Why I wear a children's seal necklace, Forgotten Carols, & puppy love: Perhaps my only post of 2013 PART 1

It's been a really long time since I have blogged. (Actually I think I wrote once this summer, but never
 published it. Maybe I will do that later.) Even though writing helps me cope, is truly a form of therapy, these past months (or maybe years) of my life have just been so difficult that it seemed too much to write.  Serious depression, to the point of being suicidal. I am going to skip most of that stuff, to be honest. It still hurts a lot, and I can't say I'm "out of the woods" as they say. But I have a lot of help from family, a few doctors,... and 4 legged family, too. And sometimes puppies *are* better than Prozac.

I had lost my little boy, my suggie Heber, the year before, when I brought home my little Tess LaRue, a baby pygmy hedgehog, and then a few months later, rescued another hedgie, a beautiful white older lady, Quillian Jackson Braun. It was only about a year after I got Tess that Quillian died, probably of old age, but I was sent spiraling. Especially since only months after, Tess was diagnosed with a very severe ocular tumor and the choice was made to pay all I could but give her up to the vet (my exotic pet teaches at the vet program I was in) with the permission to try a risky surgery as her only chance. So I said good bye, lost her... so she might have a chance at life, no matter how small.

[update: I completely assumed she had died mid-operation as was predicted. Assumed it, actually until THIS WEEK. This week I ran into one of the amazing vet techs at our exotics office (Riverwoods, fyi. I can't recommend them higher if you are in the Orem/Provo area and have difficult cases with exotic pets. NOT to be confused with Ribbonwood, who was my dog Cassie's back in the day, who I can not recommend LOWER. Very NICE man, but seriously one of the worst vets I have ever dealt with.) who also teaches vet tech at Broadview along with Dr. Dobson. We talked about my new furrbaby who was there with me (MATL), and then she told me that Tess LaRue had not only survived but was doing well, though blind, with another blind hedge as a buddy! She was very happy and they got along very well together and adapted very well to their limitations. It made me so grateful to hear! I mean, part of me also just MISSED her and wished she was doing well with ME... but whatever it takes to make her happy, I am glad I could do. I love that spikey little sweetheart!].

I was missing them very much and that hedgie-shaped hole in my heart, combined with the Heber-shaped one, well, I wasn't handling it well. Especially because my own life and health were getting a lot worse, too. My daily fibro pain is getting so severe and pills don't seem to do that much for me. And Gastroparesis for me means most days a meal is gluten-free rolls with either almond milk or coconut water (I like all 3, but it gets boring. Also, not awesome when it is that plus a LITERAL handful of pills to down each meal.).

Then, it was this summer and I started to have more trouble breathing. I'd been put on a CPAP machine to get air, but I needed to cue it a LOT more than I was. Like every night. And lay down and take "air naps" during the day. I hate it and it makes me feel like Bane. And then I found Nani, my beautiful special girl, Epiphany Jo, dead. Lilo was curled around her in the pouch and didn't want me to take her out. I absolutely lost it. I have been expecting to lose Nani in the next couple years, not because 9 is so old, but because she was not well, and hasn't been for some time. She had a stroke a few years ago, and after that she regularly had small seizures that left her blind and confused at times. She coped well, with the help of Heber when he was alive, especially, but Lilo as well. She was my first glider (though not my oldest, as Heber was a rescue and adopted as an adult). She was grumpy and moody, an unpredictable brat... but I loved her very very much. 9 years is a long time to have someone in your life and then to... not. But the absolutle worst part of it was Lilo. For Lilo to be alone, to see her in the sleeping pouch snuggled next to her Nani, not willing to leave her side... I could not handle it. My heart felt broken beyond repair. I thought my life was about as low as it could be, and I will be honest here. There were a few days I kept living only because I was worried Lilo wouldn't be taken care of right after I was gone.

And then, out of the blue, Lilo had a lump.

Even my parents anniversary makes me think of pets

Today was good except for a few painful things... my head, as always, hurt and my stupid tooth in front is crumbling like it's made of clay.  And I hurt my shoulder on Christmas in a ROCKING CHAIR. How lame is that?

BUT Mom drove m,e around to do errands and it was good to get things DONE. I really appreciate her, even though sometimes I am not sure who is a scarier driver, her with her stroke or me with my head. But anyway we got lights and timers for all the reptiles, some chewy treats for Fable, and mailed off the things I sold on eBay. One of those things was the too fancy Prada bag Fresno bought me when we were dating. Good to have money instead of a purse I am not using.  I am using it to buy vitamins for the gliders.  And a new foraging toy.

I might have enough left over to get a book or something (I only got 66 for it), but yes, pretty much all my spare money goes to my pets.  And I am okay with that.  It makes me happy to see them happy and healthy.  I love my babies, including the scaley ones.

Today is my parents 32nd wedding anniversary.  Padre got mom orchids, like growing in a pot. They made ME want an Orchid Mantis.  Someday I will have one. They are gorgeous!  Anyway, bug aside, the flower is really pretty.  And I think it is cool that they have been married that long and still love each other.  That's pretty awesome and rare in 2010.

As for what I am reading right now, I just finished the kids' book Room with a Zoo and am going to review it for the Examiner.  Now I am on Sorcerers and Seers and just starting The Last Olympian.  Better start on that review now.

 Ta ta!

Yawning in Technicolor

Happy Boxing Day! Happy St. Stephen's Day! Happy any other holiday today which we also likely don't celebrate!  I do like holidays.  Not that today was much of a holiday compared to, well, the holiday.  I was too sick to go to church so I did oh-so-productive things like watched a lot of NCIS with my new leopard gecko, Clementine.  She is fantastic so far. P.S. I want to BE Abby.

Also, BoyKid cooked some pasta and sauce for us. He is GOOD. That time in Italy left him mighty talented. I couldn't keep dinner down, though.  Gastroparesis has been BAD lately. I throw up after most meals.  It's like I am bulimic, but physically so.

 Uncool.

I am tired of my head, my stomach, everything about me really annoys me.

So random thought about my blog.  Awhile ago I wrote that I didn't know who really read me. And that is okay, I write mostly for myself.  Well, Christmas Eve, my aunt said SHE reads and was wondering if that bothered me. It totally doesn't.  I am happy to hear that I get read.  Granted, it weirds my mom out to read me because she thinks I am too mean about some people and that I shouldn't write about them, even if I DO call them by code names.  But as long as you are not offended by what I write (knowing I am a sarcastic brat. Hee hee! And basically tell the truth as *I* see it, therefore it is all just my opinion.) READ AWAY!  And that includes you, Aunt Clare (who does not have a code name mostly because I don't have any secret stuff about her and her name is short which are the 2 reasons I do it.  That and I like code names. I mean even my brother will forever be BoyKid.

Anyway, tomorrow I need to go to the pet store and get a lot more crickets, since Tinsel, Mab and Oberon eat them but now so do the geckos, especially Clementine who is no fan of mealies yet.  Also I am going to take back the basking lamp for Clementine becuase it is just not working for her. She doesn't NEED UVA/UVB rays, she is nocturnal, but what she does need is HEAT.  Also to the post office where a big order of mealies is waiting.  My mealworm farm needs some revitalization so I am adding a bunch to it.

Good deal.  Gotta take care of the critters! They are my life. They are my kids. :)

Also, I am going to write an article for the Examiner about the book A Room with a Zoo.  I just finished one about live nativities.  I am really liking writing for the Examiner.  I make about $40 a month when I do it right.  That's not exactly an income, but when I am feeling to crappy to work it at least pays for some Pet Society Gold and some online supplies for my gliders and stuff.  It is better than nothing and I get to say I am a published writer.

Christmas Lizards and a Collection of Gift Cards

It's Christmas!  Our morning was very fun, everybody in my family was far too generous to each other so there were lots of fun presents to open.  I got a new basking light bulb for Bratanik, The Last Olympian, Sorcerers and Seers, a necklace with a little Liahona on it, a bunch of gift cards, Toy Story 3, Mork and Mindy season 2, a punch ball froggy, a cute hat, Scrabble Slam, and a bunch of other little things. 

I ALSO got 2 things before Christmas - Tinsel, my ALTG Lizard and Clementine my new leopard Gecko.  Tinsel is cool, but CLEMENTINE is BEAUTIFUL. And such a sweetheart.  She never bites and actually seems to like hanging out resting on you.  She is a Tremper Albino with pretty gold eyes (one winks though, and MAY be blind) and just such a cutie!  I love her so much already.  She is not too impressed with my mealworms though, and prefers crickets. Honestly though, even though I raise my own mealies so it is MUCH cheaper, I will give her WHATEVER she wants for now.  I am also going to try her on wax worms (she is a bit skinny and needs some fat) and of course baby Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches as I have THOSE in abundance and they are super healthy for her.

ANYWAY, last night, Christmas Eve was super fun too!  We spent the evening with the Ostleparkwells (Meg and T-La's fams) eating delicious soup, talking, and having BoyKid play with the little boys who so worship him.  He had fun too, don't worry.  He loves those kids! Plus they played Mario Party on the Wii so he wasn't exactly suffering. HA!  But also he is just such a great kid.  He is really patient with his little cousins and is a great example. Great example to ME too.  I love that boy.

Also, I LOVE MEGAN. I know that isn't a huge surprise or anything, I mean she is my bestest friend/cousin.  But I really ADMIRE her.  She has gone through so much hard stuff in her life, but is now becoming SUPER active in the Church (she, well WE, are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints... Mormon for those that have heard more about that.).  I know she still struggles (nope, I am not the only one... mental illness runs in our family) but she DOES it. She holds a calling even.  She is a stellar example to me, though some Sundays I just can't go and the Lord DOES understand that.  She is amazing and has come so far.  Her hubby, Jakey, isn't a member of our faith, he is Catholic, but he is SUCH a good person for her.  He adores her and supports her and encourages her in our church.  Marrying someone of a different culture or religion can be so hard, but they are 2 people I see making it work best they can.  They are both awesome.

Also, another aspect of awesomeness Megs is like a fiberwork PHENOM.  She can knit ANYTHING!  Like seriously anything.  Monsters, Hermit Crabs, and, for Christmas she is making me some red knitted SHOES!  They are SUPER cute.  She is A-MAZING.  Anyway, enough about her, back to me (JK) Ha!

BoyKid is in the livingroom wailing on the Paper Jamz I gave him.  It can do real chords so he can play it like his real guitars.  He is so talented.  I am seriously surrounded by the coolest people.  That is probably the best part of Christmas (I mean, yes, we remember the birth of Jesus and THAT is the most IMPORTANT, but the FUNNEST part is family.  And it is ALMOST as important, I mean, that's why Christ did it all... so that we could stay with our family together forever.).  I have great family and friends and pets. I am so grateful for all of my blessings. And gift cards.

Whining.

Still sick, eating Ramen and watching my chinchilla spaz out for me.  She is hilarious.  Glad my pets are here for me.  I am also reading Incantation and Billy Creekmore. Both are pretty good.

I am so hot. I rarely get fevers but I have one now.  So I am sweaty and gross. Uncool. (Literally!)

I am lonely. I want to go back to work. I want to go to SPAIN.

I am writing for the Examiner.  I need to get on top of a couple of Christmas themed articles this week. I am going to write about how you shouldn't give pets as presents and another that lists present ideas for pets (or for friends that have them).  Not sure which I will write next.  I am a little writer's blocked.

But I like writing. It gives me something productive I can do at home, since I am basically a shut in right now.  Whether it's blogging or writing an article, it helps.

Typhoid Mary Christmas

I am sick.

I am so sick of being sick!  It is truly unfair to feel crappy during the holidays.  Mom is in the kitchen making these little M&M treats that have candy cane Kisses on pretzels and an M&M to top it, them she is putting them with this:

M&M Christmas Story

by Pam Ridenour

M&M Christmas Story
As you hold these candies in your hand and turn them, you will see....
The M becomes a W, an E, and then a 3.
They tell the Christmas story it's one I'm sure you know.
It took place in a stable a long, long time ago.
The E is for the East where the star shone oh so bright.
The M is for the Manger where the baby Jesus slept that night.
The 3 is for the Wiseman bearing gifts, they say they came.
W is for Worship, Hallelujah
Praise to His name.
So as you eat these candies or share them with a friend,

Remember the meaning of Christmas, it's a love story that never ends
Merry Christmas

 I think that is the neighborhood gift.  I was helping her but then decided Typhoid Mary would be a better friend to just sit in the other room watching The Sting and drinking de-fizzed 7-Up rather than to spread my love/germs.

So anyway tomorrow is the church Christmas party and my DAD playing Santa.  Heaven help anyone trying to keep Santa real for their children in our ward... he is just plain SCARY as Santa Claus!  But he LOVES doing it.
Anyway, really sick of it.  Not The Sting. That's a good (old) flick. Nor the 7-Up which is pomegranate flavored and quite good. Sick of the being sick.

Happy Holidays

This past couple months have been some wild holidays. In Vegas with the family we went to The Lion King, saw my darling tigers and dolphins at the Secret Garden (the 5 "cubs" are now SO much bigger but still just big kitties to me, but now 2 new little twin white cubs just charming the socks off the masses), etc.  Christmas was fun as home, and then New Year's we all went to respective friend parties and I saw SO many awesome friends there!

First of all, VEGAS. BOOM! Pictures abound.

It was a very fun trip.

Christmas was just... good. It was good to chill with the fam.  And, yes, doing all kinds of things to remember the birth of the Savior. We went to Temple Square to see the nativity out in the reflection pond and the lights, we read The Living Christ as a family as well as the account in the Bible.  We also watched The Nativity. If you haven't got a copy, you can for free from Mormon.org. Okay, PSA over. ;)

NYE I really wanted to go play but was afraid I would feel too crappy. BUT I had a rare MILD headache, so I went.  It was so much fun. I felt almost normal, and I haven't been out of the dang HOUSE to see people in ages so it was pretty awesome.  Llama and his awesome wife and family held the party.  I rang in 2010 with Bobbie and her Hubby, the Bucksomes, The CFEs, Heather and Dirt, and others.  We played Trivial Pursuit, had a Mexican Food Potluck (I brought dollar menu stuff from Del Taco.  That's about as close to cooking as I get. Hee hee!), and just chilled, talked, laughed at kids, and blew paper horns.


Here is hoping 2010 beats the h*** out of 2009. GOOD GORDON.

This is My Brain on Christmas. Any Questions?

Things on my mind (that I am paying more attention to than blogging) are as follows:
My 1st official "gig" as Critters 2 Go. Trying to pull together a Utah sugar glider (and other small exotics) club called Mountain West Pocket Critters Conference. Learning to sew Cabbage Patch Kid clothes... steampunk ones! My Endoscopy... toworrow at 5 am (Bleh!). My mom's eye surgery to TRY to correct some of what the stroke did to her (it was Monday. But they are doing more on it tomorrow morning. So we will both be in the hospital tomorrow morning.). Printing (and maybe selling) my own stick figure family window clings that INCLUDE sugar gliders! Learning to decorate cakes. Becoming a Big Sister (as in Big Brother/Big Sister. Not as in my mother is having a baby). Writing Christmas cards and wrapping gifts. Perry Mason.

Yeah, my brain is a bit busy.

Part... yeah... Never mind.

Part... yeah... Never mind.

I am not finishing my vacation entry or Christmas, or anything.

Cirque Du Soleil (Ka) was freaking amazing. Blue Man Group was uncomfortably hilarious but gave Germaphobe Rinny a pretty bad anxiety attack because they buried us in toilet paper. And I got a Grey tree frog for Christmas and named her Costanza.

That's all you get. Now I am going to attempt to move on and blog every so often, starting with the quiz I got on Facebook about 25 Random things.

Yesterday at 5:53pm

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

[Or you tagged me, like a zillion years ago and I am finally getting to it. Sorry I suck so much!]

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs (+) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1) I have recently begun really considering my 3 sugar gliders my children. I always CALLED them my babies. But I recently realized that my love for them has reached the level of "Crazy Cat Lady" and I do, in fact, consider them my children. My tortoise and turtle are eeking close to actual child-ship as well. Is it because I will soon be 30?

2) I turn 30 in April.

3) I used to blog a lot. Now I am back going to the Doctors a lot. Blogging is much cheaper, but I just seem to have lost my ability to complete my thoughts and so I start entries and don't finish them. So I quit. It makes me cry. I know it's dumb to cry about blogging. But it was better than therapy and therapy isn't working. And I still can't finish my thoughts so...

4) I saw the Blue Man Group in Vegas. It was very funny BUT Rinny kind of freaked because they covered us in Toilet Paper. That was not as much funny as stressful. I know that feeling too well.

5) I hate elevators and they give me panic attacks sometimes.

6) I think Capybaras are the coolest animals since sugar gliders and someday TOTALLY want one as a pet!!!

7) I am ALWAYS reading something. If I don't have a book I am in at the moment I feel utterly lost.

8) I feel like I gave a piece of my heart away when I had to give Josie, my goat, to that nice lady with a farm. Even though I was giving her an awesome life. I know that it will sound insulting to them, so I won't tell them, when I hear women talk about giving up a child for adoption inside I want to say "I know how you feel. EXACTLY how you feel." and cry. But they would hate me.

9) I recently found out after a year of the first med that has ever given me ANY kind of LIVABLE life with my pain that it has been causing my teeth to rot and I now have 16 cavities. I still WILL take it... because I can't NOT. But, seriously? 16 cavities? My teeth are breaking out of my mouth? I have a prescription toothpaste now? Can I not catch a break EVER?!

10) I like water aerobics... MOST days

11) I have an apartment with an awesome roommate who has adorable dogs and takes care of my shell babies... and I don't LIVE there. I live at my parents' house.

12) I love off-roading but there is nowhere decent to do it here.

13) I mostly listen to Christian Rock ALL the time... then will randomly turn for 10 minutes to the angriest, darkest alternative music ever. Weird.

14) I have 3 bettas and each HAD a "pet" snail. This week one of the snails (Michael Phish Phelps' snail, China) died. And I cried for a solid half hour.

15) I bought a Gray Tree Frog for Christmas and named her Costanza. Now I would totally love to buy her a boyfriend!

16) I still miss my ex-boyfriend "Fresno." It's been LONG ENOUGH to be WAY over him. And I AM. I just also... miss having someone to play with and feeling cute and funny.

17) I LOVE MY JOB. I rarely GO, but I LOVE it. If I could do it more, and get, like paid for it more, it would be perfection. My job at Thanksgiving Point, but full-time, WOULD be my dream job.

18) My little Brother is coming home from Italy MARCH 13th and I am so freaking excited!!!!!!! I sort of idolize the BoyKid.

19) My little sister is my BOSS at work! And it is her birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RINNY!!!

20) I have an undying crush on Perry Mason.

21) I almost ALWAYS have my suggies with me. At present they are all 3 in a pouch in my shirt.

22) My glider Heber is partially named after a Plyg relative of Coats' Heebs' whole name is Heber Lyman Nestor the Molester (the Molester Part is NOT from Coats' Fam!)

23) I love Photography. I take at least 10 pictures a day... most nobody sees as I just save them and decide what to do with them later. And yes, I admit, MOST are of my gliders. Hee hee!

24) I miss the Fringe. The Fringe is a group of 4 of us in the mission (Coats, Parker, and Lil' Jeppsen) and now includes the Fringe-in-laws Risa Parker and Uhh... Mrs. Jeppsen and the MiniFringe their kiddlets. We are awesome friends. Coats and I remain single. She does things like join the Army and Skydive. I do things like... umm 1- 24. hee hee!

25)<-- is one of my 3 favorite numbers. The other 2 are 7 and 222. "The Boys are Back!"

MY HOLIDAY REVIEW: Lions and Tigers and Frogs OH MY! PART 1

Yes, I am finally going to write (or at least post pictures) of my holidays. Part of the reason I haven't is because there is just a lot and I have been busy. Part of the reason is I haven't been so good and I haven't really wanted to talk to anyone, even my blog. Yeah. Having a bit of an "episode" you might say. Which is really hard to say because I really want to go home and I can't right now until I am doing better.

ANYWAY, I am going to attempt to ignore that and tell you about Vegas! Wild Animals! Spiritual Stuff! Irish Neighbors! And Helicopters! And other things that deserve exclamation points!!!!

First of all, about a week or so before Christmas we went to Vegas to visit my Uncle and Aunt J... dad's FAVORITE big brother. Padre is, like, OBSESSED with anything J does. It's like "Oh, you are into model trains now? OH, so am I!" Like he is 4. ANYWAY, so apparently there was some model train/plane/etc. thing that he wanted to go with John to and so we were all going under the Guise of Christmas, PLUS, of course Rinny and Dad wanted to see BYU play in the Vegas Bowl again like last year.

Only THIS time they decided the trip basically would BE the gifts... we were going to do a couple BIG SPLURGEY shows (we just didn't actually KNOW this, it was a surprise)... plus Rinny got the Vegas Bowl... so *I* could go back to the Secret Garden to see the tigers and dolphins and such (alone since nobody else much cared enough to make tickets worth it, but dang, I would LIVE there if I could!).

So, first we had to drive there. Listening to Talk Radio... and listening to my dad talk BACK to the talk radio... makes for a VERY VERY long trip. And for some reason, we didn't actually remember to BRING things to do. Or walkmans. But we had cameras. So, literally, we took pictures of ourselves the whole way.

SEE SLIDE-SHOW-O-RAMA!!! (you really should)

The scary thing is... WE DELETED THE MAJORITY of them. That's right. THESE are the GOOD ones.

Also, the trip was made much longer by the fact that 1. we were caught in a full-on white out blizzard in some mountain pass. 2. It was the worst (first?) snow storm in like 20 years in St. George (we actually stopped there for a bit to rest at the condo because the cars going off the road and we wanted to go to the temple in the morning!) and apparently in 30 years in Vegas. The snow in down south in St. George and Vegas was certainly not, like OUR bad weather, but for people not used to it... YEAH it was pretty big! And the flakes WERE enormous. Not flakes... like snow CLUMPS. It was hilarious.

When we finally got to The Orleans, we brought our picture frenzy into the gift shop...

and then the arcade, where I found this horrible and yet very fun game called Flamin Finger. It's awful! We just KEPT PLAYING! At least it gave us pretty good tickets.

We with our tickets bought some fuzzy dice to hang on our tree (hee hee!) and a yo-yo with Pacman on it. Then we split up. Nobody else wanted to spend the money to see the Secret Garden but as Dad was taking Rinny to the Las Vegas Bowl, *I* could go alone. They... actually, I am not sure what they did. I think my mom and went to the room with Rinny who took a nap and Dad gambled or went golfing. I could care less. I went to the Mirage. I took a few pics in front of the Beatles Lounge and then spent hours with dolphins, tigers, and lions.




Only problem? MY CAMERA DIED. Yeah, and it is one of those you charge in a charger, not the kind you can buy and replace batteries at the gift shop. I DID buy 2 highly-over-priced disposable cameras for more pics of the cubs, but you don't get to see those (yet.) So everything after that had to wait till I could borrow Rinny's camera. SIGH.

The secret garden was awesome (however, the info I gave about the litter of cubs isn't right. The Golden might be in Florida now, but there is only one golden and he IS male and his name is Svenghali and the other female was white with stripes. But they aren't with the mama. Anyway, I got it mixed up. But they are beautiful. As were the dolphin babies. SIGH! I could just LIVE there.

After a few hours there we went to dinner and because it was part of the super good deal with the hotel (that *I* found us online, thank you very much go me.) we got drinks. In our family it is always "just waters, thanks." but these were actual DRINK drinks. Like I ordered a REEEEALLY good Virgin Pina Colada. SO YUMMY. And Rinny had her VERY FIRST EVER MOCKTAIL! No, really. FIRST EVER. She is pretty firm on that "avoiding the appearance of evil" thing and she wasn't going to order one! She said they all sounded "yucky." I told her to go with a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri and that it was "basically a Zuka juice." She took a lot of coercing, but finally drank some. She didn't like it (and honestly, it wasn't the best mocktail ever... my Pina Colada was heaven but Rinn hates coconut!)

After dinner we saw Rinny's Dancing Waters some more (well, I had a migraine, so I actually just sat in the building being sick while Rinn did that) and we got ready for the night's big Splurge! Actually, I went back to the hotel and went into a little migraine coma until they woke me up and said "we are going now." Because I felt so super sick. Which was NOT awesome. But the SHOW was. TO BE CONTINUED.... AFTER you SEE all you can of what I just said! HA!

Which pretty much is all the explanation of AAAAAAAALL of these:

ENJOY! (and you can turn the music off up top of the little screen.)

Snowman Decoration... OF DEATH!!!!! (In case you were at a loss of what to get me for Christmas)

I haven't felt like writing lately.

On the bright side, none of my Christmas decorations have started anything on fire.

Jumbo snow globes + sunlight = consumer hazard

Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:33pm EST

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Some 7,000 jumbo-sized snow globes were recalled by Hallmark Cards Inc. because the holiday decorations can act as a magnifying glass when exposed to sunlight and ignite nearby combustible materials, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said on Tuesday.

The snowman-shaped snow globes were sold in October and November at Hallmark Gold Crown stores nationwide for about $100 each.

The consumer agency said Hallmark has received two reports of the snow globes igniting nearby materials but no injuries have been reported.

Consumers who bought the snow globes, which measure 11 by 12 by 17 inches (28 by 30 by 43cm), should immediately remove them from exposure to sunlight and return to a Hallmark Gold Crown store for a full refund.

Details about the recall were posted at the government agency's web site at: here

(Reporting by Julie Vorman; Editing by Bill Trott)

SOURCE HERE

I'd want a refund now if I bought one and I COULDN'T get a decent fire started.

Eventually I really WILL write about our trip to Vegas, seeing the tigers and dolphins, KA, Blue Man Group, and getting my new frog. But for now, just be glad that snowman isn't after you.

Depression: You DON'T leave home without it!

So, I am getting ready for church and borrow some "alergin reducing" shampoo, which I hastily interpret to be, like, super hypoallergenic non-scented stuff because the Aunt Idaho J is basically like me in that department. I washed my hair and then re-read the bottle thinking "wait, what?" Yeah. DOG SHAMPOO. So now people will not be allergic to my head so much. And it protects against matts and burrs... oh good. HA HA! I was worried about that. HEE HEE HEE!

Church was... frustrating. Sacrament meeting was VERY pretty singing, especially one song that really just made me think about Mary's role as a real MOTHER. But my side pain and headache were both bad, and Padre insisted we go to Sunday school too. So we are sitting there, and suddenly Mom looks over and is like, No, [Kipluck] is going home and drags me out. I told her I COULD stay, but I WAS hurting really bad. So we went home. I took pills, a nap, then had a little bawl session about church, myself, and why can't be better - your basic Depression break down. That was like an hour or two and ended with me locking myself in a room and crying awhile, while wishing I was home and not here.

I really wish I could leave stuff like THAT at HOME.

Viva... Henderson.

Hey! I am just borrowing my uncle's computer right now to check in... I can't check often because they have DIAL UP. Seriously? Dial Up? Who has that anymore? So pretty much I am taxing it to it's limits just being here. I think I heard the mouse whimper in fear when I came in the room.

At present I am BOOOOOORED! Because we have been in the car for forever (my dad is not a fan of potty breaks) and finally got to my Aunt and Uncle's house and they are gone and even took their DOG with them. And even though we are in "Vegas" we are really in HENDERSON in a retirement neighborhood so pretty much there is not much to do with out a car.

Okay, it is better now because they do have a Jacuzzi that we got up and running while Rinny and Padre went to the Las Vegas bowl. They are still there. And I am still frozen. The hot tub is nice, but considering the pond next to it is covered in thick ice, well, yeah... not exactly swimming weather. Still, it is better than nothing and I am hurting pretty bad right now.

Anyway, yeah. Peace.

"That's what YOU'RE all becoming. Martianmellows..."

I am here at the Padres watching this HORRIBLE old movie, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and it is HILARIOUS! SO bad. (but should you want to download an MP3 of the theme song "Hooray for Santy Claus" being sung by some odd Italian(?) group YOU CAN!!!)We are leaving for Vegas tomorrow morning, early, and so I have to stay the night here.

I already left my Sugar Babies at the vet who boards them. It made me almost cry. But I am going to try to not be stressed and just have fun. I know I obsess. But... yeah they are my babies. I miss them. That was one of the hardest parts about staying here at the Padres.

I want to have a good holiday. I want to stop feeling sad. I AM feeling less pain with those shots. So that SHOULD solve a big part of me... but yeah, that's only part of my dumb issue. Because, yeah I am a medical mystery PHYSICALLY... but MENTALLY I am just a stupid mess. Need to do my "homework." My next appointment with Dr. Apparently is the 27th. I don't know a lot of what I am going to tell him... I just... I don't know.

Anyway, Brain off... have some surveys:

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Very Brady Christmas

For you, it's all about sharing times with family. Even if you all get a bit cheesy at times.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

You Are a Fruitcake!

You taste like nothing else in this world. And get ready, you're about to get tossed!

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

You Know a Lot About Christmas

You got 6/10 correct You know tons about the history and traditions surrounding Christmas. When you celebrate the holidays, you never forget their true meaning - or all the little fun details. Random Christmas fact: Only 21% of US households has a real Christmas tree each year.

How Much Do You Know About Christmas?

You Are a Traditional Christmas Tree

For a good Christmas, you don't have to re-invent the wheel. You already have traditions, foods, and special things you bring out every year.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

Your Christmas Song Is

Then I saw mommy tickle santa claus Underneath his beard so snowy white Oh, what a laugh it would have been If daddy had only seen Mommy kissing santa claus last night At Christmas, you feel like a kid again Complete with major Christmas eve insomnia

What Christmas Carol Are You?

You Are a Snowman

Friendly and fun, you enjoy bringing holiday cheer to everyone you know!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

Kipluck: International Heart Breaker!

Okay, this isn't as funny as Nitty Gritty, but still. This Moses Person wrote to me and sounded actually cognitive and moderately nice, though I wasn't much interested. But he wanted my PHONE number. So I wrote back a polite, thanks for the note, maybe you could tell me more about yourself because I don't really give out my phone number, but maybe if we wrote awhile, I'd see. (Note, the first letter SOUNDED like someone FROM THIS COUNTRY. I don't know where he pasted it from)

THIS is what I got back...

To: kipluck
From: moses
Subject: hi
------------------------------------------

Thanks for your mail......i really appreciate what you said in your email...AM the only child of my parent, am single with no kids, i use to work with my dad he own an oil firm but due to our difference i had to stop working with him...I believe that partners are 100% equal in a relationship and both should be able to feel they can trust each other 100% at all times. I feel that any man who ever disrespects a woman is not a man at all.... My comon day schedule create time for fun, i like to get involve with any event outdoor for fun..... Well people that i have met will tell you am honest,concern, caring, respect other people opinion, sharing and not selfish.. I am affectionate also and I have no trouble showing it for the right man in public or private. ..my dream man will be someone who does not loves to argue, respect my opinion.....i want a man that is honest, concern, caring, sharing, loving and loyal. A man with a shoulder i can lean on right now due to what am going through at the moment.A man that his outgoing and funny but not like a clown all the time. A man that is kind not critical, not anal but easy going, spontaneous, affectionate and generous with his feelings, and time. He should like to go out and keep active. I don't like sitting at home on the couch too much. He needs to be an open, honest and patient person but not a pushover. I love walks on the beach,cuddling up and watching television, especially sports.Am a very transparent person in character,am caring, sharing, loving, and most of all trustworthy.....i want a man with enough experience in life to see both of us through....am not ready for mind games and i don't want my match too be the same.....am supportive and also i want my man too be supportive.
I am looking for something permanent and I know it takes time and a lot of good effort to form a good relationship. I want my man to be my best friend at all times, my sweetheart, love of my life, my partner and my soul mate all wrapped up into one man. I would be all of that for him and more,I would love him with all of my heart and have nothing but good feelings for him. He should be a very caring person, with a lot of good feelings, be honest, reliable,pleasant and personality.
I have been cheated in the past and it really hurt me so much.......because i trusted my ex with everything that i am but he turn out to be a liar, a cheat and a betrayer.....I know what it mean to be hurt and i will not want a fellow human been to go through the samr....Please honest with me.....
Tell me about your family background ? If you have a chance to change the world what will you do? Are you trustworthy ? Do you believe in Honest is the best policy? because my om thought me that honesty is the best policy......what do you like to do for fun? what are your dream, what are you ambition? can i confide in you ? will you confide in me?
I look forward to read from you
With all that i am and Loyalty
moses.

Excuse me, WHAT THE?! I wrote back that there was apparently a mistake made and that he was either 1. gay and just sharing his dreams and aspirations with me 2. a woman and thought I was a man, therefore never ACTUALLY read my profile and therefore was a scammer or 3. was not familiar enough with English to understand that there was a difference in Male and Female and also probably was a scammer. I said, sorry, but none of those 3 were going to work for me, relationship-wise.

I also have VERY good news. I have been getting shots directly in my muscle because they now think it is a nerve/muscle thing and IT IS HELPING! I am even SLEEPING IN MY OWN BED!

Yep, I am at my house as we speak! (the book and my meds are still at the padres and I am still being checked on but STILL! BETTER! YAY!!!)

Which also means Mom and I are going with Padre and Rinny to Vegas for Christmas. Both a good and bad thing. Because, well, I AM still hurting, and I am a little nervous about things... one of which is I really hate leaving my suggies kenneled at the vet's starting tomorrow because we leave very early (ugh) Saturday morning.

AND in preparation for Christmas I am going to SEE if I can get someone to chauffeur me around tomorrow but chances are they will be too busy so CC, Cupcake, Stewie, Thai, Prism, Darci, Heatherbella, Bobbie, "neighbor Pam," Coats, Megs, Miss Meliss, and Pepper, know I at least have a card or something for you that WILL be late. Because, yeah, I won't even be in town. hee hee!

I love you all very VERY much.

And now I should dose what I am allowed and turn off awhile. Peace Out.

"both of us are very fluents in english" RIIIIIIGHT.

Some very good things and some very discouraging ones.

First of all, I am doing my "psychology homework" for Dr. Apparently who I really like and being good but I probably have to stay at my parents' house awhile longer. And even when I get to go home, I am going to have to not work for more than a few hours every so often.... maybe for a few months. With my mental and physical pains, I am supposed to consider this time like "Rehab" because otherwise I have to GO away, like in a hospital or something, because of learning to deal with Chronic Pain. And if I don't want to do that I have to work really really hard to heal at home and get healthy... in a lot of ways.

Oh, hey, random warning, if you are suffering with Depression, especially severe enough that you are getting dangerous thoughts, DO NOT READ She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. I had to stop. It was, ummm, "Triggering" and making me very... sick. Just... don't.

The mental health thing is the biggest part *I* am working on, of course, as it is the part most in my control. I can't do much about my abdomen hurting. They are going to try injections soon, and that might help, but it might not. But they will still be testing me for all kinds of craziness (like Lupus or Lukemia) about my Sed Rate. And *I* can't do anything about that.

The other part can control is trying very hard to get healthier with my weight and diabetes, because that will make a lot of things easier, even though it doesn't DIRECTLY affect my pain. So I am on a bit of a "Health Hiatus" for a few months to try and get more normal.

BUT not EVERYTHING is bad. Holy crap but I have sweet friends! These bee slippers, lotions, and matching flannel pillowcases and blanket are from CC, Cupcake, Mali, Stewie, Thai, Prism, Darci, Heatherbella, Bobbie, etc. <-- (that etcetera includes "neighbor Pam" who I have never met, but still, Thanks!) They tied the blanket for me and CC and Cupcake brought it over to me today and I didn't cry while they were there. Thank you so very much, you guys. Thank you EVERYONE who has been praying for me or being supportive and stuff. And Thank you a TON, Quilt people. (My mom and sister both bawled when they saw it.) This is a really hard time right now and it is just awesome to have something all cuddlesome and cute to remind me that people in my life ROCK. I love my friends!!!!!!

Boys are... fun distractions, but not much more. Because even if I got to a point of really liking someone (like ArmyBoy) I don't know that I really trust my psyche to handle that at this point in my life anyway. To be honest, I still cry over Fresno. I sometimes wonder if I will EVER get over that, and whether any guy will REALLY like me for who I am, rain or shine. I think not. But still, I LIKE writing to a boy like ArmyBoy. He is nice and fun and uncomplicated. His letters are too short, and he probably likes 20 girls more than me... but he is funny and sweet and easy to talk to. So I do. For now, anyway. I also like MOCKING boys like Mr. Nitty-Gritty who I do NOT really write, but keep writing me, for your pleasure. hee hee! Especially this one because just before it I HAD written and said I was sorry but I just did NOT see falling for a guy who was not fluent in English. Again, I have bolded my favorite parts.

To: kipluck
From: lademmie
Subject: this is my understanding
------------------------------------------
hi sweetie,
its a zest reading your mailback thanks, bcos it takes a kinda deep and matured understanding and mine of the person you are,thanks,
well..................i meant to let you understand the fact that both of us are very fluents in english, bcos I've interfere with someone who doesn't know if she is female, or if he is for male alphabetical, so i mean, and guest, even felt that maybe you are scared having a relationship with me due to your sincere and straight minded person you are and wouldn't wants to get into trouble along the affairs, i understands. ok am great full thanks for the mailback, am not persisting,but in case any feelings or interest?, let me have your yahoo ID so that i could send to you my pics thanx. bye

I admit, I AM curious to see a pic... but NOT curious enough to respond. Also, I REALLY wish I knew what that male-female alphabetical thing meant. HEE HEE HEE.

I am going to go to bed (in my new quilt!) and I will finish this tomorrow, hopefully with pictures.

By the way, if any of you like NuSkin, I am selling some stuff my dad gave me (he won it golfing) on eBay. Basically I am going to try to be an eBay girl to earn some money since I can't work. So, if you are interested, Check out my auctions on a 180 System and a Galvanic Spa System II.

("But this is a good look for you, Sarah. You've gone beyond pajamas and are now wearing the bed." - Must Love Dogs)

And now I am going to bed.

My back MRI showed there were things wrong with me... a disk was off, I have a benign tumor and such, and some other weird stuff... but nothing that should make me have imaginary appendicitis. But the pain management clinic agreed to TRY and do an injection in my back and see if it helps. That's the day after Christmas. I do NOT think it is going to work. Neither do THEY, actually. But I am seriously willing to try anything.

Today was the Pain people. Yesterday I started with Dr. Apparently. Yup, I am in therapy. I think it's a good thing. But it is really really hard. And tomorrow I get a new Gastro, to see if THEY can find anything (because I am NOT going back to Dr. ScrewIt). Doctors every freaking day. Just like my pain. And pills.

Every day is so much the same. Hurting, being in a daze, tests that reveal nothing.

And it's almost Christmas. Sure doesn't FEEL like Christmas, that's for sure. The snow helps, but I feel like I'm in a fog and I don't care about anything right now. It is snowing right NOW, even. I have gotten a few cards... I appreciate them. I just don't think I will send any back. I am sorry to my friends. I am a scrooge this year. Christmas just feels like another day between doctor's appointments. I HOPE I feel okay enough to go with the fam to Vegas for Christmas. But I don't know.

So today was different! Yay for different! I was sitting here writing this after the doctor when Coats called and asked if I wanted to go to lunch! OF COURSE I DID! She would have to drive as I am now always in danger of getting a DUI, and I could not be long, but just doing SOMETHING was good. We went to Kneaders and had sandwiches and talked. It was so fun to see her. I have missed her. I have missed... ANYONE.

As my mom asked "Was it good to see somebody besides your mom or a doctor?" Yeah, it was. I am not doing so grand. But I am trying.

"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley!"

Yesterday here it rained all day. No snow, just rain. Today it has been snowing non-stop. Worse for driving, but better for the Christmasy atmosphere. And it IS pretty... BUT it is bad enough with our driveway and hill at the padres we MAY be snowed in by the end of the day. Interesting.

Rinny came over today and gave me 2 paychecks and a Christmas card and gift card from TGP, like FROM the company. COOL! The checks were, well, nothing (hard to make MONEY when you can't WORK, like ever), but the gift card was for 50 bucks! Weee! Now Padre is fighting with Rinn because she wants to leave and he thinks she should stay... like, the NIGHT. Already I am not going to be able to feed the babies tonight. I will need to call the Roomie and ask her to do it for me. Bummer.

Boys are still a welcome distraction. Mostly ArmyBoy. He is a very interesting guy. I want to find out more about him. But I am bad at asking questions. Like I probably should just find a good survey and just ask one of the questions each time. Like just to give us random things to talk about, you know? He really is VERY cute. I admit, I am still missing Fresno. I guess I am rebounding, kind of. But I am not thinking serious right now anyway. We just started writing (but ARE writing a couple times everyday), and besides I need to figure out my OWN dumb medical life. Boys are just a happy little distraction... unless, you know... it becomes more than that, but after a LONG time. Because DANG. I can't handle real stuff. Probably. Maybe. But he IS cute. And nice. And likes me! (And, CC, we talked about the liking chubby girl thing and I am okay with it, because he has chilled on that, apparently, in matters of health. ANYWAY, yeah).

OH, and the dumb ones are funny too! After I wrote to Mr. Nitty Gritty saying sorry, but language barriers would likely prove too difficult, have a great life but I was not interested, he STILL wrote back! HA!

To: kipluck
From: lademmie
Subject: am tripping for you sweetie
------------------------------------------
am confidence all about you, and am down on my knee is to be with you in wat 'er part of the world please tell me how is it gonna be possible? pls am waiting sweetie what's ur idea?

Wow. Yeah. "Special!" Ya gotta laugh at the awesomeness of that. Because, well, the REST of life (ie: pretty much everything OFFline) right now sucks rocks. I am waiting for results from that MRI, but I admit I am pessimistic about it because I have a hard time believing ANYONE will find out anything that will help me. Nobody has so far, why would they be different, you know? *cries* I do NOT want lupus or anything, though. I am going to do this and hope they have SOME longer lasting pain control than dumb Loritab and dumb Percocet... then find some internal medicine specialist who can find out what's wrong with my crazy Sed Rate.

Right now I live from pill to pill, and try to distract myself. Today I watched Airplane (always hilarious!), 8 Crazy Nights (weird.), and now I am watching Bewitched (I love it. Will Ferrell kills me.). Also playing on Gaia... and chatting on Mingle (obviously *blush*)...

Yes, very productive.

It is STILL snowing. And I think I am going to go take a bath, after I take another pill. Because I have been writing this blog off and on all day and it is time to do so. Peace out.

Mr. Cousin Jas?!

A few things. First of all, I am going a little (MORE than a little) stir crazy living with the padres. I forget how much life HERE revolves around sports and parties. It is like pets at my house. Everyday we have cousins over because of "the game." "The Game" may be basketball OR football. It usually means Auntie O's fam comes over (sometimes including Brett and Annie who DO rock... they lived with us before) and Auntie O asks how I am and annoys me and so I hide from them.

Apparently THIS time "The Game" also means we will be going to Vegas the weekend before Christmas. We will be having Christmas with the Idaho J's, Padre's FAVORITE big brother, the one who now live there in Nevada, NOT Idaho (and, incidentally the only family on "our side" of the schism about Uncle Rude). AND we will be going to the Las Vegas Bowl which Padre has been finagling to get tickets for and, well, did. (Thai, I bet you guys will be watching that one... albeit, wearing opposite colors! Ha!)

now, when I say "we," there is a strong possibility *I* will be merely THERE. Alternately in a hotel or at Idaho J's house on pain pills and crying. I really really want to hope that by then I won't be... and there is SOME hope. We have a different plan.

After finding NOTHING WRONG WITH ME except pain...
"your white count is up... but not a LOT... which can be caused by severe pain and stress."
"your Sed rate is elevated... it seems there is pain and inflammation in the body... basically caused by pain..."

The basic idea is that I hurt so much because... I AM IN PAIN.

Therefore, with nothing left to go on, that is what we are going to treat. I have been referred to a Pain Management person who thinks it is POSSIBLE it may be muscular/nerve stuff, originating in my back. I meet with him Thursday to evaluate, schedule MRIs and we may just figure out where to do trigger point injections... kinda like my head.

It is a band-aid for a cut that I don't know where it is from. It is not a solution. But it is SOMETHING. And if it will work, even a little, I will take it. If it will get me off constant pain meds and out of bed wishing I would die in the night, I will do it.

It is just SOMETHING while we keep looking for a doctor that can help, but Dr. Hasacrazywife came back and even though my insurance won't take him, we went back to him. Because he KNOWS me. He knows I am not whining for nothing. And he is willing to actually go through the now PILES of tests and keep looking. And he thinks this is out next, intermediate, step. So I will take it.

Because my other option might be hospitalization for other things because I can't stop hurting. And I can't handle that.

This is a bad time for me right now. Yeah.

But not EVERYTHING is bad, COATS called me! We talked and laughed our heads off about our rather pathetic lives. I miss her. Living with Coats, both on the mission and as roomies at SUU, was HILARIOUS. And horrible. And Hilarious. She updated me on the family news/scandals. Her poor little cousin who is preggy, but really awesomely giving the baby for adoption. Her older sister and hubby (we don't like either of them much) are having ANOTHER baby. But the biggest news that made me simultaneously want to scream, cry, cheer, and hug him? COUSIN JAS IS MARRIED.

At first I felt a little sick, I admit.

But he was married in the temple. That made me a little less sick, but gave me a headache and made me worry.

BUT he got his life in order, stopped drinking and smoking, started going regularly to church, and went to the temple a couple months BEFORE HE EVEN MET HER! THAT made me want to spin him around and hug him. Oh Jas, I am so proud of you I could cry... so jealous of her, I just MIGHT... but still. GO YOU.

BoyKid is HILARIOUS. His letters... I should share snippets. Things like "Missionary life is kinda like being in 24. People come in your life, you get very close to them...and then they blow up. Or more accurately they go home or get transferred." He kills me. And, we found out today, now he is a TRAINER. He will be so good. That new little elder will be lucky. my baby bro ROCKS.

Also, I am sort of writing a guy on Mingle. It is a little awkward because I just look at stuff there and think "Fresno" but he seems nice. Not that it will go anywhere... he is an army guy... he is in Kentucky. But, it is nice to have a distraction. He is a geek. He likes to drawing, WoW, and Dungeons and Dragons. He is MIGHTY cute.