Part... yeah... Never mind.

Part... yeah... Never mind.

I am not finishing my vacation entry or Christmas, or anything.

Cirque Du Soleil (Ka) was freaking amazing. Blue Man Group was uncomfortably hilarious but gave Germaphobe Rinny a pretty bad anxiety attack because they buried us in toilet paper. And I got a Grey tree frog for Christmas and named her Costanza.

That's all you get. Now I am going to attempt to move on and blog every so often, starting with the quiz I got on Facebook about 25 Random things.

Yesterday at 5:53pm

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

[Or you tagged me, like a zillion years ago and I am finally getting to it. Sorry I suck so much!]

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs (+) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1) I have recently begun really considering my 3 sugar gliders my children. I always CALLED them my babies. But I recently realized that my love for them has reached the level of "Crazy Cat Lady" and I do, in fact, consider them my children. My tortoise and turtle are eeking close to actual child-ship as well. Is it because I will soon be 30?

2) I turn 30 in April.

3) I used to blog a lot. Now I am back going to the Doctors a lot. Blogging is much cheaper, but I just seem to have lost my ability to complete my thoughts and so I start entries and don't finish them. So I quit. It makes me cry. I know it's dumb to cry about blogging. But it was better than therapy and therapy isn't working. And I still can't finish my thoughts so...

4) I saw the Blue Man Group in Vegas. It was very funny BUT Rinny kind of freaked because they covered us in Toilet Paper. That was not as much funny as stressful. I know that feeling too well.

5) I hate elevators and they give me panic attacks sometimes.

6) I think Capybaras are the coolest animals since sugar gliders and someday TOTALLY want one as a pet!!!

7) I am ALWAYS reading something. If I don't have a book I am in at the moment I feel utterly lost.

8) I feel like I gave a piece of my heart away when I had to give Josie, my goat, to that nice lady with a farm. Even though I was giving her an awesome life. I know that it will sound insulting to them, so I won't tell them, when I hear women talk about giving up a child for adoption inside I want to say "I know how you feel. EXACTLY how you feel." and cry. But they would hate me.

9) I recently found out after a year of the first med that has ever given me ANY kind of LIVABLE life with my pain that it has been causing my teeth to rot and I now have 16 cavities. I still WILL take it... because I can't NOT. But, seriously? 16 cavities? My teeth are breaking out of my mouth? I have a prescription toothpaste now? Can I not catch a break EVER?!

10) I like water aerobics... MOST days

11) I have an apartment with an awesome roommate who has adorable dogs and takes care of my shell babies... and I don't LIVE there. I live at my parents' house.

12) I love off-roading but there is nowhere decent to do it here.

13) I mostly listen to Christian Rock ALL the time... then will randomly turn for 10 minutes to the angriest, darkest alternative music ever. Weird.

14) I have 3 bettas and each HAD a "pet" snail. This week one of the snails (Michael Phish Phelps' snail, China) died. And I cried for a solid half hour.

15) I bought a Gray Tree Frog for Christmas and named her Costanza. Now I would totally love to buy her a boyfriend!

16) I still miss my ex-boyfriend "Fresno." It's been LONG ENOUGH to be WAY over him. And I AM. I just also... miss having someone to play with and feeling cute and funny.

17) I LOVE MY JOB. I rarely GO, but I LOVE it. If I could do it more, and get, like paid for it more, it would be perfection. My job at Thanksgiving Point, but full-time, WOULD be my dream job.

18) My little Brother is coming home from Italy MARCH 13th and I am so freaking excited!!!!!!! I sort of idolize the BoyKid.

19) My little sister is my BOSS at work! And it is her birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RINNY!!!

20) I have an undying crush on Perry Mason.

21) I almost ALWAYS have my suggies with me. At present they are all 3 in a pouch in my shirt.

22) My glider Heber is partially named after a Plyg relative of Coats' Heebs' whole name is Heber Lyman Nestor the Molester (the Molester Part is NOT from Coats' Fam!)

23) I love Photography. I take at least 10 pictures a day... most nobody sees as I just save them and decide what to do with them later. And yes, I admit, MOST are of my gliders. Hee hee!

24) I miss the Fringe. The Fringe is a group of 4 of us in the mission (Coats, Parker, and Lil' Jeppsen) and now includes the Fringe-in-laws Risa Parker and Uhh... Mrs. Jeppsen and the MiniFringe their kiddlets. We are awesome friends. Coats and I remain single. She does things like join the Army and Skydive. I do things like... umm 1- 24. hee hee!

25)<-- is one of my 3 favorite numbers. The other 2 are 7 and 222. "The Boys are Back!"

Cutting things short

A Few Short Notes:

*My ulcer makes my stomach hurt so bad today I could cry.

*Got my hair cut short today. I may also do highlights. But for now, a bit shorter.

*I loved playing with my silly little goat on Tuesday. I miss her. She is so dang cute.

*I WASN'T disappointing with the Season premier of Heroes. BUT I understand those who were. I mean, How can you not feel a little let down after a build up like that? A freaking COUNT DOWN SHOW?! Geez! But still... yay! Heroes!

*I am going to be driving Tractor rides a ton during Barnyard Boo this month. SIGH.

*I will be seeing a rheumatologist in Salt Lake soon. Maybe, finally they will figure things out. Sed rate things... and help my Fibro more... maybe.

*BoyKid is completely hilarious. I mean, you know, his letters. I miss him.

*I need to go to bed. Night.

Consider the Zombies

FINALLY, BoyKid was able to call the fam! It was so great to hear from him. He told very funny stories (including one guy who said he preferred churches that prayed "AGGRESSIVELY" and they were pretty scared about what that might mean. (Personally, I pictured something like this.) Hee hee!) and as usual just blew me away with his freaking RIGHTEOUSNESS. SERIOUSLY, he is just. so. GOOD. It's kind of creepy! Where did all this celestivity come from anyway? And it's not SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS, either, like, umm, other often very churchy siblings I have can be. He is still funny and nice and awesome! AND perfect. How the heck did THAT happen? And how is it that after being such a bratty little child who I could hardly stand as a baby, I actually LIKE my brother? That I like hanging out with him? That he has become my FRIEND that I would like even if we weren't related? CRAZY! Who LIKES their little brother? But mine freaking ROCKS! Man, I miss him!

I should actually WRITE him on occasion, I suppose. hee hee! I have been sucking at that as of late.

In other news, I reorganized my blog a little and am working on a little clarification post. But one of the things I did was change the post topic list from alphabetical to Frequency of Mentioning. It made me discover a few things.
Like that I seem freaking OBSESSED with Fresno.
And that this Blog is mostly about Depression.
And that I need to talk more about Zombies. I would hate to slight zombies, you know.

Yesterday I went with my mom to Sandy and she went to the Cemetary to put mums on Grandma's and Grandpa's graves for Memorial Day and dropped me off at Jake and Megs. YAY!!! I so *heart* Megs! Jakey too. He is one of my favorite husbands. (you know... hubby of my friends, hubbys, in general. Not of MINE. As I don't HAVE one.) They were making me giggle lots. They told me funny stories about the boys, too. Oh, and T-La now has a BLOG, so now I am going to read about those crazy kids, too! Because I love those kiddlets!

I have missed Megan! The coolest thing, though, is that the Moms are trying to organize a little plan (mostly, I think, to keep watch over their troubled daughters... ie: me and Megs) where once a month we ALL... Mom, Padre, Rinny, Me, Megs, Jakey, T-La, Les, Gabe, Caleb, Eli, Aunt Clare, and Uncle Lynn... have Sunday dinner together! YAY! I think it's a very good plan. Just because it means seeing Megs and the little boys at least once a month. Good plan! Wheee!

So, I have to admit it is not just the blog reorganization that brings up Fresno in my mind. That happens more than I am comfortable with. My brain sucks. Grrr. Anyway, the thing is his birthday is the first, and I remembered that recently and wanted to kick myself for even knowing that anymore, you know? Plus, it's hard not to feel old when most of my friends are suddenly expecting their 2nd or 3rd child and my cousin's KIDS are having bridal showers. And pretty much the extent of my talking to that are not married dads taking kids to our classes at the museum are the parade of semi-literate Nigerians that won't stop senselessly falling for me me on SS (which, btw, is For Sale! Anybody COOL (and rich?Like a Thousand-aire?!) wanna buy a dating site that used to be my main social life?). At least they write me gems like this:

"You’re as beautiful as an angel in the sky. I can imagine how pretty and gorgeous you were in your flower age."

Whiskey Tango... I AM ONLY 29! How long ago WAS my Flower Age anyway?

I AM writing regularly to a hilarious intelligent literate non-Nigerian on OKCupid. Mostly about things like Underoos, tinfoil hats, and putting the Ninja Turtles on the endangered species list. THAT is some funny stuff. Very funny boy. Too bad he's not also very Mormon. (As in, well, he ISN'T Mormon.). hee hee. Ah well, such is life.

Anyway, it's nice to have funny people to talk to when I actually DO. Mostly, lately I am either at work writing curriculum for our upcoming day camps or playing with goats or at a doctor's appointment, or laying down in a dark room, doped up, and wishing my head would just DISAPPEAR. Sure, I'd look a little funny decapitated but not having a headache might be worth it.

Umm... Zombies!

Friday with Fanpires and Fairies to Sunday No-Shows

It has been a CRAZY weekend!
WORK was hilarious.

So I get to the barn for my first field trip; Kindergarteners at Farm Country means emphasizing the 5 Senses. I especially love how we say "do you notice it smells different here than at your home?" and I am thinking gee I HOPE it does unless you happen to have cow poop all over YOUR house. We are full of that Teacher-ese, usually with this OVER enthusiasm that I really ONLY can must AT work with my kiddlets. In real life it is just NOT natural to be THAT chipper. "Let's say hi to our friends, Amazing Grace and Annie Oakley. They are Belgians." Or "Oh, this is our little bunny friend!" Occasionally a child asks something like "is this animal your friend too?" "Yep!" But THIS time a more logical and frustrated and confused kid raised his hand and said incredulously, "Umm, how come a horse is your FRIEND?" "Because they work so hard and help us pull our wagons and we love all the animals on our farm!" "But they can't TALK. FRIENDS can TALK." "Well, these are just... Animal friends." "But TEACHER! A horse can NOT be a friend because..." "Lets go see our peacock friends!" Other fun stuff happens at the farm, too. I LOVE Kids. There are kids and then there are kids....

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) /kɪd/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kid] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, kid·ded, kid·ding, adjective –noun

1.	Informal. a child or young person.

2.	(used as a familiar form of address.)

3.	a young goat.

and BOTH crack me up. We've just had quite a few new babies born, too. The newest pygmy ones look like kittens. I love holding the little graham cracker colored girl (and her little black twin brother) most right now. Even my own little Ambrosia participating in a favorite naughty goat past time RIDING SHEEP! The sheep hate it. They fall asleep or wander by a box and those little goats who are tiny enough to slip under the fence between the sheep and goat pens climb onto those soft woolly "blankets" to nap... OR just to stand up while the sheep go nuts while the babies entertain themselves being, though is still just a year old and you can tell she's still young, though she WASN'T chosen as the "official" Birthday Party Goat. Right now that is Ginger. The bottle-fed trouble maker shown here Mutton Busters riding around the pen. IT IS HILARIOUS! Goats are funny and smart. Sheep... not so much. (Though, actually I really like that sheep in the photo. He's friendly. He's a Rambouillet named Cherokee.) Next field trip was 1st Grade at the Children's Discovery Garden which is about Bees and Pollination in plant growth. It is a fun one. However it was HOT outside, and I was an idiot who forgot my hat. So I am once again sunburned... but still hurting from frostbite. Oh AND they were supposed to do rubbings of plants with crayons then label what part of the plant it was? Well the crayons were little pools of wax when the second group got there! (Fun to have the kids practice Fanning like the bees do so their combs don't melt though!) They loved seeing our real bee hive, though it has become disturbingly sparse this year. That whole mystery honey bee sickness or something is... bad. (And right now I am actually learning a bit from a site about ICE CREAM, randomly. But they let you make a bee. And it IS informative. Coolio. AND totally adding some of this INFO for next time.) AFTER a couple field trips at the garden I was headed to the office. The problem? The education office is in the Red Show Barn. It was only 2 or 3 in the afternoon or so but already the line to the Red Barn stretched far out into the hot sun. They were waiting for Stephenie Meyers to come and talk about The Host, at, like 7. In fact, some tried to camp out but security freaked out and kicked them out last night. So they came back this morning. And these are some GOOD tailgaters! They don't just have pizza and chairs and card games. They were making ice cream in a home-made ice scream maker and vegetable kebabs on a butane grill under beach awnings while watching videos on their laptops. It was hilarious! We could not get to our office with out stepping on blankets and asking people to move chairs and such. Truthfully, those Twilight novels are my girlishly guilty pleasure and I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting Breaking Dawn due to come out in August. I AM a fan. But I didn't know about this sold out book talk event until my Aunt L called and asked if since Rinny and I worked here did we have anyway to get in anyway. (We told her no. But that didn't stop ME from later that day attempting to get in under the pretense of working the event. You know, I thought maybe I could be all "Oh, pardon me, employee coming through. Ms. Meyers, can we get you anything? A fresh pen? Here's MY book to test it out on..." Yeah, well, Borders brought their OWN hosting peoples to sort of, uhh POLICE the door. So I failed. Hee hee!) The funniest part to me, though, was Rinny's reaction to all this when I left to run an errand. She called me all panicked. "They were fighting!" "What? Who?" "People in line! There was fighting! Security had to be called!" "SHUT UP! THAT is too funny! PLEASE tell me they were fighting over liking Edward or Jacob more, because that will SO make my day!" "Who? What? No, someone, like, butted or they were squishing closer to get more shade or something..." "Oh." "But THEY WERE SWEARING!" "Okay...?" "I was afraid and couldn't leave my office because there was fighting and they were swearing and I had to call security and..." "WAIT. YOU called security?" "I COULDN'T LEAVE MY OFFICE!" "Why?" "THEY WERE SWEARING!" "Rinny! SWEAR WORDS are not, like, jack knives! They can't actually hurt you! The people in line aren't GANG members! They are NERDS! Bookworms!" "They are KIND of like a cult... and they ARE VAMPIRE books!" I seriously almost crashed my car I was laughing so hard. My sister is such a dork. I love her to bits. But OH MY HELL what a pink and fluffy world she lives in. Anyway, yeah. AWESOME. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

ANYWAY, I DID end up SEEING Stephenie Meyers, by a weird chance. She and 2 hostess looking girls in yellow sashes were taking a BREAK behind the barn as I drove by and she seriously looked like she was ready to cry. I don't think she had anticipated the THOUSAND people in that barn STILL wanting her autograph and her hand was probably ready to break off. It might have been PLANNED to end at 9 but I would be totally shocked if she got out of there before midnight, poor woman. I mean GOOD for her, because that means more books sold and thus more fame and fortune, but I just looked at her and thought she can NOT be having a good time! She looked a little overwhelmed. But hey, good for her, and congrats for making it big, you might say. :O) Since she seems like a nice person and at least SEEMS like she really does live her faith. Kudos. And I am a dorky dorky fan. So pathetic. SIGH. And yes, I gave in and had to buy The Host, too. JUST started it. (It is for ADULTS, though, not teens. So even though I actually AM 28 rather than 18 it will be slower going than my usual literary candy. Hee hee!) SO, after I gave up trying to schmooze my way in with out tickets and enjoying the hype by proxy I went the OTHER direction on that Thanksgiving Point/Cabella's road out to the sleep doctor place. Because earlier that day they called and asked if my study could be changed from next Thursday to THIS Friday. Yay? My room was decorated in fairies which was kinda fun.... except it seemed a little incongruous when there were cameras in the ceiling and all kinds of monitors and machines on the nightstand. Not shockingly, I didn't sleep much being all trussed up like some sort of robot... (this was NOT all the wires and tubes I actually had to wear when they put me to bed (Oh, and at 11 because they "let me stay up"... as if I EVER COULD sleep that early anyway. They also let me "sleep in" TILL SEVEN. UGH. As they say "Seven has an a.m.?"). Nope, there were more. Like stuff IN my nose. Yeah, as if I could sleep comfortable with THAT. Good Gordon. Well, I don't have the OFFICIAL results but the unofficial ones seem to suggest I will be placed on a CPAP machine for oxygen after all. I am, ahh, Under-Joyed. I know everyone says it will be worth it, to sleep better and stuff. That I will get used to sleeping in a mask. That it won't make me even MORE of a long shot to ever finding love. That if I need it, then that's that. I NEED it.

But I still can't help but feel impending doom about the Mask.

SO, when I was woken up (after such a comfy and relaxing night and sleeping in SOOO late *rolls eyes*) I headed home and did my best to wash off the glue and red markings from my skin before a bridal shower in Brigham City. (Bleh. Showers.) My cousins are getting married... NOT TO EACH OTHER, MIND YOU. We are not polygamists nor are we from Texas, thank you very much. ;O) (Yeah, many of my family are LDS... but I don't think any of us FLDS) One cousins' son's fiance and another cousin's daughter had a joint bridal shower and yes, it was as cool as it sounds. hee hee! Made me feel OLD, too since now it's all the cousins' CHILDREN getting married and having babies instead of the cousins like me and Rinny. It's hard because we are sort of closer in age to the great grands anyways since Dad and mom are both second youngest of sevens in their respective fams, but also because, well, we are not MARRIED right out of missions or highschool, but of course THEY, those baby cousins, ARE.

I miss my baby bro.

OH and yeah, did we get to talk to him Sunday because remember how we were supposed to get a call for Mother's Day? NO. He had to take another 8 hour train ride. WHAT IS HE, a missionary, or Mr. Conducter?! GRRRRR!

Crappy Mother's Day! (NOT a day for Crappy Mothers)

I have been watching "our" deer more lately and trying to find the ones I knew from before. After this particularly brutal winter, our herd is back down to around 8. And I got some pics of ALL of them in the backyard together! So many we knew from before died... died in our own yard, actually. But at least one of the ones with the very wounded back legs survived. NOT the one with the horrible leg, but the other gimpy mom with her baby, and she and her baby made it through the winter... both are very fluffy (and walk with a limp.) I have named the baby, who was born very late in the season, and thus looks rather young despite having gone through a winter already, Sydney, because she looks like a little Wallaby or Kangaroo out there! She is very bold and keeps sitting right on our porch, as does her mom, Kanga. Or she WAS anyway.

A few days after this photo shoot I noticed Sydney alone for a whole day, much to close to our house, and that isn't normal for her with out mama. And the same day I am afraid I saw a very fluffy doe killed on our street. I think she is orphaned.

Sydney is weaned and SHOULD do okay, physically... but you can see from the pictures she is still really dependent on her mother and I am worried for her. The only other female fawn yet is much older than her and practically looks like one of the adults, and then I think there is that ones twin that also survived who has little nubbies of antlers coming in and is humping everything he can reach. Yay for boys. :OP So She really is alone in her group, too. I hope she makes it.

They are not pets. They don't KNOW their names, nor do I touch them, or feed them... but I still worry for them and watch them. They are "our" deer because they claimed our yard. We don't invite them (though they sure LOVE to eat my mom's petunias and apples and tulip bulbs), but with out Cassie telling them to get out, this is their home, and until the Padre's move, I suspect it will stay that way. And I will NOT let anyone hurt them here. (Including Padre who calls them "our Walking Food Storage." But HE knows, too, he can't REALLY.)

Anyway, at least it's been pretty weather for a change. Except right now (bed time, Mother's day [Translation, not really Mother's Day anymore and I will not admit how late/early it really is but I should really get off this thing and go to bed because I am going to try very very hard to go to work tomorrow come hook or by crook or by hellish migraine.]) it sounds rather stormy out there. Hmmm... I guess we will see.

I will tell you about Mother's Day and how much it SUCKED later. Like as in the day time hours when I SHOULD be up instead of being up with the wind and sugar gliders... and probably, like, vampires or something. Or, well, OTHER insomniacs.

GOOD FREAKING NIGHT. Today was bad. Praying tomorrow is 4,000 times better. But I would settle with, like, 4 times better at this point. Yeah. SIGH. Night.

That Sunday I woke up with an especially vicious migraine. I felt so sick, and like my head might split in half. I crawled to the bathroom and decided that since I felt like I was an inches from tossing my cookies this might be a really good time to try out the new mysterious Spray-in-the-Nose migraine stuff, Migranal, from the new Neurologist, Dr. FTW. But MATL. That's what it's supposed to be extra good for is the ones with nausea because it never has to go in your stomach. Well, I don't know if it just did NOT work for me, like the side effects or something, or if it was just the psychological yuckiness of squirting something in my nose, but let's just say it did NOT work and for half an hour I was hugging porcelain. AND it didn't get rid of the migraine either. And yeah, BAD day. It was like that ALL day.

But THIS Sunday wasn't just any Sunday, it was MOTHER'S DAY! Which, for the families of Mormon Missionaries, is one of the 2 phone calls a year they get to make home. USUALLY. Except that the day before, BoyKid's mission President called us from Italy (thus scaring us to death and causing us each to hold our breath and cry because he could not say "everything is fine" fast enough) to say baby brother would NOT be able to call because he'd be on a train to help with some other missionary's companion. SOmething like that. He wouldn't give us details, it being a private issue of the OTHER elder. But, it's what he needs to do, I guess. He is District Leader, after all.

So, we haven't got to talk to him yet. I miss him SO MUCH! We get to talk to him NEXT week, hopefully. I just want to hear him say STUFF. Anything. The kid is funny. Smart. The greatest little bro EVAH!

Anyway, so, yeah, I have a NEW Neurologist which is a very good thing. If I ever really SAW the ACTUAL neurologist that would be one thing, but I never do. I see her PA who prescribes me the meds that have given me ulcers, made me hallucinate, and just not HELPED in general. I do NOT trust her one bit. So Dr. FTW, who DOES know meds, is a good thing. She has taken me OFF several pills (YAY!) and given me some different headache ones to try. That Migranal, Axert (which *has* really helped a couple times so far!), and some others. But she is also concerned about how my Sleep Test before told me I had "a little, very mild, Sleep Apnea." She said "it's like saying, 'I'm a little pregnant' you're either you are or you aren't."

She also wants to reevaluate my lesions in my brain and stuff. So *SIGH* back to the tests. BLEH. But, hey... maybe this time I will get more conclusive answers?

What's so "fun" about having only 4 candy eggs per package?

Random... news.

News 1

Well, BoyKid DID get transfered. I think it's gonna be hard on him, too. He loved training. He LOVED Parma. Also, even though he has that perpetual good attitude thing that few can manage but him, but my mom always looks at, like travel info wherever he goes. And all of it says stuff like "don't plan any time for Ancona. It is a noisy dirty truck stop." Not that missions are for site-seeing... they are for soul-saving! But Parma was Gorgeous. OH and the only thing touristy she found about Ancona? NUDE BEACHES. HA HA HA HA! I mean, Elders can't swim anyway, but they couldn't even walk ALONG the beach here! hee hee hee! SO in a desperate search to find fun things to talk about to baby bro about his new area I went Google happy and found out some LESS, uhh, CONVENTIONAL fame for Ancona. CROP CIRCLES, People. ("I'm insane with anger!") HA! According to several sites, he is in, like, Area 51. "in Ancona are found many mysterious and some of the world's most beautiful crop circles." (one of my favorite parts was where it said that ONE of the 10 was probably a hoax according to ufologists. Did you know that "ufologists" is the same in English and Italian?

News 2

Another deer died. This time it was technically in the next door neighbor's yard but we still had to call to get it picked up. Because we are the Lorax! We speak for the deer! The padre's neighbors are these very nice people from Vietnam who speak very little English. My mom is good friends with the mom. They go out to lunch together, which cracks me up, even though communication is a lot of smiling and nodding. (Also very funny was when my mom and another lady from her church decided to give her a Book of Mormon (VietnaMom is not LDS) in her language, and accidentally gave her one in Urdu (Pakistani language) which looks NOTHING like Vietnamese because it was in Alphabetical order but on the wrong shelf and my mom didn't know any better. She gave it to her, and when she told my mom "I can not read this." she thought she had totally offended her. Then she said "No, I can't read this language!" my mom protested and said "yes! You can! Look, it's in Vietnamese!" So that was pretty awesome because it cracked VietnaMom up for like 20 minutes.)

Anyway, so the other day, VietnaMom comes over and gets Mom and says "you have deer, yes?"

"well, we have them in our yard, but they aren't REALLY OURS you know. I mean, they live here, but I don't own them. I can't like... call them." I think she was worried "our" deer were causing trouble and maybe VietnaMom thought we could stop them. But instead, VietnaMom started to CRY!

"Oh, I so sorry! Your deer is dead! I tell [some other random neighbor] deer die on yard and they say call [Our last name] they know what do!"

So my mom did. She called and they came to take, yet again, another deer away. VietnaMom kept crying, and asked why it died. Mom told her that just happened in the winter.

"because they just so cold?"

"More because the food runs out. They starve."


It was... cute somehow. I don't mean that condescendingly, or to sound racist. It just... was.


News 3

My friend and Crater-ville roomie, Alabama, might just move back to Utah! This is a happy thing, I think. For one thing, I know we don't REALLY live in "Happy Valley" (do I EVER!) but maybe, somehow, being here would be GOOD for her... church-wise. And for me, well, I have been feeling such a longing for old friends, for reconnecting.

News 4

I am dealing with an odd medical thing. A nerve thing. Like an all over body carpal tunnel. Like electric shocks. Like hitting my funny bone all the time. I don't know what I am going to do. Right now it looks like it's to do with a collapsed part in my spine. It hurts, even with meds. I'm not doing so well. It's frustrating.

News 5

I have NOT eaten any Cadbury Mini Eggs from the "fun-size" bag in the drawer in this desk. I am saving them TILL EASTER. I gave them up for Lent and dang it all, I am going to do SOMETHING right this time!

Missin' Missi'n[aries]

I talked to Parker for over an hour! It made me very very happy! Then he hung up and I bawled for over an hour.

I miss having platonic (and, NON-platonic for that matter) guy friends SO MUCH it made my [locked]heart ache. And I so miss my baby brother.

OH AND!!! Parker's little sister just got called on a mission... TO OUR MISSION!!! So we are going to tell her a million places to go and people to see for us. We will make her, like, honorary Fringe. Oh I miss Parker. I miss Coats! I miss Lil' Jeppers.

I miss BoyKid.

He will be out a whole year, March 7th. Wow. Today is transfers... AND we got no letter... is he still in Parma? We don't know. Hope we hear soon.

I need to go to bed. I didn't sleep last night till, like, well 6 this (weds) morning. UGH. Peace.

Mr. Cousin Jas?!

A few things. First of all, I am going a little (MORE than a little) stir crazy living with the padres. I forget how much life HERE revolves around sports and parties. It is like pets at my house. Everyday we have cousins over because of "the game." "The Game" may be basketball OR football. It usually means Auntie O's fam comes over (sometimes including Brett and Annie who DO rock... they lived with us before) and Auntie O asks how I am and annoys me and so I hide from them.

Apparently THIS time "The Game" also means we will be going to Vegas the weekend before Christmas. We will be having Christmas with the Idaho J's, Padre's FAVORITE big brother, the one who now live there in Nevada, NOT Idaho (and, incidentally the only family on "our side" of the schism about Uncle Rude). AND we will be going to the Las Vegas Bowl which Padre has been finagling to get tickets for and, well, did. (Thai, I bet you guys will be watching that one... albeit, wearing opposite colors! Ha!)

now, when I say "we," there is a strong possibility *I* will be merely THERE. Alternately in a hotel or at Idaho J's house on pain pills and crying. I really really want to hope that by then I won't be... and there is SOME hope. We have a different plan.

After finding NOTHING WRONG WITH ME except pain...
"your white count is up... but not a LOT... which can be caused by severe pain and stress."
"your Sed rate is elevated... it seems there is pain and inflammation in the body... basically caused by pain..."

The basic idea is that I hurt so much because... I AM IN PAIN.

Therefore, with nothing left to go on, that is what we are going to treat. I have been referred to a Pain Management person who thinks it is POSSIBLE it may be muscular/nerve stuff, originating in my back. I meet with him Thursday to evaluate, schedule MRIs and we may just figure out where to do trigger point injections... kinda like my head.

It is a band-aid for a cut that I don't know where it is from. It is not a solution. But it is SOMETHING. And if it will work, even a little, I will take it. If it will get me off constant pain meds and out of bed wishing I would die in the night, I will do it.

It is just SOMETHING while we keep looking for a doctor that can help, but Dr. Hasacrazywife came back and even though my insurance won't take him, we went back to him. Because he KNOWS me. He knows I am not whining for nothing. And he is willing to actually go through the now PILES of tests and keep looking. And he thinks this is out next, intermediate, step. So I will take it.

Because my other option might be hospitalization for other things because I can't stop hurting. And I can't handle that.

This is a bad time for me right now. Yeah.

But not EVERYTHING is bad, COATS called me! We talked and laughed our heads off about our rather pathetic lives. I miss her. Living with Coats, both on the mission and as roomies at SUU, was HILARIOUS. And horrible. And Hilarious. She updated me on the family news/scandals. Her poor little cousin who is preggy, but really awesomely giving the baby for adoption. Her older sister and hubby (we don't like either of them much) are having ANOTHER baby. But the biggest news that made me simultaneously want to scream, cry, cheer, and hug him? COUSIN JAS IS MARRIED.

At first I felt a little sick, I admit.

But he was married in the temple. That made me a little less sick, but gave me a headache and made me worry.

BUT he got his life in order, stopped drinking and smoking, started going regularly to church, and went to the temple a couple months BEFORE HE EVEN MET HER! THAT made me want to spin him around and hug him. Oh Jas, I am so proud of you I could cry... so jealous of her, I just MIGHT... but still. GO YOU.

BoyKid is HILARIOUS. His letters... I should share snippets. Things like "Missionary life is kinda like being in 24. People come in your life, you get very close to them...and then they blow up. Or more accurately they go home or get transferred." He kills me. And, we found out today, now he is a TRAINER. He will be so good. That new little elder will be lucky. my baby bro ROCKS.

Also, I am sort of writing a guy on Mingle. It is a little awkward because I just look at stuff there and think "Fresno" but he seems nice. Not that it will go anywhere... he is an army guy... he is in Kentucky. But, it is nice to have a distraction. He is a geek. He likes to drawing, WoW, and Dungeons and Dragons. He is MIGHTY cute.

lady of the evening...

Okay, so I'm not a hooker... or a vampire... though, when reading Eclipse.... Mmmmm....


ANYWAY...Scouts was long and tiring and my stupid cold made it longer and more tiring.

And by the time environmental science was over I was BEAT and very sick. So I didn't get out to DO things till just a couple hours ago and can I just say there are some CLAAAAAASSY folks at the all-night pharmacy at night?

My FAVORITE was a group of 3 friends all with free trial cards to pay for their 3 matching prescriptions of birth control. They were all about 20 at most. It was a total Social event! "Hey lets all go to the doctor together so we can have sex at the same time! Sweet!" But the cards weren't working and they were swearing up a storm. It was pretty hilarious.

However, not quite so hilarious is that I ended up spending $301.85 there on meds.

See, back before I got my job at MyFamily.com I was trying desperately to get someone to give me insurance as I was going to no longer be covered by the Padres'. I wasn't diagnosed Diabetic yet, but was pretty sure I was going to be and didn't WANT to be until after I got insurance. I have enough preexisting conditions to scare off ANYONE, I didn't want to add anything new to the mix (little did I know Diabetes was just the tip of the iceberg. Grrrr...).

I ended up with the only one that would accept me, the very unhelpful Altius. It was looking pretty grim. HOWEVER, then I got the job at MyFamily. I started out basically hijacking service calls from AOL (HATE THEM) and trying to sell genealogy. It was horrible. BUT then, things changed. I got promoted to the be on a service team. It was good. I felt like we were actually HELPING people rather than pretending to help them in order to sell things to them. And, they also gave me a really REALLY good insurance plan. Like THE BEST. It was going good. Really good.

Not surprisingly, when a new CEO came and there were all those lay offs, our team, one of the only GOOD things left, was scrapped.

Ended up being a blessing, in a way, though. I hated losing that job but things with the new CEO were going downhill FAST any way and then I got very sick and and was going to have to quit soon. Had I done that, or been fired, I would have lost my benefits. Benefits that have lasted me a year, and helped me pay for such insanities as my gall bladder surgery, my sleep test for the apnea, ETCETERA.

However, nothing is that simple, is it? Suddenly somebody discovered each other. It's not like it was a secret. I LIST both. But SelectHealth found out they were not the first one I OWNED and said that ALTIUS has to be my Primary and they my secondary, not the other way around. We told them I didn't USE Altius, it was just a back up. They said we weren't allowed to PICK our primary. CRAP. So suddenely they stary deinying things retroactively... sending stuff to Altius, so that Altius can deny them and send them BACK to them! IT IS SO FRUSTRATING.

Like most of adulthood.

After another pharmacy battle I got in the car and cried, though as much for BEING the type od person who NEEDS that many meds to stay alive and stuff as for having to pay for them.

When's that resurrection thing happening anyway? Because I am getting a little antsy for an upgrade. SIGH.

However, there are other insurance matters to worry about as well... I mean, think about it. At least they won't steal my 300 dollar medication for fuel.



p.s. that happens to be a favorite of my bro and I. OH GOOD GORDON BUT I MISS HIM! He is, with out a doubt, one of the funniest little brothers ever. And I loved his last letter about the FHE... FLIRTING Home Evening. It's good to know boys are still idiots in the church, even in Italy, huh?

Oh hey fam! Greetings from Cuneo. Sorry that the letter is a little late. Yesterday was 15 Agosto. In otherwords, the only day of the year when even the Internet points are closed. The city and Italy was basically dead so it was our twice a year deep cleaning day. We had a huge ward activity in the mountains and after we came back and spent the night cleaning. So today, our nice friendly library internet is closed and the only place that is open is a little shadey. So I am basically keeping my eyes focused on the keyboard to protect my innocent little brain. yikes!

So, this week...I did some stuff. It was a little different. A lot of our investigators are going on vacation so...to the Streets! We have been teaching a lot on the street lately trying to find new investigators. We have taught a lot of lessons but its been a hard week getting phone numbers. These weeks have been interesting. Anziano Gibson has a lot of theories. Most of them I dont agree with, but I am learing something. With Anziano Shanchy we were getting a little number happy. We were forgetting that behind each lesson we taught their was a person that needed to feel the love of God. Anziano Gibson is SO anti numbers, he thinks that they are just used to impress the Zone Leaders. I disagree but I have focused more on helping the person...not just trying to teach them a street lesson. I think it has helped.

Some of the highlights this week. The funniest FHE ever! We were invited to the Young Single Adults FHE on Friday. It was a fun night with kids our age, but it was pretty obvious that we werent one of them. Watching them hangout and flirt was kind of funny, and it made me grateful that I dont have to worry about those things right now. One member Mirko, is very nice but so over the top. He is also in love with one of our new converts, Elisa. I almost died as he gave the spiritual thought. He dimmed the light and gave a talk on Love. His first words were "love does not just mean a man and a woman" (looking at Elisa) it is more. He then had us (we were dying) hand out and light candles in the darkened room. While he turned on the Love song from "A walk to remember". After lighting all the candles he pointed out that "when we have love it can lighten a darkened room," while Mandy Moore Sang "to be only yours I pray" It was....touching. Who said missions arent really funny. It was a good evening that we got to introduce the church to a friend of Elisa, and Niomi. He is interested in hearing more!

Whoof, I am out of time....so I do this quick.

Monday night we all took the train to Torino for a sleep over with the Zone Leaders! We had Zone conference the next morning so it was a fun chance to learn from others. I loved teaching and just talking with Anziano Valente and Aylett. They are good leaders, (Anziano Gibson thinks they are number driven) and I hope to learn as much as I can from them.

Tuesday, was Zone conference, and it was good. It was about planning and I needed the lesson. We got some great tips that will help me be more organized and use my time a lot better. I also got to teach on the train with Anziano Valente. It was fun, and we spoke to a man from the Phillipines, so he spoke English. It was funny how hard it was for me to teach in my own language! I kept trying to say things in italian.

Wed We had a huge ward activity in the Mountains that was a lot of fun. There was a big river, and everyone (but the missionaries) went cliff jumping. I didnt get wet but I got a lot of pictures.

Ok, I best be going, in the words of my mother I love your stinkin guts!
(= io Amo le vostre poncio che putzono!)

p.p.s even though he still can't spell, a word about my bro's grammar. The keyboards at those places don't have apostrophes. So he is excused those.

I am more Baggage than Passenger

I am having a very bad day, and it came on crazy fast. I can't even blame Fresno. It's not even about losing him right now. It's just about me. (Can I sound any more selfish?)

I was doing okay. I took all my meds. I was dressed fairly cute (CC, Stewie, it was the same thing I wore yesterday to the Baptism because it was still clean), I was on time and I was feeling so good about church I even thought maybe I would share my testimony (but probably not. Stages and I are NOT FRIENDS, even when "inspired").

Then one of the testimonies set me off. It was so embarrassing. He starts talking about when his mom died and she had diabetes and I had, like a major breakdown. Big anxiety attack... the whole deal, the shaking and nausea and no air to breath and insanity... (by the way, Hermioniny posted about them in a more intelligent way than this. You should read THAT instead.) and then almost went up there to tell him "HEY. People usually don't die of diabetes. They lose their sight. They lose LIMBS. They feel like crap every day of their lives. They don't get to die, not even if they want to." Instead, I just started to cry. I left. I went to my Jeep and cried about my stupid diabetes and the stupid lesions in my brain that my doctor wouldn't look at this time and my stupid fat body and how I wish I could cut it away like carving off excess clay. I cried about how my head kept me from even sitting comfortably through a whole sacrament meeting. I cried and almost LAUGHED at the idea that Fresno or any other boy would ever want to deal with this.

*I* sure don't want to, but I don't have a choice. I am stuck with Me. They can get a different Her. I can't get a different Me. I am screwed.

And so, yeah, I left church today and came home, feeling sick and ugly and too out of control to sit in a room full of other people who could look at me.

I think I hear someone at the door who I am pretty sure is Matt who lives in the Cemetery Plot (a house in our neighborhood) who is the one who first talked me into coming to this ward and who also saw me leave. He will be checking on why I did so. However, and I know this is rude, I am not up to pretending to be NORMAL sick instead of mental and so I am going to pretend to be taking a nap in here and hope he goes away.

Actually, I think I really AM going to lay down. My head is throbbing out of my skull.

I am supposed to go to the Padres' for Family Dinner. We are finishing up a care package for BoyKid including a memory card for his camera. We record stuff on it... videos or just narrated pics... because Mom has the same camera. Then we swap. It is really fun because we get to see and hear him so much. I miss him a ton.

But I wish it wasn't today. I am afraid I am not good at pretending to be cheerful today and I REALLY do not want to look like this for BoyKid. I haven't even told him Fresno and I broke up. Though he usually KNOWS when I am depressed anyway. The kid is freaking IN TUNE. But then, I am not very in tune and I usually know when he is struggling too. So, yeah. We are close. Anyway, I will tell him. I just wanted to wait a bit. Like maybe after the girl he is teaching, Sandra, gets baptized. I don't need him thinking about ME. There is major work for him to do in Italy.

I miss my baby brother so much.

Actually, I think I really AM going to lay down, not just pretend. My head is throbbing out of my skull.

Back from my illegal nap now. My head is bad enough still (though the nap tempered it some... but really is bad. I am not allowed them.) that I will be taking some Loritab soon. BLEH. HATE the way it makes me feel. Some people say it makes them loopy and happy. For me, it helps with pain but just makes me feel SLOW. Like my brain can't connect with the rest of me. I hate that scary hazy feeling. I don't even like Benadryl.

Anyway, I don't know that I have solved anything at all (Well, NO, I know I HAVEN'T. I still have Diabetes. I still have enough medical mysteries to put several doctors' children through college. Fresno is still gone and I still don't plan on meeting his equal.) but writing it out HALF helps. It only half helps me because on the one hand I get it out, my own free therapy. But on the other it gets be thinking and crying even harder.

And now I will attempt to turn OFF my brain for a bit (I wonder if Little House or Perry Mason is on?)...



In the realm of your basic weekend randomonium:

"I've always held that early marriage indicates secondary goods that need to be sold in a hurry"
- Mr. Harrison, Anne of Green Gables - The Sequel

and

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.
- Albert Einstein

And then because you were condering, is Kipluck more of a Dork a Geek or a Nerd...

Your Score: Outcast Genius

82 % Nerd, 65% Geek, 60% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius.

Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occasion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).

Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius.

Congratulations!

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

and freakiest of all...

"Oh great Mormons! " "Actually, we are Quantum Presbyterians"

hee hee hee hee hee! I am so missing my baby brother today. I am mean and just sent him a picture of me buying Harry Potter. But then I was nice and talked about how much cooler it was that he was on a mission. I love BoyKid.

Everytime I see the Simpsons movie trailer I think of BoyKid though, because he LOVES Simpsons. Poor kiddo. He is ROCKING as a missionary. But is having a hard time. Because there are books and movies here (and hot girls there). But he is phenomenal. Seriously.

In his honor (and cuz I liked Bucksome's avatars) I had fun Simpsonizing myself... etc.


and Rinny...
And Fresno...
and The Roomie... (note the Don't Have a Cow shirt? Because she's Vegan! hee hee hee!)

"Unnaturally Cute" Kitty Brat

Marco the kitten is, apparently, attacking ghosts. She is NUTS. Seriously she is batting at and chasing NOTHING... and with gusto! But I am still just pleased as heck with the kitten because she is 100% a different cat than when we fished her out of that brick. Rinny doesn't believe it. She was really scared of her when we caught her. But me and mom were telling her how CUTE she is now and how TAME she is! Rinny is not convinced. I wish Rinny would KEEP her.

*I* don't really want a cat, but I would love for her to stay near and in the family. She is so funny. I wish CC COULD have have her.

However, she is still not a glider. She will play with their toys but isn't as smart as them, I don't think... and can't fly... or sleep in my shirt. Kittens are just a poorman's glider. OH which reminds me. Tonight's convo at the padres'! Mom told me that Padre said if I would get rid of the gliders he would get me a dog or even let me keep the kitten. HA! RIGHT. Because I would just TRADE pets. Not like they are my BABIES or anything. Dumb Padre.

Granted, I LOVE dogs and will get one someday. But not instead of my sugar babies.

HA!!! The cat just ran HEAD FIRST into the wall! She is cute, but DANG Marco is NOT a brilliant baby. hee hee hee. She's so cute.

Today at family dinner we watched BoyKid's little slide show of recent pics and videos and just laughed and laughed. I MISS MY LITTLE BROTHER. He is so the same kid though. Funny, dorky, adorable! I love that kid. He is such a fantastic little missionary!

Part of his recent letter:

Wheeeen the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie thats lockheart amOOREEE!

Hey fam of my heart! So...hows it goin...no kidding. Thanks for all the
mail and the pictures recipes and everything and yes I recieved that email.
You are all amazing and it is great to see letters from my fam. I dont have
time to read them so I print them off, so if there are questions Ill answer
them next week.

...Saturday the day turned interesting. Anz Schanchy has had a cyst for awhile
now. Hes taken antibiotics to kill the infection be it started getting huge
so we decided to go to the hopsital. We waited for 2 hours (thank you
sociallzed medicine) and then he got it cut and drained. He was hurtin bad
and I was fairly grossed out. Anyway his strength has been low, so we
havent done as much work lately, which makes eveyone kinda edgy, and
annoyed. Missionaries are meant to be outside, not cooped up in an
apartment. Weve managed to work more as it has healed. Luckily he felt
good enough to go to the baptism sat. night. Anz Earley and Blad baptized
this awesome 8 year african girl and it was good service. I want one of my
own soooo bad! The Lord has called me to baptize, not just to sow seeds,
and I know that if I put my trust in him, we will see success.

Sunday was church and it was fun, and after we taught Flaviano. The man
needs a miracle, and I am just trying to be worthy to see one.

Monday was hard, we recieved some Bidones and had to do street, which I
respect Anz Skanchy for doing even with a bloody hole in his stomach. We
taught a Romanian who was Orthodox and laughed when we said we could
communicate with God through prayer. It made me sad that he was taught that
man isnt worthy to speak with God. I feel very grateful to know that God
loves us enough to command us to pray.

Awww... how cute and righteous is he?

...Yesterday was a busy day. We served at Mistral, by cutting lawns, and then
helped them by translating a pamphlet into english that they can send to the
Bill Gates foundation to get funding. It was funny because Anz Skanchy had
a hard time with English. It makes me worry about my classes at BYU after
my mish!

Bill Gates? I'm sorry, WHAT?

After we had a funny experience. Remember how Missionaries are just 19 year
old idiots? I do too. We taught a great investigator. She knows it is
true and even though she isnt ready for baptism yet she keeps giving us
referrals! Anyway she brought a friend to an appointment yesterday. The
Friend turned out to be a 22 year old girl who happened to be UNNATURALLY
CUTE! Both me and my comp had a real hard time beginning the lesson. The
great thing though was when we began the spirit came so strong and bore
record to us that she was a daughter of god, and that she needed to hear
this message. We taught the Restoration and it was a great lesson.
Missionary work aint easy, but it is so worth it.

Anz. Mayberry

"Unnaturally Cute" HEE HEE HEE HEE!

And my Mom decided to answer him this:

When you swim in the sea/And an eel bites your knee/That's a moray
When you ace your last tests / Like you did all the rest / That's some more "A"s!
In the Aussie outback / roasted 'roo in his pack / that's a Maori.
When our habits are strange / And our customs deranged / That's our mores.
When Othello's poor wife / She gets stabbed with a knife / That's a Moor, eh?
When a snack you desire / Toasted over a fire / That's a smore, eh?
When your sheep go to graze / In a damp marshy place / That's a moor, eh?
When you're soaking up sun / At the beach, having fun / That's some more rays
When "The Fonz" gives a shout / 'Cause he likes what's turned out / That's some more "Aaaayyyy"s
When your paycheck augments / With more dollars and cents / That's some more raise!
When your last try has sunk / But then new thoughts you've thunk / That's some more ways!
When you read tons of books / About cowboys and crooks / That's (Louis) L'Amour-ay.
And our friend Mitch Albom / every Tuesday would come / to hear Morrie.
When a horse is among / Others nursing their young, / That's a mare, eh?
When the school says "Don't worry / Learn to dance in a hurry.", / That's A (rthur) Murray.
When a golf ball you drive / and for cover they dive / That’s a "Fore!", eh?
When you've had quite enough / Of this bad rhyming stuff /That's "No more!", eh?

I *HEART* my family.

Arrivederci, Anziano BoyKid, Hello Aunt Flo

it's been a really really long day.

I want some chocolate. Even just Ovaltine.

Parts of today have been good, but still EMOTIONAL.

Early this morning my baby brother, BoyKid left the MTC to fly to Milan, Italy. He was allowed to call us, though (since the days of "seeing" missionaries off AT the airport is long gone.) when he reached Chicago. Next he would fly to England. THEN into Milan. Anyway, Rinny and I missed work to go to the Padres' to talk with him on speaker with Padre and Mom.

I can't believe he will be there. I am so jealous! But at the same time, wow, he is going to have a hard time. But STILL, he DOES get to see stuff like the Duomo.

But talking to him was SO much fun, but also hard. I miss him. We ALL miss him, so much. He really is perfect for this, though. He is so spiritual, much more so than I have ever been. But he is also so HIM. All funny and fun and crazy. He has to be careful not to flirt as much as he is used to, but all that have been serving with him thus far LOVE him, sisters and elders alike. He makes everyone laugh... but not at the expense of the spirit. BoyKid is, in my opinion, the PERFECT elder.

But, unfortunately, he is related... has our genes... and thus, already battles a bit of Depression. He is hard on himself, too, and wants so much to be perfect, but doesn't see himself anywhere close. The mission is going to be very hard on him, I am afraid. I don't want him to... well... feel like me. When he says anything that sounds remotely like it, I feel my heart screaming NO NO NO NOT BoyKid. LEAVE HIM ALONE! Please, spare him from this. He doesn't deserve it. He is, really too good for it.

I am so proud of my little brother. In the airport he had his first "contact"... he made a goal to try to share the Book of Mormon with SOMEONE on his way out. The first person he talked to? A polite, intelligent man who had a lot to say... part of which was "...well, to Christian's, like me who have been born again... of which I am a preacher..."

Yup, first person my baby bro chooses to talk to outside of Utah was, of course, a Preacher. hee hee hee hee!

Anyway, I have a ton more to write, but as I was saying it has been a very very long day. So I will continue this tomorrow. After ANOTHER long day.

Now it's ANOTHER 'nother day. Thursday. And I can't remember what I was even going to tell you. Let's see. It was emotional. Then I had a neurology appointment and they want to do another MRI in a couple months. And try new meds. And then work was frustrating. And I should really share more pictures of my little brother doing funny stuff in the MTC that he sent me. But I don't have them right here. So, ummm, later.

In summary:
Depression sucks
Fresno is sweet
I rock at shopping...
too bad I am not financially stable.
I hate meds.
I love meds.
I cried A LOT.
My girly parts do not work normal yet, they JUST cramp painfully. That is all. Just hurt, make me sick, and most likely undo any of the good being done by my anti-depressants. Basically, so far I ONLY get PMS.... with no actual period, nor *end* to the PMS in sight. Yeah. Still need to get THAT figured out.