Saturday, January 30, 2010

Gastro Rant

You know, the chronic migraines, the Diabetes, the Depression, etc. they all get to me and frankly makes it hard to deal some days.  Somedays I don't feel so much like being funny.  This is one of those moments.  So for just a bit, pardon my rant while I whine a bit about how my Gastroparesis ****s up my life.

Gastroparesis, for me, means:
*I'm now vegetarian... but can't have fresh fruit or vegetables.
*keeping my fat under 40 grams a day... but never seeming to lose weight. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!
*Stomachaches that hurt so bad I can't go to church, can't go to work, can't go to a party, can't see my friends, can't think about returning to school, can't cope, can't HOPE.
*No social life. Wanna go out for dinner? Oh sure, you eat, I'll just bring an Ensure in my pocket! Because I don't seem awkward enough BEFORE!
*A acceptable reason to turn down anyone's cooking. I am allergic to FOOD! ;)
*The food pyramid is crumbling! Nowhole grains, no meat, no veggies, no fruit, little fats and sweets... poor little food Mummies... where will they live? Or be entombed, rather?


  1. Oh man! That blows atomic twinkie chunks...oh wait, you probably can't eat twinkies either...Wish there was some magical cure I could offer.