDEN to get anymore pets. "Fable is the last!"
Where does that leave Critters? BOO.

Lists and a Hedgehog and Rats

Things I think my future kids will say

• I don't have to obey you, you're not my real mom!
• What's a Walkman?
• Can I take one of your animals to school for show and tell?

Things I want for Christmas

• A trip to SPAIN
• A Hedgehog
• A Chocolate Orange
• To go back to my own house

Things I am really tired of
This headache. This plus 3 month long migraine
Living at the padre's
Not being a real part of this ward because I don't stay the whole time because my head hurts and stuff

So I MAY be GETTING that Hedgehog, and early.  I am talking to a girl who has a perfect one named Mr. Ouwie that needs a new home.  He is darling. I don't know about having him early, as I am going through all this USDA stuff, but he is going to need to be registered too anyway because I definitely want him to be part of Critters 2 Go!  Anyway, I am texting the girl about the little guy back and forth tonight. 

Meanwhile, I HAVE RATS. 2 truly darling little girls that if I could I would keep but I can't so I am looking for someone awesome to love them.  Because I already adore them and they deserve it.

Confusicopia

My blog is more journal than, I don't know, BLOG.  I write for myself mostly, and someday I may even print it all out into a book. Who knows.  But I am still curious if anyone reads me anymore. It's not important. I don't get paid like I do for the Examiner and writing for nobody but myself does not bother me.  But I am still curious.

Anyway, I have been on a little bit shaky ground with MyNigerian.  Nothing has HAPPENED, it is just so hard to not be in the same dang country that sometimes I get a little weird.  And I don't like his little expiration date of December.  I mean if he wants to date other people, just do it. Don't make it be December when he already knows I can't come. I dunno. It's frustrating.  I guess I just feel like I need to start falling out of love so it doesn't hurt so much. Mom reminds me if it is meant to be it will work out, and if it isn't it won't. But my health and other circumstances are such that it's just probably not going to work.

But the thing is, and I am not being negative here, I am being realistic, how many chances do you think I am going to have?  TexasBoy... Fresno... MyNigerian. Each felt like a miracle.

And then there is the BrazilianVampire.  He swooped right in yesterday, reminding me "I like you how you are" and telling me he'd kiss me and he would move to Utah and pay for a trip to Brazil.  He told me so many things, right when I was feeling my saddest about Ola, that it was tempting.

But that is so literally what he is: Temptation.

He is not an active member of the church and has no desires to go back.  He drinks. He gambles.  He would screw up my life.  It would be worse than PoetryBoy.

How many chances?

I want Ola. I want him and his spiritual powerhouse ways and his sweet words and everything.  And I think I am not going to get him.  I just feel like swearing. DAMNIT.

I hurt.


My HEART hurts.

And it goes with out saying my HEAD HURTS.

OY.  Other than that, I just finished The Castle Corona. Reading is my escape.  I kept getting stories mixed up though (I blame the headache) They were asking what the corno (like a cornucopia) could mean and all I could think was DUH, the thing in the middle of the Game where all the weapons are!  Only that was not IN sweet little Castle Corona. THAT was in Catching Fire of the Hunger Games trilogy. HA!

I just started Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell and it seems interesting.  Maybe I'll go read now.  My brain is tired.

Halloweekly Planning

I officially have my USDA papers and am working on them for my Exhibitor's License!  It is a little daunting.  I need to write up my "Veterinary Plan" of how I care for my animals and get it, and THEM checked out by a qualified vet.  I hope Dr. Dobson will do it! She has been my gliders' vet before, though she has never seen Fable.

Last night we had a little Sibling Party.  Watched Clue (one of my FAVES... haven't watched it since, well, I guess since that date with PoetryBoy in college in Cedar City., carved pumpkins (Mine was Trogdor from Homestar Runner, Spencer's was Boo from Super Mario, and Corinne's was Charlie Brown. Yeah, we are old school.), ate REALLY yummy pumpkin bars from the Thanksgiving Point's Harvest, and fed the pumpkin scraps to the critters. The tortoise, the gliders, the hermit crabs, it's good for everybody.  Not that they will all eat it. Fable wouldn't.

It was good times.  We (me and the parents) will be passing out candy (well, chips.) to the Trick-or-Treaters on SATURDAY, Padre about FREAKED when I said we should save some treats for kids that came Sunday because not everybody knows how Utah operates. "THOSE kids will come to a dark house. They will learn not to bother people on the Sabbath." Jerk.

 I doubt they are PURPOSELY bothering people on the Sabbath. They are just Trick or Treating.  I hope everyone just comes Saturday like the news says they will.  What if they come MONDAY?!

If I had kids they'd go Saturday.... or whenever their friends were going. Safety in numbers and such.  I really want to be a mom.  Someday I am definitely adopting.  Kids, too, not just babies.  Probably from Haiti, maybe from Nigeria if that's easier, if MyNigerian and I are together someday.  Dang but I hope so. I love that man. *SIGH*  And we want kids. They can be from Nigeria, Romania, Haiti, or here in the US, wherever they let us love them.  Someday.

Okay, I'm gonna go read in the bath now.

Happy Chinchilli Day?

Today was my cousin's kid, Chad's, mission homecoming talk at church.  He did a good job... he also did a good job serving the Lord for 2 years.  I am proud of him. It's weird how OLD everyone is.  His big sister has a new baby... the same sister I remember as a cute 2 year old living in my grandma's basement in Sandy.  Makes me feel downright elderly.

It is hard with all the cousins (and 1st cousins once removed!) having kids, living "grown up" lives.  And I am still so dependent on my padres.  With not being able to work right now, my head still being what it is, I'd be utterly screwed with out parental support in a big way. :(

I love my padres.  I appreciate how they support me. But I wish they didn't have to.

The OTHER excitement of the day is Fable, that BRAT of a chinchilla, escaped. DANG is he FAST! It took me half an hour to catch him and he was in plain sight!  Crazy rodent.

I just finished The Loud Silence of Francine Green and it wasn't awesome but it was pretty good.  And it made me think.  Yes, it's a kid's book but it still made me think.  About the parallels between the McCarthy Communism trials  and the black listing of pro-Prop 8 in the entertainment industry. Now I am watching M*A*S*H* until bedtime.  Unfortunately I have no audiobook for tonight.  Time for a library run.  Until then I will just listen to one I one, like one of the Tennis Shoes series or Ella Enchanted.

Chuck it!

Watching DVRed Chucks, crying my heart out (not ABOUT Chuck. About LIFE), with my glider pouch around my neck so I have my 3 babies close to me as I can.  Having a REALLY hard day.  The Headache is still here, Botox be damned. Really really discouraging.  I miss MyNigerian as he can't chat often. I miss leaving my (parent's) house. I miss LIVING in MY house (you know, that place my roommate lives?). 

Things I am grateful for today:
Chuck
K-Love
Writing for the Examiner (I got my first paycheck!  50 bucks! WOOT!)
Fable the Chinchilla
Heber, Nani, and Lilo, my babies
Jack is alive!
the Gospel is TRUE
The ability to type out my thoughts rather than letting them consume me like pirahnas
Pumpkin Seeds. Go tryptophan!