"...it made me so dang baby hungry, LITERALLY!!! "

When I first read this blog from a link on Eric Snider's, I considered just slipping it into my links list as Rinny's blog, but decided not enough would notice the joke. But truly does it not remind you of her pink and fluffy world... and a few other people I know, too?

PURE GENIUS HILARITY. For most of you anyway.

p.s. Literally? Like a CANNIBAL? Awesome. "Love cut."

Fringe on the Farm

I miss the Fringe! It was so funny to see Parker and Risa! Like I think I even talked to Risa as much as Parker! Yay for Fringe-in-Law and yup, Mini-Fringe. HellBaby is now a little girl not a baby who whines a lot and apparently only likes things that are girls. LITERALLY "Don't worry, Helen! It's a GIRL pony." "No, Helen, it's not scary, these are GIRL goats." She still whined a lot. On the other hand, the baby, Tommy, is really smart and talks quite a bit for a 1 year old. And WASN'T whining the whole time. Boys are cooler.

But Hell WAS obsessed with SUE, a particular dinosaur at the Chicago Field Museum. (You may have heard of her. Sue is FAMOUS. I knew about her, anyway.) And so we had to relate all of the dinosaurs to her. "This is Sue's friend..." But then when she realized it was a DIFFERENT T-Rex at OUR museum she started to cry and got really homesick. This is their first family trip. *rolls eyes* ANyway, had to give her SOME props for being into dinosaurs. hee hee!

Anyway... PICTURES.

Yes, that is MommyDearest, PARKER'S mom with us. DON'T ASK.

I want to KEEP my Foster Kid but I can't afford a damn farm.

I was explaining this to Steph earlier who got it so hopefully this won't sound stupid to everyone else either. The reason I haven't been writing lately is I feel like a hypocrite and I don't want to feel like a hypocrite. ("Doin' the Hypocrite Rock rock!" Yeah, I still like Scripture Scouts. I AM a dork.)

I am having a particularly hard time emotionally right now. We have been adjusting my meds, continuing therapy, and working on it from other directions (I am on "meal time" shots, too, now)... but I still mostly feel like I am only half living, and am not "correct thinking" sometimes, which means 1. I finally got approved for one of the lower plans on Medicare (Yay!) and 2. Have been living at my parents' house and under their supervision since January. This week I moved back in to my own home with The Roomie and my critters! Unfortunately the reason I convinced everyone I could go back home WASN'T because I was doing so well, but because I had PROMISED the roomie I would tend the birds (and my own critters) for her big week long hike to Havasou which is now.

Right now the dealio is I HAVE to check in with my parents everyday. Which works since my mom babysits Josie the days I am in charge of day camps. But I am getting ahead of myself. Anyway, they think maybe after The Roomie comes BACK from her hike I should come back to the homestead, but I am negotiating. ;O) hee hee!

So, yeah, struggling. HOWEVER, the crazy part is I have been DOING super fun things! WHY AM I SAD?! It's not fair to be sad when things are good! That's screwed up! Besides being screwed up it makes me sound stupid and fake and hypocritical! "Life is so good! I want to die! Yay fun! I hate myself!" (Wow, that was a LOT of exclamation points.... bugger it. I meant them. They equal emotion, I was being emotive.) Grrr...

But anyway the good things, and I mean REALLY cool things. 1. Parkerisa and the Mini-Fringe HellBaby and new baby, Tommy came from Illinois to visit! 2. I got a foster kid and fell so in love with her it may rip my heart in to pieces to give her back when the time comes... oh, that last part is not so good. But Yeah.

For those of you worried that some deluded child services worker has given me the care of another human being, I mean LITERALLY, a KID. Josie is a baby goat. A Nigerian Pygmy goat to be specific and she is adorable. Her mama rejected her, now she thinks I'm mom. I bottle feed her every 4 hours, let her potty inside my house when we don't make it outside (though we are trying out diapers), worry about her sniffles, and laugh at her hysterical antics. I will have her till she is weaned and then I think I may die. I am so attached. She is horribly spoiled. She is also, unfortunately, every ounce AWARE of how cute and tiny she is and pushes every rule.

I am worried for her. She was a very tiny preemie and not expected to live, so some things are developing GREAT, others she is coming along, others she is behind. I can NOT get her to lick water from a bowl to save her life, though she loves to chew everything in sight. She loves to play and butt and jump onto EVERYTHING, but has major attachment issues when I leave her. It is back and forth. I want to keep her so bad, I have looked into houses with land and SHOCKINGLY (HA!) there are no small farms for rent for under 400 bucks with in commuting distance of work.

For now just trying to enjoy the moment... and learn to heat up bottles faster, change a GOAT'S diaper one handed, and cover the bruises my baby gives me by LITERALLY walking all over me.

Many MANY pictures to follow (of Josie, the wonder goat, not my bruises) as soon as I can find my dang connector cord that said housegoat has probably dragged away to hide and chew. Naughty little brat.

So, yeah, THE FRINGE WILL REAR AGAIN!!! At least Parker (and Risa and HellBaby and Tommy) and Me. And I will finish THAT story later because it is late and I WAS in bed till Josie woke me up and I decided to hold her and blog a little. TA DA! More later about Parker and Sue and MommyDearest and day camps and Stewie's baby shower and my awesome friends etc.

The Secret Life of Bees [and Boys]

I have had dumb boys on the brain lately. Like, as in, DUMB ones, specifically. Today it bothered me that it was Fresno's birthday. It bothered me even more so that I knew what I was going to give him.... I mean, like, I knew what I had planned. I had parts of this little thing. A silly homemade thing that WOULD have meant a lot, you know... if WE had meant a lot. Ugh. Yuck. BLEH.

And then there was yesterday. Our very first official GEOLOGY Merit Badge Class! We've done Environmental Science and Citizenship in the World but Geology is new and we are launching this big new program. The only hazard for me (besides the unearthly early hour of it starting, I mean! Ugh.) was that Geology meant everything made me think of f'retarded TexasBoy as he was a Geologist, like PROFESSIONALLY, for an oil company who works with NASA. He had all these dumb geology jokes about, like cleavage and schist and I thought of ALL of them during that class. (Thanks, TexAss. You may have broke my heart, but you left me with a butt-load of rock puns! hee hee hee!) But it was a fun class.


We had them pan for gold (they got real gold), mine a rock collection out of a sandy brick thing (we made them. Mixed sand and plaster) and label it in pretty cool little boxes we gave them, they learned about open pit vs. strip mining, stuff like that. THEN we got somewhat distracted from the rocks because 1st we found a couple of garter snakes. THEN one of our new girls found a toad. And THEN... OUR BEEKEEPER CAME TO REPLACE OUR HIVE!!!

Well, not the hive, but the inhabitants. Because, yes, they ALL DIED! And then I wanted to bawl. Seriously. Anyway, yeah, he came to give us new bees. (Heh heh. NewBees. Newbies. Hee hee!) And he was out there, cleaning out the hive and then, like INSTALLING them. Which I found so fascinating I proceeded to follow him like a paparazzi. The writing the 1st grade field trip curriculum lesson plans at the garden has made me slightly OBSESSED with bees. Plus, not that it was really ABOUT bees PER SAY, but I really DID like Secret Life of Bees and highly recommend it. And now I want to know ALL about bees, beekeeping, and honey and probably made the beekeeper feel uncomfortable with the number of questions I asked him.

Anyway, back to rocks. We DID get them (and me) back on track. They learned more stuff, I promise. We took them to the Museum and even with a few rowdy scouts we managed to evade any run-ins with Sgary.

It was good if I weren't feeling so crappy. Very very headache and sick. And stupid and depressed to boot. I just am rather tired of being me. But, yeah, that's pretty par for the course. Yeah. But I still do not want to leave this post on a depressed note, so too mildly inappropriate bee jokes!

What kind of Bees give milk?

>>>>Boo-Bees!


Knock knock.

Who's there?

Bumble Bee.

Bumble Bee who?

>>>Bumble Bee Cold if you don't put on some pants!