Pioneering New Steps as a Big Girl for Josie... and Oscar the Grouch's on Dope?

Pioneer Day (here in Utah and elsewhere for the LDS Church) and this year was a definite day for some Pioneering of our own. A day of firsts, both bad and good.

Oh sure, RINNY BEGAN celebrating in HER way (Pioneer Day (and Saint Patrick's Day) is one of the most important and exciting holidays in the Pink and Fluffy RinnyWorld... she wraps her hair in rag curls the day before, dresses in pioneer dresses all day, bakes bread all day, and drives us nuts playing the Trail of Dreams soundtrack (she played the first Bodil Mortensen... well, first except the real one, in pioneer times. HA!) on repeat at top volume. But ended up being uncharacteristically brave and leaving on a weekend camping/hiking/river rafting trip in Idaho surrounding the Twin Falls Temple open house! I am proud of her.

My little "foster kid" however, is not doing so well. Actually, pretty much feeling like if we WERE Pioneers, I might be one of those moms burying their babies by the side of the trail and I was crying and crying. When Josie was sick before, she had a stomach thing. Her little premie stomach just couldn't handle the food she thought she was ready for and it made her very sick. But this was... well, IS... worse. She has a very scary infection under where her horns were. She screams in pain when you accidentally touch her head. I took her to work and the top farm workers told me to put Preparation-H on it to draw out infection and just keep an eye on it. But after that... she started losing balance. And then, Wednesday or so she was SLEEPING ALL DAY. Lethargy is NOT a Josie thing. She is the most hyper critter EVER!

I had NO confidence in Preparation-H solving something like THIS. I was pretty sure being all sleepy like that meant it was systemic and spreading. AND I knew she needed to see a vet and get an antibiotic before I REALLY lost my baby along the "trail." So, since I was not actually able to drive right now, Mom came with and we took off for the farm to get little Josie and her yucky pussy head taken care of.

But before we got very far we saw thick billowing smoke coming from a under the lid of a household dumpster! It was in front of a neighbor's house and we stopped in front looking at it. It was sort of a yellowish color. I pulled over and went to the house to knock on the door and tell the homeowners, but they weren't there. I went to the can and my mom yelled "be careful, what if it explodes?!" but I felt the side of the can and it was hot but not super hat, so I stood BEHIND it so if I lifted the lid nothing would, like, make my head burst into flames. But there was a LOT of smoke coming from a black trash bag and it was very thick and yellow and smelled POISONOUS, so I dropped the lid and headed back to the Jeep to breathe. (I suspect it was something scary and flammable left in too hot of sun that started.) My mom said "what should we do? Should we just check on it when we get back from the farm?" and (this is where I feel quite proud of me) I said, "No, we call the FIRE DEPARTMENT!"
"Like the fire department?"
"Yeah, Mom!"
"Oh, I don't know if we can do that!"
So I picked up my phone and called. I told them the address. They asked the color of the smoke. They asked the distance of the can from the house. And they said that a fire engine was on it's way but that an officer was right by and would come immediately. He arrived and told us "we don't know what is burning in there, so let's have you guys parked further back at a safe distance." Then he talked to us and told us to actually leave the street, so we asked if we could just GO because as curious as we were to see the END of the story, as fire engines were roaring up, the people at the farm who could help Josie were going to LEAVE at 3 and I was really worried about my kid. He said we could and I left unfulfilled. But still... pretty crazy, eh?!

Well, Josie's little check up with WeatheredLeatheredFarmLady was good because she agreed that Josie was very ill and needed further treatment and BAD because she needed to get permission to have a vet see her from our favorite person Sgary.

HATEHIMHATEHIMHATEHIM.

He won't pay for vets or medicine for any but the "profitable" animals and we have "plenty" of goat kids and "if she dies, she dies."

Yes, THOSE WORDS.



However, WLFL said she did have some penicillin left over from another animal and could call up a vet friend for an un-official diagnosis and dosage. We did so and started injections. They hurt her pretty bad and she screamed QUITE loud. Poor little baby.

But after that things got better and she impressed me with 3 HUGE milestones!

When we got home Josie, though still very sick and sleepy, 1. ate (actually ate, swallowed, not just chewed on!) a substantial amount of hay! 2. stole an apricot and ATE IT!!! 3. DRANK WATER FROM A BOWL FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!!!!

When she drank that water, I started to cry. Because I knew that even if it was going to be very very hard (and it likely was) that the MANY prayers I had said this week had gotten through and that Heavenly Father was telling me that Josie really COULD get through this and be weaned and generally things WOULD be okay.

It's just all really hard. I love this Goat.

Happy [and SAD!] Pioneer Day!

And Then.

I have been sick and Depressed.
And then...
Josie got rather sick and I got MORE Depressed.
And THEN...

My house flooded. (Yes, AGAIN. Only this time worse, as this time it has to do with the sewer main. In other words, poop and pee that was FLUSHED came UP INTO MY BATHTUB and even WORSE into the drain in my laundry room... and then family room and bedroom and glider room...

In short, I can't use the water in my house. Nor can our Neighbors. We have no water and my home has sewage in it. We can't wash dishes or take showers. So once again, I am going to the Padres... goat and gliders in tow... to stay for what sounds like may be as long as TWO WEEKS now. As I was hearing 3 days, yesterday, this is not a good thing.

It started like this. I was already all stressed out because I really needed to get to work early. Monday's day camp? SpongeBob Science. And before actually teaching the truth about the biological counterparts of the Bikini Bottoms crew I really needed to:
*Get the Hermit Crabs set up at the Discovery Gardens classroom (Mr. Krabs' got nothing on my little cuties for holding kids' interest, I tell you! ).
*Give Josie her breakfast bottle, and put her lunch bottle in the farm fridge before leaving her at "Day Care" (the sheep pen!).
*Get some last minute supplies to CrazyConnie (who still rocks, p.s.) because Rinny is doing some extensions office thing in Logan. She's all busy right now being famous, too. She has been on the news a few times being all Rinny-ish for the PR people (they like her) on behalf of Thanksgiving Point even though she is just Education, technically. But they have sort of been using her as the poster girl for, well, WHATEVER! So, when Good Things asked for TGP's CHEFS to come, TGP said, "yeah, see, the Chefs don't WANT to be on TV. How about Corinne does some day camp stuff instead?" And they decided okay. You can watch it here. The best part is when the news chick chokes on peanut butter. (I really wish I could SAVE it. It is about to disappear off the site!)

So I was HURRYING to get to work when I stepped in a PUDDLE in my hall. A BIG puddle. My first thought was "Josie, how the heck did you..." but then realized this was way beyond the extent of my little goat's bladder. I was running out the door, and called my padre's, on the verge of bawling. "I think my house is flooding and I am late to work! Can you check my house please?"

Well, they said yes, but apparently DIDN'T rush right over... and by the time SpongeBob Science was over and I could call home Mom had BAD news. The whole hall, bedroom, glider room and part of the family room had flooded with yucky sewer and drain water. All of it has to be replaced. These guys, an EXCAVATION CREW, are coming to take out the main line. There are cracks.

So, yeah, you might say I am struggling just a little.

I NEED SOME FREAKING HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!



(Thanks Sherpa!)


(when I first read the title of Sherpa's Blog entry with those 2 Sesame Street clips "Feist on Sesame Street" My first dumb thought was "THE CAT?!" Yeah. Because Josie's pussycat friend would be on Sesame Street. THAT makes sense. heehee)

Why I should read plots before watching movies that come on TV late at nights

Oh my mental issues. Depression and I are NOT friends... yet we sure hang out a lot together! GRRRR...

Last night I was dumb. I was already super sad and yet I watched this quirky little movie on TV. It's called Loverboy.

It's one of those movies that has weird parents and kids in it where I start out going "Awesome! That is so the kind of kid I am going to have! THAT is probably the kind of mom I am going to be!"

Then it turns to "Crap. That IS the kind of kid I am going to have. And I am definitely going to be that mom."

And then sometimes "Ohnoohnoohno. When I grow up I am going to drown myself and my kid in the bathtub." And end up bawling till my eyes feel like falling out.

Movies like About a Boy and Martian Child. But those end... Happier.

So I went to bed crying. Josie is sick and that sure doesn't help. My poor baby.

The Ups and Downs of being a Mom [of a Goat]

(I know, you moms of humans are going to scoff, but I don't care.)

Even though I think of my gliders as my babies, my kids, etc, and they ARE, there is just something different about really being a surrogate mother to something. Bottle feeding or pretend regurgitating for "your" baby who really thinks you are Mom. It is just something different and a bond that really gets to your heart. Why is it that I never end up doing some with someone I GET to KEEP?! Because letting them go after that just takes a part of that heart with them.

I have had Martin, Plicethenese, and now Josie. (Marco ALMOST qualifies, as do a few other rescues we've done, but not QUITE.) Martin was my robin. He was brought to me by a neighbor kid after a cat decimated a nest in his yard. Plicethenese was Epiphany and Heber's Baby who she tried to kill, and succeeded in half blinding before I took him away at 3 days old.

But Josie is just cracking me up... and making me cry... she is just making me crazy both ways, really. I love her!

The Good Stuff

*She likes to sleep at my feet or on my lap while I type. I love it. It makes me feel like I have a dog again.

*That FACE. *melts*

*When she prances, dances, and jumps around the room, yard or playground and seriously shows off. Is there anything as funny as a goat kid playing? Is there some way to bottle that and sell it? Or would it just be labeled some sort of Meth?

*Her soft soft fur, especially after being brushed. ESPECIALLY her soft, gery, velvety ears.

*When she gets all full of herself and tries to butt me. Or the dogs. Or my DAD. It is hilarious.

*Taking her on walks or to play on playground stuff in the park. Good exercise for both of us.
Plus, while there, she's forces me to be social. She is like 2 friends at once... the super popular one everyone runs over to see AND the super shy one who can't speak and makes ME have to talk to people.




The Baaaaah-d Stuff

*This used to be my cute little ear "buds" for my palm pilot and MP3 player... nice ones... skullcandy. SIGH.


*She can SNEAK into rooms that I swear I shut the doors to. Her little jingly cat bell collar and trip-trap billy goats gruff feet seem to have no effect on this fact. SPOOKY!


*I worry a LOT about her progression. Goats learn so much by example. I take her to work and put her in the pen to play with the other baby goats and sheep and learn what she needs to but so far she is NOT getting it and just spends the whole time SCREAMING. Today was the first day she spent the WHOLE work day in the pen except for a half hour break when I came to give her here bottle. She didn't stop screaming that whole time. She didn't play with the other goats or nibble with them or try drinking from a dish. She stayed far away from the strangers, waiting by the gate for "Mom." I don't want her to be messed up. Spoiled is one thing. But Retarded, literally, is quite another.

Playing Tag with a goat, a clown, and a clarvoyant

I got this from My friend from our Yahoo group the MormonView, Mother Goose.

3 JOYS
1. My critters
2. My Friends
3. Those warm, quiet times when I actually remember how much God loves me and the truth of the Gospel. The Church is a very very good thing.

3 Fears
1. Living the rest of my life the way I am now.
2. the death or suffering of my loved ones
3. speaking in public.

3 Goals
1. Lose weight for better fitness and better diabetes control!
2. Become financially independant
3. get my dang house ORGANIZED!!!!!

3 Current obsession/ Collection
1. Josie the Amazing Circus Goat!

2. Sugar Gliders. Have you seen my babies? They are beautiful.
3. BOOKS. I am addicted to reading.

3 Random Surprises about me
1. I used to be obsessed with ghost stories and the supernatural when I was a little kid. My mom was super worried I would grow up creepy. I held séances in our garage when I was 7 and stuff. Yes, I was a WEIRD kid.
2. I used to be a clown for birthday parties. I can twist balloons. Yes, really.
3. I sometimes do not take meds I should just to find out if I still need them. Ummm... I DO.

Remedial Citizenship?

The 4th of July here in America. Okay, fine, so it's 4th of July everywhere... except, ya know, for time zones. Independence Day. There. Hee hee!

This week we have all been deep in the week long Robotics camp which SOUNDS fun but is in fact... okay, a little fun, but mostly hellishly frustrating. Plus, THIS camp and location is not goat friendly and I know it sounds pathetic, I MISSED my Josie Girl!!! Seriously! My mom tended her and when I came home she would trot up all cute bleating all happy and I scooped her up. I love that little kid. So just being done with THAT is very good. And today I played with her all day... including being semi-invited to a family picnic.

Okay, so the FAM was invited to a thing with the Aunty O crew, but we were gonna be there over 2 different bottle times. So I told Mom I would just stay home... but she called and asked if it would be okay if Josie came and they said "Uhh... that should be fine..." Not exactly an enthusiastic invitation for my baby (understandably so... really, I know. I mean, "hi, can we bring a goat to your party?" But she is my baby right now...) BUT they were super nice... and I am pretty sure her cuteness... especially letting the kiddlet cousins feed her bottles (all the parents took pictures), and seeing her run with the kids alongside the Slip-n-Slide and playing with them all (it's fun for her to be with little folks closer to her own size. hee hee) ... won EVERYONE over!

She is pretty dang adorable after all.

Then some of the cousins and kiddlets left because they were off to Stadium of Fire to see the Fireworks and the little girls were in a frenzy over getting to see miss Hannah Montana herself. (I would like to see Blue Man Group, but the last time I actually went to Stadium of Fire it was All 4 One. hee hee! Yeah, it's been awhile.)

Anyway, we had a pretty good time and everyone is getting so old! I remember when Brett and Annie lived with us in our house in Provo when they first got married... now they have, like, 5 kids. Very cute ones, too. And Alisha, who actually lived in GRANDMA'S basement (even though they are the other side of the fam) when she was, like, 2 was there with her fiancé! I can't BELIEVE they are old enough. ('specially they both look, like, 14.) It was weird to realize how big the little ones are getting. Wacky.

Then we went home to watch the Padres' "Neighborhood of Fire"... or rather we WENT and then Josie and I took off because I was done with family and my head hurt and I was not feeling all that cool right then. And Josie should be in bed. So here I am, HEARING fireworks, blogging, and feeling my little goat asleep on my foot.

OH, and in honor of our countries birthday, it's a dang good thing I was BORN here. Because for kicks and giggles I took a citizenship quiz.

"You answered 45% of questions correctly. Here's your rating:

45-60%: Not too bad, but you really need to break out the civics books again -- word is, the INS is looking for an 80 percent score."

Happy Birthday, America. Sorry for sucking! hee hee hee!

Broke, Broken <3ed, and Breaking Away

A couple a days ago I had a "disagreement" with Padre as usual... but this one went somewhere. My Palm Pilot died and I bought another.

He saw it at church and looked up online how much it cost and decided it was way too much. He did the same thing about my camera.

He freaked out.

*I* freaked out back and told him I used my OWN money so it should not matter to him.

His answer was, as usual, that as dependent as I am on them, I DO NOT HAVE "MY OWN" MONEY.

I have heard this before. Mom and I have talked about it and I have said how I WANT to be, essentially CUT OFF just so it is none of the padres' business what I spend it on and be independent. But between how much my medications cost and how little I can work sometimes because of my medical problems, being even REMOTELY financially independent was just not a possibility.

Okay, here is what has changed. I finally got accepted to Medicaid for prescriptions. Therefore, $3 for stuff I used to pay $300 for. I can do that. Therefore, we had a little talk and I said stay out and he said not while I am responsible blah blah BLAH so I said you are NOT.

So, I will see how long my independence can withstand on a part-time job and a lot of pain. But I think it is a good thing. Anyway, I needed to do it (though my mom doesn't agree and is sad FOR me and dad is furious at AT me.). And except for rent right now because mom said dad is not going to charge me rent, I am paying my own way FINALLY. At least... as long as I can. Just may shop as often or ever leave my house.

The Broken Heart part of all this is just DUMB. There is a guy who's done bird shows for us before. He helped with the owls. He is cool (probably married, but whatever.) and funny and has a bunch of awesome birds (I know that's not a turn on for normal people, but hey, I have sugar gliders for children and carry a baby goat with me when I go shopping.). And, even thoough it is hard to tell in the owl slides he also happens to be rather cute and look like Fresno. So he comes over to us while we are cleaning up after robotics yesterday and starts chatting with me and I am talking all comfortable and sort of flirty. Then I get in the car and see myself in the mirror as I LOOK after a whole day of day camp of 11-14 year old boys and plaster of paris and 100 degree weather and catching tadpoles. I started to bawl.

I looked like crap on a crap pile and felt worse. The idea that I 1. talked to a boy pretty much because he looked like Fresno 2. still ever think about Fresno and 3. talked to a boy looking like me... being me. Yeah, I know how emo that is. But that's what I was feeling.

Followed that up with a really hard appointment with Dr. Apparently. Cried a bunch there. Like, non-stop. Went home with the puffiest red eyes, and my muscles aching. I cried into little Josie's fur and she cheered me up with her antics.

Seriously, that kid is hilarious. She just DANCES everywhere. She is a little beautiful animal. She plays on everything and play fights with anyone that moves. We play and she makes me giggle and stuff. What can I say? Little critters cure a host of ills... at least for an hour or so.

Makes me feel better about my plans to be a single "crazy cat lady" (but not with cats, with everything else) the rest of my life. Josie is adorable. My gliders are too. And I love my turtles and other critters mean a lot to me too. My little zoo is my solace.