Review

Wow. Okay, so, since I last wrote here...

• I went to the Ostleparkwells (Megan and T-La's house (which includes Megan and her hubby and her retired racing greyhound, T-La and her hubby and her 3 hilarious little boys and her dog (Just one. RIP Sydney :( I will miss him.), and my Aunt and Uncle. They have a pretty full house... but a FUN one!)) for Thanksgiving!  My stomach is still an utter mess due to Gastroparesis and who knows what else so I hurt a ton even though I only ate, like, a roll and sweet potatoes. BUT it was still SO much fun to see those guys.  I love them so much!  Especially Megan who is the BEST bestfriend/cousin I could ask for.
• Saw a turkey pardoning. REPORTED on said turkey pardoning. 
• Mom and I got in a car wreck. Pretty serious.  Okay, not THAT serious. (We walked away with just bruises and such)  But not minor. (our car is bad off and the car that caused it is TOTALED and basically we were all really lucky.) A MEDIUM SERIOUSNESS CAR ACCIDENT.  We had just stopped at a light, but it was backed up pretty far.  The car full of teenagers behind us wasn't looking, they slammed into us.  It felt like a bomb going off. The force shoved us into the car in front of us. The car in front of us got a little scratched and dented. Our front bumper is basically hanging on by a thread (or magic). Our back bumper is miraculously better, because the car behind us looks like an accordion.
• Had a Critters 2 Go party. It was a good one.  But then...
• My frog died. No, I know what you are thinking, that I DID already write about that. THIS IS MY OTHER FROG, Mab.  So did my mantis, Johnny Cash.  Her days were numbered as it is winter and she would have died long ago were she out in the wild.  But I still miss her and I just really didn't want to be mourning these girls right now.  Even though both could have been old age. (Mab I have only had 3 years, but 5 years is a normal amount for Greens and I don't know how old she was when I bought her at that expo. I know she was an adult... I mean, she wasn't a TADPOLE... but I have no idea. I just... she was such a pretty little frog.  Her name fit her well, queen of the fairies. She will be missed.
• I discovered (and read several years of posts) Regretsy.  I have laughed SO much, but I can not in good concience RECOMMEND it to most. It is definitely PG-13 + fair.  The millions of F-words (not to mention more needle felted vaginas and polymer penises than you can shake an over-priced bedazzled stick at).  But up there with CakeWrecks, though CakeWrecks is MUCH more family friendly, even with it's occasional naughty cake.
• Went to the Provo "Lights On" Parade (which was a pretty pathetic affair involving a lot of golf carts) BECAUSE.... my little bro, BoyKid, the future Leslie Knope, was in it on his motorcycle as TRON!!! p.s. it was freezing cold, I don't know how he survived. Hee hee!
• Went to BYU's Divine Comedy. I love them. It wasn't their BEST, but the "AladdYn" part was hilarious. 

And the day after tomorrow, I get to swallow a camera. Things are not boring. *sigh*

Goody 5 Shoes

1. General Conference is good. I loved the counsel of the church leaders. I loved what they said. I loved how I felt - for at least a few hours, and then I was back to normal (depressed).  But such is (my) life.

2. I am reading the last of the 3 "His Dark Materials," The Amber Spyglass.  I am sure there are some of you that think it is a bad book. I'll tell you why I *don't*: Okay so in the book God is the villain. But the thing is in the books he IS a villain.  He's a liar and he's cruel..  IN THE BOOK. It's not reality. It's fiction. This is a story of if God was this way and the world were this way than such and such.
He's NOT and it's not, so yeah.  I am not stressed by it. It's a fantasy and a good one.  And the fact that the author is an athiest doesn't mean anything/  I'm not. 

3. Saw the aftermath of an accident. A bad one. A man was layiung on the road, so was his motorcycle. And his shoes. Why does it always knock their shoes off.  When my aunt was killed on the freeway, her shoes were knocked off too.  Seeing those shoes today made me sick. 

4. I am going to get my USDA license.  Critters 2 Go will NOT be taken down by a tattle-tale. I am not sure how much this is going to cost me. Or how long it will take me. But I want to do this right.

5 I am watching Iron Man 2/  It's good. ;)

I've Been Clunked... but it's not MY Cash

I recently have become much more environmentally friendly, you might say.

I am pretty conservative, but I have always been the "granola" one in my family. I recycle when I can afford it, I care for animals, I either use reusable grocery bags or take home the plastic ones to use as trash bags.

And, of course I am in education so I am CONSTANTLY collecting and using the following for art projects:

2 Liter Pop Bottles
Toilet Paper Rolls

Film Canisters

CapriSun Pouches

Vegetable Scraps

Cardboard Egg Cartons

Wire Hangers (appologies to Mommy Dearest!)

Plastic Water Bottles
By the way, we need a THOUSAND of the water bottles and hangers soon, so if you have some for me I'd love you and if you have a LOT for me, I'd BRIBE you. Like you're fam could be my half price guests at Thanksgiving Point or something.

ANYWAY, back to the point... my family just recycled something BIG. Ducky, my Jeep. Even though it truly was a "clunker" and had to be towed half way there and then fixed BY the dealer for the deal to go through, I still cried a little.

HIGH on a Mountain Top...

I have been hurting a lot lately and haven't been IN to work, but HAVE been working. Fairchild Challenge. *screams* HOWEVER, I have to admit I have spent even MORE hours campaigning against a bill in a state that I don't even live in. Because it involves Sugar Gliders, but also, it is just a BAD BILL. And I have friends in Missouri and I just... I have kind of become obsessed with not letting it pass. I have been flooding message boards and email with info. Writing letters to the editor of news papers in Missouri (where it is) and contacting pet stores and politicians around there. Anyway, yeah. Listen, House Bill 1847 basically bans ALL birds, most reptiles, and several small mammals like gliders, Degus, and maybe ones like rats and stuff for the whole state of Missouri. And if we get all Millennial and we end up having to move there I better damn well be able to bring my babies with me. Anywhoo... If this sounds at ALL like something important to you look at my other blog, Tails from the Ark, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and DO something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On (Good) Friday I went to the temple! I haven't been in a REALLY long time. It was a very very good thing to do considering it is the week to remember the Resurrection of the Savior (not that we shouldn't remember ANYWAY, but you know what I mean!)! Rinny, the Righteous One was the one who instigated it, and Mom and I came with. However, I probably really shouldn't have. Even with a LOT of meds... and I mean a lot... INCLUDING the one that gave me a bad trip last time (but a much MUCH smaller dose) I was hurting a lot. Also I was scared I was going to be, like, stoned... in the Temple. I felt sick the whole time and it was hard to pay any attention and fell asleep, not just during, uhh, quiet times, but actually while DOING things. In fact, once I fell asleep while I was standing. A Leeeeetle scary.

So it probably wasn't wise to go right now. My mom thought so anyway. But it was good, too. So, sometimes good cancels out unwise. Hee hee! Anyway, I am kind of paying for it more now. There is something bad happening in my leg right now. I am pretty sure my thigh wants to kill me. STUPID LEG. But yay for the gospel!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[removed by request of my mom... who read it... and was mentioned... and also thinks I may potentially hurt feelings of family members so, yeah. Sorry to Mom. And her sister and brother in law even though I have NO idea why they would ever stumble upon this entry or even this blog. * And private mom stuff has been eliminated. I really AM sorry]

So, I need to be more righteous! (Because I need a buncha blessings and need to be worthy of them and all I got right now is VERY occasional temple attendance and, hey! I updated my spiritual blog!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Easter was good-ish. Rinny came over (to the Padre's. Because that's where I am right now. *SIGH*) and I brought over Bratanik, too. We decorated HIS shell (just with stickers for pics for BoyKid. Don't call PETA! Hee hee!) as well as eggs. It was fun. We were VEEEERY creative. We had dinner. We read The Living Christ together. Dad gave Rinny a blessing of safety in preparation for her upcoming business trip to Seattle. Then Dad gave us a random moralistic Lecture involving enduring till the end, toddlers, and stuffed bunnies that sort of just ended with me being really pissed off, which is NOT how I want to feel after hearing a priesthood blessing but, well, that's Dad.

It's a good thing I like dying eggs a lot!




*You are not really a doormat and slime. (it was an analogy ;O) )

Daddy and the Death-Trap

...would be a good band name. I can kind of see them playing Ska, mostly. ANYWAY...

Family Night with my actual FAMILY... yeah, always an adventure. Just good to do on occasion so I can remember why I moved out. Hee hee!

So, the Death Trap...

First of all, I would like to say my Padre really ISN'T an idiot or a bad businessman. He has done very well for himself... supported our family, and not just getting by. We have had nice houses. The parents are maybe not rich, but well-off. We used to have a pool.

I say this not to brag, but to explain that my dad is not ALWAYS an idiot. I guess his awesome awesome real estate skills make his complete LACK of car (and computer) skills stand out more. But sometimes he scares me. It's like with the computers.

Despite being a smart businessman and running his own business, Padre can not seem to grasp that whole paying for quality thing. He would rather pay for a new CRAPPY computer every year to replace the one that breaks. AND HE DOES. Rather than buy a GOOD computer that will actually LAST, he just buys the cheapest eMachine Best Buy carries... every time it breaks. And complains loudly every time.

He is also very big on having "guys" for stuff, as I have mentioned before. And one of his friends is a car dealer and can buy used cars cheap at auction and stuff for him. So he has him do that, and take our family's Durango in trade. So his Car Dealer Guy gets him this Jeep Liberty that my dad likes. Except ON THE TEST DRIVE it is shuddering and shimmying!

So CDG says he will get it fixed and Padre says great and *sort of* buys the thing.

They "get it fixed" and the padres are driving it around town as sort of a trial period. Then Dad calls mom and says that he has run out of gas even though the gas gauge says half-full. Apparently the gas gauge is broken. CDG says he will get that fixed, but Dad has some things to do and they can't get him back the Durango BACK yet. So they fill the tank, and they go about things.

Then later, the car dies AGAIN when MOM is driving. She is going home from water aerobics and sees the gas gauge go UP... to Full. Ummm... that's not normal. Then the car dies, the steering goes out and she is trapped in the middle of State Street.

"[Padre], did you FILL the Jeep after you drove it?"
"I might have. No, probably not, but you should have enough."
"No. I do NOT."

And she had forgotten dry stuff so she was freezing in her wet swimsuit, in the middle of a busy street and really MAD at Padre (and calls me to vent, so I am mad at him, too, and think he is an idiot because even though he has not actually PAID for it, he is still PLANNING to pending "getting it fixed").

So CDG tows the Jeep and the mechanic says "Wow, you didn't try to START this car, did you?"
"Well, yeah, of course." [actually, she told me she tried and tried and tried starting it]
"The [fuel something]'s broken, you are lucky there was so little gas in it. If the tank had been full this car might have exploded!"

So now she can't be mad at Dad for not filling the tank because had he not been such a slacker she may have DIED in the Jeep we now call Daddy's Death Trap.

So now it's been "fixed." Only HOW DO THEY KNOW? HUH?

So last night we went to my work because it was the free-for-the-employee-family-night to see the 3-D movie at the Museum (WAY better in 3-D than regular IMAX, by the way). It is Sea Monsters. But we MISS the beginning because just trying to GO in the Death Trap was a pain! Granted, we didn't blow up, but, like, Mom's seat wouldn't adjust, my belt wouldn't buckle, just annoyances. But when Mom and I complain about this, Padre is like DEFENDING the Death Trap! Like what a deal it is, etc. He takes every gripe PERSONALLY! WAY IRRITATING. So, yeah. Already HATING their new car.

The movie was fun, though. 3-D is cool! Plus it is funny because the main "character" is a Dolichorhynchops. Do you know how that's said? Dolly-CORINNE-Cops! So we kept calling the dolphin thing Rinny and every time they almost got eaten Mom and I would scream "SWIM, CORINNE! AHHHH!" And stuff. It was hilarious. I LOVE my mom!

I am going to start spelling my sister's name, Chorhyn.

What Awesome Ska Band Are You?

You Are: The Suicide Machines! hardcore is your style, or you would be. but you see, you're too big of a pansy and a wimp to be hardcore. so you're ska!
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"Why can't Mormons send flowers?"

Today is the start of General Conference for the Church. And I woke up in time (ooh, long scary story though. Later.) I am not even in bed listening to it on the radio but upstairs, dressed, and watching it on TV and paying attention.

Okay, well, right NOW it is between sessions, so I am cooking crescent rolls (mmmm...) and half-watching and giggling at Benji (the Hunted!) and his sophisticated thought processes (compared to the idiocy of the majority of the few humans in the show) with The Roomie.

Crap.

I burned them.

Anyway, so this morning I was supposed to go to work... EARLY... to do this last big JMG harvest.

When I was dragging myself out of bed I texted my sister-boss a few times asking "are we still doing this thing?" because 1. it was cold 2. I was exhausted 3. I was hurting a lot
...but got no answer so assumed it was. I put on my jacket for the first time this year and drove out to Thanksgiving Point. But when I arrived, NOBODY was there.

And it was snowing... raining... sleeting... hailing... and I kept trying to call Rinny with no answer. I was going to leave, assuming it had been changed or *I* was wrong, but was waiting just a few minutes to see if she'd call back. To kill time I spun donuts (mmm... donuts...) in the parking lot behind the dinosaur museum. The lot was crazy slick with the hail on the sleet like little marbles in slime.

I thought I heard some construction equipment crunching something... but other than that, nobody I knew came by and I decided to leave.

But when I got to the other side of the museum I saw it was not construction.

There was a car laying there, upside-down in front of it. Having slipped off the slime and marble freeway and flipping onto the the little frontage road at work. The lights were still on. There were no police or ambulance. I felt so sick. A man pulled up behind them before I got across the street, then I was behind him. I asked if anyone had been called. He said yes, the guy (IN THE CAR) had run in to the museum to call an AMBULANCE (meaning there was someone else in there? I don't know.). I asked what I could do, what I should do. He said nothing, and that he would handle it. I pulled over to the side to be out of the way, but was having a major panic attack. THAT was when Rinny called back. She thought *I* had been in the accident and kept trying to say she'd come get me. I explained, but not well... I kept almost throwing up. I was very freaked out and not handling things well. But I stayed till the police and ambulance got there... and could calm down some myself... then drove VERY carefully home, grateful for 4-wheel drive.

But once home I watched Conference which was good. Elder Eyring is the new 2nd Counselor and Elder Cook(?) is the new 12.

Seeing Elder Wirthlin, I think it was? that was so shaky and so so so... old... made me want to cry though.

But still, yeah, good start to the Conference. Granted, I would have to re-watch... or read excerpts (which I will)... to tell you what the heck I learned from it (partially because my unfocused brain... partially because the dogs and birds were being hilariously distracting and kept making The Roomie and I laugh), but over all it was good.

Last night was good, too, for a change. Work was NOT so good. The field trip kids were funny, of course, but I was hurting the whole time and I am still feeling rather unhinged and unstable and... well, started crying when Grandma Betty said I miscounted cups for ice cream for one class. Yeah, THAT'S healthy. *rolls eyes* That's what this whole week has like. But LAST night was good.

I got to just chill with the girls, CC and Stewbert. We talked about dumb things, cruised the mall a little, spent a lot of money at Archiver's (I spent a ton. But I have a plan for a little, CUTE, scrapbook of the suggies. hee hee!), and finished up with Sonic.

I admit my foot, though it was wrapped (and heavily medicated) the whole night hated me today, but still glad I got to play.

Happy Thoughts

Sometimes the oddest things make me happy. Like Spam. And my roomie. Okay, so in a perfect world a roommate shouldn't be that shocking of a good thing, but I have had a rather patchy history with roomies. So it is fun to live with a good one. Especially in The Ark when so much of our energies are focused on animal rescue.

But first, Spam. Me and my mom were just talking about how sometimes it is funny when they clearly don't speak English so well and say things like "we have yes girls is hottest girls if you" but this one takes the cake for lack of just a letter E.

SUBJECT: The sexist singles want to date you.

So, will he insist my place is in the kitchen? Will he call me woman and make me cook? HEE HEE HEE! That has just been making me giggle all morning.

On to the Roomie and our pet saving adventures. A couple weeks ago or so there were 3 friendly but rambunctious strays in our neighborhood, basically turning into a rather disruptive PACK of dogs. They liked our dogs a lot and since they could clear our fence made it very hard to take the girls OUT to even go potty. They were a German Shepherd, a Vizsla, and something else. All nice, but all LARGE and rowdy and though not mean, not a one had a collar or had eaten in some time. The Roomie finally actually called animal control.

To be honest, I didn't know we DID that at our house since we usually placed so many ourselves, but these were BIG dogs and not the type that would be coming into OUR condo with welcome arms. I thought that was the end of that. Only here is the thing. The Roomie has been VISITING the dogs, and checking if they are being claimed or adopted and as the time is approaching, well, she has fallen in love with the Vizsla. She told me yesterday that we have to get her OUT of there, now that we put her in. She is going to pay for it, but as she has 2 dogs registered, she can not. SO if she is still there tomorrow (Thursday) *I* will be "adopting" this big hunting dog (for her) and we are taking her to a home she has lined up with her relative.

Basically a "we put her in there... now we have to get her out!"

I just think that is both awesome... AND hilarious... and I will own a dog of my OWN... for 2 days before she is transported to her REAL home. YAY! What's a good Hungarian name? She is a Hungarian Vizsla. Otherwise I think I will call her Amber.

It is so nice to live with some one that is MORE of an activist than me! It's like getting to follow around Jane Goodall!

In other news, the red show barn is locked.
Rinny is not here and thus neither is her magnetic key card thingy.
I do not really want to walk to Farm Country to potty.
So instead I am writing as a break in hopes that maybe my urge to pee will just be re-absorbed?
Maybe?

So Yeah, I am at work taking a break from the frustration that is Finding Reputable Suppliers of Strange Supplies. So far I am HOPING I can get our tadpoles from Aquatic Dragon, as well as a few new Papyrus plants for our pond as ours do NOT seem very PAPYRUS-Y.

And if I can convince Live Monarch that I AM a proponent of Milkweed and encourage all I know to plant it (Hey, you guys, seriously PLANT SOME MILKWEED!!!!!!!) they MIGHT sell us caterpillars at a reasonable rate.

Aaaaaaand.... I have to Pee.

Now that THAT is done it is back to being frustrated at the lack of sources for tadpoles and caterpillars. (Aquatic Dragon seems to be down.) BLEH.

~~~~~~~~~~~

SO, guess who is NOT DYING (HOW? HOW is that possible?) and running for MAYOR in Huntington? My friend BIG CADE!!! AND he is not so big! He has lost 100 pounds in 3 months! Also it was good to hear from her him and Tiff how the whole thing with the mine has been with them. The media gets it so weird and I just wanted to know the real story, you know?

Awww! I have missed Tiff and Cade! I should call her. We should play.

But I am just so amazed with the blessings that have happened to Cade. A few months ago he was dying... DYING of a brain tumor.

I wonder what other miracles will happen for my friends. Like Amy and Dave. I put their names in the Temple, but keep praying for them.

Things ARE improving. Can you believe it? He is starting to TALK... just barely, but STILL.

AND...

WALK.

Wow. Slow going. But Miracles sure DO happen.

Got the Blues?

I am feeling a little better today than yesterday. That's, well, improvement. I am still inexplicably crampy and cry at the drop of a hat... but not so many hats are dropped when I don't have work, I suppose. To think, I almost got trapped into working a Birthday Party today. Good thing I decided I am NOT doing those anymore because I was asked when I WASN'T in such a horrible mood and thus almost said yes. (see kids, that is why you decide to "just say no" long before the situation arises! Be it drugs, sex... or birthday parties...)

The Roomie and I babysat one of her nieces this weekend. Because we can't legally have the Mini-Roomie yet, but her sister who is fostering her is so stressed out, she has been randomly taking one of her OWN kids at a time. We had Miss Corduroy staying for about a week, today we had Tinkerbelle, I *think* she is still upstairs in The Roomie's other room (we each have 2. My other is the sugar babies' room. Her's she uses for when she does respite care with J, a guest room, and, if she gets approval, the Mini-Roomie. For now it is the "Random Child in Our Care" room.) because I didn't hear her parents come get her.

Tinkerbelle LOVED all the animals, though. She sang to the Parrots... made Buddy sing and McKenzie dance... and played with Boo and Tortuga, who love attention. But she never did get to see the gliders since they were not to keen to wake up when she came in and their grumpy crabbing scared her. Finally, before her bed time, I went in with her and chewed out Nani (the only one actually crabbing... she's such a brat!) and let her pet Lilo and feed her a Yoggies which both Tinkerbelle and Lilo REALLY enjoyed. It was so cute.

I love my babies!

However, they are certainly a handful. Especially when I am spacey.

I had a very bad headache around 6 and decided I could lay down just a LITTLE. Set my FlyLady timer for 20 minutes. I slept through it (I don't know how. It sounds like a fire alarm) and woke up from a very vivid dream to find it was almost midnight. Now, naps are ALWAYS against the rules for insomnia. But naps that close to bed are TERRIBLE. So, yes, it is now 2 am and I am super awake. ANYWAY, also during that time, I just realized a few minutes ago, I had left the cage open. I was chatting with CC and heard Lilo barking at me to come play with her. I wasn't GOING to... I had meant to just feed them and go to bed... but when I went in the room I realized she wasn't barking from inside the cage. The door to the room was open, so I am very grateful they like their room so much (or were just too lazy to go further) that they hadn't left the glider room, but I had a heck of a time convincing Nani back into the cage. Lilo came to me first for some cuddles and went right in after letting her wrestle my fingers a bit. Heber was finally convinced to dash in for some food. But Epiphany had to be CAUGHT.

(Oh, so, yeah, CC, that's where I went. Sorry for not saying something. I really thought I'd be right back.)

Speaking of FlyLady (yes I did. The TIMER.), I DID do some productive stuff today. I cleaned my room rather well. I "released" a bag full of clothes I don't wear that are now ready to DI. And I made a dent in the cleaning of my bathroom. (by the way, something we learned from Tinkerbelle today. You know those tablets that turn your water blue every time you flush to keep them clean? They really freak 3 year olds out. She didn't want to use the potty because "somebody already blued in there!" and kept flushing it. It was hilarious.''

Kids really are randomly cool. When I don't hate them.

Yes, I am a little afraid to be a mom someday. My fickleness towards children scares me. Mom and I were talking about that yesterday. Just your basic reminder that "Someday, though, you DO want NON-furry kids too, though... right?" To which I said "this has been a very bad day at day camp, therefore I would not recommend asking that right now. Do you want pictures of my gliders for your wallet."
"No."
"Okay."

Because, strangley, I *always* like my sugar babies.

No, that isn't true. Once I didn't. It wasn't their fault. They are just doing what they do... they are Animals. And Epiphany is a beautiful animal... but a very sucky mother. But when Nani killed Diego, her first baby and I saw it. I tried to love them, but I couldn't. It took a long time before I could do more than just feed them. I had so many nightmares. It was just... awful. I got Heber fixed after that. I never wanted to deal with that again. Plicethenese was an after neuter surprise, but yeah. My little glider colony and I are NOT cut out to be breeders!

And, as Ames is one of the main people who has got me through ever glider crisis I have faced, now is as good a time for any for an update. Unfortunately, there is nothing much new to say. I haven't heard anything since Pioneer Day. It looks like they may be putting Dave in a nursing home because his body is getting healthier (but he is still, mentally, unresponsive), and the hospital costs too much. Please continue to keep my friend and her hubby in your prayers.

Or, if you have, like, extra money laying around, then hey, that would be cool, too.

I will probably write more tomorrow (I mean, you know, chances are. I WRITE ALATIME!) but I should TRIE to go to bed though I think it's pointless. It is, at least, COOLER in my room.

And I mean temperature. I am sweating my head off. Though my room IS pretty "cool" at that! Hee hee hee!

p.s. Not flattering, but accurate....

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"Ice Capades. I know a guy." Sunday Prop Fest

I have the most tremendously talented friends. Seriously.

I like to think I'm cool by association.

Case in point, Bucksome/Bethany who was cool in high school AND now one of my greatest friends from LinkUp. She is not only gorgeous... she is gonna be FAMOUS. Have you HEARD her sing? If you haven't, well, NOW YOU CAN! BUY HER SONGS!!!!

AND if you need a graphic artist... a web diva... wedding invitations... or interior design, CC is your woman. SERIOUSLY. Multi-talented.

I am feeling a little like my Padre. Like his "guy" arsenal. Like when he talks about "my car guy" or "my coin guy" or I am feeling a little like my Padre. Like his "guy" arsenal. Like when he talks about "my car guy" or "my coin guy" or "Radiology guy."

"Oh, yeah... you need someone to sing like an angel? I know a 'Guy.'" *snort*

And I could go on. Thai... not just a Baby Shower Planner extraordinaire, she is an expert Massage Therapist.

I am sure there are others, too (and at least a page of various animal rescuers. hee hee hee!) because I got CONNECTIONS, baby! Ha!

And if you are thinking "hmmm, I have some money that I don't KNOW what to do with but want to put it to good use" I got a solution for THAT, too. ;O) Prayers, too.

p.s. I still *heart* Threadless.

5 minutes till the last Harry Potter comes out... debating going to at least WALMART to get it... RIGHT NOW

Buddy, the Roomie's Senegal is jabbering away upstairs! I don't understand everything but he is DEFINITELY talking. He doesn't like to talk when people are IN the room. Sort of like the "Hello my Baby, Hello my Honey" frog. The Roomie decided she would make a big long CD of Victor and other CeleBirdies that our critters seem to LOVE so much and play it a few hours a day while we are gone. Well, it seems to be working because he sure is CHATTY right now!

Silly thing. Animals make me happy.

Which reminds me, Wednesday, my mom called and said "I just wanted you to know that life DOES go on." I asked what she meant. She said that we had a new deer family frequenting the yard at the Padres... another doe (healthy) and 2 very cute (also very healthy THANK GOODNESS) twin fawns. We are calling the mama Anastasia and the twins Hope and Faith even though we don't know the genders. They are cuties, and barring any malevolent neighbors with poisons, they seem to be giving our family at least a little hope for the future.

Sometimes you have to take hope from weird places. Because it seems a little hard to come by in other locations. Yesterday I went to the hospital for an MRI. 2 reasons. One is that Dr. Princess says my dumb Pituitary doesn't work right so they are wondering if I have a tumor there. The other is that I am supposed to have another MRI to make sure that the lesions in my brain have not gotten bigger or that I have more or anything. I was supposed to do that in, like a few months. But we finally got them to combine the 2 because the next one won't be covered by my insurance. And MRIs are REALLY expensive. And they are looking the SAME PLACE.

So we will see. I think if it were a tumor they would have seen it before now. But maybe not. What do I know? But I have REALLY lost faith in my doctors. Mostly because I have really stupid ones. Seriously.

Dr. Princess is leaving the practice anyway. But his office people are being jerks about even switching to his partner. But after I lose my insurance, since it won't matter, I may go somewhere else anyway. I am going to be spending an arm and a leg wherever. I may as well get a competent doctor out of it. I just don't know. I am just feeling like crying right now.

I want to be NORMAL. I am tired of Depression. I am tired of Diabetes. I am tired of headaches. I am tired of not being... well, and who knows if this is even truly medical or if I am just a messed up tomboy... but not being as "turned on" as I "should" be? I don't know. I am tired of being myself somedays. And I don't even know who that is. What part of "who I am" is ME UNDER MEDICATED and what part of me is just ME. I mean, some stuff I am not anxious to "normalize"... I sure don't mind certain parts of me being "weird." I am REALLY okay with no periods. And I love not having to shave my legs.

But... Normal. HEALTHY. The unattainable. The Holy Grail. SIGH.

ANYWAY, LIFE. BLERGH.

But the sad thing is that for all my complaining and worrying about myself, I am so so so much better off than some of my friends. Remember when I wrote about Amy and Dave? It turns out what had happened was that his car was totaled by a drunk driver. And it's been almost a month. And Dave is still unresponsive in the hospital. He opens his eyes sometimes. But there is nothing there yet. I hardly get to hear FROM Ames right now (understandable) but get updates from our friend Megi on The Alley or this site set up to try and get them some help. You guys, I am SO scared he is going to die. Please continue to keep the Osadchuks in your prayers if you would.

Dave was JUST layed off right before all this... I just can not imagine having to deal with all of these trials. My poor Amy!

In other (sad) news, Fresno called almost CRYING. A final interview for that job he wanted did NOT go well. The guy was a total French shower to him. It was terrible. The thing is, okay, to be honest, *I* think at least he saw the kind of jerks he could be working with and might be saved the trouble. But to him it is just one more dream dashed, you know? And since he really REALLY wanted to do it, I can be nothing but just supportive and it is just silly and sad and he's just miserable and I don't know how to help him. Because I really can't. I just want him to be happy.

I want him to have a FUN job! A job he loves. SELFISHLY, I want that job to be closer to me. But regardless I want him to like his job, whatever it is.

I like that boy. <3 style="font-weight: bold;">Okay, before I end I should AT LEAST say some happy thoughts:

*Last night I *guilt* blew off a friend's sister's wedding and went to a movie (HARRY POTTER!) AND out for Pancakes with CC!
TOTALLY worth it.

*I have no work because of the Utah County Fair! YAY!

*Today after water aerobics me and Mom decided to check if that little Brazilian dinner in Provo, Bona Brazil had Pão de Queijo... those cheese rolls that are so stinking ADDICTING and are really, like my favorite food. Yep, even more than popcorn. THEY DO. BIG ONES. Big ones you can buy individually for a buck 30 which considering some days I feel like buying a 20 dollar meal at Tucanos or Rodizio just so they will bring me the rolls as a side is quite a deal! hee hee hee!

Mmmmm... I want more.

I wonder how late they are open?

(Brazilian Cheese Rolls... Harry Potter... tempting, tempting! Perhaps that AND a bath! Hee hee!)


p.s. just for fun... yup. The WHOLE thing...

Prayers and Rants (a volatile combo, probably...)

I am having a hard time because I want to post the silly stuff, the family stuff. But I am more than a little preoccupied. So first off let me ask you to please keep my friend Amy and her husband Dave in your prayers. Some of you have heard me talk about Ames before. She is basically my sugar glider MENTOR. She and Meg (one of my OTHER best online friends) run my suggie home online, the Sugar Glider Alley and I love her dearly. She is truly a FRIEND, not just "some girl I know online." Amy is wonderful and an inspiration and caring and a tremendous Christian and a great human being.

Also, by the way, we have discussed a little about the church. Some of her best friends are LDS and she wrote me on my mission. And I could totally see that, well, turning into something maybe someday. But even if it never DID it wouldn't matter... she really is one of those amazing true followers of Christ, no matter the faith. Anyway, not the point...

This weekend her hubby Dave was in a really horrific accident while talking to Amy on the cell. She heard the crash, heard him scream. When she wrote she was on her way to the hospital and didn't even know for sure what happened yet. Just that they had to cut open the car and helicopter him out and that he was in a hospital in Indiana that was still over an hour away from where she was when she was writing. And that she didn't know when she's be back online to update (understandably so!), she had just left the gliders with as much dry food as she could and left.

All she has asked for is prayers. I am going to put their names in the Temple, too. But, yeah, I am sure extra prayers, even if they are from a friend of a friend, well, they would help? So, please... Pray for Dave and Amy. Because I can't think of anything else to do. <:"O(

SIGH.

So, ummm... the family thing was actually FUN. Even amid the dysfunctionality.


Let me just rant for a moment about this. I have mentioned before that both sides of my family has SERIOUS issues. Mom's side ostracizes my awesome, but lesbian, aunt Shy and her girlfriend from all events but invites evil Uncle Slime the horrible husband of Mom's spineless, battered-wife sister, Aunt Doormat. Padre's side ALL sided with the jerky brother Uncle Rude when he and Nurse Popcorn FINALLY divorced after YEARS of verbal abuse. Nurse Popcorn stayed and stayed and stayed with Uncle Rude and kept encouraging him to take his meds as he (like the MAJORITY of both sides of my fam) is mentally ill, but when he was refusing and was getting MEANER, even her BISHOP encouraged her to divorce him. They FINALLY did and the situation was SO bad you would have thought that the family would have said "it's about time, we completley understand" but NO everyone in the family, even though they all talked about how horrible Uncle Rude was suddenly blamed Nurse Popcorn for EVERYTHING and then started disowning OUR immediate fam (and one other family, the Idaho Js)... not because we hated Rude (because we were pretty NICE, really) but because we DIDN'T suddenly hate Nurse Popcorn! AND that we didn't HATE RUDE AND POPCORN'S KIDS (who are some of our best friends in the family having grown up together and spent every summer together) because THEY didn't HATE THEIR MOTHER!!!!!! FREAKING RETARDED.

HOWEVER, Mom's side is, surprisingly getting better, though. But this family thing activity proved to me that Padre's ISN'T. Because we get to the church and everyone is sitting squished together... leaving Squall, one of Rude and Popcorn's kids, and her 2 adorable kiddlets ALL alone on a bench. Sarsa (her sister) hadn't even come, but Squall HAD tried. It was like she had the PLAGUE. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!

So, my cousin, just a few years older than me was sitting there all by herself (she was married to this guy, G, from Mexico. He seemed awesome. Then a couple years ago he turned totally abusive. She had to run away and was even in a shelter awhile with the kiddlets. YIKES!It has been CRAZY. (p.s. not that anyone supported her since, you know, she still didn't hate her mother)), nobody was even TALKING to her! (later the kids of the Idaho J's did, but that's it) It PISSED ME OFF. I got up during a hymn and sat with her. Which was super fun! We haven't played much since she got married to G. And her daughters were HILARIOUS. They had that Color Wonder paper and markers that just color on paper (not pews or laps) and JanBrady, age 5, was drawing me things like

"this is a mommy dog and this is her puppy. They are riding a scooter. Here are their knee-pads. They each have to have 4 because dogs have 4 knees. The baby puppy has to wear a helmet. The mommy doesn't because she is a grown up and they aren't the law and she only has one. But BOTH of them have a handle. But (she giggles) the handle for the baby doesn't even TURN the scooter, she just THINKS it does."

AWESOME!

And this is clearly a Mommy sheep and a little girl sheep and a Mommy pony and a baby girl pony (though the first she drew was the baby pony and I was thinking she was REALLY good and was drawing a warthog.) and a cow. The cow is a little creepy. Also...

"The baby pony has orange eyes because the mommy has yellow eyes and the daddy has red eyes but I am not drawing a daddy, okay?"

Me and Squall are planning to go out to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix together, we decided. And to hang out more. Because she is bored and I forgot how funny she is. Plus also, her kids crack me up.

Anyway, Uncle Bob and Aunt Maralyn have been serving missions all this time and have MOSTLY missed the drama (though they still side with Rude, mostly) and so me and Squall mostly enjoyed the talks... or at least I enjoyed playing with the kiddlets DURING the talks... and then we went back to their house and talked to their neurotic conure, Tee (he is bald since the first mission) and played with kids (who DO talk to you regardless) and ate VERY good cookies. Me, Rinny, Mom, Cynthia & Leslie (our youngest cousins), Squall and her girls, and couple other little cousin's children all sat together away and had a great time by ourselves. We talked about boys (as Squall is FROM Fresno, umm, yeah) and movies and work. It was fun! SO SUCK ON THAT, IDIOT FAMILY! And we are TOTALLY hanging out more. Yeah!

I have to say though, that I am glad I am in one of the 2 families in the extended families does NOT hate Popcorn. Because she is cool. And so are her kids. SO THERE!

Also, guess what... I LIKE my Aunt Popcorn, who is super intelligent and a nurse and cool...

AND if *I* were her I would have divorced Uncle Rude, like, 30 years earlier than she did. GEEZ.

But I have a MILLION times more respect for her and her decision than Aunt Doormat who Uncle Slime cheated on... and she forgave him. And he did it again... and she forgave him... etc. Plus I kind of believe he may be a pedophile, though that is more from a creepy feeling I get when I see him around kids AND because of other things "in his past" that our family just does not talk about because that is how they deal with things... pretend everything is, and always has been, PERFECT.

ANYWAY, sorry for the family rant. Seriously, for all the complaining I do about arguing with my Padre or my sister being such a germaphobe, sometimes I have to step back and think I am pretty dang blessed to be in as NORMAL of a family as I am, considering what we COULD be.

Of course, on both sides, the pendulum swings pretty far BOTH ways... besides the abusive husbands, closed-minded busybodies, and various other "issues" we also have quite a few Mission Presidents, heroes, and kind hearts who serve everyone they can...

So I guess our family tree has a generous mix... I just hope not to be one of the bad nuts!

OH! But JanBrady was cracking me up while we ate too. She saw one of those little white butterflies and told us all to look at it. Rinny said "Oh! Why don't you go catch it?"
JanBrady said "No. I think somebody should PHOTOGRAPH it." which I LOVED so I handed her my camera and told her to go ahead. She took pictures for about 15 minutes and said "you can delete them all. She was too fast!" There were about 10 pictures of empty grass. However a little while later she was very excited to show me a small centipede on her finger. "Don't you think we should photograph it? It's the smallest one I have ever seen!" What a sweet little naturalist! Hee hee hee!

On the way home, Fresno called and my family got to wonder what the heck I was talking about when the one side of the conversation involved the name of He-Man's cat when he was still cowardly (Cringer)... which he confirmed in PRIESTHOOD today. Because, you know, they learn important stuff there. hee hee hee hee!

p.s. back to the kid thing.... wanna hear something pretty BIG? When I got home the Roomie asked what I thought about her deciding to have a foster kid. As in a HUMAN one. She has been getting a really strong impression about it. I told her that, honestly, I think that could be pretty GREAT. And I do. I don't know why. You'd think that would sound like a HORRIBLE thing to possibly add to my life. But, I dunno, if it ends up happening I think it would be a really GOOD thing. Is that weird? I mean, it wouldn't really be ME... but... yeah, it just sounded really right when she said it. So, hey, I will let you know if I will be getting a mini-roomie anytime soon. Wacky, eh?

Wo unto the liar, for he shall be thrust down to hell

Ooooh SO, guess who I got a call from this morning? Some chick calling on behalf of Soft Tissue Injury Lady. Oh and guess what STILady is claiming now? Neck injury, back injury, AND (this is the winner) I TOTALED THE BACK OF HER CAR!!!!!

Now, what I want to know is did she actually go out and back into something to do this or is she just hoping nobody will LOOK at her car and just take her word that there is damage?!?! There was nothing wrong on the car! I don't believe she was HURT either, but as an expert in PAIN, well, I know you can't tell someone they don't hurt. But you CAN tell someone they are full of crap that you damaged their car when you didn't. And you looked and saw you didn't. And a cop came over and said you didn't. And the actual owner of the car, the lying STIB***h, herself, even said "well, our cars are fine, but I have a soft tissue injury coming, I can tell you right now!"

Well, my dad's insurance/lawyer guy listened to me and even LAUGHED when I told him the facts and said not to worry that she had no case whatsoever. Good. Fine. Great.

I know it doesn't matter maybe, if I don't have to pay. Or maybe just State Farm will pay. But it is a matter of principle and it ROYALLY PISSES ME OFF!!!! When people cheat insurance it is 1. DISHONEST and 2. raises rates and hurts me in the long run. So don't tell me it hurts nobody but a faceless corporation. Companies are MADE on the backs of workers and customers... both who have faces. Sorry I am just so mad. I am so mad that she is lying! Accusing me of doing something I did not do. I HATE BEING LIED TO OR LIED ABOUT. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Anyway, yeah. Now I want cookies. Chocolate chip. What do I have that is similar?

Hmmm... closest thing I have is sugar free fat free chocolate pudding. huh. Yeah, good thing for my weight loss plans that it is so blasted COLD out there or I would so buy pre-made cookie dough at Smith's and eat it raw RIGHT NOW. The pudding is sure NOT cutting it. Dumb cold. Dumb slippery snow. Dumb pudding. Dumb non-existent chocolate chip cookies!

Speaking of cookies, BoyKid's job as a Girl Scout? Well, the poor kid has been working like crazy, sales calls all the time. Only here's the thing, the Boss Lady apologized that she was not yet able to PAY them. Yeah. Does THAT sound like good business to YOU? I mean, if you are going in together to start a business, sure... but as a regular employee.... well, you have the right to expect that your contract stating you'll be paid bi-weekly means that, well, every other week you should get a PAY CHECK. So, yeah, he is just hoping he GETS paid for his job before he quits to go on the mission. Poor kiddlet.

I still want cookies. Goodnight.

I'm a cartoon. I'm a robot. I'm clearly watching too much television.

Last night I dreamed that Fresno was Batman. And *I* was Poison Ivy... the one from the CARTOON. And, what's more, we were married (I know, I should have been Catwoman, then. I didn't CHOOSE.) And Jeeves from Jeeves and Wooster was Alfred. (Clearly I watch PBS too much.) The only dumb thing about the dream was that was pretty much IT. We never actually DID anything, had any adventures... the dream was just that we WERE who we were and we were just standing around in the Bat Cave and we were cartoons, except Jeeves/Alfred who was a real person and who was serving drinks. Nothing really happened. It was a comparatively boring dream. But, still funny.

Anyway, this weekend was sucky beyond all reason (car wreck, headache x50, being searched at Wal-Mart because they thought I stole something (I didn't), and Boo Bonic, the gerbil, escaped today and so I had to chase her down. (I *did* catch her and she is grounded! Little brat.))

I did manage to get SOMETHING accomplished, at least. For one, I was birdie-sitting McKenzie the Parrot and she didn't ever decide to attack me. With her, that's progress. She is a good bird, just... moody and unpredictable. Sort of like me, in bird-form. Also, I had fun talking to Fresno on the phone. The bank did not take his offer for the house, but he did not counter because he said he didn't feel right about it. I think that was smart. I need to not worry about him so much... he is intelligent and mature. He is not going to do anything impulsive just because of me... things will work out for him because he will MAKE them work. I am just too used to surrounding myself with Lost Boys and me being Wendy. But Fresno knows what he is doing... so I need to learn to make my brain less bossy and stressy. Anyway, the other major accomplishment is I made an EXCELLENT Control Journal. FlyLady emphasizes "progress not perfection!" which is true and good! BUT I have been having a hard time because my Control Journal isn't how I want it! Ha! Yes, I know. Stupid. Anyway, CRISIS PASSED. I made a PERFECT Control Journal! Neener neener! Anyway, so that is what I did this weekend. (Sort of like when you're report is crap, but dang it you have the BEST folder to put in. Yeah, that's me. I was in an avoidance mode. Shaddup.) Actually, it is still not DONE, but I STARTED the perfect Control Journal. Control of my Life... HERE I COME!!!

Another dream I had last night was that all of my mail was being forwarded to the Padres'. I was so mad because my dad was throwing it all AWAY! He threw away my hilarious shirts and I was yelling at him. This morning I thought it was true and I was so ticked... but realized the shirts had not come yet.

Another dream I had was about my headache. I dreamed that it had been 10 years and they were still doing nerve block injections. I was crying and asking why I couldn't be normal. The doctor said it was because of the lesions on my brain [very possible] and also because I was a robot [because my dream couldn't be NORMAL.]. I was really mad and said that was crap because if I was a robot I couldn't cry, I would short out. He said "no, that's a common misconception. Most parts are actually silicon-based. Crying is perfectly normal." I was still so angry because 10 YEARS?! I don't want to still be dealing with this then.

I also don't want to find out I am a robot. Because really now, if I am a robot couldn't I get a less defective model NOW?! I have some serious issues with my tech support. Grrrr.

So there are shows I should not watch, at least not while fighting my depression. I think a "Without a Trace" about a little boy who eventually tries to kill himself... one of those I SHOULD NOT WATCH. Some things just feel... too... real. Though things are BETTER right now than they have been. Prayer... friends... narcotics... good things. This show... not good. Well, GOOD, like, yeah. Good show. BAD for me. Changing the channel. Granted if I was REALLY being good I would just turn the TV OFF and go to bed, but I still have a hard time GOING to bed knowing that it will be hours before I fall asleep. BOOOOOORING.

Today has sucked so bad I just needed Beer...

...battered shrimp! And they were delicious. Heh! YUMMY, but bad for me.

Seriously, today... holy crap. Right now I am pretending today just never HAPPENED. Or that only the good exercise I did happened. (I did at least 100 crunches... and got 100 steps in on my pedometer at Wal-Mart... besides regular swimming.) But in truth what happened was this:

On my way to physical therapy I rear-ended another car at a light! In front of a cop! Okay, actually we barely tapped bumpers but because I am just so super duper lucky the person I barely tapped jumped out of the car screaming, I kid you not, "Oh, this is going to be a soft tissue injury, I can tell right now! I have been rear ended before and it feels just like this, it is coming, there is NO question!"

There was no marks on our cars (that is to say, no marks on HER car, no NEW mark on my ugly little jeep.). I gave her my information and insurance card info, she refused to give me hers... whatever. The cop we waved over looked at the cars and just eventually walked off. Didn't give me a warning even, no ticket for sure, but the lady claimed I was still getting sued... however, chances are if the cop who SAW it happen knew it wasn't bad, looked at the car and still didn't give me a ticket it would be hard for her to sue. Not that I doubt she will try. It made it sound like she has done so in the past.

WHATFREAKINGEVER.

Yeah, I felt like an idiot but it really was an ACCIDENT. As in, I didn't slow down fast enough for as icy as that stop still was. ALMOST, but not quite. And I hit her car. And if the same had happened to me I would have been scared and they would have said I am so sorry and we wouldn't have even GOT the police because there was nothing wrong. But it wasn't me in THAT car, I was in the other car... it was my fault, and she wants money. I don't know if she'll get it, but whatever. This much I know: 1. Despite what CC may think of my driving ;OP I have never got a "moving violation" ticket (just one for having a light out I didn't know about). 2. I have never claimed an accident in my insurance. I have had a car accident but we just figured it out with the girl and me. The only other one was when I hit a deer one Valentine's day. THAT was AWFUL. Oh my gosh. Mali and Megan and BoyKid were there. Bad bad experience. (Even though funny BoyKid quotes came out of it.) Ugh.

Other than that, it is just a HORRIBLE headache day. Nothing is touching it today, I probably shouldn't have driven myself to therapy and the store anyway, to be honest. And now I feel like crap. I don't like it when I have to take heavy stuff for it, like Loritab or Robaxin. BLEH. THEY make me feel bad in their own way, too. But it looks like I will be needing one tonight.

PAIN SUCKS.