Just. too pissed. at life. to write.

Sorry.


more animals

Sciatica problems where I can hardly walk. New psych. New Therapist. New General Practitioner. Another sewer line break UNDER MY ROOM means a jack hammer through my floor. Gas line break (thanks, Blue Stakes, for never showing!). 3 major computer crashes. Stomach issues. Insurance issues.

ISSUES.

Sanitized for your Protection

So, guess what. It's not that my blog was actually SECRET from my mom, heck I have given her the link on several occasions. But last week, she actually read some. Unfortunately, it was the family reunion (hers) and then links back to other stuff about her family, etc. So, she felt bad. I do NOT want my mom to feel bad. Those of you that KNOW my mom know that she is one of my best friends. So after a long talk about what she thinks is appropriate for a blog that is public and what I totally disagree with her on and a few that I do agree on here is the compromise.

First of all, if I have made any of you who read feel bad I am SUPER sorry. That is the part we totally agreed on. I would hate for any of you guys to ever be hurt by things I said. Including her. Which Is why I have sort of edited the blog a bit.

Due to the second request of my mother, I have now removed references to ***** *****, **** *******, etc. However, there will continue to be references to zombies, hookers, poop, boobs, and Morphine. She'll have to deal with that. Not that I think she will be a reader per se. But I will still write the same. I am just... really... SORRY. To my mom. And to anybody on that side of the family that felt bad. And ESPECIALLY, to anyone who feels like I betrayed their confidence. I really CAN keep secrets. I am sorry.

Lifestyles of the Funny and Famous

This past week has been a hard one. I had to give up my Josie girl and do a week long camp. I have been sick, physically... and depressed terribly over my little goat. I miss her. She doesn't belong at that farm, in a swarm of other goats competing for what little food they get right now (stupid hay crisis), one of many, dirty and forgotten. Josie deserves to be a PET. A family pet who is pampered and adored and loved and spoiled and fed fresh hay and grains and only the best nutrition (and maybe a fruit loop or 2 as treat.). I hate that she is there, crying and alone. And I hate that I am working on the other side of the property with 11-14 year olds and stressing out and crying every night.

It was a good class. The kids were funny.

But it was a struggle. And I was hurting a lot and being very ill is not helping.

ANYWAY, finally the week was over... and with it ended the Summer Day Camp Season. Next comes the Field Trip Season. But there is a break in between. And on Friday was -TA DA-The Brian Reagan show!

Oh the perks of clout... of my SISTER. Friday,we totally got in early for Brian Reagan because of Rinny. We got recruited to "VIP services" awhile and were able to lay blankets down on the platform.

Here is the thing. I took pictures and a few videos at Brian Regan. Of where we were, of Rinny accidentally parking in front of his tour bus so we looked like stalkers blocking them in, of us driving around in golf carts, of the crowd coming in all scary like a zombie movie, of Mali and Katie (of the Chums!) chillin' and giggling, and, of course, of BRIAN REAGAN! So why aren't they posted? BECAUSE THEY ARE LOST!!! I have been using the search function and everything and the files are just... gone. So, there you go. BUT, just know this, HE WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!

As for the fame of my sister, remember how awhile ago she did Good Things Utah and taught them ice cream and Peanut Butter Play Dough? Well, they REALLY liked her and asked her back to show some crafts. When they asked for some ideas she might do she gave them a list and rather than PICK they said "okay, maybe 5 more shows." TGP PR people are THRILLED and are calling her the "face of Thanksgiving Point." Our DEPARTMENT is happy because that makes us and our classes look cool.

But yeah, Rinny is famous again and GUESS WHAT, indirectly, SO AM I! Because she assigned me to make the examples! SO, when you watch this clip, know that *I* decorated those pots (badly... don't look much at those) but she made the flower pens, *I* made the paper chain calendar (CC, yours and my friend Ellie May's birthdays are on that thing), she made the Capri Sun bags, she sewed the lunch bags but I DECORATED them (one with Yo Gabba Gabba! Yes, Thai, I fully credit this new level of obsession to YOU.), and she made the book covers but... the books covered are mine? Yeah. We rock.

OH, ALSO, just another TGP thing, in case you didn't know Tuesdays in August are $2 Tuesdays. That is, like Cheaper than *I* can get you in! $2 for ANY VENUE even the uber expensive MUSEUM! Now, mind you there are very few Tuesdays IN August left and the lines are HORRENDOUS, but still, just letting you know.

("I want my two dollars... CASH!")

Saying Goodbye

My very last weekend with Josie. It was decided awhile ago, but that doesn't make it easier. And it almost came much sooner because the WeatheredLeatheredFarmLady asked me to leave her there. "Let her be a goat." I asked if I could wait till Monday as planned. Reluctantly, WLFL agreed, rolling her eyes. But she agreed. So on Monday Josie WON'T be coming back to sleep at the house. She'll be sleeping (or yelling a lot and keeping the other animals awake) at the farm now.

Today is the last day I will have my baby girl.

But YESTERDAY was the Family Reunion for my Mom's Side! Woohoo! Well, Woohoo and simultaneously UGH. But I will explain. And it's not just the normal "Ugh this is a long boring family event" type ugh. Because, well, I had both Breaking Dawn and Josie the Amazing to entertain me if my cousins and their kids didn't (or rather, if my stupid anxiety made me anti-social around my own dang family... it's not THEIR fault I get weird.). *sigh* But anyway...

We went to the same park we went to last year. We had picnic lunches and listened to some remarkably good music (I don't know for SURE which cousin did the CDs (I think Camille (Aunt K and Uncle Ken's daughter... Brady's sister) but I think we should share playlists!) OH! Then my favorite best friend/cousin, Meggy came! Megs and Jakey are all into the Olympics especially (not surprisingly) the horse stuff. Megan told us about this cool horse, Poggio, who was a PACK horse and now is an Olympian! WAY awesome stuff! Megan knows lots of cool stuff!

The cousins' kiddlets (and some of the cousins) got crazy on a Slip 'n' Slide and someone accidentally broke the park's DRINKING FOUNTAIN. Yeah, that was wild.

Josie played with the kids and kept me psychologically anchored. Kids played in the stream and caught water skeeters. Parents talked. The Zoobies remind me more of the Weasleys everyday. JD and Waunita's kid brought a Beardie, though and wanted info on how to raise Mealies... the Beardie was a TINY baby. I gave them much more info than they wanted I am sure. I want a Bearded Lizard someday. I will name it Stanley Yelnats. Rinny threw football with Padre and then took a nap. And she really liked Josie. Also Shandy's Mini-Shandy LOVED her. BTW, Mini-Shandy's dad (I think... I am not ACTUALLY sure all the kids are his?) was there too and seems to be a VERY nice guy and a stable influence on Shandy. Yay for good guys!

It was all pretty fun until most of the family left and we were about to leave when the stupid car decided it was being stolen. It does that OFTEN, the alarm going off and not letting us turn it off. But this time it would NOT relent. It wouldn't turn off OR let the car start.

Calling the DEALER didn't work. Popping the hood and having the cousin-in-law with a questionable background try to disable it did not work. We had to get it to TOWED! It was an ordeal. But Uncle John and fam were awesome enough to drive us home... but Josie was TRAPPED IN THE TOWED CAR! I was so stressed the whole time. I cried when we got home till Padre got her back. This is not how I wanted to spend my last days with her... AWAY from her?! I am going to miss my baby so much.

Spoiler-Free Zone, Madam.

Today was... long. Work was more than a little arduous and I am feeling it. However, Josie is doing better and healing well. She seriously is so funny. But weaning is hard. She cries and cries and it is hard not to give her a bottle. She gets so frustrated. So do I. She is going to have to SLEEP at the farm soon... Like, as in, next week. That is the cut off. I am going to bawl. She is so spoiled... she is going to have a hard time adjusting to sleeping outside with no bed or even a rug (I took away her fluffy bed last week to get her used to it. She suffered.) and mostly, without Mama 15 feet away in my room. But I know it is harder on me. I hate hearing her SCREAM like that... like I am starving her. <:O( Poor baby.

Oh! Today I had her out at the pen to see people and this SUPER cute family were asking about her. I think they were from India and they had the most BEAUTIFUL British accents and SO proper. The little boy kept asking me things like, "May I pet her head, Madam?" MADAM? I mean, Ma'am, sure... but Madam? hee hee hee! They were awesome.

Today I had to leave part way during work because I had an appointment with my neurologist, Dr. FTW. She wanted to follow up on my headaches (better... well, less frequent anyway) which was fitting considering when I LEFT the office I happened to be working alone with all the lights off trying to stave off a bad one. Nothing much new. I am still weird. I still hurt. I'm still something like a walking pharmacy. I am still depressed (OH. BUT something HAS changed with that. I forgot.).

Because I finally got some Medicare I can pay for myself going to a Psych IF I go to an approved one (Wasatch Mental Health)... but not if I still see Dr. Apparently. So last time I told him that I MAY come back but that I was going to try to go there. I am nervous about that, big time.

Other than that I am engrossed in the book.

Yes. I am one of those. But I pre-ordered and they only just delivered it so unlike all the others I have not finished... so in order to not see spoilers I am avoiding all blogs about the Twilight series. AND as I said, I have been crazy busy at work. So I have not been able to read as much as I want.

I am in the middle and so far like it, but am scared to death because I have heard this from so many people about hating it. I don't WANT to hate it... does the hating it happen right away? If I am in the middle, still in love, am I safe from hating it? Or will I suddenly hate it after 2/3? Just THAT little hint would help me brace myself, you might say.