The good news is that the new meds I am on really are lessening the headaches! The bad news is that they so far make me too dizzy to drive or read very well, so that better fade or it won't work. I need to get rid of the pain... but I need to be able to drive and read, too.
A day later, I feel like I may have spoken too soon. MAJOR migraine PLUS dizziness today. Bleh. No motivation, either and I have a ton of work to do. A bunch of lessons to write, need to talk to an academic adviser about school, need to make cards for church... sigh.
Showing posts with label meds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meds. Show all posts
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Week!
The last couple days have been pretty interesting. Here is a recap filled with thrill! chills! pills!
(Last) Thursday BoyKid tried out for Divine Comedy! We got to watch. Try outs were SO funny to watch. There were a few people that were not very good at all, but most were VERY funny. It was stiff competition. He didn't even make it, and can say with all honesty, BoyKid's song was excellent. If I can ever convince him to YouTube it, I will post it here. Better luck next time!
Friday, I had an appointment with Dr. Bones, the specialist at the U of U. My headaches are still super bad, so he is trying me on a new med, which is so far making me dizzy, nauseous... and feel slightly as if I am having an out of body experience. This disjointed, out of it experience is very disturbing. Hoping it is one of those side effects that starts bad, but then dwindles after awhile. Because UGH.
Then I did a Critters party. A cute group. The adults were as interested in my presentation as the adults. They asked a million questions. They owned a chinchilla themselves and wanted me to check him out after the party, asked for tips on taming him (they could barely pet him and certainly couldn't hold him like I do Baby Fable), wanted to make sure they had the right set up for him (
they did), and asked about getting him fixed and getting him a friend.
Saturday I did some quilling for church ladies. Pretty good ones, I think.
(by the way, Ehu, that one with the quote about being "beautifully made?" The quote is Ola, MyNigerian. Is it any wonder I am still in love with him?)
Sunday was 9/11.That was hard. I think of Brady a lot, but it is hard to have everything rehashed all day on TV and on the internet. Anyway, I posted about that a bit already.
Monday I sold some roaches to a boy, probably around 13, and his dad. They were really excited. I was pretty excited too because I recently finished The Cockroach Club part of my site! But the most exciting thing about the day was THE ARRIVAL OF THE MANTIS NYMPHS!!!! 11 teensy tiny mantis babies! They are so so cute!!!
So, all week, Padre has been talking about this "Super Secret Surprise" at 5:00. 1st though, I had story time at the museum. We read Zack’s Alligator Goes to School by Shirley Mozelle and made clothespin alligators.
THEN I had a dentist appointment. Bleh.
So, then 5 rolled around and we are headed to Salt Lake! Then Padre starts singing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" and we pretty much figured out we were going to Mary Poppins the Broadway musical. It was really fun. Before we went to the show we went to dinner at Olive Garden. The Gnocchi soup was very good. When we were done we had left overs, but Rinny had brought a cooler. So we were walking back to the car with our food and there was a homeless guy. I knew my dad would NEVER let us give him money because he might buy drugs or alcohol with it, but I asked if we could give him our left overs. At first he said no, then I said "just a bag of bread sticks?" He said okay and proceeded to take OUT 2 breadsticks of the bag leaving 3. *rolls eyes* REAL generous, Dad. But whatever, better than nothing. BoyKid and I ran back and gave it to the man. When I asked if he wanted some bread, he smiled so big and said "Sure!" Really motivated me to get working on those "Blessing Bags" like I've seen on Pinterest.
My dad is not really selfish. It's just that he feels strongly about HOW he should be generous. Like when he is donating to the poor, he feels like he should ONLY do so through the Church. I think that is a good thing, MOST of the time, but sometimes you should go elsewhere, too. He also believes in taking care of your family first. I agree with that, too, but I think he still acts like we have money... going to expensive plays and out to dinner... when we don't. We are in debt.
ANYWAY, before the show there was this art instillation next to the theater with these weird wobbly things that apparently represented grass. But to me it felt like we were fleas on a dog. I LOVED IT! I took a million pictures.
Finally we actually went in. The play was much better than I thought! They did a lot of very tricky things... very magical. Though that new song about being nice to your toys? SUPER CREEPY!!! One bad thing is that my new pill from Bones is STILL making me really sick and basically feel out of my body, so I had to leave for a bit and miss a song. But over all it was still fun! Very different than the movie though. (Also different from the Simpson's "Sherry Bobbins" which is what BoyKid and I kept remembering instead! Ha!)
So then today for Tales for Tots we had the author and illustrator of "Invasion of the Grumpies" to come read their book. It was fun. The book is cute, though a bit wordy for the age group we cater to (though obviously a self-published deal) but clever writing. And they were both really interesting guys. I plan on having them come back again and we bought a copy of their book for the education department. They took a LOT of pictures (you can see them here) They also had the kids draw their own Grumpies to put on the Facebook page. Again, our group was a little young for that, so it was mostly MOMS drawing and then kids scribbling, but we teachers decided to participate. Mine is the one reading the red book. Rinny's is red (It's angry)
Several mantises have not made it, I think we are down to 4 or 5. :( They are so cute, though. I hope SOME of them thrive!
Anyway, that's the news!
(Last) Thursday BoyKid tried out for Divine Comedy! We got to watch. Try outs were SO funny to watch. There were a few people that were not very good at all, but most were VERY funny. It was stiff competition. He didn't even make it, and can say with all honesty, BoyKid's song was excellent. If I can ever convince him to YouTube it, I will post it here. Better luck next time!
Friday, I had an appointment with Dr. Bones, the specialist at the U of U. My headaches are still super bad, so he is trying me on a new med, which is so far making me dizzy, nauseous... and feel slightly as if I am having an out of body experience. This disjointed, out of it experience is very disturbing. Hoping it is one of those side effects that starts bad, but then dwindles after awhile. Because UGH.
Then I did a Critters party. A cute group. The adults were as interested in my presentation as the adults. They asked a million questions. They owned a chinchilla themselves and wanted me to check him out after the party, asked for tips on taming him (they could barely pet him and certainly couldn't hold him like I do Baby Fable), wanted to make sure they had the right set up for him (
they did), and asked about getting him fixed and getting him a friend.
Saturday I did some quilling for church ladies. Pretty good ones, I think.
Sunday was 9/11.That was hard. I think of Brady a lot, but it is hard to have everything rehashed all day on TV and on the internet. Anyway, I posted about that a bit already.
Monday I sold some roaches to a boy, probably around 13, and his dad. They were really excited. I was pretty excited too because I recently finished The Cockroach Club part of my site! But the most exciting thing about the day was THE ARRIVAL OF THE MANTIS NYMPHS!!!! 11 teensy tiny mantis babies! They are so so cute!!!So, all week, Padre has been talking about this "Super Secret Surprise" at 5:00. 1st though, I had story time at the museum. We read Zack’s Alligator Goes to School by Shirley Mozelle and made clothespin alligators.
THEN I had a dentist appointment. Bleh.
So, then 5 rolled around and we are headed to Salt Lake! Then Padre starts singing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" and we pretty much figured out we were going to Mary Poppins the Broadway musical. It was really fun. Before we went to the show we went to dinner at Olive Garden. The Gnocchi soup was very good. When we were done we had left overs, but Rinny had brought a cooler. So we were walking back to the car with our food and there was a homeless guy. I knew my dad would NEVER let us give him money because he might buy drugs or alcohol with it, but I asked if we could give him our left overs. At first he said no, then I said "just a bag of bread sticks?" He said okay and proceeded to take OUT 2 breadsticks of the bag leaving 3. *rolls eyes* REAL generous, Dad. But whatever, better than nothing. BoyKid and I ran back and gave it to the man. When I asked if he wanted some bread, he smiled so big and said "Sure!" Really motivated me to get working on those "Blessing Bags" like I've seen on Pinterest.
My dad is not really selfish. It's just that he feels strongly about HOW he should be generous. Like when he is donating to the poor, he feels like he should ONLY do so through the Church. I think that is a good thing, MOST of the time, but sometimes you should go elsewhere, too. He also believes in taking care of your family first. I agree with that, too, but I think he still acts like we have money... going to expensive plays and out to dinner... when we don't. We are in debt.
ANYWAY, before the show there was this art instillation next to the theater with these weird wobbly things that apparently represented grass. But to me it felt like we were fleas on a dog. I LOVED IT! I took a million pictures.
Finally we actually went in. The play was much better than I thought! They did a lot of very tricky things... very magical. Though that new song about being nice to your toys? SUPER CREEPY!!! One bad thing is that my new pill from Bones is STILL making me really sick and basically feel out of my body, so I had to leave for a bit and miss a song. But over all it was still fun! Very different than the movie though. (Also different from the Simpson's "Sherry Bobbins" which is what BoyKid and I kept remembering instead! Ha!)So then today for Tales for Tots we had the author and illustrator of "Invasion of the Grumpies" to come read their book. It was fun. The book is cute, though a bit wordy for the age group we cater to (though obviously a self-published deal) but clever writing. And they were both really interesting guys. I plan on having them come back again and we bought a copy of their book for the education department. They took a LOT of pictures (you can see them here) They also had the kids draw their own Grumpies to put on the Facebook page. Again, our group was a little young for that, so it was mostly MOMS drawing and then kids scribbling, but we teachers decided to participate. Mine is the one reading the red book. Rinny's is red (It's angry)
Several mantises have not made it, I think we are down to 4 or 5. :( They are so cute, though. I hope SOME of them thrive!
Anyway, that's the news!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I am not a Sark!
(whatever that is, I am not one.)
1. I am going to vocational rehabilitation.
2. I am going to therapy to change my way of thinking.
3. I am going to physical therapy and water aerobics to get stronger and healthier.
4. I am taking my prescribed meds to be well.
5. I have a part-time job that is fulfilling and fun.
6. I am starting my own small business (Critters 2 Go).
7. I am going back to college to get a better career.
8. I am talented, and keep busy with creative things.
9. I take good care of my animals.
I'll add some more if I think of any other "I am not failing" type of thoughts. But I don't think that saying it all in the mirror is going to help me AT ALL.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Niaspan = Hell
Last night I started a new medication, and I didn't think a thing about taking the cholesterol med. Until, in the middle of the night, I woke up and thought I was going to die. My skin all felt like it was on fire. I had to throw up, but I was so dizzy I could hardly get to the bathroom. I called to my parents for help, they helped me to the bathroom, my skin burning and red and my muscles week. I thought I was having a massive allergic reaction to something and said I needed a ride to the emergency room.
Then Mom remembered I just started the Niaspan. She read the side-effects: flushing, headache, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, increased cough, and itching. Flushing. I had read that before but for some reason I assumed it meant the kind of red face and mildly uncomfortable hotness I get from some tartar sauces. I did NOT expect to feel like my skin was on being covered in flame-tipped needles. Or be hanging over my head over the toilet, aching like I had the flu.
Apparently my body and Niaspan do NOT get along. I threw them away and I won't be taking it again. But I was able to take something for the Nausea and sleep at least. All today (because, yay, the pills were EXTENDED RELEASE) I have felt like crap, but not AS much like crap as earlier.
This is the 2nd worst medical reaction in my life. Maybe even equal to the worst time. The Neurologist, my old neurologist, ordered me the wrong dosage on a pill... FOUR TIMES the right amount, and it caused an actual "trip." Like hallucinations that my ceiling was dripping with thick pink paint and my stuffed animals dancing around, erratically. IT WAS TERRIFYING.
Okay, actually, this was the 2nd or 3rd. The worst was after the Sphenopalatine block. They dripped some numbing stuff in my nose and I couldn't walk, with out falling down or throwing up ALL DAY. It felt like when I had West Nile on the mission, but WORSE.
I hate hate hate pills. I hate being sick. I hate being me.
Then Mom remembered I just started the Niaspan. She read the side-effects: flushing, headache, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, increased cough, and itching. Flushing. I had read that before but for some reason I assumed it meant the kind of red face and mildly uncomfortable hotness I get from some tartar sauces. I did NOT expect to feel like my skin was on being covered in flame-tipped needles. Or be hanging over my head over the toilet, aching like I had the flu.Apparently my body and Niaspan do NOT get along. I threw them away and I won't be taking it again. But I was able to take something for the Nausea and sleep at least. All today (because, yay, the pills were EXTENDED RELEASE) I have felt like crap, but not AS much like crap as earlier.
This is the 2nd worst medical reaction in my life. Maybe even equal to the worst time. The Neurologist, my old neurologist, ordered me the wrong dosage on a pill... FOUR TIMES the right amount, and it caused an actual "trip." Like hallucinations that my ceiling was dripping with thick pink paint and my stuffed animals dancing around, erratically. IT WAS TERRIFYING.
Okay, actually, this was the 2nd or 3rd. The worst was after the Sphenopalatine block. They dripped some numbing stuff in my nose and I couldn't walk, with out falling down or throwing up ALL DAY. It felt like when I had West Nile on the mission, but WORSE.
I hate hate hate pills. I hate being sick. I hate being me.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I hope they call me on a non-existant mission, when I have saved an amphibious kangaroo or 2!
Serving a LDS mission is awesome. You get to share your testimony, meet cool people and serve good causes (like teaching English as a second language, shelve library books, visit rest homes, etc.) Sometimes I really miss it.
AAAAAND sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and really miss ANOTHER mission. Where we spent the holidays with the Amish kids from that Lifetime movie... and their crazy grandmother, Cloris Leachman. Where we all went together to rock concerts/Karaoke where the Amish girls performed Les Mis and Hannha Montana, respectively. Where they all made us missionaries elaborate beaded Nativity sets that we treasured. Where they helped us get in volunteer hours by fostering and rehabilitating bear cub, giant ducks, and ummm... kangaroo who live in lakes.
Yeah, my brain is so warped. At least it wasn't a nightmare. I am actually on meds to prevent nightmares. Crazy. )I refer to the situation AND myself)
AAAAAND sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and really miss ANOTHER mission. Where we spent the holidays with the Amish kids from that Lifetime movie... and their crazy grandmother, Cloris Leachman. Where we all went together to rock concerts/Karaoke where the Amish girls performed Les Mis and Hannha Montana, respectively. Where they all made us missionaries elaborate beaded Nativity sets that we treasured. Where they helped us get in volunteer hours by fostering and rehabilitating bear cub, giant ducks, and ummm... kangaroo who live in lakes.
Yeah, my brain is so warped. At least it wasn't a nightmare. I am actually on meds to prevent nightmares. Crazy. )I refer to the situation AND myself)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
You've got my numb-er
I am watching Fable the Chinchilla going to town on a piece of cholla wood as my Loritab sets in at last. I had to go to the dentist today. NOT Dr. Voldemort, thank goodness. I cried as I walked in I was so scared. We told him about the numbing stuff not working but he was sure it would. I was so afraid I was shaking the whole time. But it worked, it is a REALLY good thing it did because I needed a small dental surgery. They cut into the outside of the gums and cut away the bottom of the roots and then stitched it up. It hurts a lot now, but it had to be done and I GOT NUMB! I am so grateful. I am still not sure what happened last time. I was in a lot of pain before going and sometimes if you hurt enough that can make it hard to get numb, so maybe that was it, but it was just crazy.
But now the numbing is definitely wearing off and so I have to be on heavy pain meds. The stitches in my mouth are kind of bugging the heck out of me, though. And meds are making me tired. I hate them. But I am also very thankful for them. I just wish they didn't make me feel tired and nauseous.
I feel a little like a vet tech already. Clementine has retained shed on her eyes. It is really bad and can lead to infection. So every day I have to rub her eyeballs with saline solution from my glider 1st aid kit we made at Mountain West Pocket Critters Conference. Trying to soften the eyecap. She hates it so much, but I want her to be able to see. She is having trouble hunting and eating. But it is really taking a step back taming her. I mean how is she suposed to like me when I am poking her in the eye every day?! I don't blame her.
But now the numbing is definitely wearing off and so I have to be on heavy pain meds. The stitches in my mouth are kind of bugging the heck out of me, though. And meds are making me tired. I hate them. But I am also very thankful for them. I just wish they didn't make me feel tired and nauseous.
I feel a little like a vet tech already. Clementine has retained shed on her eyes. It is really bad and can lead to infection. So every day I have to rub her eyeballs with saline solution from my glider 1st aid kit we made at Mountain West Pocket Critters Conference. Trying to soften the eyecap. She hates it so much, but I want her to be able to see. She is having trouble hunting and eating. But it is really taking a step back taming her. I mean how is she suposed to like me when I am poking her in the eye every day?! I don't blame her.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
of head and heart.
SO. TIRED. OF. HEADACHE.
It's been like a freaking month. My temples are pounding and I am watching Covert Affairs
and Psych
with my mom while crazy Fable runs around like a grasshopper on speed. He is SUCH a little boy in a chinchilla suit. But dumb. CUTE, but just NOT smart. He can not understand his exercise wheel 
and it took him an hour to get the ball
. Though it is really darling to see him walk in it. He looks like a giant mouse.
Anyway, distractions are good, but they aren't really working completely. Nor is the muscle relaxant and Loritab. Sleep doesn't help... nor does it come often or for long. My temples... the back of my head... both feel like I may explode from the head up. So I write. Examiner's site is being sketchy but I am still writing there and Suite101. I also just WRITE. Write here. Write in my paper journal. Currently it's the one with a Yellow Submarin
e cover, the trippy cartoon Beatles chillin' in the front. I got it at the Mirage.
I want to go to Vegas again. It's been awhile and I need to visit the newest tigers, Mohan and Majestic.
NO.
I want to go. to. Spain.
THAT is my singular traveling goal. Get a passport. Go to Spain. Spend some real time with Ola. I am almost 100% sure I am in true love with MyNigerian. But we need to meet in real life to BE 100%. And I need to know that. WE need to know that. Because if it's as true as it feels now, then, well, we want it forever. <3 Yeah, sappy but true.
It's been like a freaking month. My temples are pounding and I am watching Covert Affairs
and Psych with my mom while crazy Fable runs around like a grasshopper on speed. He is SUCH a little boy in a chinchilla suit. But dumb. CUTE, but just NOT smart. He can not understand his exercise wheel and it took him an hour to get the ball. Though it is really darling to see him walk in it. He looks like a giant mouse.Anyway, distractions are good, but they aren't really working completely. Nor is the muscle relaxant and Loritab. Sleep doesn't help... nor does it come often or for long. My temples... the back of my head... both feel like I may explode from the head up. So I write. Examiner's site is being sketchy but I am still writing there and Suite101. I also just WRITE. Write here. Write in my paper journal. Currently it's the one with a Yellow Submarin
e cover, the trippy cartoon Beatles chillin' in the front. I got it at the Mirage.I want to go to Vegas again. It's been awhile and I need to visit the newest tigers, Mohan and Majestic.
NO.
I want to go. to. Spain.
THAT is my singular traveling goal. Get a passport. Go to Spain. Spend some real time with Ola. I am almost 100% sure I am in true love with MyNigerian. But we need to meet in real life to BE 100%. And I need to know that. WE need to know that. Because if it's as true as it feels now, then, well, we want it forever. <3 Yeah, sappy but true.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
my brain... in the family way
no, not THAT. Heh heh. That'd be pretty tricky minus the sex. Makes me think of Glee, though, and how she was faking with that baby bump. (WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW?! HE KNOWS!!!)
I am just thinking about family right now. Part of this is because I am attempting to cobble together a more complete family tree for a project via Facebook's FamilyLink.com and LDS.org's FamilySearch.org combined.
Part is because Megs texted me her hubby was very sick and I am worried about him. Megs is my bestfriend and cousin and Jake is easily among my favorite cousins-in-law. He is a great guy. I am praying for things to go well, but I hate any time anyone is in the hospital.
I know that feeling.
*I* am in the hospital enough. Tonight I am on heavy meds as I am hurting badly. I don't want ANYONE I love to feel like this. Not ever.
I want to know my cousins more... and my cousins' kids and all of the various relations. I want to KNOW my family better than I do. I feel THAT more keenly than any pull to know my ancestors. I mean, they are alive. They have lives and needs NOW. I want to have them as friends. Facebook helps. But I need to learn more. And actually freaking remember who is who.
I am just thinking about family right now. Part of this is because I am attempting to cobble together a more complete family tree for a project via Facebook's FamilyLink.com and LDS.org's FamilySearch.org combined.
Part is because Megs texted me her hubby was very sick and I am worried about him. Megs is my bestfriend and cousin and Jake is easily among my favorite cousins-in-law. He is a great guy. I am praying for things to go well, but I hate any time anyone is in the hospital.
I know that feeling.
*I* am in the hospital enough. Tonight I am on heavy meds as I am hurting badly. I don't want ANYONE I love to feel like this. Not ever.
I want to know my cousins more... and my cousins' kids and all of the various relations. I want to KNOW my family better than I do. I feel THAT more keenly than any pull to know my ancestors. I mean, they are alive. They have lives and needs NOW. I want to have them as friends. Facebook helps. But I need to learn more. And actually freaking remember who is who.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Part... yeah... Never mind.
Part... yeah... Never mind.
I am not finishing my vacation entry or Christmas, or anything.
Cirque Du Soleil (Ka) was freaking amazing. Blue Man Group was uncomfortably hilarious but gave Germaphobe Rinny a pretty bad anxiety attack because they buried us in toilet paper. And I got a Grey tree frog for Christmas and named her Costanza.
That's all you get. Now I am going to attempt to move on and blog every so often, starting with the quiz I got on Facebook about 25 Random things.
I am not finishing my vacation entry or Christmas, or anything.
Cirque Du Soleil (Ka) was freaking amazing. Blue Man Group was uncomfortably hilarious but gave Germaphobe Rinny a pretty bad anxiety attack because they buried us in toilet paper. And I got a Grey tree frog for Christmas and named her Costanza.
That's all you get. Now I am going to attempt to move on and blog every so often, starting with the quiz I got on Facebook about 25 Random things.
RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
[Or you tagged me, like a zillion years ago and I am finally getting to it. Sorry I suck so much!]
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs (+) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1) I have recently begun really considering my 3 sugar gliders my children. I always CALLED them my babies. But I recently realized that my love for them has reached the level of "Crazy Cat Lady" and I do, in fact, consider them my children. My tortoise and turtle are eeking close to actual child-ship as well. Is it because I will soon be 30?
2) I turn 30 in April.
3) I used to blog a lot. Now I am back going to the Doctors a lot. Blogging is much cheaper, but I just seem to have lost my ability to complete my thoughts and so I start entries and don't finish them. So I quit. It makes me cry. I know it's dumb to cry about blogging. But it was better than therapy and therapy isn't working. And I still can't finish my thoughts so...
4) I saw the Blue Man Group in Vegas. It was very funny BUT Rinny kind of freaked because they covered us in Toilet Paper. That was not as much funny as stressful. I know that feeling too well.
5) I hate elevators and they give me panic attacks sometimes.6) I think Capybaras are the coolest animals since sugar gliders and someday TOTALLY want one as a pet!!!
7) I am ALWAYS reading something. If I don't have a book I am in at the moment I feel utterly lost.
8) I feel like I gave a piece of my heart away when I had to give Josie, my goat, to that nice lady with a farm. Even though I was giving her an awesome life. I know that it will sound insulting to them, so I won't tell them, when I hear women talk about giving up a child for adoption inside I want to say "I know how you feel. EXACTLY how you feel." and cry. But they would hate me.
9) I recently found out after a year of the first med that has ever given me ANY kind of LIVABLE life with my pain that it has been causing my teeth to rot and I now have 16 cavities. I still WILL take it... because I can't NOT. But, seriously? 16 cavities? My teeth are breaking out of my mouth? I have a prescription toothpaste now? Can I not catch a break EVER?!
10) I like water aerobics... MOST days
11) I have an apartment with an awesome roommate who has adorable dogs and takes care of my shell babies... and I don't LIVE there. I live at my parents' house.
12) I love off-roading but there is nowhere decent to do it here.
13) I mostly listen to Christian Rock ALL the time... then will randomly turn for 10 minutes to the angriest, darkest alternative music ever. Weird.
14) I have 3 bettas and each HAD a "pet" snail. This week one of the snails (Michael Phish Phelps' snail, China) died. And I cried for a solid half hour.
15) I bought a Gray Tree Frog for Christmas and named her Costanza. Now I would totally love to buy her a boyfriend!
16) I still miss my ex-boyfriend "Fresno." It's been LONG ENOUGH to be WAY over him. And I AM. I just also... miss having someone to play with and feeling cute and funny.
17) I LOVE MY JOB. I rarely GO, but I LOVE it. If I could do it more, and get, like paid for it more, it would be perfection. My job at Thanksgiving Point, but full-time, WOULD be my dream job.
18) My little Brother is coming home from Italy MARCH 13th and I am so freaking excited!!!!!!! I sort of idolize the BoyKid.
19) My little sister is my BOSS at work! And it is her birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RINNY!!!
20) I have an undying crush on Perry Mason.
21) I almost ALWAYS have my suggies with me. At present they are all 3 in a pouch in my shirt.
22) My glider Heber is partially named after a Plyg relative of Coats' Heebs' whole name is Heber Lyman Nestor the Molester (the Molester Part is NOT from Coats' Fam!)
23) I love Photography. I take at least 10 pictures a day... most nobody sees as I just save them and decide what to do with them later. And yes, I admit, MOST are of my gliders. Hee hee!
24) I miss the Fringe. The Fringe is a group of 4 of us in the mission (Coats, Parker, and Lil' Jeppsen) and now includes the Fringe-in-laws Risa Parker and Uhh... Mrs. Jeppsen and the MiniFringe their kiddlets. We are awesome friends. Coats and I remain single. She does things like join the Army and Skydive. I do things like... umm 1- 24. hee hee!
25)<-- is one of my 3 favorite numbers. The other 2 are 7 and 222. "The Boys are Back!"
Thursday, September 11, 2008
At least the weather is nice...
Today I did so many PEOPLE THINGS! Like SOCIAL! Okay 2! That's "so many" right now, okay?
Yesterday was Doctor Day. I had an MRI on my stupid lower back. I had an appointment with Doogie Howser, my OBGYN. And I met my Psychiatrist, Dr. Rx. She was all no-nonsense and not much the TALKIE type... I have a psychologist, Dr. Jen, the New Dr. Apparently, for that. Dr. Jen is REALLY nice. I like her a lot! Dr. Rx, is good, too. And we are going to try some things. *sigh* Then I had physical therapy and really got worked over.
Today was GROUP Therapy for Chronic Pain people. I have never been to a Group Therapy thing but both the Psychologist and Psychiatrist really suggested it. So I wanted to try. And the group leader, well one of them, was my social worker lady, Half Pint, who I really like. It was good I went. It was good stuff... but kinda hard.
Not as hard as Relief Society, though. Why is that SO HARD? It's hard. Really bad. The headaches and the back stuff... those chairs just shred my nerves. It hurts so bad. And then the stupid stuff. Not knowing people. I start getting so stressed and nervous being there with people... I get so embarrassed to be there. Because people can TELL. Like they all have to come over and say "are you okay?" and I want them to ignore me. I want to disapear. And yet I want to belong. I know that makes NO SENSE. But that's where I am right now.
I DID stay the whole time.
But I cried on the car ride home.
Grrrr....
Anyway. I have been purposley avoiding watching any news shows about 9-11 today. I had a hard time when they mentioned the tragedy at the church thing. I am torn. I would be angry if the world forgot about 9-11. Ignored it, and those we lost. I would be furious. But let the WORLD remember.... let ME forget... right now. I am too iffy emotional right now to get on a dark spiral thinking about Brady, you know? But I do remember... I'm just CAN'T think yet. Not now. Okay?
Yesterday was Doctor Day. I had an MRI on my stupid lower back. I had an appointment with Doogie Howser, my OBGYN. And I met my Psychiatrist, Dr. Rx. She was all no-nonsense and not much the TALKIE type... I have a psychologist, Dr. Jen, the New Dr. Apparently, for that. Dr. Jen is REALLY nice. I like her a lot! Dr. Rx, is good, too. And we are going to try some things. *sigh* Then I had physical therapy and really got worked over.
Today was GROUP Therapy for Chronic Pain people. I have never been to a Group Therapy thing but both the Psychologist and Psychiatrist really suggested it. So I wanted to try. And the group leader, well one of them, was my social worker lady, Half Pint, who I really like. It was good I went. It was good stuff... but kinda hard.Not as hard as Relief Society, though. Why is that SO HARD? It's hard. Really bad. The headaches and the back stuff... those chairs just shred my nerves. It hurts so bad. And then the stupid stuff. Not knowing people. I start getting so stressed and nervous being there with people... I get so embarrassed to be there. Because people can TELL. Like they all have to come over and say "are you okay?" and I want them to ignore me. I want to disapear. And yet I want to belong. I know that makes NO SENSE. But that's where I am right now.
I DID stay the whole time.
But I cried on the car ride home.
Grrrr....
Anyway. I have been purposley avoiding watching any news shows about 9-11 today. I had a hard time when they mentioned the tragedy at the church thing. I am torn. I would be angry if the world forgot about 9-11. Ignored it, and those we lost. I would be furious. But let the WORLD remember.... let ME forget... right now. I am too iffy emotional right now to get on a dark spiral thinking about Brady, you know? But I do remember... I'm just CAN'T think yet. Not now. Okay?
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Pioneering New Steps as a Big Girl for Josie... and Oscar the Grouch's on Dope?
Pioneer Day (here in Utah and elsewhere for the LDS Church) and this year was a definite day for some Pioneering of our own. A day of firsts, both bad and good.
Oh sure, RINNY BEGAN celebrating in HER way (Pioneer Day (and Saint Patrick's Day) is one of the most important and exciting holidays in the Pink and Fluffy RinnyWorld... she wraps her hair in rag curls the day before, dresses in pioneer dresses all day, bakes bread all day, and drives us nuts playing the Trail of Dreams soundtrack (she played the first Bodil Mortensen... well, first except the real one, in pioneer times. HA!) on repeat at top volume. But ended up being uncharacteristically brave and leaving on a weekend camping/hiking/river rafting trip in Idaho surrounding the Twin Falls Temple open house! I am proud of her.
My little "foster kid" however, is not doing so well. Actually, pretty much feeling like if we WERE Pioneers, I might be one of those moms burying their babies by the side of the trail and I was crying and crying. When Josie was sick before, she had a stomach thing. Her little premie stomach just couldn't handle the food she thought she was ready for and it made her very sick. But this was... well, IS... worse. She has a very scary infection under where her horns were. She screams in pain when you accidentally touch her head. I took her to work and the top farm workers told me to put Preparation-H on it to draw out infection and just keep an eye on it. But after that... she started losing balance. And then, Wednesday or so she was SLEEPING ALL DAY. Lethargy is NOT a Josie thing. She is the most hyper critter EVER!
I had NO confidence in Preparation-H solving something like THIS. I was pretty sure being all sleepy like that meant it was systemic and spreading. AND I knew she needed to see a vet and get an antibiotic before I REALLY lost my baby along the "trail." So, since I was not actually able to drive right now, Mom came with and we took off for the farm to get little Josie and her yucky pussy head taken care of.
But before we got very far we saw thick billowing smoke coming from a under the lid of a household dumpster! It was in front of a neighbor's house and we stopped in front looking at it. It was sort of a yellowish color. I pulled over and went to the house to knock on the door and tell the homeowners, but they weren't there. I went to the can and my mom yelled "be careful, what if it explodes?!" but I felt the side of the can and it was hot but not super hat, so I stood BEHIND it so if I lifted the lid nothing would, like, make my head burst into flames. But there was a LOT of smoke coming from a black trash bag and it was very thick and yellow and smelled POISONOUS, so I dropped the lid and headed back to the Jeep to breathe. (I suspect it was something scary and flammable left in too hot of sun that started.) My mom said "what should we do? Should we just check on it when we get back from the farm?" and (this is where I feel quite proud of me) I said, "No, we call the FIRE DEPARTMENT!"
"Like the fire department?"
"Yeah, Mom!"
"Oh, I don't know if we can do that!"
So I picked up my phone and called. I told them the address. They asked the color of the smoke. They asked the distance of the can from the house. And they said that a fire engine was on it's way but that an officer was right by and would come immediately. He arrived and told us "we don't know what is burning in there, so let's have you guys parked further back at a safe distance." Then he talked to us and told us to actually leave the street, so we asked if we could just GO because as curious as we were to see the END of the story, as fire engines were roaring up, the people at the farm who could help Josie were going to LEAVE at 3 and I was really worried about my kid. He said we could and I left unfulfilled. But still... pretty crazy, eh?!
Well, Josie's little check up with WeatheredLeatheredFarmLady was good because she agreed that Josie was very ill and needed further treatment and BAD because she needed to get permission to have a vet see her from our favorite person Sgary.
HATEHIMHATEHIMHATEHIM.
He won't pay for vets or medicine for any but the "profitable" animals and we have "plenty" of goat kids and "if she dies, she dies."
Yes, THOSE WORDS.
However, WLFL said she did have some penicillin left over from another animal and could call up a vet friend for an un-official diagnosis and dosage. We did so and started injections. They hurt her pretty bad and she screamed QUITE loud. Poor little baby.
But after that things got better and she impressed me with 3 HUGE milestones!
When we got home Josie, though still very sick and sleepy, 1. ate (actually ate, swallowed, not just chewed on!) a substantial amount of hay! 2. stole an apricot and ATE IT!!! 3. DRANK WATER FROM A BOWL FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!!!!
When she drank that water, I started to cry. Because I knew that even if it was going to be very very hard (and it likely was) that the MANY prayers I had said this week had gotten through and that Heavenly Father was telling me that Josie really COULD get through this and be weaned and generally things WOULD be okay.
It's just all really hard. I love this Goat.
Happy [and SAD!] Pioneer Day!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Broke, Broken <3ed, and Breaking Away
A couple a days ago I had a "disagreement" with Padre as usual... but this one went somewhere. My Palm Pilot died and I bought another.He saw it at church and looked up online how much it cost and decided it was way too much. He did the same thing about my camera.
He freaked out.
*I* freaked out back and told him I used my OWN money so it should not matter to him.
His answer was, as usual, that as dependent as I am on them, I DO NOT HAVE "MY OWN" MONEY.
I have heard this before. Mom and I have talked about it and I have said how I WANT to be, essentially CUT OFF just so it is none of the padres' business what I spend it on and be independent. But between how much my medications cost and how little I can work sometimes because of my medical problems, being even REMOTELY financially independent was just not a possibility.
Okay, here is what has changed. I finally got accepted to Medicaid for prescriptions. Therefore, $3 for stuff I used to pay $300 for. I can do that. Therefore, we had a little talk and I said stay out and he said not while I am responsible blah blah BLAH so I said you are NOT.
So, I will see how long my independence can withstand on a part-time job and a lot of pain. But I think it is a good thing. Anyway, I needed to do it (though my mom doesn't agree and is sad FOR me and dad is furious at AT me.). And except for rent right now because mom said dad is not going to charge me rent, I am paying my own way FINALLY. At least... as long as I can. Just may shop as often or ever leave my house.
The Broken Heart part of all this is just DUMB. There is a guy who's done bird shows for us before. He helped with the owls. He is cool (probably married, but whatever.) and funny and has a bunch of awesome birds (I know that's not a turn on for normal people, but hey, I have sugar gliders for children and carry a baby goat with me when I go shopping.). And, even thoough it is hard to tell in the owl slides he also happens to be rather cute and look like Fresno.
So he comes over to us while we are cleaning up after robotics yesterday and starts chatting with me and I am talking all comfortable and sort of flirty. Then I get in the car and see myself in the mirror as I LOOK after a whole day of day camp of 11-14 year old boys and plaster of paris and 100 degree weather and catching tadpoles. I started to bawl.I looked like crap on a crap pile and felt worse. The idea that I 1. talked to a boy pretty much because he looked like Fresno 2. still ever think about Fresno and 3. talked to a boy looking like me... being me. Yeah, I know how emo that is. But that's what I was feeling.
Followed that up with a really hard appointment with Dr. Apparently. Cried a bunch there. Like, non-stop. Went home with the puffiest red eyes, and my muscles aching. I cried into little Josie's fur and she cheered me up with her antics.
Seriously, that kid is hilarious. She just DANCES everywhere. She is a little beautiful animal. She plays on everything and play fights with anyone that moves. We play and she makes me giggle and stuff. What can I say? Little critters cure a host of ills... at least for an hour or so.
Makes me feel better about my plans to be a single "crazy cat lady" (but not with cats, with everything else) the rest of my life. Josie is adorable. My gliders are too. And I love my turtles and other critters mean a lot to me too. My little zoo is my solace.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
HIGH on a Mountain Top...
I have been hurting a lot lately and haven't been IN to work, but HAVE been working. Fairchild Challenge. *screams* HOWEVER, I have to admit I have spent even MORE hours campaigning against a bill in a state that I don't even live in. Because it involves Sugar Gliders, but also, it is just a BAD BILL. And I have friends in Missouri and I just... I have kind of become obsessed with not letting it pass. I have been flooding message boards and email with info. Writing letters to the editor of news papers in Missouri (where it is) and contacting pet stores and politicians around there. Anyway, yeah. Listen, House Bill 1847 basically bans ALL birds, most reptiles, and several small mammals like gliders, Degus, and maybe ones like rats and stuff for the whole state of Missouri. And if we get all Millennial and we end up having to move there I better damn well be able to bring my babies with me. Anywhoo... If this sounds at ALL like something important to you look at my other blog, Tails from the Ark, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and DO something.
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On (Good) Friday I went to the temple! I haven't been in a REALLY long time. It was a very very good thing to do considering it is the week to remember the Resurrection of the Savior (not that we shouldn't remember ANYWAY, but you know what I mean!)! Rinny, the Righteous One was the one who instigated it, and Mom and I came with. However, I probably really shouldn't have. Even with a LOT of meds... and I mean a lot... INCLUDING the one that gave me a bad trip last time (but a much MUCH smaller dose) I was hurting a lot. Also I was scared I was going to be, like, stoned... in the Temple. I felt sick the whole time and it was hard to pay any attention and fell asleep, not just during, uhh, quiet times, but actually while DOING things. In fact, once I fell asleep while I was standing. A Leeeeetle scary.
So it probably wasn't wise to go right now. My mom thought so anyway. But it was good, too. So, sometimes good cancels out unwise. Hee hee! Anyway, I am kind of paying for it more now. There is something bad happening in my leg right now. I am pretty sure my thigh wants to kill me. STUPID LEG. But yay for the gospel!
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[removed by request of my mom... who read it... and was mentioned... and also thinks I may potentially hurt feelings of family members so, yeah. Sorry to Mom. And her sister and brother in law even though I have NO idea why they would ever stumble upon this entry or even this blog. * And private mom stuff has been eliminated. I really AM sorry]
So, I need to be more righteous! (Because I need a buncha blessings and need to be worthy of them and all I got right now is VERY occasional temple attendance and, hey! I updated my spiritual blog!
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Easter was good-ish. Rinny came over (to the Padre's. Because that's where I am right now. *SIGH*) and I brought over Bratanik, too. We decorated HIS shell (just with stickers for pics for BoyKid. Don't call PETA! Hee hee!) as well as eggs. It was fun. We were VEEEERY creative. We had dinner. We read The Living Christ together. Dad gave Rinny a blessing of safety in preparation for her upcoming business trip to Seattle. Then Dad gave us a random moralistic Lecture involving enduring till the end, toddlers, and stuffed bunnies that sort of just ended with me being really pissed off, which is NOT how I want to feel after hearing a priesthood blessing but, well, that's Dad.
It's a good thing I like dying eggs a lot!
*You are not really a doormat and slime. (it was an analogy ;O) )
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On (Good) Friday I went to the temple! I haven't been in a REALLY long time. It was a very very good thing to do considering it is the week to remember the Resurrection of the Savior (not that we shouldn't remember ANYWAY, but you know what I mean!)! Rinny, the Righteous One was the one who instigated it, and Mom and I came with. However, I probably really shouldn't have. Even with a LOT of meds... and I mean a lot... INCLUDING the one that gave me a bad trip last time (but a much MUCH smaller dose) I was hurting a lot. Also I was scared I was going to be, like, stoned... in the Temple. I felt sick the whole time and it was hard to pay any attention and fell asleep, not just during, uhh, quiet times, but actually while DOING things. In fact, once I fell asleep while I was standing. A Leeeeetle scary.So it probably wasn't wise to go right now. My mom thought so anyway. But it was good, too. So, sometimes good cancels out unwise. Hee hee! Anyway, I am kind of paying for it more now. There is something bad happening in my leg right now. I am pretty sure my thigh wants to kill me. STUPID LEG. But yay for the gospel!
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[removed by request of my mom... who read it... and was mentioned... and also thinks I may potentially hurt feelings of family members so, yeah. Sorry to Mom. And her sister and brother in law even though I have NO idea why they would ever stumble upon this entry or even this blog. * And private mom stuff has been eliminated. I really AM sorry]
So, I need to be more righteous! (Because I need a buncha blessings and need to be worthy of them and all I got right now is VERY occasional temple attendance and, hey! I updated my spiritual blog!
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Easter was good-ish. Rinny came over (to the Padre's. Because that's where I am right now. *SIGH*) and I brought over Bratanik, too. We decorated HIS shell (just with stickers for pics for BoyKid. Don't call PETA! Hee hee!) as well as eggs. It was fun. We were VEEEERY creative. We had dinner. We read The Living Christ together. Dad gave Rinny a blessing of safety in preparation for her upcoming business trip to Seattle. Then Dad gave us a random moralistic Lecture involving enduring till the end, toddlers, and stuffed bunnies that sort of just ended with me being really pissed off, which is NOT how I want to feel after hearing a priesthood blessing but, well, that's Dad.It's a good thing I like dying eggs a lot!
*You are not really a doormat and slime. (it was an analogy ;O) )
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Go Ask Alice?
Oh you guys, could my life get any weirder?
I DON'T have the flu, I have drug interactions. And the culmination of it all? Tuesday night I had actual Alice-in-Wonderland-style Hallucinations and ended up in the emergency room, barely able to walk. SCARIEST. THING. EVER.
There was pink paint coming down from my ceiling. Things in my room were wiggling. There was a whirlpool in my wall. My soap dish was jumping. More paint dripping from the ceiling. Nightmare while awake, with all the lights ON. My muscles were rigid and I couldn't walk. I tried to close my eyes, but it didn't stop. I saw squirming colors. Like worms. It was almost worse. Bawling, I called my parents who took me to the ER. We came armed with every pill I had to let them see what might be interacting or if I had Serotonin Syndrome. I was there for awhile. They gave me a shot (in my butt) that counteracted the crazy pills, but for some reason made me hurt really bad at the same time, and VERY sleepy. They let me go home, under supervision. So I have been at the padres' till now. But I still am being VERY careful. It was SCAAAAAARY. And yucky. And I still feel like crap. But at least the paint is staying where it should.
I DON'T have the flu, I have drug interactions. And the culmination of it all? Tuesday night I had actual Alice-in-Wonderland-style Hallucinations and ended up in the emergency room, barely able to walk. SCARIEST. THING. EVER.
There was pink paint coming down from my ceiling. Things in my room were wiggling. There was a whirlpool in my wall. My soap dish was jumping. More paint dripping from the ceiling. Nightmare while awake, with all the lights ON. My muscles were rigid and I couldn't walk. I tried to close my eyes, but it didn't stop. I saw squirming colors. Like worms. It was almost worse. Bawling, I called my parents who took me to the ER. We came armed with every pill I had to let them see what might be interacting or if I had Serotonin Syndrome. I was there for awhile. They gave me a shot (in my butt) that counteracted the crazy pills, but for some reason made me hurt really bad at the same time, and VERY sleepy. They let me go home, under supervision. So I have been at the padres' till now. But I still am being VERY careful. It was SCAAAAAARY. And yucky. And I still feel like crap. But at least the paint is staying where it should.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
this is a sad day!
I have a fever today (and the only cure is MORE COWBELL!!!) which is PROBABLY, almost for SURE, because yesterday I came down with some flu thing and I have been sick all day. HOWEVER, because I almost JUST upped the dosage of Cymbalta and WAS on Celexa the same time, I am being watched for the very scary Serotonin Syndrome. Cymbalta made me sick at first anyway, but I got over it. I think it just is doing it again for going to the next dose. But it has been decided I will STOP, not taper off, the Celexa... just in case.Anyway, right now I feel like crap.
Also, earlier tonight Steph called me and asked if I was watching TV (I wasn't. I was laying in bed, feeling like crap.) because they had just announced that President Gordon B. Hinckley, the prophet of our Church, had died. I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I know this sounds weird, but he felt like a GRANDPA to me. Not just the leader of a church, but someone I truly loved. On the other hand I am so happy for him. He has got to be overjoyed to be back with his sweetheart Marjorie again.Another sad thing I remember today is the Challenger. It meant a lot to me because at the time I was in kindergarten and obsessed with the idea of being an Astronaut. They let us watch the launch in class. And then all that happened. It also meant a lot in my family because my Uncle Bob worked on parts of that Shuttle and when it happened people in his neighborhood blamed him and some still do. They were horrible to his family. It was really sad.
Anyway, to a nerdy kid like me, this was a really really memorable day. I cried and cried. Our teacher cried, too. She had talked SO much about how one of the astronauts, Christa McAuliffe, was a teacher. Anyway, just a little bit of history for ya.
It is Sunday, and I intended to go to church, but to the Padres' ward, where I have decided to go awhile. But this cold/flu/black plague thing I have going stopped me from going to ANY ward today. Or, basically, any room besides my bedroom and bathroom. I spent most of today asleep
though, drifting in and out. I have gone upstairs exactly once. The Roomie and her boyfriend are sorta spooning up there and 1. I don't want to interrupt and 2. I don't want to make anyone sick and 3. I haven't gotten DRESSED all day either.Oh, the Legislator's Night Schmoozing went okay the other night. Not good, but fine. Most didn't even come over to us unless they had kids or grand kids who wanted to do it. And we decided on making cornstarch plastic instead of seed necklaces this year. Some were impressed. Others, not so much. As always, Dave is our hero and ran the show, schmoozed while secretly mocking and called us rockstars. We *heart* Dave! Anyway, glad that's over, even though we ate some of the mighty yummy finger foods once the majority of the big wigs went into the Dinosaur Movie. It was a long day for this medically-frustrated part-timer.
It is going to storm AGAIN. Even though this fever has my face on fire, I really am sick of feeling like I live in a freaking igloo. ENOUGH WITH THE SNOW! EXCEPT that I heard that the DROUGHT HAS OFFICIALLY ENDED! I kind of didn't know that would EVER happen in Utah. I mean, not REALLY end. So I better stop whining about the cold and snow. But still... BRRR!
Anyway, I am going to cross my fingers that the snugglers are done so I can grab some grub for the gliders and go to bed... even though that's where I have been all day. Good night.
p.s. The Roomie is very good and Moral and I am not saying HER Spooning will lead to ANYTHING.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
"Do you want to color a Dinosaur, Senator?"
Today I had therapy with Dr. Apparently. WHY is it that the only people who seem to be able to help me with my medical issues don't have actual medical degrees?! I mean my physical therapist is the BEST (if only my insurance helped with him) and is REALLY who "diagnosed" that crazy headache thing awhile ago, that Dr.YeahBaby could fix... and Dr. Apparently is a Psychologist, but I think he understands more than ANY of my doctors and pretty much told me what to tell them to try for meds.
Yep.
Anyway, I really like Dr. Apparently. But I do NOT like therapy. I think it helps... or WILL help... but I think it hurts. It actually HURTS to talk about some stuff, you know?
But I go. I like, though, that he doesn't JUST talk "fluff." He KNOWS medical stuff, and he talks it. That's his specialty... coping with chronic pain and we talk about the science of it. Things like my low thyroid and Fibromyalgia. We'll see. I just want to feel GOOD for a change. Healthy... moderately happy. You know?
After my appointment I went to work, though. It was a Educator Night. BLEH. It was not very good. But it was better than I expect TOMORROW to be. LEGISLATOR NIGHT. I am NOT excited to teach a bunch of politicians how to make seed necklaces and stuff. In truth I am so nervous I am sick. But there are almost NONE of us available that night to do so, so there is no getting out of it. I don't know what I am going to do. I am so scared. I hate adults. Especially official ones.
Anyway, on the way home, Rinny called. Her battery died. So turned back and jumped her car. But DANG IT IS COLD OUT THERE!!! I mean, it was cold ANYWAY, but the wind starts whipping around out there at TGP and you just FREEZE. It was so cold while we tried to fix that car. When will it ever get warm?
For that matter, when will I feel happier?
Hurt less?
I know... give things time. New pills. Life changes. But... I have been ME a long time.
Yep.
Anyway, I really like Dr. Apparently. But I do NOT like therapy. I think it helps... or WILL help... but I think it hurts. It actually HURTS to talk about some stuff, you know?
But I go. I like, though, that he doesn't JUST talk "fluff." He KNOWS medical stuff, and he talks it. That's his specialty... coping with chronic pain and we talk about the science of it. Things like my low thyroid and Fibromyalgia. We'll see. I just want to feel GOOD for a change. Healthy... moderately happy. You know?
After my appointment I went to work, though. It was a Educator Night. BLEH. It was not very good. But it was better than I expect TOMORROW to be. LEGISLATOR NIGHT. I am NOT excited to teach a bunch of politicians how to make seed necklaces and stuff. In truth I am so nervous I am sick. But there are almost NONE of us available that night to do so, so there is no getting out of it. I don't know what I am going to do. I am so scared. I hate adults. Especially official ones.
Anyway, on the way home, Rinny called. Her battery died. So turned back and jumped her car. But DANG IT IS COLD OUT THERE!!! I mean, it was cold ANYWAY, but the wind starts whipping around out there at TGP and you just FREEZE. It was so cold while we tried to fix that car. When will it ever get warm?
For that matter, when will I feel happier?
Hurt less?
I know... give things time. New pills. Life changes. But... I have been ME a long time.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
"Kill what You are Inside You"
I don't have any for sure cures, but for a change, I HAVE HOPE!
First of all, my stupid side pain. Well, I was getting injections, but they really stopped working. So, even though he isn't covered by my crappy insurance, we decided to go back to Dr. YeahBaby, who helped my head so much. And Dr. YeahBaby had a NEW idea, one that DIDN'T involve sugar-raising steroids. We are going to try to give my nerve FROSTBITE and KILL IT! REALLY! Use a "Cryo"-probe and maybe it will kill it for forever, or maybe it will grow back, but either way, IF they can get the nerve... yeah. HOPE.
Also, 2 pills that haven't been helping have been taken OUT of my massive daily collection... and 2 have been added. Because when I was at the Neurologist's yesterday we talked about what Dr. Apparently said about Fibromyalgia. Well, after asking some questions and doing those mean touch you all over to see if it hurts test (umm, yes, YES it does), she determined that in her opinion I DEFINITELY have Fibromyalgia. So, now I am taking Cymbalta and Lyrica. Maybe this will be a really good thing. Those are what Dr. Apparently wants me on anyway, Celexa sure isn't cutting it. So we shall see.
So, while everything is still rather an experiment, this could be good. I hope I hope I hope.
Other than that, I have been really frustrated with my dumb dumb dumb Depression. And doctors EVERY SINGLE DAY this week. I am cheering myself up by watching every past episode of Cute with Chris. I freaking LOVE that show (but, a warning, it is definitely at least PG-13, so expect swearing. And a plastic horse named Pervy. Not for everyone.)
An example... of the more G to PG variety:
hee hee hee!
ANYWAY, in other news...
*I finally wrote an article for Thai's brilliant website The Hip Homemaker. You should check out her, like, WHOLE site if you are homemaker-ish.
*I haven't got to play with LeslieKay yet, but we did add each other on Facebook.
*Our sweet Deafie baby boy Jordan has been fixed and adopted. I would just like to say that the Utah Animal Adoption Center that took over Wasatch Humane is a GOOD place. Though, I admit part of me wishes he could be MINE. I am a bad foster mom... I really just want to keep EVERYTHING. hee hee!*I hate being a girl. A lot. BLEH. *I'm gonna take a bath and go to bed. Okay that's not exactly news. Whatever. Hee hee! Goodnight, Homies.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Kipluck: International Heart Breaker!
Okay, this isn't as funny as Nitty Gritty, but still. This Moses Person wrote to me and sounded actually cognitive and moderately nice, though I wasn't much interested. But he wanted my PHONE number. So I wrote back a polite, thanks for the note, maybe you could tell me more about yourself because I don't really give out my phone number, but maybe if we wrote awhile, I'd see. (Note, the first letter SOUNDED like someone FROM THIS COUNTRY. I don't know where he pasted it from)
THIS is what I got back...
Excuse me, WHAT THE?! I wrote back that there was apparently a mistake made and that he was either 1. gay and just sharing his dreams and aspirations with me 2. a woman and thought I was a man, therefore never ACTUALLY read my profile and therefore was a scammer or 3. was not familiar enough with English to understand that there was a difference in Male and Female and also probably was a scammer. I said, sorry, but none of those 3 were going to work for me, relationship-wise.
I also have VERY good news. I have been getting shots directly in my muscle because they now think it is a nerve/muscle thing and IT IS HELPING! I am even SLEEPING IN MY OWN BED!
Yep, I am at my house as we speak! (the book and my meds are still at the padres and I am still being checked on but STILL! BETTER! YAY!!!)
Which also means Mom and I are going with
Padre and Rinny to Vegas for Christmas. Both a good and bad thing. Because, well, I AM still hurting, and I am a little nervous about things... one of which is I really hate leaving my suggies kenneled at the vet's starting tomorrow because we leave very early (ugh) Saturday morning.
AND in preparation for Christmas I am going to SEE if I can get someone to chauffeur me around tomorrow but chances are they will be too busy so CC, Cupcake, Stewie, Thai, Prism, Darci, Heatherbella, Bobbie, "neighbor Pam," Coats, Megs, Miss Meliss, and Pepper, know I at least have a card or something for you that WILL be late. Because, yeah, I won't even be in town. hee hee!
I love you all very VERY much.
And now I should dose what I am allowed and turn off awhile. Peace Out.
THIS is what I got back...
To: kipluck
From: moses
Subject: hi
------------------------------------------
Thanks for your mail......i really appreciate what you said in your email...AM the only child of my parent, am single with no kids, i use to work with my dad he own an oil firm but due to our difference i had to stop working with him...I believe that partners are 100% equal in a relationship and both should be able to feel they can trust each other 100% at all times. I feel that any man who ever disrespects a woman is not a man at all.... My comon day schedule create time for fun, i like to get involve with any event outdoor for fun..... Well people that i have met will tell you am honest,concern, caring, respect other people opinion, sharing and not selfish.. I am affectionate also and I have no trouble showing it for the right man in public or private. ..my dream man will be someone who does not loves to argue, respect my opinion.....i want a man that is honest, concern, caring, sharing, loving and loyal. A man with a shoulder i can lean on right now due to what am going through at the moment.A man that his outgoing and funny but not like a clown all the time. A man that is kind not critical, not anal but easy going, spontaneous, affectionate and generous with his feelings, and time. He should like to go out and keep active. I don't like sitting at home on the couch too much. He needs to be an open, honest and patient person but not a pushover. I love walks on the beach,cuddling up and watching television, especially sports.Am a very transparent person in character,am caring, sharing, loving, and most of all trustworthy.....i want a man with enough experience in life to see both of us through....am not ready for mind games and i don't want my match too be the same.....am supportive and also i want my man too be supportive.
I am looking for something permanent and I know it takes time and a lot of good effort to form a good relationship. I want my man to be my best friend at all times, my sweetheart, love of my life, my partner and my soul mate all wrapped up into one man. I would be all of that for him and more,I would love him with all of my heart and have nothing but good feelings for him. He should be a very caring person, with a lot of good feelings, be honest, reliable,pleasant and personality.
I have been cheated in the past and it really hurt me so much.......because i trusted my ex with everything that i am but he turn out to be a liar, a cheat and a betrayer.....I know what it mean to be hurt and i will not want a fellow human been to go through the samr....Please honest with me.....
Tell me about your family background ? If you have a chance to change the world what will you do? Are you trustworthy ? Do you believe in Honest is the best policy? because my om thought me that honesty is the best policy......what do you like to do for fun? what are your dream, what are you ambition? can i confide in you ? will you confide in me?
I look forward to read from you
With all that i am and Loyalty
moses.
Excuse me, WHAT THE?! I wrote back that there was apparently a mistake made and that he was either 1. gay and just sharing his dreams and aspirations with me 2. a woman and thought I was a man, therefore never ACTUALLY read my profile and therefore was a scammer or 3. was not familiar enough with English to understand that there was a difference in Male and Female and also probably was a scammer. I said, sorry, but none of those 3 were going to work for me, relationship-wise.
I also have VERY good news. I have been getting shots directly in my muscle because they now think it is a nerve/muscle thing and IT IS HELPING! I am even SLEEPING IN MY OWN BED!
Yep, I am at my house as we speak! (the book and my meds are still at the padres and I am still being checked on but STILL! BETTER! YAY!!!)
Which also means Mom and I are going with
Padre and Rinny to Vegas for Christmas. Both a good and bad thing. Because, well, I AM still hurting, and I am a little nervous about things... one of which is I really hate leaving my suggies kenneled at the vet's starting tomorrow because we leave very early (ugh) Saturday morning.AND in preparation for Christmas I am going to SEE if I can get someone to chauffeur me around tomorrow but chances are they will be too busy so CC, Cupcake, Stewie, Thai, Prism, Darci, Heatherbella, Bobbie, "neighbor Pam," Coats, Megs, Miss Meliss, and Pepper, know I at least have a card or something for you that WILL be late. Because, yeah, I won't even be in town. hee hee!
I love you all very VERY much.
And now I should dose what I am allowed and turn off awhile. Peace Out.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley!"
Yesterday here it rained all day. No snow, just rain. Today it has been snowing non-stop. Worse for driving, but better for the Christmasy atmosphere. 
And it IS pretty... BUT it is bad enough with our driveway and hill at the padres we MAY be snowed in by the end of the day. Interesting.
Rinny came over today and gave me 2 paychecks and a Christmas card and gift card from TGP, like FROM the company. COOL! The checks were, well, nothing (hard to make MONEY when you can't WORK, like ever), but the gift card was for 50 bucks! Weee! Now Padre is fighting with Rinn because she wants to leave and he thinks she should stay... like, the NIGHT. Already I am not going to be able to feed the babies tonight. I will need to call the Roomie and ask her to do it for me. Bummer.
Boys are still a welcome distraction. Mostly ArmyBoy. He is a very interesting guy. I want to find out more about him. But I am bad at asking questions. Like I probably should just find a good survey and just ask one of the questions each time. Like just to give us random things to talk about, you know?
He really is VERY cute. I admit, I am still missing Fresno. I guess I am rebounding, kind of. But I am not thinking serious right now anyway. We just started writing (but ARE writing a couple times everyday), and besides I need to figure out my OWN dumb medical life. Boys are just a happy little distraction... unless, you know... it becomes more than that, but after a LONG time. Because DANG. I can't handle real stuff. Probably. Maybe. But he IS cute. And nice. And likes me! (And, CC, we talked about the liking chubby girl thing and I am okay with it, because he has chilled on that, apparently, in matters of health. ANYWAY, yeah).
OH, and the dumb ones are funny too! After I wrote to Mr. Nitty Gritty saying sorry, but language barriers would likely prove too difficult, have a great life but I was not interested, he STILL wrote back! HA!
Wow. Yeah. "Special!" Ya gotta laugh at the awesomeness of that. Because, well, the REST of life (ie: pretty much everything OFFline) right now sucks rocks. I am waiting for results from that MRI, but I admit I am pessimistic about it because I have a hard time believing ANYONE will find out anything that will help me. Nobody has so far, why would they be different, you know? *cries* I do NOT want lupus or anything, though. I am going to do this and hope they have SOME longer lasting pain control than dumb Loritab and dumb Percocet... then find some internal medicine specialist who can find out what's wrong with my crazy Sed Rate.
Right now I live from pill to pill, and try to distract myself. Today I watched Airplane (always hilarious!), 8 Crazy Nights (weird.), and now I am watching Bewitched (I love it. Will Ferrell kills me.). Also playing on Gaia... and chatting on Mingle (obviously *blush*)...
Yes, very productive.
It is STILL snowing. And I think I am going to go take a bath, after I take another pill. Because I have been writing this blog off and on all day and it is time to do so. Peace out.
And it IS pretty... BUT it is bad enough with our driveway and hill at the padres we MAY be snowed in by the end of the day. Interesting.Rinny came over today and gave me 2 paychecks and a Christmas card and gift card from TGP, like FROM the company. COOL! The checks were, well, nothing (hard to make MONEY when you can't WORK, like ever), but the gift card was for 50 bucks! Weee! Now Padre is fighting with Rinn because she wants to leave and he thinks she should stay... like, the NIGHT. Already I am not going to be able to feed the babies tonight. I will need to call the Roomie and ask her to do it for me. Bummer.
Boys are still a welcome distraction. Mostly ArmyBoy. He is a very interesting guy. I want to find out more about him. But I am bad at asking questions. Like I probably should just find a good survey and just ask one of the questions each time. Like just to give us random things to talk about, you know?
He really is VERY cute. I admit, I am still missing Fresno. I guess I am rebounding, kind of. But I am not thinking serious right now anyway. We just started writing (but ARE writing a couple times everyday), and besides I need to figure out my OWN dumb medical life. Boys are just a happy little distraction... unless, you know... it becomes more than that, but after a LONG time. Because DANG. I can't handle real stuff. Probably. Maybe. But he IS cute. And nice. And likes me! (And, CC, we talked about the liking chubby girl thing and I am okay with it, because he has chilled on that, apparently, in matters of health. ANYWAY, yeah).OH, and the dumb ones are funny too! After I wrote to Mr. Nitty Gritty saying sorry, but language barriers would likely prove too difficult, have a great life but I was not interested, he STILL wrote back! HA!
To: kipluck
From: lademmie
Subject: am tripping for you sweetie
------------------------------------------
am confidence all about you, and am down on my knee is to be with you in wat 'er part of the world please tell me how is it gonna be possible? pls am waiting sweetie what's ur idea?
Wow. Yeah. "Special!" Ya gotta laugh at the awesomeness of that. Because, well, the REST of life (ie: pretty much everything OFFline) right now sucks rocks. I am waiting for results from that MRI, but I admit I am pessimistic about it because I have a hard time believing ANYONE will find out anything that will help me. Nobody has so far, why would they be different, you know? *cries* I do NOT want lupus or anything, though. I am going to do this and hope they have SOME longer lasting pain control than dumb Loritab and dumb Percocet... then find some internal medicine specialist who can find out what's wrong with my crazy Sed Rate.
Right now I live from pill to pill, and try to distract myself. Today I watched Airplane (always hilarious!), 8 Crazy Nights (weird.), and now I am watching Bewitched (I love it. Will Ferrell kills me.). Also playing on Gaia... and chatting on Mingle (obviously *blush*)...Yes, very productive.
It is STILL snowing. And I think I am going to go take a bath, after I take another pill. Because I have been writing this blog off and on all day and it is time to do so. Peace out.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Things I am not Grateful For...
Yeah, I know. I am a jerk. But hurting everyday and feeling like I am being pushed into becoming a drug addict is just pissing me off.
I still hurt everyday and nobody can see a reason why.
I am scheduled for a colonoscopy next week.
Dr. ScrewIt told me he doesn't see any reason why I should hurt and that I should just "walk it off," "push through the pain," "play broken," and about 19,000 other sports metaphors until I "lose ONE HUNDRED POUNDS" and hopefully "that should take care of it."
Oh. Well, is THAT all. Just lose 100 lbs, WHILE having debilitating, unexplained pain no less, and maybe it might not hurt. Be a druggie a year or so. No biggie. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!
He is not nearly as cute as before.
And I am still hurting just as bad and still have little to no hope.
I still hurt everyday and nobody can see a reason why.I am scheduled for a colonoscopy next week.
Dr. ScrewIt told me he doesn't see any reason why I should hurt and that I should just "walk it off," "push through the pain," "play broken," and about 19,000 other sports metaphors until I "lose ONE HUNDRED POUNDS" and hopefully "that should take care of it."
Oh. Well, is THAT all. Just lose 100 lbs, WHILE having debilitating, unexplained pain no less, and maybe it might not hurt. Be a druggie a year or so. No biggie. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?!
He is not nearly as cute as before.
And I am still hurting just as bad and still have little to no hope.
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