Many Pics of Tongues

So, Fresno is really good at cheering me up. I just got off the phone with him. Then read an email that he had sent. Then talked to him on the phone again WHILE looking at another email he sent till my phone died. That last one included pictures of the dogs!

He had a major run-in with one of the neighbors in the new house about those dogs and was all upset. A very scary neighbor guy's little dachshunds who were not on a leash came after Fresno and his ginormous wolfhounds who, of course, WERE on a leash. But the man (who was probably scared to death of Fresno's pups) starts yelling at Fresno! Well, Fresno is holding the leashes as tight as he can but telling the man to come get HIS dogs. The man yelled and screamed profanities and threatens to kill Fresno and his dogs. Even though I think the man was just scared of the big dogs and was just trying to sound tough I told Fresno he should tell the police (not 911 or anything, just the police office) just in case something happens, especially as he is going to have to deal with this guy everyday because he can not not walk his dogs or be afraid in his own new neighborhood.

We talked about that and he sent me pics of the dogs. Darby is brownish gray and his sister, Demi, is white. And he is SO smitten. He LOVES them and says they are just sweethearts and that I will adore them. And I believe him.

I'm excited to eventually meet them. Mom keeps teasing me, "And how is that going to be? You and your husband... in your first tiny house... with your 2 giant dogs... and your 3 stinky gliders?"

To that, I say :OP .

Anyway, his email before the dogs was just CUTE. Because, well, most of the time, he GETS me. And that is just NICE. Because even *I* don't always get me. But it was basically about whether or not I called him my boyfriend to my friends and stuff like that. (To which I said I definitely THOUGHT of him as my boyfriend even if the WORD boyfriend sometimes sticks in my throat and makes me giggle. And he says that is totally okay, so long as HE can call ME his girlfriend. Hee hee hee!) He is just so freaking NICE to me! And... yes... Fresno is my BOYFRIEND.

WEIRD.

Anyway, could be weirder... like my dream last night. THAT was weirder. I dreamed I wanted to PRACTICE kissing before Fresno came to Utah again. And so I was supposed to kiss this random guy (not a real person, just someone my dream brain made up) and we were kissing, but then he tried to French me. But him putting his tongue in my mouth SO disgusted me that I threw up... INTO the guys mouth. EEW?! I woke up almost feeling sick for REAL because it was so vivid and YUCKY.

I do not want to think about that now. *shudder* I do NOT need that dream again and I should feed my babies and go to bed. But I am feeling lazy. So I think they will have something I prepared before and froze. Probably Mango. That always goes over well. And then, of course, BML and a few wiggly mealworms.

Anyway, GOODNIGHT!

On the Ball... with a Martian Moose watching your every move

This weekend has been, at least, more social than usual. YAY! It is good to have friends and actually SEE them on occasion.

Thursday, Coats drove up because a lady in the grocery store that she did not know set her up with her nephew for a date in Provo. So before her date she came to my house to talk and hang out. That was fun because we just have not talked in some time. She then was going to stand the boy up because she was in an exceptionally pissy mood. Like I don't even KNOW the boy and I felt bad for him. I THINK I convinced her to at least not dog the poor guy, but I don't know. I haven't heard the post-date report, but she was already mad that they were meeting at Red Robin as she doesn't like hamburgers. Hee hee! She is so weird. But FUNNY.

Friday was the official "Damn Good Taco Night" at CC and Cupcake's house, "The Lodge." It was fun (well, most of it)! On the ride up there me and Stewie talked, mostly about Fresno and my relationshipaphobia, (and her kiddlet making a "robot" dog out of a radio) etc. Because that woman is WISE! Then we picked up Stef and continued to "The Lodge" which is basically a townhouse that has a rock path through beige carpet (sand?) and a lower level of greenish blueish carpet (a pond?) with a VERY SCARY moose painted on the wall with big alien eyes! CREEEEPY! (and the bathroom wallpaper is also HILARIOUSLY pornerific! hee hee!) However, hey, CC and Cupcake live there so it is cool by association. Hee hee hee!

A lot of people were there that I did not know, and to be honest, I felt very intimidated. Sometimes I make myself mad. I know, in my heart, I am an outgoing person. I am gabby and loud with my friends. But with strangers I sometimes want to shrink into the background until I disappear. The people weren't really all STRANGER-strangers... a few looked familiar and we got to see CD, of Cupcake's Blog (VERY cute, chica! Way to go!). And other people had met each other, it's just been awhile since I have been able to get out, so I felt a little lost.

When I finally WAS talking I was telling about Parker calling me to get the Birds and the Bees talk, but with the sex = basketball analogy the boys there just took that and ran with it, and basically turned all sports dirty, which was funny, but also made a few people uncomfortable and left. I didn't mean to do that.

Anyway, I was ready to go home when Stef and Stewbert were. It was a good party. I just had a bit too much on my mind to have a lot of fun. I was missing BoyKid... and Fresno... and thinking a lot about Megs... and wondering if I am ever going to get a job so that I can feel self-sufficient EVER in my life, etc. I really liked the brownies and ate 3 of them which was not wise, but I sort of didn't care because they were yummy and I was not feeling that stellar inside my own head.

Saturday, too, was a bit of a party! I went up to Salt Lake to hang out with Megs and St. Jake since she is home from the hospital and I still hadn't given her her Christmas present (which, btw, I actually have one for CC, but forgot it. hee hee hee. And yes, it is MARCH.). Her and St. Jakey collect those official Disney pins (they are both OBSESSED with all things Disney) and I had bought a Stitch surfing one in Hawai'i for her when I was there! She also had a Christmas present for me... a really cute journaly notebook with Wonder Woman decoupaged on it! SWEET! Anyway, St. Jakey made us breakfast for dinner... eggs, bacon, orange juice, the whole shebang! Then we 3 just hung out watching random interior design shows on HGtv. It was fun. I haven't spent near enough time with Megs and St. Jake. I so love them. SIGH!

Which brings us to today. I went to church, my own, slightly dysfunctional, ward even. Just Sacrament though, I could not mentally/emotionally handle more today to tell you the truth. I am glad I went, but only because I SHOULD go. Right now I just need to take what I can get from this ward, even if all it is is obedience because I don't really LIKE it here. I DO very much like the new-ish Bishop. Mostly because I know he is a man of God and REALLY appreciate the blessing he gave me prior to the scary nerve block thing with Dr. YeahBaby. So I go because I should and keep hoping my feelings about the other people in my ward change, especially now that The Roomie is 31 and has taken that fact as the chance to run from our ward, even if it is to an "older singles" ward. So I sit alone. But... yeah. Right now I am just patting myself on the back for showing up at all.

The Bishopric's wives sat right behind me today and were quizzing me on how I was doing during the opening song. It was kind of annoying, but hey, at least they missed me. Sigh. Anyway, church was good. The Relief Society president spoke about "raising the bar" not just for missionaries, but ourselves as members of the church. And she kept saying that chef's thing "Bam! Kick it up a notch!" which was funny in church. But yeah, it was good, just... frustrating.

However, during the sacrament I was thinking about Fresno (yes, bad me. I know we are supposed to be thinking about Jesus, but I was mostly thinking of the boy *blush*) and RIGHT THEN he called my phone! I HADN'T turned it off, but I HAD at least put it on vibrate. But I quickly turned it off right then. Still I thought it was pretty eerie for him to call WHILE I was just thinking of him.

Granted, later I decided it really WASN'T that spooky considering I tend to be thinking about Fresno the MAJORITY of my time and so it is only statistics that he would call during that great expanse of time. But STILL.

Anyway, that was today... and Saturday... and Friday... and Thursday.

I am going to post this and maybe go home. (Right now I am at the Padres' because they got a letter from Anziano BoyKid and I wanted to read it! Plus, I was driving home from church and saw some people making a MOVIE! So I was really curious and drove around the neighborhood they were in trying to figure out what they were doing. Yes, following their crew like a dork. Anyway, some how in my paparazziness I ended up by the Padres' house and wanted to read BoyKid's first letter home. TA DA!) TTYL, Journal Friends!

(btw, sometimes I forget that people read this. In fact, the other night Stewie mentioned someone reading my blog besides her, CC, Cupcake, Bobbie, Granola, Mali, etc. (she didn't mention those people, I am just saying she said somebody else) and it really surprised me. I guess I forget some people read with out responding. It is fine either way, I just didn't THINK about other people reading it besides my direct friends. I guess mostly because I think WHY? If I had an especially interesting life, I would understand. It is just funny that anyone but people who are my friends (and thus required to think I am funny) who give 2 pins about my life. Odd. Anyway, friends and strangers alike, have a good night.)

Little Anziano

My baby bro, Anziano BoyKid is such a good kid, for real. We got his first letter and he sounds like he is doing good. I like it when he told about his first mission companion, over there at the MTC. "He is a good kid, but he listens about as well as I do so we may be in trouble! He was a jock in school, but he doesn't seem to jock-ish (wow that was intelligent). I haven't really gotten to know him yet but I bet we'll get pretty tight." He is so cute! But I thought I would let all y'all read his Farewell Talk, given 8 March 2007:

Brothers and Sisters, I am grateful for the chance to speak to you this morning. Seeing as the last time I was asked to speak in church, I completely forgot about it, I do feel like things are going better this time. It is comforting to see so many familiar faces. I am grateful for our faithful little 9th ward. I am thankful for the friends and family that are here today. Judging from the smiles on your faces, there are quite a few of you who are delighted to be finally getting rid of me!

I'd like to start off by reading the poem "If I Only Was the Fellow" by Will S. Adkin. Let me warn you, a portion of this poem is written with a strong accent. So forgive me if I draw my on drama experience a little.

If I Only Was The Fellow
While walking down a crowded city street the other day,
I heard a little urchin to a comrade turn and say,
"Say, Chimney, lemme tell youse, I'd be happy as a clam
If I only was de feller dat Me mudder t'inks I am.

"She t'inks I am a wonder, an' she knows her little lad
Could never mix wit' nuttin' dat was ugly, mean or bad.
Oh, lot o'times I sit and t'ink how nice, 'twould be, gee whiz!
If a feller was de feller dat his mudder t'inks he is."

My friends, be yours a life of toil or undiluted joy,
You can learn a wholesome lesson from that small, untutored boy.
You need not be an earthly saint, with eyes fixed on a star:
Just try to be the fellow that your Mother thinks you are.
-Will S. Adkin-

If we really were the kind of person our mother thinks we are, how much better would we be?

At times it can be difficult living up to the high expectations of our parents. If you'll pardon a personal example, I have experienced this first-hand.

Anyone who knows me has probably heard of my uh .imperfect driving record. Heaven may forgive and forget past sins, but unfortunately State farm Insurance does not. This explains my extreme fear the first time I was ever pulled over. To my embarrassment I admit that I was pulled over for drunk-driving despite the fact that I sure wasn't drunk. This story started as a not so innocent practical joke war between me and some of my friends. I use the term "friends" very loosely in this case. Once our battling factions ran out of the classics like toilet paper, and silly string we were forced be more creative. My truck fell victim to the worst attack. Thugs sprayed cooking spray on my windshield, leaving the world a blurry mess. Foolishly, I decided to drive anyway. I realized how
dangerous I was being, but the streets were empty, so I pressed on. It took flashing red and blue lights to finally come to my senses. As I imagine the sight of me trying my hardest to stay in the lines, I understand why the Officer was shocked to find me sober. It may have been how absolutely horrified I was, but the officer took pity on me and let me go with a warning.

Unfortunately this story is only half over. I was then faced with the mini-moral dilemma of whether or not to admit this ever happened or just bury it. I decided since I didn't get a ticket I did not need to tell my parents. No harm, no foul right? I went to bed foolishly thinking that would be the end of it. Much to my surprise.my mom had a dream that night. That morning she shared her dream. She told that she in her dream I had broken a window. But I had the courage to tell her about it, despite the consequences. Her next words were, I quote: "I know that if you ever did anything wrong. you'd tell me about it."

I'd felt that I had been personally ratted out by revelation! It could have just been a coincidence, but I heard the message loud and clear. The Lord wanted me to be open with my parents, even if it was something trivial. I knew I had to come clean!

I learned a valuable lesson that day. At times when I was tempted to make choices that weren't correct, I could think back and realize my parents didn't just hope I would choose the right, they fully expected I would do so. That knowledge made it much easier to make the right decisions.

Our parents aren't the only ones that expect us to make the right decisions. So do ur friends, our coworkers, our neighbors and church leaders. We also have expectations from our Heavenly Father. The poem I read discussed how good the world would be if we acted the way our parents thought of us. Imagine how much more powerful a change it would be if we all were the person our Heavenly parents expect us to be. Heavenly Father has made it very clear how he expects us to act. During his sermon on the mount, Jesus commands us, in Matt. 5:48 to "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."

This may seem like an impossible commandment. Sometimes it is hard to believe that we can ever be perfect. On our own this is true. But as Nephi said, "I know the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he should prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." Jesus Christ is the way that we can accomplish this commandment. We may not ever be perfect in our lives, but we can all be perfected through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Still, it can be difficult living up to our expectations, because perfection involves doing the right things for the right reasons. Too often we do things we good things, but don't get anything out of it. We read our scriptures, but don't take anything to heart. We pray for guidance, but don't stick around long enough to receive answers. Sadly, what holds many of us back isn't our actions, but our attitudes.

Our attitude can make a big difference in our lives. Whenever I was having a bad morning, I remember my dad would simply tell me to change my attitude. He'd tell me I had the choice to be miserable or happy. At the time, his statements only made me angrier. Since then I have realized our attitudes determine far more than how our day is going to be. Our attitudes play a role in living up to God's expectations. Knowing that, I searched for ways to improve my attitude.

I found that the scriptures are full of ways to improve our attitudes, and progress towards perfection. A classic example of attitude is found in 1st Nephi. When the Lord commands Lehi's sons to retrieve the plates from Laban, we get a great demonstration of how attitude affects our progression. Nephi's response is classic. "I will go and do." While, Laman and Lemuel's responses are a little less inspiring. In chapter 3 verse 5 it says, "And now behold the brothers murmur, saying it is a hard thing which I have required of them; but behold I have not required it of them, but it is a commandment of the
Lord."

It is tempting to be critical of Nephi's brothers. After all, "It is going to be hard!" is a pretty pansy response. However, we sometimes forget that retrieving the plates was hard. It involved hiking the same distance as
from here to St George, and then back. It involved marching right up to Laban, the Jerusalem equivalent of the Godfather, and asking for the plates. It was a huge risk, and Laman and Lemuel knew they could easily lose their lives. And did they do it? Yes. They complained but they did it. How often do we follow their example? We do our home teaching, but we complain about it. We fast but we complain about it. Now it is a good thing, a great thing, to do the right things. But to live up to our divine expectations we need to have more of Nephi's unwavering faith.

So how do we adjust our attitudes? To make that kind of change we need to keep in mind a larger perspective. I learned a lesson about this principle when I was a Teacher in the 3rd ward. It was my first experience with the
now legendary Pack Pedal Paddle. Now I could make a lot of jokes about how Brother Borup got us completely lost several times. I could point out that every time Borup promised us "Just one more mile" we planned on two or three. But I won't mention those things; that just isn't how I do things.

Actually I found that our journey through the High Uintas could teach a lot about of journey through life. I remember specifically a section of the trail that seemed only to go up. We climbed for hours, each time we reached what we thought was the summit, we saw an even higher hillcrest. Finally standing on the highpoint of the trail, we were able to look down into the beautiful valley below us. Among the trees we saw small mountain lakes and a larger one that we knew was our destination. Looking at that lake it seemed so simple. We would walk down and arrive with enough light to cook dinner and rest. Unfortunately, what seemed so easy when we saw the whole landscape became much more difficult once we were surrounded by trees. Without seeing the big picture we had to follow a small trail a long distance. We even lost our way at times, and said a prayer that we would find the trail again.

The similarities of our own journey through life are obvious. When life is smooth, and we are on top of the world our destinations seem so clear. We are certain who we are and where we are going. Unfortunately, when we are in the thick of things such certainty is sometimes lost. Without that far sight we can lose our way. If we are lucky, we will have role models, and leaders like Brother Borup and Brother Monney to help us out of the woods. I am very grateful for the many leaders that have helped me along my way.

The scriptures offer other examples of ways to change our attitudes. One example comes from the book of Moses. In this story, Moses has a powerful spiritual experience. If you would like you can turn to Moses 1.

Read from Scriptures V 1-2

Moses had the opportunity to see the Lord face to face and learn directly from him. If you had the chance to be instructed by the Lord what do you think he would teach you? I think it would probably be similar to Moses'
lessons.

In verse 3-4 He says

It is very significant that The Lord calls Moses His son. The first thing the He wanted Moses to know was his divine identity. The Lord repeats that statement several more times, reaffirming Moses' role. The Lord wants us all to remember who we really are. We are children of God. Once we realize that, it becomes much easier to make the right choices. Once this sinks in, the Lord show Moses all his creations, and the plan of happiness. After witnessing all things, Moses is left alone, to consider what he has seen.

His statements in Verse 10 say a lot about his changed attitude.

This statement shows us that he had truly humbled himself. However it is important to realize that although that we are nothing compared to God, but we are everything TO God.

In this verse 39 he tells Moses:
Moses' knowledge of who he is strengthens him when temptation sets in. Shortly following his vision, Satan comes to stop the new prophet. We can learn a lot from Satan's strategies.

In Verse 12 it says:

Notice the first thing Satan does is call Moses a "son of Man." He is trying to make Moses forget and doubt his potential as a Son of God. Moses' response in verse 13 is perfect:

We can respond in the exact same way. When we are faced with temptation we can tell ourselves that we are Children of God. We have the glory as children of God, so why would we trade that for the darkness of Satan?

This chapter of Moses is essentially a self-help book on self-motivation! The Lord was giving all of us a way to boost our attitude during hard times. If you'll permit one more personal example, I feel I learned a related
lesson early in life.

When I was 7 my mother and our neighbors planned a picnic at a beautiful spot along the Provo River, near BYU. It was late fall, so the waters were shallow and slow. My mother and the ladies watched and relaxed as their children cut loose enjoying the warm sun. As we little boys wandered off, my mom got suddenly nervous. The other ladies weren't worried, but my mother suddenly received a strong impression that she had to find me. She took off at a run being led by the Spirit. What she couldn't have known without the Spirit was that I was about to do something incredibly stupid.
Near where the water runs under the street, a part of the river was dammed by a metal floodgate. In this small area the water was much deeper. Near the bottom the gate was part-way open, and the water was pouring violently through the opening on the other side. Yet the water on the surface was dead still. So much so that a thick layer of trash and moss had the collected on the surface. In my childish haste, I saw this layer of foam
and mistook it for dry land.

And so, when my mother followed the Spirit to my location she arrived just in time to see me jump from dry land and get swallowed by the murky water. I had taken swimming lessons but the hidden current below was pulling against me. As I came up to the surface kicking hard I saw the face of my mother, for just a second before being sucked under again. I surfaced again and tried to grab her outstretched hand, but missed. I kicked hard and surfaced again, and this time I felt her arm grab me, and pull me towards the surface. I was cold, wet, out of breath, but because of the Spirit, and the quick actions of my mother I was alive.

I tell this story partly because it has so much meaning to me. I also feel that this story has many spiritual parallels. The first lesson I learned is that when the spirit tells you to do something, you do it immediately.
Don't wait, or else the opportunity may be lost. President Spencer W Kimble had a motto. He would often say, "Do it. Do it now!" It isn't enough to receive a spiritual impression if we don't act on it. As it says in James 1:22 "Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only."

The second lesson I learned was the symbolism of the still water. Satan will try to trap us. On the surface sin may seem peaceful and inviting, but below there are dangerous forces trying to pull us under.

Finally the last lesson involved my mother. She has confessed to me she felt guilty her that her first instinct was not to jump into the deep water with me. While a dramatic dive would have been more exciting it could have
led to her to being pulled under the water as well.

We all have friends that aren't doing the right thing. It can be the hardest thing in the world to stand by and watch them slip away. In our desperation to help it can be tempting to dive in with them. In our desire to keep an eye on them, we can start to make small allowances. We'll go to a party where alcohol is served in order to protect them. This is a noble desire, but if we spend time where the spirit can't be present, how long before we start to slip? How can we pull them out if we too are struggling against the current? It is difficult, but we must be sure our footing is secure in order to help others.

On that day, my parents said something which has grown more significant to me lately. My father said "The Lord saved you for a reason. You have work still to do." We are all here for a reason. Heavenly Father loves us and would not send us down here to drift. We all have a work to do, every one of us.

Right now I know exactly what it is that I am called to do. I have been called, like all of us to share the Gospel with the world. I am thankful for the examples I have had. JT Ferrin, Sean Vest, who are just beginning to serve. And all the examples of those who have served, even for a short time; they have shown me the power of missionary work.

I am so thankful for my family. They have been everything to me. I know everyone says this, but everyone else is wrong, because I have the best family in the world. I am thankful for my sisters, Beth Ann who has been an example to me my whole life. I am so grateful that she served a mission, and has shown me how wonderful, and difficult it can be. I am grateful for Corinne, who is just so full of life. I am grateful for the chance to laugh, and fight, and just act dorky with her.

I want to thank my parents. My mother who tirelessly serves our family; I know the Lord will bless her and my family the way he has blessed me.

I also want to thank my father. He was my friend when I didn't have any, and when I did have friends he became their buddy too. I am so thankful for him.

I also want to thank my friends and family who are visiting. They have meant so much to me. I also want to thank the adults who have meant so much in life, all my scout leaders and church leaders and the Bishopric.

I should probably stop before I sound like an award show. But before I let everyone go, I would like to bear my testimony .

[And then he did. Hee hee hee!]

There you go, folks. My little brother rocks. The End.

Adrift in the Empty Sea

Even though I love my little brother and think he is hilarious, I didn't know it would be so hard. It SHOULDN'T have been. They tell you to say goodbye fast. We didn't. That was dumb dumb DUMB. We were the LAST FAMILY out of the room and we were all crying really hard. I was holding it together till BoyKid started crying. Because he didn't look sad and excited. He looked MISERABLE. He was bawling. And I couldn't stop after that. I had a fight with Padre at lunch before the MTC, and cried at THAT too. The Megan thing... and my own medication struggles has me on hair trigger anyway... and then Padre... and then BoyKid...

it was a bad day to be leaving him. Way too emotional. And he really did look AWFUL. (AFTER the pics. DURING pictures, he was, well, HIM. The crying came a half hour or so later.) I want to go bring him home right now. Actually, that's not quite true.

I feel more like putting on my old name tag and sneaking in with him. (That's Fresno's fault. I have been thinking of infiltrating the MTC ever since he confessed that 2 of his little best friends stole tags from older brothers and snuck in to hang out for a day with him when HE was in the MTC. BAD!)

Before the MTC we went to Padre's country club for lunch and the little boy apparently made a last ditch effort to be dumb before they try to smarten him up. He is SUCH a BOY.


Then we went to Provo to the legendary Missionary Training Center and we were directed as to where to drag his bags.


Then we went back to the front and IN appropriate doors.

(Rinny's says Friends and Family of Missionaries.)


(BoyKid's says New Missionaries... and he looks like he is impersonating a rodent of some sort.)

Then we went in, and he got his name tag (complete with Dork Dot, of course!) and the lady told him to have his mom put it on.


And then camera time was over. We went into the assembly room. There were prayers, video clips, and before it was even really time to go we were blubbering, including BoyKid which just ripped my heart out!

I know he will adjust... and LOVE it. And what's more important, he will do God's work. But right this minute, I just... want to talk to him. I want to tell him stuff and have him confide in me and hang out and just to BE here. I miss him so much right now I don't think him being HOME would be enough. I would want BoyKid to move in and sleep on the couch.

Other than that today, I went to a job interview (with a staffing service to do customer service (Meh.)... not TGP like I want, but I need SOMETHING.), swam, cried more... Oh! But Coats called and she is coming up this way and so we are going to hang out tomorrow! So that should be good. But in general, yeah... I miss my baby brother. *sniffle*

Shoelaces, the Gift of Tongues, and Dogs the Size of Horses

Where to start? This week... wow.

For one thing I have had a really sick feeling for the past few weeks bout Megan. I felt like she was suicidal. And I felt like she was hospitalized. I think I even SAID so. To Mali? Or CC? Did I, Mali? Steph? Say she was hospitalized? Because I don't know why I said it. At all. I didn't know she was committed, until today when she finally called me back and said she had finally been released. But I felt it. Somehow, I knew she was in the hospital before she said anything. Because she is my Megan, I guess. If that makes sense. Anyway, she is home now, but still under close watch... with lots of doctor's appointments. That is good.


One thing that made me giggle (and cry, simultaneously) was when she was telling me about getting released "...and they told me, oh and you have this appointment today and that one tomorrow..."

"Hey, that's cool. Being in the hospital is like having a secretary!"

"Yeah, a secretary that steals your shoelaces."

"WHAT?!"

"They unthreaded my shoes... because they do that dangerous job of holding shoes to my feet!"

"Shoelaces? Dang, chica! You suicidal people are creative!"

"Heck yes we are!" she laughed.

I remember the first time she was in there. They wouldn't let her have magazines until they pulled the staples out. But that would take some serious talent to hang yourself with shoelaces, that's what I have to think anyway.

Anyway, we talked a long time. It was good. I have missed her terribly. She is my Megan... She is my best friend, my cousin... but she is also... the person I would die for... my spirit's twin... I don't know. She is my MEGAN. And I hurt very deeply when she does. I try to not let it worsen my OWN Depression and such, but it is hard. I just have to focus on the good stuff... that she is okay enough to be out... that she is getting help she needs... that her wonderful hubby St. Jakey is there for her. But... yeah. HARD.

But today was also an important day in our family for the BoyKid! Today we all went with him the the church to be with him as he was set apart as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and given a very beautiful blessing that he would be protected, that our family would be blessed, that he would learn Italian by the Gift of Tongues.

BoyKid cried a LOT. I think he is getting nervous. But he will do good. He really will. Tomorrow we take him to the Missionary Training Center and say goodbye for 2 years. I am going to miss him... a LOT. We all will. That kid is hilarious. Italy doesn't know how lucky it is.

After the setting apart, blessing, and firming up tomorrow's plan, Fresno called and cheered me up quite a bit. He was exhausted though. After work he was shampooing carpets all day at the new house (the one in Cali... he plans to get one in UTAH, too... but in August or so)! He closed on it just a few days ago and got the keys the same day he got a call from his brother that THEY were moving... to somewhere with no fence and yard. Why does that matter? Well, because it meant that a few days ago I got a phone call so excited I thought the boy had won the lottery.

"Remember how I have wanted a dog so much?! Especially after playing with [The Roomie]'s when I came last time?" Remember that?!"

"Yes..."

"And remember how I was so happy that the house had a good yard with a fence?!"

"Yes! Did you get a DOG?!"

"No! I got 2 dogs! My brother is giving me his 2 IRISH WOLFHOUNDS!!!! And they're free! And I love them and they are mine and they are big..."

"Umm... [Fresno], they are HUGE. Irish Wolfhounds are GIANT."

"I KNOW! Isn't that great?!"

Fresno is now the proud papa of 2 of the tallest dog breed in the world - a sister and brother named Demi and Darby. He gets to pick them up tomorrow and he is absolutely FLYING he is so hyper. IT IS SO CUTE. Irish Wolfhounds are far from my favorite breed... but I think I can love them. HE sure does. Over the moon, that boy. Adorable. Well, and he is such a Celticphile. Obsessed with ALL things Irish. I think he is slightly crazy... 2... TWO of those puppies?! Oh and they are NOT puppies. He says they'll be 4 years old May 6th. But yeah 2 monsters bred to hunt wolves (but these ones better not hunt anything other than squeaky toys or I would have a MAJOR problem) and he is talking about brushing them everyday, and buying them cute things (seriously. He can be SUCH a girl!) and teaching them the same tricks Trinket and Shasta know. SIGH.

But his excitement is contagious, and besides... well, I can not resist ANY furry face! He promised to take pictures for me. For now I am just looking at Irish Wolfhound websites all the time. Hee hee hee hee!

Yesterday, when we were swimming, my mom and I were talking about him. At the end of it she asked, "but, seriously, don't you think you will marry him? Eventually?" I admitted I did. EVENTUALLY. And my hesitation has nothing to do with what he is (ie: near PERFECT for me) and everything to do with me and what I fear about myself.

Anyway, also tonight Fresno was teasing me, like usual. We were talking about BoyKid going.

"So, did he ask you if you were going to be married while he was gone?"

"No, he did NOT ask that."

"My brother got married while I was on my mission. They didn't even tell me. Rude, huh?"

"Well, I think that is HORRIBLE! Not to even tell you? Your brother was a jerk."

"They said they sent an announcement. But they lied... or it got lost. I guess that's possible."

"Well, anyway. That is dumb. Not even to tell you."

"So do you think they should have waited for me?"

"Hmm... I don't know. Maybe. You don't really LIKE your brother, so probably not. But maybe if you liked your brother..."

"You really like your's, huh."

"Yeah."

"But I think I understood them not waiting. And wasn't mad or felt bad."

"Umm... yes you DID. You said they were rude!"

"Oh yeah. But... umm... maybe if my new in-law was COOL then I would not have wanted them to wait for me. As long as they TOLD me. Like maybe with a funny package."

"Hmmm... maybe. We'll see."

Then I changed the topic and we talked about Conference time when he is coming next and how we missed each other and other such patheticity. And more about the dogs and the houses and his disabled cousin that he takes care of suddenly getting to spend time with his dad who hasn't seen him in 12 years! It was good to talk. I miss him.

I seem to be MISSING a lot of people lately. But, as the Stake President said (well, to the same effect anyway), how great is it to have so many people in our lives that are worth being missed?

I Don't Want a Wii... I can't even Handle a We!

Fresno is the sweetest *gulp*BOYFRIEND*gulp* in the whole world, but I still get awful weirded out by his commitment. Commitment is so scary! And then there are the We statements. He says them so NATURALLY. Like he doesn't even THINK about them! When I say We it is only after tumbling it around in my head for forever and even then I usually end up whispering it pathetically. But he is throwing around Wes like they're going out of style!

Like, while looking at house. "...We could get that one..." and my brain is screaming NO! No, that is YOUR house! THIS is MY house! That one creeped me out.

However, I AM getting more okay with it. Like, rather than my brain screaming it is just GIGGLING and thinking WE? What the?! when I was talking about BoyKid's mission and me writing him and Fresno busts out smoothly with this "...yeah, and we will write him once a week, and sometimes we can make him packages!"

However, even though I am still neurotic as hell about this whole Boy thing, I really like him. I *think* I love him. And I think that EVENTUALLY, maybe, I might just end up married to Fresno. But before I let that happen there are many MANY things about myself I need to fix. And it will be awhile, despite what he seems to think. But, yeah, it is still probably going to happen if I can keep myself together anyway.

Oh, and randomly, he is so GOOD. He had a good friend die some time ago, and he did his work in the temple. Well, now he is doing his friend's parents' work and he asked if, so that it was more special to him, I would do the Mom's work, because then he could baptize "her" and we could plan a big temple day when he comes for General Conference. He asked really nice and all spiritual-ish, but half of me is still sort of dreading it because, well, for one thing being baptized is not exactly the most FLATTERING of things to be.

ALSO, I sort of am anti-temple DATE. My reasoning is that in the Temple you might be wondering "Hmmm... should I marry this person someday?" and you might feel all kinds of happy templey goodness and think "YES! I should!" when maybe all you are really being told is "Good job! Yay! Happy templey goodness for serving the Lord and your fellowman!!!"

And yet, I still said "Ummm, yeah, okay?" because he just ASKED so... HIM. SIGH. And that means being wet in a white jumpsuit... and probably getting all weirded out and nervous that the proxy *sealing* will seem too much like a dress rehearsal or something. Yeah. ANYWAY, like I told him (because of the way he was asking) I am honored to stand in for someone else important to him. Just... yeah... I am me.

And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the blog where Larry comes out and sings a silly song... or, umm, you know.... Friday's Faves. Without Larry.

Friday's Fave 5s

In the true spirit of girliness, Five Faves about Fresno

1. His super bluey-blue eyes. They are GORGEOUS.

2. He is HONEST in his compliments. He doesn't pretend I am a skinny model, but he tells me I am beautiful and says why he thinks so. He supports me trying to be healthier, but doesn't really care if I stay the same size in the process. Because he is realistic in his compliments, it makes him one of the few people I actually TRUST compliments from.

3. When he gets really excited like a little kid! Like when the Roomie made the dogs do tricks for us, he was, like cheering and clapping! It was HILARIOUS! Especially when we are being really silly and talking like dolphins or making up things for the Wonder Twins to turn into and he starts GIGGLING. It is the funniest thing to me. He sounds about 5 years old when he does that. I love it.

4. His dedication to the Gospel! He really is an AMAZING holder of the holy Priesthood, and a really good EXAMPLE to me. How cool is THAT?!

5. The way he TRIES (sometimes too hard) to relate to everyone about something. No matter how different they are from him he will find SOMETHING in common to discuss with them. He is the king of "BRT" and I love it because of WHY he does it. He doesn't do it to BE salesy, he just wants everyone to feel interesting and just tries to be nice and relate to people SOMEHOW, even if he doesn't like them.

Hamsters in Pants are DISTURBINGLY Sparse on Google Images

Last night I got an email saying that today admission to the zoo was FREE as a "Wild Wednesday." Now, I know a free $8 ticket isn't normally enough to prompt a random all-day trip downtown. But I have been feeling restless and needing to take some photos and I haven't been to the zoo in FOREVER! So, I just took off... by myself... to Hogle Zoo. Yep. Random. And COLD. But fun!



I may blog more about the zoo itself and it's changes recently in my animal-focused blog, Tails from the Ark, later. The zoo has both nostalgic AND conservationist value to me, personally. It is important to me, our dorky Utah zoo. The animals there, I *know* them. I have seen some of them grow up. I met them when I first visited family in Utah, around 25 years ago. We go back, these animals and I! Anyway, yeah, I think I'll talk more about their specific care (OH! And the fact that I just found out The Ark has a NEW baby... The Roomie adopted a new Parrot today! She called it her birthday present to herself.) and all of that later, in my animal blog. Spare you guys details of enrichment ideas I got for my gliders from fruit bats and marmosets (oh, and in this case, "enrichment" is critter talk... not Mormon talk). Unless you WANT details. Then, umm, HERE?

Anyway, my favorite part of the zoo was the Tiger because, well, first of all they are one of my favorite animals, but mostly even though the pics suck, he really WAS playing in the snow! IT WAS ADORABLE! I wanted to take wire cutters to that flimsy chain link and climb in and hug him if it was the last thing I did... and it could have been. Hee hee! Really cute though.


Also, I love all the little things. Critters that get skipped over. They are ALL fascinating. I LOVE ZOOS!


Oh and how can you not like monkeys? (Almost every picture I took is terrible. Dimly lit rooms, but glass cages and reflections of flashes, so had to turn them off, but the animals move quickly, etc. SIGH.) Fresno is afraid of monkeys. Really! It's like a phobia. I think he plays it up to be funny but really is creeped out. He actually was very scared of my gliders, too, the first trip here, even though he was nice about it. But this last trip I think Heber finally won him over and he REALLY likes them. But still not monkeys or apes of any kind. (except King Kong, which he thought was funny.) But look at those FACES! HOW can you not LOVE them? I want to cuddle every single one!
Actually, not true. I want to hold and cuddle BABY primates, and cute small adults. Nothing with large bare testes. Because I think, like, Baboons are FASCINATING from the neck up. But SO NOT CUTE. And ANY animal with an unfurry butt is GROSS and should, like, wear pants.

Seriously. I do NOT want to see that. Male Hamsters? DISGUSTING. They should be made to wear pants. Male Rats? PANTS. Baboons? PANTS. I do not know if any female animals have similarly disgusting butts, but same goes for them (and they are free to wear pants, rather than skirts, let's just have things equal. )

Luckily, at the zoo none of the animals with ugly butts mooned me, not even the Baboon. That is better than at the pet store where the male rats, hamsters, etc. are literally DRAGGING their junk around and I have to look at something adorable (like my sugar gliders... or even gerbil... all of which are very cute and modestly furred fron top to bottom and therefore don't have to wear clothes of any kind to be precious) to keep from shuddering.

Speaking of my suggies, they don't HAVE any at the zoo! They have flying squirrels. They have bats.


But the only glider RELATIVE they had was a very cute Bennett's Wallaby, I think it was?
I think they should have a whole sugar glider COLONY there, like they'd have in Australia! With a huge arboreal enclosure with trees and... yeah... actually EDUCATE people about these fuzzbutts before they BUY them so I don't see so many in need of NEW homes because their owner didn't know what the heck they were getting INTO! They are one of the coolest little critters you could ever know, but are NOT for everyone!!! I realize, since they are, well, my LIFE, I am a little biased. But STILL I think the zoo DOES need a colony. Hee hee hee!

Anyway, after the zoo I got sort of lost in Salt Lake, but it was fine as I found a DI and ended up buying some AWESOME toys for my OWN "zoo" babies and a couple of HILARIOUS records for Rinny. Like ones we had when we were little! I am rather jealous of her record player. Hmmm... that MIGHT be something I buy when I 1. get my life in order and my house out of CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) 2. have a job and 3. am financially independent.

On the job front, I called the HR lady at TGP to "see if [she'd] recieved my resume" in other words to remind her to look at it and be impressed... hopefully. She DID sound impressed/positive but said she was still trying to figure out the "proper channels" of an interview while avoiding nepotism. SIGH. Anyway, still praying for that to work out. AND, that would be a LITTLE like working at a zoo. There ARE animals there, after all.

Aaaaand I was going to write about FRESNO, but as it is late AGAIN and I am behind, I won't. Well, I WILL, but another day. Besides the many that THIS post has taken.