Phisherman.... I'm grading them now

So, I used to play with those who tried to toyed with me (see what I did there? Toy? Hee hee!) Now, apparently, as I am teaching more, I grade them.  As phisherman goes, this one ranks pretty high up there! So I thought I'd share!

Homeland Security
U.S. Department of Homeland Security
New York USA




Date: Nov. 9th 2011

Sir,


RE URGENT NOTICE

Records shows that you are among one of the individuals and organizations that are yet to have their consignments with the Hartsfield Jackson International airport Atlanta Georgia delivered. We noticed from our investigation that you have two metal trunk boxes to be delivered to you which you have abandoned for a long time due to your non compliance with the Airport authority directives thereby putting the delivery process on hold. Our further investigations revealed that some people took advantage of this to extort money from beneficiaries claiming to be the staffs of the airport due to the fact that they are aware of the existence of the boxes in the airport.


The Cyber Crime Division of the Home-land security gathered information from the Internet Crime Complaint Center (ICCC) formerly known as the Internet Fraud Complaint Center (IFCC) of how some people have lost outrageous sums of money to these imposters. As a result of this we hereby advise you to stop communication with any one not referred to you by us.

We have negotiated with the U.S Treasury department that your consignment delivery to your address from the Hartsfield Jackson international Airport will be handled by them since our investigations revealed that the content of the boxes are money totaling $16,500,000.00. (SIXTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) which has been tested and approved by the U.S. Treasury Department before they accepted the offer that it is not a counterfeit and that you are the rightful owner of the consignment.

We guarantee 100% delivery of your boxes, because we have perfected everything in regards to the release of your boxes to be 100% risk free and free from any hitches as it’s our duty to protect citizens of the United States of America. (This is as a result of the mandate from US Government to make sure all luggage’s belonging to citizens of America  are been cleared for the betterment of the current economic status of the nation and its citizens as he has always believed Our Time for Change has come because Change can happen.

In response to this letter we will advice you on whom to contact at the U.S Treasury department who will cross check with the airport authority to find out the exact amount due to your boxes to be paid to the airport authority which they are going to handle themselves to avoid any impostor who might claim what he is not, note that that you are not allowed to deal directly with the airport authority as all dealing must go through the U.S. Treasury Department to avoid any further delay and all interactions must be through email to help us checkmate all the discussions for record purposes.

Finally, you have to be aware that Homeland security and indeed the United States Government can not be held responsible for any further delay or loss of your boxes if you fail to comply with the directives of this office.



Mr. Frank Navarro.
Director of Operations,

What they did [remarkably] right:

•  Grammar! Spelling! AMAZING!  Apparently a home-grown scammer who passed their college English classes for a change. Impressive!
• Cryptic inspirational message for kicks and giggles with unnecessary capitalized word. "...he has always believed Our Time for Change has come because Change can happen."

What they did wrong:

• Told me right out they would be taking money from me. "check with the airport authority to find out the exact amount due to your boxes to be paid to the airport authority"
• Told me "Don't call the airport or anyone involved in this! Just email us... I mean them!" "you are not allowed to deal directly with the airport authority as all dealing must go through the U.S. Treasury Department to avoid any further delay and all interactions must be through email to help us checkmate all the discussions for record purposes."

HOW STUPID DO I LOOK?!

Who are you again?

SOOOOO the blog was hacked.  I have been through all the stages of grief, but denial took a couple weeks because setting up a new one and telling friends about it was just too daunting.

So here we are.

The worst part of it isn't losing readers (as I don't actually know that I had many anyway), it is losing links to all my friends that I listed on the side.  If you were one of those (or even if you weren't, but want to be) PLEASE tell me what your blog address is. We can rebuild it... we have the technology!

Bewbs

So the family gossip...
1. My brother, BoyKid is pretty much done with Kimpossible.  She has a missionary and isn't worth the fight, apparently.

2. There is a creeper at My sister, Rinny's apartment complex. Rinny's roommate's bras were all stolen from the washing machine as well as some other girls' bras and swimsuits.  That is kind of amusing, but not as funny as her roomie's response. "At least they aren't my good bras.  They are just the OLD ONES I SLEEP IN."
Whiskey Tango... SLEEP IN?!  I realize that, though I am a girthy girl, I have almost no boobs.  So I actually debate whether an activity of the day warrants a bra at ALL.  But who sleeps in their bra?  Weirdo.

Today I went through a lot o my paperbacks and parted with a LOT of books.  I am going to have a massive garage sale soon.  Because I am basically letting go the MAJORITY of my possessions.  I feel like a monk.









A monk who talks about boobs.

Shedding my Old Ways!

So nice of Jack to make my metaphorical title for me. Sorry it's a cell phone pic. He is pulling off his shedded skin and underneath he is all bright and shiny! Awww... my gecko is so freaking cute!

Welcome to my new blog!!!

Since my post by email email address was compromised (thanks, MyLife! YOU SUCK!!!!) I have had to move. But at least it's a good time for a fresh start.

Now, to try and tell all my friends where my new digs are located! Spread the word! The Library is CLOSED! Enter the fascinating
www.Thefreelogomakers.com

remembering "Frannie"

Memorial Day is a day to remember those who have died, and I know it's mostly supposed to be for those who have served the country, but it's... expanded, I suppose. A day to remember anyone we have lost.

Sunday I somehow ended up mostly talking about and thinking about Brady. Mom and I somehow got on to 9-11 from NOTHING about Memorial Day on our way to church, which of course turned into "how I felt that day" and missing my cousin a lot. Ended up crying on the way into church, which did NOT help my headache (but then the opening HYMN was too LOUD for me (that is how messed up my head is right now). That was hard.

Another who I felt like crying over, though I don't KNOW them, is the story of 2nd Lieutenant John Alley. Following it, joining the "Find him" group on Facebook... watching news stories and feeling sick along with this family I do not know. Why does it affect ME so much? I do not know. I don't know them. But my heart breaks for them. And I hurt so much inside the more I hear about John's state of mind. I am praying for them.

But the main one I am trying to remember is more of a funny one than something so sad. A few days ago, a lady wrote my mom to ask for information about my grandpa's death so she could better date a letter she had found. It was a letter HER mother had written to my grandma but apparently never sent some 20 years ago at least... but about an earlier TIME when my Grandma was going to nursing school, starting just after high school. The things she mentions are hilarious, and I like the way her friend "Ruth" writes. It is so cool picturing my grandma so... almost Anne Shirley-ish!
(p.s. "Bus" was my grampa... but Ruth calls him Buzz in here)

Dearest Frannie,

Remembering back thru all the years we have known each other reminds me of Charles Dickens “It was the worst of all times and the best of all times.”

Possibly the memories that are so vivid to me you may have long forgotten, but perhaps in recalling them you may know once more the carefree happiness and, yes, even some despair of those years long past.

Do you remember:

When we checked in at the nurse’s home and fussy little Mrs. Battan (?) briefed us on the do’s and don’t’s of our new home in the little room top floor on the southwest wing?

How we could hardly wait to graduate from our stripped crab-blue dresses to the full skirted uniforms with white bibs and aprons only to have a new style pain straight white uniform when that day finally arrived?

The morning at Devotional when I was called on to pray and stood mute and absolutely petrified and you calmly proceeded to offer the prayer and no one even realized that it was you, not me?

The long hard hours we worked with the fear of dismissal always hanging over our heads like a sword of Damocles?

The days we walked up to the U. (University of Utah) to afternoon classes and home again – absolutely famished – even cafeteria food was delicious.

You getting scarlet fever and all our class sent home early for Christmas vacation – just as if you had done something very naughty and we were all being punished!

The nice boys you introduced me to – how happy Turp and I were for awhile and what fun we had dating together and separately with other boys?

The day I was called off duty to the nurse’s home and my Aunt and Uncle told me my brother Jack had died. – scarlet fever and pneumonia and only my youngest brother to comfort him. We went out with Turp and Ray after the funeral – Did my relatives think it heartless of me – somehow I felt deserted and that I was the only one who truly mourned for him.

The beautiful summer nights when we slept out on the screened porch at our cottage – how many cots in a row!!

The night Sally wrestled someone’s date to the floor (was it yours?) in the front room of the nursing home. Horror of horrors and where was Mrs. Duke?

Also the evening she dumped me in a bath tub full of water and me fully clothed and the house mother scolding you for all the commotion.

The psychology class directly after lunch in the sunroom on the top floor of the hospital and everyone trying desperately to stay awake. I got my lowest grade in that class.

Finally, graduation night, new uniforms, a stripe on our caps and a bouquet or roses. No one from my family came. I felt so badly I don’t even remember but surely your family was there. I went with Allan afterward – where I no longer remember.

Then I was married and you went to Heber to work and we slowly drifted apart. Strange that as close as we were I don’t believe we ever wrote to each other.

Then Buzz came home and you were married – remember the reception at the old Jensen home?

Several of us were at your little house for a party (I believe before Kay was born) and were fooling around with table tipping.

I will never forget you and Buzz taking my children and me into your home for a week after Laurie’s birth when I was so depressed life itself seemed useless. How did you manage I wonder?

Again when I left Allan and came home from California you and Buzz gave of your comfort and strength and helped me start over.

I think of you often and wonder why we never made more effort to talk to each other or visit together (both of us so caught up in our family and work, I suppose) but some how I always feel close to you and when we do meet it is as if no time has passed and we are the same young carefree girls of the long ago golden days.

God be with you, Frannie dear, and bless you and Buzz with joy and happiness for all your lives.

I giggled at Grandma as a young nurse saying the prayer instead of her terrified friend and since everyone's eyes were closed, nobody knowing. I felt so bad thinking of friends that close drifting apart, knowing I do that even to my closest friend... pushing them away even, ESPECIALLY when I am saddest and probably need them most.

It also renewed my resolve to someday write a historical fiction about her as a kid; Grandma, I mean. Grandma as a little girl growing up with an abusive father and her mother dying from blood poisoning all during the Great Depression. Doing the crazy things she did. And now, standing in and praying for a stage-fright afflicted friend. But I will just cram all the stories together. Someday.

Because my grandma was, if nothing else, a CHARACTER.

honest with a robot

Today was a hard day. I started to have a really terrible pain in my foot Thursday morning and it has been getting worse and worse. The thing is, my mom had it the same way in the same spot and if it is the same, well, that's not good.

If it doesn't stop over the weekend I am going to have to get it checked out.

But hobbling around is not the only thing I have been dealing with today. A woman called to tell me she had found my credit card outside the pool and called the company. They told her to cut it up and when I called to report it missing it would already be destroyed. Well, she called me, too, and left it at the pool desk.

It is nice that there are honest people out there.

I deposited my recent pay check into checking... only to find that as my auto-payment had just gone through ON THAT CARD... I was over drawn and even my new pay check didn't cover it. I transfered my savings into it to get me out of the whole.

I called the credit card company to "officially" report my card lost, found and destroyed and the computer voice asked me to verify which of the recent charges I had made.

I admit that for just a moment I thought "I am in debt. I could at least say I did not buy what was recent." I would NEVER have thought that had I been talking to a PERSON, but somehow, talking to a robot, I lose my integrity? Well, I didn't. But it crossed my mind. And THAT made me feel horrible even thinking about it.

But no, I do not lie. Not even to Robots.

But my life is a little scary right now. I can't hang on to this job just because I like it for much longer. I am out of money. My good insurance runs out in November. I am scared to start dealing with the Voc Rehab. I am nervous about my procedure with Dr. YeahBaby... which is TUESDAY.

And now I am limping because of a maybe nueroma (benign growth thing) and have to borrow money from the padres. UNCOOL.

My I Have a Dream Speech would REALLY suck...

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.
- David Richerby

Last night I dreamed the Roomie and I actually ADOPTED Mini-Roomie. And we were a COUPLE. And we were Lesbians. Also, there was a talking plant in our living room that wanted to EAT Mini-Roomie.

And last night my mom dreamed Padre had KIDNAPPED a child of one of his renters to hold as ransom till they paid their rent.

At least I come by my insanity honestly. GEEZ.

Shrink Rap

Well, the Psych says I need therapy. I know, shocker. He was REALLY nice and cool, but he can't take me as a real patient anyway. But he said he will help me find someone that can see me. SIGH. It was... hard, though. I don't like saying some things out loud if that makes sense. And I cried and I hate doing that in front of doctors and stuff.

I have "homework" for the Insomnia study but it is really discouraging. So we shall see.

After about 2 HOURS with the shrink I went to work. Mostly just prepared for tomorrow's CLASSES that I am in charge of (and hence, a little nervous). It is going to be a very VERY long day tomorrow, too. I have several 2nd grade field trips and those are the ones we make ice cream so SORE muscles. And the big evening class "I Want to Be a Cowboy/Cowgirl!"

It makes me giggle because, well, for one, I DON'T really want to be a cowgirl. And of all the animals on the farm right now Chief, the head pony is my second least favorite (The first being Meagan the goat that wants to kill me.). And I don't even really LIKE cowboys. (Okay, not ALWAYS true. Cowboy Matt is awesome. And rather hot.

And sometimes when boys that are NOT cowboys pretend and DRESS UP like cowboys they, too, are hot though uncharacteristically hick-ish. Still... HOT. *whistling innocently*)

However, I DO want to be a Cowgirl/Cowboy TEACHER because we are totally making STICK HORSES!!! With sock heads! And that will be way funny. Plus paper bag puppets of cows. And, you know, teach about farming, what we DO with cows and horses, etc. And maybe I can somehow figure out a way to work carrying Ambrosia around like a baby into the lesson. Just because she is so sweet.

It should be a fun class. However, my assisting teachers will be Rerun *rolls eyes* and Grandma Betty. Better than before, though, as the ACTUAL ones assigned were Rerun and Milestoner but she announced today that she was quitting. Not, like 2 weeks notice, like "Ummm, yeah, I am not going to come anymore." WHATEVER. Good riddance. Except, of course, that means we are even MORE short staffed. And at least incompetent workers are warm bodies. (Which is why Rerun is still at the top of his game! Actually, he deserves SOME credit. He IS trying harder. It's not WORKING, he is still almost more work than help, but he is trying. E for effort, Rerun.

My head is getting worse and I am scared it is THE Headache. I am not ready to do that whole death/stroke/paralysis-risk procedure again YET. If I have to, I will. But not yet. So today I went back to Physical Therapy. That hurt. Then felt better. And now hurts a lot. BLEH.

There were no new animals at the farm today, but that is not the case at The Ark, the house me and my roomie and our critters share. It is good to live with someone who likes your pets and you like theirs. But sometimes it is dangerous to have an ally. Because if you BOTH feel the need to take in the strays, fosters, and orphans of the world, who is there to tell you "No, not this one. That is too much." (But No Elephants!, anyone?!)

Yep, we have a new dog right now. She is sweet but terrified and for good reason. She was pretty clearly beaten... and set on FIRE. Seriously. Sometimes I HATE people. I'm writing more about her on here.

Keep the little pup in your prayers, would you? She needs them.

Macho is SCARY!

I am a BAD Girlfriend. Last night I was not feeling good and the phone was in the other room and I FIGURED it was Fresno but thought, Meh... he'll call back. I'm not getting out of bed to answer. But when I listened to his message I felt TERRIBLE!

HIS HOUSE HAD JUST BEEN ROBBED! He came home (to his old house where they are in the process of moving, but he was the only one staying there that night) and thought his roomies had done more packing, because things were missing, but then he saw broken things all over and that the door was kicked wide open! He sounded so scared on the message it made me cry! And you KNOW this wouldn't have happened if the dogs had been there. Even though they are really just sweethearts, you wouldn't go into a house that had 2 monster canines barking in it. He was just SO upset, though!

"They took everything! There was money, spare car and house keys so they can come pack, watches, a ring I was going to give you, a wallet, silverware and it's not fancy silverware, but everything! Some pretty expensive stuff!"

Obviously, hearing that message I was pretty scared, too... though in a different way (RING?! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!). But mostly I just felt bad for poor Fresno! At the end he sounded ready to CRY and just said "I wish I was living in Utah NOW."

So do I. (But not ready for that whole, uhh RING thing, so I am just pretending it was a mood ring or something innocuous like that.)

But it's NOT really "Happy Valley" anyway. I mean, I was living in Provo, Utah when my Jeep was stolen. And my identity... still dealing with that. You are really not safe ANYWHERE. That is just so sad.

I hope he calls back soon! He STAYED there. I would have gathered up all I could and went to the new house IMMEDIATELY! But he has to be all dumb and manly and stay there "in case they come back." Hello, that is why you should LEAVE! IN CASE THEY COME BACK! He needs to hurry and call me. And hurry and move. I just don't like it AT ALL.

Anyway, right now I have to leave because we are going to a St. Patrick's Day dinner and to read BoyKid's new letter! I am sort of wondering now if my padres plan on having a dinner for EVERY time we get a missionary letter. Either way, free food and fun letter to read!

Aaaaand we're back!

I love my baby brother. Who is THAT spiritual? Like reading his letters, it's just... yeah. WOW. The kid is way more in tune than I ever was... or likely will be. And yet he is still a silly teenage kid and you can hear that, too.

But, I admit today my brain is still elsewhere. Fresno better call soon.

Little Anziano

My baby bro, Anziano BoyKid is such a good kid, for real. We got his first letter and he sounds like he is doing good. I like it when he told about his first mission companion, over there at the MTC. "He is a good kid, but he listens about as well as I do so we may be in trouble! He was a jock in school, but he doesn't seem to jock-ish (wow that was intelligent). I haven't really gotten to know him yet but I bet we'll get pretty tight." He is so cute! But I thought I would let all y'all read his Farewell Talk, given 8 March 2007:

Brothers and Sisters, I am grateful for the chance to speak to you this morning. Seeing as the last time I was asked to speak in church, I completely forgot about it, I do feel like things are going better this time. It is comforting to see so many familiar faces. I am grateful for our faithful little 9th ward. I am thankful for the friends and family that are here today. Judging from the smiles on your faces, there are quite a few of you who are delighted to be finally getting rid of me!

I'd like to start off by reading the poem "If I Only Was the Fellow" by Will S. Adkin. Let me warn you, a portion of this poem is written with a strong accent. So forgive me if I draw my on drama experience a little.

If I Only Was The Fellow
While walking down a crowded city street the other day,
I heard a little urchin to a comrade turn and say,
"Say, Chimney, lemme tell youse, I'd be happy as a clam
If I only was de feller dat Me mudder t'inks I am.

"She t'inks I am a wonder, an' she knows her little lad
Could never mix wit' nuttin' dat was ugly, mean or bad.
Oh, lot o'times I sit and t'ink how nice, 'twould be, gee whiz!
If a feller was de feller dat his mudder t'inks he is."

My friends, be yours a life of toil or undiluted joy,
You can learn a wholesome lesson from that small, untutored boy.
You need not be an earthly saint, with eyes fixed on a star:
Just try to be the fellow that your Mother thinks you are.
-Will S. Adkin-

If we really were the kind of person our mother thinks we are, how much better would we be?

At times it can be difficult living up to the high expectations of our parents. If you'll pardon a personal example, I have experienced this first-hand.

Anyone who knows me has probably heard of my uh .imperfect driving record. Heaven may forgive and forget past sins, but unfortunately State farm Insurance does not. This explains my extreme fear the first time I was ever pulled over. To my embarrassment I admit that I was pulled over for drunk-driving despite the fact that I sure wasn't drunk. This story started as a not so innocent practical joke war between me and some of my friends. I use the term "friends" very loosely in this case. Once our battling factions ran out of the classics like toilet paper, and silly string we were forced be more creative. My truck fell victim to the worst attack. Thugs sprayed cooking spray on my windshield, leaving the world a blurry mess. Foolishly, I decided to drive anyway. I realized how
dangerous I was being, but the streets were empty, so I pressed on. It took flashing red and blue lights to finally come to my senses. As I imagine the sight of me trying my hardest to stay in the lines, I understand why the Officer was shocked to find me sober. It may have been how absolutely horrified I was, but the officer took pity on me and let me go with a warning.

Unfortunately this story is only half over. I was then faced with the mini-moral dilemma of whether or not to admit this ever happened or just bury it. I decided since I didn't get a ticket I did not need to tell my parents. No harm, no foul right? I went to bed foolishly thinking that would be the end of it. Much to my surprise.my mom had a dream that night. That morning she shared her dream. She told that she in her dream I had broken a window. But I had the courage to tell her about it, despite the consequences. Her next words were, I quote: "I know that if you ever did anything wrong. you'd tell me about it."

I'd felt that I had been personally ratted out by revelation! It could have just been a coincidence, but I heard the message loud and clear. The Lord wanted me to be open with my parents, even if it was something trivial. I knew I had to come clean!

I learned a valuable lesson that day. At times when I was tempted to make choices that weren't correct, I could think back and realize my parents didn't just hope I would choose the right, they fully expected I would do so. That knowledge made it much easier to make the right decisions.

Our parents aren't the only ones that expect us to make the right decisions. So do ur friends, our coworkers, our neighbors and church leaders. We also have expectations from our Heavenly Father. The poem I read discussed how good the world would be if we acted the way our parents thought of us. Imagine how much more powerful a change it would be if we all were the person our Heavenly parents expect us to be. Heavenly Father has made it very clear how he expects us to act. During his sermon on the mount, Jesus commands us, in Matt. 5:48 to "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."

This may seem like an impossible commandment. Sometimes it is hard to believe that we can ever be perfect. On our own this is true. But as Nephi said, "I know the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he should prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." Jesus Christ is the way that we can accomplish this commandment. We may not ever be perfect in our lives, but we can all be perfected through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Still, it can be difficult living up to our expectations, because perfection involves doing the right things for the right reasons. Too often we do things we good things, but don't get anything out of it. We read our scriptures, but don't take anything to heart. We pray for guidance, but don't stick around long enough to receive answers. Sadly, what holds many of us back isn't our actions, but our attitudes.

Our attitude can make a big difference in our lives. Whenever I was having a bad morning, I remember my dad would simply tell me to change my attitude. He'd tell me I had the choice to be miserable or happy. At the time, his statements only made me angrier. Since then I have realized our attitudes determine far more than how our day is going to be. Our attitudes play a role in living up to God's expectations. Knowing that, I searched for ways to improve my attitude.

I found that the scriptures are full of ways to improve our attitudes, and progress towards perfection. A classic example of attitude is found in 1st Nephi. When the Lord commands Lehi's sons to retrieve the plates from Laban, we get a great demonstration of how attitude affects our progression. Nephi's response is classic. "I will go and do." While, Laman and Lemuel's responses are a little less inspiring. In chapter 3 verse 5 it says, "And now behold the brothers murmur, saying it is a hard thing which I have required of them; but behold I have not required it of them, but it is a commandment of the
Lord."

It is tempting to be critical of Nephi's brothers. After all, "It is going to be hard!" is a pretty pansy response. However, we sometimes forget that retrieving the plates was hard. It involved hiking the same distance as
from here to St George, and then back. It involved marching right up to Laban, the Jerusalem equivalent of the Godfather, and asking for the plates. It was a huge risk, and Laman and Lemuel knew they could easily lose their lives. And did they do it? Yes. They complained but they did it. How often do we follow their example? We do our home teaching, but we complain about it. We fast but we complain about it. Now it is a good thing, a great thing, to do the right things. But to live up to our divine expectations we need to have more of Nephi's unwavering faith.

So how do we adjust our attitudes? To make that kind of change we need to keep in mind a larger perspective. I learned a lesson about this principle when I was a Teacher in the 3rd ward. It was my first experience with the
now legendary Pack Pedal Paddle. Now I could make a lot of jokes about how Brother Borup got us completely lost several times. I could point out that every time Borup promised us "Just one more mile" we planned on two or three. But I won't mention those things; that just isn't how I do things.

Actually I found that our journey through the High Uintas could teach a lot about of journey through life. I remember specifically a section of the trail that seemed only to go up. We climbed for hours, each time we reached what we thought was the summit, we saw an even higher hillcrest. Finally standing on the highpoint of the trail, we were able to look down into the beautiful valley below us. Among the trees we saw small mountain lakes and a larger one that we knew was our destination. Looking at that lake it seemed so simple. We would walk down and arrive with enough light to cook dinner and rest. Unfortunately, what seemed so easy when we saw the whole landscape became much more difficult once we were surrounded by trees. Without seeing the big picture we had to follow a small trail a long distance. We even lost our way at times, and said a prayer that we would find the trail again.

The similarities of our own journey through life are obvious. When life is smooth, and we are on top of the world our destinations seem so clear. We are certain who we are and where we are going. Unfortunately, when we are in the thick of things such certainty is sometimes lost. Without that far sight we can lose our way. If we are lucky, we will have role models, and leaders like Brother Borup and Brother Monney to help us out of the woods. I am very grateful for the many leaders that have helped me along my way.

The scriptures offer other examples of ways to change our attitudes. One example comes from the book of Moses. In this story, Moses has a powerful spiritual experience. If you would like you can turn to Moses 1.

Read from Scriptures V 1-2

Moses had the opportunity to see the Lord face to face and learn directly from him. If you had the chance to be instructed by the Lord what do you think he would teach you? I think it would probably be similar to Moses'
lessons.

In verse 3-4 He says

It is very significant that The Lord calls Moses His son. The first thing the He wanted Moses to know was his divine identity. The Lord repeats that statement several more times, reaffirming Moses' role. The Lord wants us all to remember who we really are. We are children of God. Once we realize that, it becomes much easier to make the right choices. Once this sinks in, the Lord show Moses all his creations, and the plan of happiness. After witnessing all things, Moses is left alone, to consider what he has seen.

His statements in Verse 10 say a lot about his changed attitude.

This statement shows us that he had truly humbled himself. However it is important to realize that although that we are nothing compared to God, but we are everything TO God.

In this verse 39 he tells Moses:
Moses' knowledge of who he is strengthens him when temptation sets in. Shortly following his vision, Satan comes to stop the new prophet. We can learn a lot from Satan's strategies.

In Verse 12 it says:

Notice the first thing Satan does is call Moses a "son of Man." He is trying to make Moses forget and doubt his potential as a Son of God. Moses' response in verse 13 is perfect:

We can respond in the exact same way. When we are faced with temptation we can tell ourselves that we are Children of God. We have the glory as children of God, so why would we trade that for the darkness of Satan?

This chapter of Moses is essentially a self-help book on self-motivation! The Lord was giving all of us a way to boost our attitude during hard times. If you'll permit one more personal example, I feel I learned a related
lesson early in life.

When I was 7 my mother and our neighbors planned a picnic at a beautiful spot along the Provo River, near BYU. It was late fall, so the waters were shallow and slow. My mother and the ladies watched and relaxed as their children cut loose enjoying the warm sun. As we little boys wandered off, my mom got suddenly nervous. The other ladies weren't worried, but my mother suddenly received a strong impression that she had to find me. She took off at a run being led by the Spirit. What she couldn't have known without the Spirit was that I was about to do something incredibly stupid.
Near where the water runs under the street, a part of the river was dammed by a metal floodgate. In this small area the water was much deeper. Near the bottom the gate was part-way open, and the water was pouring violently through the opening on the other side. Yet the water on the surface was dead still. So much so that a thick layer of trash and moss had the collected on the surface. In my childish haste, I saw this layer of foam
and mistook it for dry land.

And so, when my mother followed the Spirit to my location she arrived just in time to see me jump from dry land and get swallowed by the murky water. I had taken swimming lessons but the hidden current below was pulling against me. As I came up to the surface kicking hard I saw the face of my mother, for just a second before being sucked under again. I surfaced again and tried to grab her outstretched hand, but missed. I kicked hard and surfaced again, and this time I felt her arm grab me, and pull me towards the surface. I was cold, wet, out of breath, but because of the Spirit, and the quick actions of my mother I was alive.

I tell this story partly because it has so much meaning to me. I also feel that this story has many spiritual parallels. The first lesson I learned is that when the spirit tells you to do something, you do it immediately.
Don't wait, or else the opportunity may be lost. President Spencer W Kimble had a motto. He would often say, "Do it. Do it now!" It isn't enough to receive a spiritual impression if we don't act on it. As it says in James 1:22 "Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only."

The second lesson I learned was the symbolism of the still water. Satan will try to trap us. On the surface sin may seem peaceful and inviting, but below there are dangerous forces trying to pull us under.

Finally the last lesson involved my mother. She has confessed to me she felt guilty her that her first instinct was not to jump into the deep water with me. While a dramatic dive would have been more exciting it could have
led to her to being pulled under the water as well.

We all have friends that aren't doing the right thing. It can be the hardest thing in the world to stand by and watch them slip away. In our desperation to help it can be tempting to dive in with them. In our desire to keep an eye on them, we can start to make small allowances. We'll go to a party where alcohol is served in order to protect them. This is a noble desire, but if we spend time where the spirit can't be present, how long before we start to slip? How can we pull them out if we too are struggling against the current? It is difficult, but we must be sure our footing is secure in order to help others.

On that day, my parents said something which has grown more significant to me lately. My father said "The Lord saved you for a reason. You have work still to do." We are all here for a reason. Heavenly Father loves us and would not send us down here to drift. We all have a work to do, every one of us.

Right now I know exactly what it is that I am called to do. I have been called, like all of us to share the Gospel with the world. I am thankful for the examples I have had. JT Ferrin, Sean Vest, who are just beginning to serve. And all the examples of those who have served, even for a short time; they have shown me the power of missionary work.

I am so thankful for my family. They have been everything to me. I know everyone says this, but everyone else is wrong, because I have the best family in the world. I am thankful for my sisters, Beth Ann who has been an example to me my whole life. I am so grateful that she served a mission, and has shown me how wonderful, and difficult it can be. I am grateful for Corinne, who is just so full of life. I am grateful for the chance to laugh, and fight, and just act dorky with her.

I want to thank my parents. My mother who tirelessly serves our family; I know the Lord will bless her and my family the way he has blessed me.

I also want to thank my father. He was my friend when I didn't have any, and when I did have friends he became their buddy too. I am so thankful for him.

I also want to thank my friends and family who are visiting. They have meant so much to me. I also want to thank the adults who have meant so much in life, all my scout leaders and church leaders and the Bishopric.

I should probably stop before I sound like an award show. But before I let everyone go, I would like to bear my testimony .

[And then he did. Hee hee hee!]

There you go, folks. My little brother rocks. The End.

It is Sunday... So maybe I am just being a Phisher of Men?

[I should really stop this... I am going to get in trouble. But sometimes it is just so fun to dabble in the truly silly and surreal!]


Dear Sir,

I receive this news with great great sadness! I am sure you know, Mr. Baker that no amount of money is going to fill the hole in my heart that losing Ol' Lucy (that's what we used to call him in the family) has made. None of my friends here in the states ever met him, and so I feel like you are the only one I can talk to about it. You seem, Mr. Baker, to have his wishes in mind. You knew how important his job of Engraver of Trophies, Monogrammed Bowling Balls, and Dog Tags at Erdward's Trophy in Shropshire was to him... and how he wished to be addressed as such always, as if he were a Doctor or Professor. You have honored that, and to me that shows you are more than a lawyer... but a friend.

I am shocked, however, that Ol' Lucy made mention of the money going towards my "humanitarian activities." To be honest, he never thought much of my charitable endeavors. Having a rich relative with a strangely placed letter R in their name you don't think that I ask him more than once while he was living to lend a hand to my cause? Well, I did, and while people sometimes have a great change of heart nearing the end of their lives, I can't help but remember a harshly worded email (perhaps the very one you harvested this email address from? It must have been because, really, the old Engr. Schultz was never one for email either and there were few between us) after I asked him for just $8,000 to start up. He said "Kippy, I WILL not now, nor WILL I ever not even after I am dead, help you with your so-called 'humanitarian' efforts. You place emus in inner city flats for kids to learn responsibility. They could learn responsibility from a hamster! A dog! Why a great bloody bird like an emu? They eat all the family's food, poop on the floor, all in all I think your "Emu for every Emo" Program is a disgrace and I WILL never give you a single farthing to help it's furtherance."

However, your letter clearly shows he saw the light! At present we are hatching a new emu to be named Lurther in his honor, and Ronald, play your cards right with this WILL and there may be a large flightless bird in it for YOU as WILL--er-well.

Your future best friend,

Kipluck

On 2/18/07, Uk Estate Solicitors wrote:

MANAGING PARTNER
RONALD B.SOLICITORS

33 Henrietta Street,
Covent Garden, London, WC2E 8NH

18/02/2007

NOTIFICATION OF BEQUEST


On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.
Lurther Schultz, I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter
returned undelivered. I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same
email address on the WILL.

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Lurther Schultz made you a
beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of seven million five hundred
thousand United States Dollars to you in the codicil and last testament
to his WILL.

Late Engr. Lurther Schultz died on the 12th day of March, 2004 at the
age of 80 years, and his WILL is now ready for execution. According to
him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help
the poor and the needy in our society.

Please if I reach you this time as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back
to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope to hear
from you in no distant time through my personal email address below.

Email: ronaldsolicitors111@yahoo.co.uk

Sincerely Yours,

BARR.RONALD BAKER (ESQ)
RONALD B.SOLICITORS

"Your art was the prettiest art of all the art"

I am having a hard day today for no real reason.

My depression's just kind of kicking my butt at present. I was just watching Scrubs and the goofy ex-brother-in-law of Cox Brendan Fraser played reminded me so much of Brady... the silliness, seriously, was SO like him. Actually, he reminded me enough of Brady, I felt like calling my Mom or Megs and saying "watch Scrubs. Brendan Fraser is Brady!!!" except that I just KNEW, CRAP, he is TOO much like him, I bet he dies. And then he did. And I CRIED. I cried watching SCRUBS. Scrubs?! How lame is THAT?! It is a comedy! A funny one! Hence calling it a comedy... yeah. I am an idiot. SIGH.

Scrubs made me cry. But no. I refuse that answer. Brady being dead made me cry. Depression made me cry. Scrubs just happened to have a semi-serious moment at an inopportune time for me. Yeah.

Actually, I think this whole crazy mall shooting thing in Salt Lake, well, when it was happening it just ticked me off because it made me miss 24. (Yes, I am THAT selfish some days). But with the whole Memorial Service stuff for it today, I think it just has me thinking about Brady and 9-11 too much and just... yeah... everything.

But ANYWAY, today I went to to the doctor, Dr. HasaPsychoWife. He's the one that mostly deals with my diabetes and my depression... well, he's the one that isn't the biggest idiot anyway. He switched me from Glipizide to Actos for my diabetes, and after doing one of those dumb, long, "I want to curl up and die a) never b) rarely c) sometimes d) frequently e) always" questionnaires ("I'm an 8... Moooooorphiiiine!") also switched me BACK to Celexa instead of Lexapro and gave me a referral to a psychologist which is good since I have been needing one and so we will see how that all goes.

Anyway, then I *did* go to water aerobics like I promised at least so, hey, one triumph at least. After that I came home mixed up this month's BML for my gliders, watched The Office... and Scrubs... and laughed at both, naturally. Especially Jim turning into a vampire. And that bat was way too cute. I want a bat.... but my gliders are close enough. And I should go feed them now.

It's just been one of those days.

OH p.s. I am seriously applying for a position to develop the youth program at TGP. I'd be writing curriculum, filling in for tech support, helping tour guides, teaching, and, yes, probably end up taking care of hurt bunnies and cows and stuff!!! And dinosaurs! Not hurt ones... I mean I would be near the museum and I love that place. AND I would be working under my sister. But still, it would be a good job for me, if I can get it, and at least I don't apply directly TO my sister... I go to HR... and they report to my sister because she is even higher up dammitall. Sometimes... nevermind... yeah, good for her. She did good. She actually has a career. She has a career and a degree and I have scars and pills. ANYWAY, I still want the job. And, one positive of having Rinny for a boss is she actually IS good about changing schedules around to fit things... not just for family, I mean for all of her employees. Yeah. So it would be good. So I am applying and I hope I get it... I think.

Wo unto the liar, for he shall be thrust down to hell

Ooooh SO, guess who I got a call from this morning? Some chick calling on behalf of Soft Tissue Injury Lady. Oh and guess what STILady is claiming now? Neck injury, back injury, AND (this is the winner) I TOTALED THE BACK OF HER CAR!!!!!

Now, what I want to know is did she actually go out and back into something to do this or is she just hoping nobody will LOOK at her car and just take her word that there is damage?!?! There was nothing wrong on the car! I don't believe she was HURT either, but as an expert in PAIN, well, I know you can't tell someone they don't hurt. But you CAN tell someone they are full of crap that you damaged their car when you didn't. And you looked and saw you didn't. And a cop came over and said you didn't. And the actual owner of the car, the lying STIB***h, herself, even said "well, our cars are fine, but I have a soft tissue injury coming, I can tell you right now!"

Well, my dad's insurance/lawyer guy listened to me and even LAUGHED when I told him the facts and said not to worry that she had no case whatsoever. Good. Fine. Great.

I know it doesn't matter maybe, if I don't have to pay. Or maybe just State Farm will pay. But it is a matter of principle and it ROYALLY PISSES ME OFF!!!! When people cheat insurance it is 1. DISHONEST and 2. raises rates and hurts me in the long run. So don't tell me it hurts nobody but a faceless corporation. Companies are MADE on the backs of workers and customers... both who have faces. Sorry I am just so mad. I am so mad that she is lying! Accusing me of doing something I did not do. I HATE BEING LIED TO OR LIED ABOUT. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Anyway, yeah. Now I want cookies. Chocolate chip. What do I have that is similar?

Hmmm... closest thing I have is sugar free fat free chocolate pudding. huh. Yeah, good thing for my weight loss plans that it is so blasted COLD out there or I would so buy pre-made cookie dough at Smith's and eat it raw RIGHT NOW. The pudding is sure NOT cutting it. Dumb cold. Dumb slippery snow. Dumb pudding. Dumb non-existent chocolate chip cookies!

Speaking of cookies, BoyKid's job as a Girl Scout? Well, the poor kid has been working like crazy, sales calls all the time. Only here's the thing, the Boss Lady apologized that she was not yet able to PAY them. Yeah. Does THAT sound like good business to YOU? I mean, if you are going in together to start a business, sure... but as a regular employee.... well, you have the right to expect that your contract stating you'll be paid bi-weekly means that, well, every other week you should get a PAY CHECK. So, yeah, he is just hoping he GETS paid for his job before he quits to go on the mission. Poor kiddlet.

I still want cookies. Goodnight.

I'm a cartoon. I'm a robot. I'm clearly watching too much television.

Last night I dreamed that Fresno was Batman. And *I* was Poison Ivy... the one from the CARTOON. And, what's more, we were married (I know, I should have been Catwoman, then. I didn't CHOOSE.) And Jeeves from Jeeves and Wooster was Alfred. (Clearly I watch PBS too much.) The only dumb thing about the dream was that was pretty much IT. We never actually DID anything, had any adventures... the dream was just that we WERE who we were and we were just standing around in the Bat Cave and we were cartoons, except Jeeves/Alfred who was a real person and who was serving drinks. Nothing really happened. It was a comparatively boring dream. But, still funny.

Anyway, this weekend was sucky beyond all reason (car wreck, headache x50, being searched at Wal-Mart because they thought I stole something (I didn't), and Boo Bonic, the gerbil, escaped today and so I had to chase her down. (I *did* catch her and she is grounded! Little brat.))

I did manage to get SOMETHING accomplished, at least. For one, I was birdie-sitting McKenzie the Parrot and she didn't ever decide to attack me. With her, that's progress. She is a good bird, just... moody and unpredictable. Sort of like me, in bird-form. Also, I had fun talking to Fresno on the phone. The bank did not take his offer for the house, but he did not counter because he said he didn't feel right about it. I think that was smart. I need to not worry about him so much... he is intelligent and mature. He is not going to do anything impulsive just because of me... things will work out for him because he will MAKE them work. I am just too used to surrounding myself with Lost Boys and me being Wendy. But Fresno knows what he is doing... so I need to learn to make my brain less bossy and stressy. Anyway, the other major accomplishment is I made an EXCELLENT Control Journal. FlyLady emphasizes "progress not perfection!" which is true and good! BUT I have been having a hard time because my Control Journal isn't how I want it! Ha! Yes, I know. Stupid. Anyway, CRISIS PASSED. I made a PERFECT Control Journal! Neener neener! Anyway, so that is what I did this weekend. (Sort of like when you're report is crap, but dang it you have the BEST folder to put in. Yeah, that's me. I was in an avoidance mode. Shaddup.) Actually, it is still not DONE, but I STARTED the perfect Control Journal. Control of my Life... HERE I COME!!!

Another dream I had last night was that all of my mail was being forwarded to the Padres'. I was so mad because my dad was throwing it all AWAY! He threw away my hilarious shirts and I was yelling at him. This morning I thought it was true and I was so ticked... but realized the shirts had not come yet.

Another dream I had was about my headache. I dreamed that it had been 10 years and they were still doing nerve block injections. I was crying and asking why I couldn't be normal. The doctor said it was because of the lesions on my brain [very possible] and also because I was a robot [because my dream couldn't be NORMAL.]. I was really mad and said that was crap because if I was a robot I couldn't cry, I would short out. He said "no, that's a common misconception. Most parts are actually silicon-based. Crying is perfectly normal." I was still so angry because 10 YEARS?! I don't want to still be dealing with this then.

I also don't want to find out I am a robot. Because really now, if I am a robot couldn't I get a less defective model NOW?! I have some serious issues with my tech support. Grrrr.

So there are shows I should not watch, at least not while fighting my depression. I think a "Without a Trace" about a little boy who eventually tries to kill himself... one of those I SHOULD NOT WATCH. Some things just feel... too... real. Though things are BETTER right now than they have been. Prayer... friends... narcotics... good things. This show... not good. Well, GOOD, like, yeah. Good show. BAD for me. Changing the channel. Granted if I was REALLY being good I would just turn the TV OFF and go to bed, but I still have a hard time GOING to bed knowing that it will be hours before I fall asleep. BOOOOOORING.

Sometimes I love Phishermen

Kipluck 5:47 pm (0 minutes ago)
to davidpalmer707uk@yahoo.com.hk
date Jan 27, 2007 5:47 PM
subject Re: I Shall Await Your Response......(Confidential)



Dear David,

The fact that you are contacting me means 2 very cherished things to me. 1. that you are not really dead as we were lead to believe on 24 and 2. that you trust me with this weighty matter of money and privacy. Please know that splitting such a large sum with you is tempting. I am out of Carefresh and the cages need to be cleaned and that stuff doesn't come cheap. I have to buy it at Petco or Petsmart, not WalMart and even with the cards, well, it adds up. Maybe you think I should buy a generic brand, but it really helps with the smell, David. But let me be honest with you and please hear me out about an alternative plan.

You say you are not a criminal... that you are a family man. But what you are doing, David, well, it sounds rather "Nigerian." (And no, I am NOT being Racist, you KNOW what I mean... come on now). However, if you are right and the Deceased person has the same surname as me than at least somebody with his name should get his money. But so far you have not mentioned that last name... are you sure it is the same as mine? I ask because I tend to go only go by a first name... like Madonna... or Prince... so what was the last name of the deceased?

Anyway, about the alternative plan of mine. Your brother has been an OKAY president but he struggles with knowing the most important thing... Jack is ALWAYS right. When Jack tells him something he has people check it out first and then realizes Jack was right. You knew to act when Jack said so. David, I ask you to put away this plan of working semi-legal schemes on the staff of Smith & Williamson. I mean STAFF?! Really? A former president? Isn't that kind of a blow? Anyway, give it up and return to the presidency of the United States with Jack Bauer as your UNQUESTIONED adviser. Once you are in this position, I will GLADLY claim the money left by my dead "relative" and give you, not half, but 2/3 of the booty provided you send me the request on presidential letter head AND lean on the governor of California (be it the Governator or not at that time) to allow Sugar Gliders as a pet in the state making certain aspects of my life a WHOLE lot smoother. (or, conversely, write me a little presidential pardon saying MY suggies can live in ANY state!). You'll be even richer. My gliders get persimmons for dinner more often. Jack keeps us safe from terrorists and mushroom clouds. Doesn't that sound better? Yeah, me too.

Sincerely,

Kipluck

On 1/27/07, davidpalmeruk707@yahoo.com <> wrote:

Goodday,

I am David Palmer, staff of SMITH & WILLIAMSON Private Banking.I am
contacting you concerning a deceased customer and an investment he placed
under our banks management three years ago.I would respectfully request
that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the
integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail.

I contacted you independently of our investigation and no one is informed
of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts
that I believe would be of interest to you.In 2000, the subject matter;
came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our private
banking division. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of
Thirty million united states dollars,which he wished to have us turn over
(invest) on his behalf.I was the officer assigned to his case, I made
numerous suggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief
operations officer of the private banking sector, especially given the
volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We met on numerous
occasions prior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to
consider various growth funds with prime ratings.The favored route in my
advise to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000 traditional
stocks and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments.
Based on my advice, We spun the money around various opportunities and
made attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued
profit and interest stood at this point at over ten million United States
Dollars, this margin was not the full potential of the fund but he desired
low risk guaranteed returns on investments.

In mid 2001, he asked that the money be liquidated because he needed to
make an urgent investment requiring cash payments in here in the united
kingdom. He directed that I liquidate the funds and deposit it with a
security firm. I informed him that SMITH & WILLIAMSON would have to make
special arrangements to have this done and in order not to circumvent due
process, the bank would have to make a 9.5 % deduction from the funds to
cater for banking and statutory charges. He complained about the charges
but later came around when I explained to him the complexities of the task
he was asking of us. Cash movement across boarders has become especially
strict since the incidents of 9/11. I contacted my affiliate and made the
funds available to the security firm. I undertook all the processes and
made sure I followed his precise instructions to the letter and had the
funds deposited with the security firm. The Security Firm is a specialist
private firm that accepts deposits from high net worth individuals and
blue chip corporations that handle valuable products or undertake
transactions that need immediate access to cash. This small and highly
private organization is familiar especially to the highly placed and
well-connected organizations. In line with instructions, the money was
deposited with the security firm.

The deceased told me he wanted the money there in anticipation of his
arrival from Norway later that week. This was the last communication we
had, this transpired around 25th February 2003.In June last year, we got a
call from the security firm informing us that the inactivity of that
particular portfolio. This was an astounding position as far as I was
concerned, given the fact that I managed the private banking sector I was
the only one who knew about the deposit at the security firm, and I could
not understand why the deceased had not come forward to claim his
deposit. I made futile efforts to locate the deceased. I immediately
passed the task of locating him to the internal investigations department
of SMITH & WILLIAMSON.Four days later, information started to trickle
in,apparently our client was dead. A person who suited his description was
declared dead of a heart attack in Canne, South of France. We were soon
enough able to identify the body and cause of death was confirmed. The
bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next of
kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward to claim his
estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who
patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but also some levels of
detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form, he listed no
next of kin. In the field of private banking, opening an account with us
means no one will know of its existence, accounts are rarely held under a
name;depositors use numbers and codes to make the accounts anonymous.This
bank also gives the choice to depositors of having their mail sent to them
or held at the bank itself, ensuring that there are no traces of the
account and as I said, rarely do they nominate next of kin. Private
banking clients apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most
cases leave wills in our care, in this case; the deceased died without a
testate. In line with our internal processes for account holders who have
passed away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to
determine who should have right to claim the estate. This investigation
has for the past months been unfruitful.

We have scanned every continent and used our private investigation
affiliate companies to get to the root of the problem. It is this
investigation that resulted in my being furnished with your details as a
possible relative of the deceased. My official capacity dictates that I am
the only party to supervise the investigation and the only party to
receive the results of the investigation. What this means, you being the
last batch of names we have considered, is that our dear late fellow died
with no known or identifiable family member. This leaves me as the only
person with the full picture of what the prevailing situation is in
relation to the deposit and the late beneficiary of the deposit.According
to practice, The Security Firm will by the end of this financial year
broadcast a request for statements of claim to SMITH & WILLIAMSON,failing
to receive viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit back
to SMITH & WILLIAMSON.This will result in the money entering the SMITH &
WILLIAMSON accounting system and the portfolio will be out of my hands
and out of the private banking division. This will not happen if I have my
way.What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but I
want you to understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking
world who finds the internal politics of the banking world aberrational.
The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewards for
those who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios. You
should have begun by now to put together the general direction of what I
propose.There is Thirty million dollars deposited in a security firm, I
alone have the deposit details and they will release the deposit to no one
unless I instruct them to do so. I alone know of the existence of this
deposit for as far as SMITH & WILLIAMSON is concerned,the transaction with
our late customer concluded when I sent the funds to the security firm,
all outstanding interactions in relation to the file are just customer
services and due process. The security Firm has no single idea of what's
the history or nature of the deposit. They are simply awaiting
instructions to release the deposit to any party that comes forward. This
is the situation. This bank has spent great amounts of money trying to
track this man's family; they have investigated for months and have found
no family.

The investigation has come to an end.

My proposal; you share the same surname With our late client; I am
prepared to place you in a position to instruct The security Firm to
release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt
of the deposit,I am prepared to share the money with you in half. That is:
I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the
deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50.I would have gone ahead to ask
the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a straight line to
me and my involvement in claiming the
deposit. But on the other hand, you with the same very name as the
original depositor would easily pass as the beneficiary with right to
claim. I assure you that I could have the deposit released to you within a
few days. I will simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file
relating to the deceased I will then officially communicate with The
Security Firm and instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these
two things: all is done.The alternative would be for us to have The
Security Firm direct the funds to another bank with you as account holder.
This way there will be no need for you to think of receiving the money
from The Security Company. We can fine-tune this based on our
interactions.I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that
if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail.
I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no
appeal to you,delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not
destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not
know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out of comparable
situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and
what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you
to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this
move. Such opportunities only come ones' way once in a lifetime. I cannot
let this chance pass me by, for once I find myself in total control of my
destiny. These chances wont pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my
chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with
my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an
opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for
this project and it is a task well worth undertaking.

I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you
refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows
of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has
planted you into the center of relevance in my life.Lets share the
blessing.If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through
this email account david_palmer707uk@yahoo.com.hk If you give me positive
signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I wish to
inform you that should you contact me via official channels; I will deny
knowing you and about this project. I repeat, I do not want you contacting
me through my official phone lines nor do I want you contacting me through
my official email account. Contact me only through the numbers I will
provide for you and also through this email address. I do not want any
direct link between you and me. My official lines are not secure lines as
they are periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in
line with our Total Quality Management Policy.

Please observe this instruction religiously. Please,again, note I am a
family man, I have a wife and children. I send you this mail not without a
measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that
nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come
easy or on a platter of gold.

This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do
not betray my confidence.

Kindly send your response to my private email address
david_palmer707uk@yahoo.com.hk

I await your response.
David Palmer.

Mission: Difficult (Like Growing a Hand)

Today has been rather eventful, considering it was a Sunday. It gave me a lot to think about, you know? Okay, first off, for the first Sabbath of many many I went TO church. Yay! The headache was NOT any better, but I needed to talk to Brother Adams about something. So I went. I did not stay long, not even in the chapel. Part way through the sacrament meeting (I guess the "sermon" part, basically, in some faiths?) I had to leave, but didn't want to leave. So I went into the library, turned out the lights and turned on the sound of the speaker so I could listen in the dark. That helped a little and at least kept the pain down enough so that I could stay a few more minutes and talk to the bishopric before going home and wanted to cry from pain. I didn't make it to my own house, but my parents'. I crashed on their couch till they came home. Then they had a thing they wanted me to go to, but by then I had pill'd it into submission... still bad, but I went to the farewell.

The Farewell was for JT who is little bro, Spencer's best friend. Actually, I really like JT. He is a really good kid, nice, and a sugar glider connection to the ones I rehabbed/rehomed. He is going on a mission to Japan for 2 years. He's a cool kid... but will have a hard time. He's kind of a mama's boy. Best of luck to him, though.

It also makes Spencer's mission seem more real... my baby bro even had his first real mission interview tonight. WEIRD.

Something else weird, well, it is making me think again. One of the people that stole my identity is up for parole and I am supposed to write a letter. I don't know, it is just hard to think what I want to SAY. The one that is up right now is the one that stole my medical insurance. She changed my medical records. I don't know, it is an emotional thing more than a financial thing PERSONALLY. Of course it was EXTREMELY expensive in terms of the insurance, deductibles... thousands and thousands... but for me, it was more about the idea that someone was out there pretending to be me, knowing the very most personal parts of my life and being able to change even my blood type and age. I don't know what to write, because she will read it, Collette, who is up for probation. So I feel more like I am writing to her. And I sort of WANT to. Just because I wonder if she thinks she just ripped off a faceless insurance company. Or if she thinks about the girl she pretended to be for so long?

And p.s. Satan is SUCH a boy ;O) hee hee!