I WANT I WANT!

OH MY GOSH. I am in conversation with another bug guy about possibly trading some hissing roaches (of which I have MAAAAAAANY right now. My colony is flourishing) for a RHINOCEROS BEETLE!

That would be awesome just be cause, but also for Critters 2 Go.  By the way, I have a particularly BUGGY Critters 2 Go show to do tonight.  I am going to teach a pack of cub scouts to take care of roaches for a badge.  I will also teach them about "proper pet care and respect for all life." do it for free, take a lot of pictures and do it for my service project for the DoingGood Scholarship!

I am trying not to think about how much pain I am in right now.  Starting today I am going off certain meds and to add to that my tooth and head are both KILLING me.  I got a blessing from my Padre to help with the pain, but I admit my faith is probably too weak for how strong the hurt is today.  Loritab isn't touching it either.

But I HAVE THINGS TO DO!  I don't have time to hurt.  I need to get ready for the pack meeting.  I need all the animals in their respective carriers.  I need to post a little on Gaia, the Pets forum.  I need to straighten my room.  I need to say goodbye to my brother who is on his way out the door (Bye, BoyKid.).

What I do NOT need is what I have. HELL in Head-form.

normal?

I am listening to a recorded CES Fireside by D. Todd Christoferson.  I was recommended it by Stef, because I am struggling with not losing hope.  These headaches are tearing my life apart, just while I am trying to glue it back together... become normal. Go back to work (We are writing 2 new merit badge classes - Space Exploration and Archaeology).  Go back to school (registering for classes (at Broadview). Get all legal and doing more Critters 2 Go parties (I am waiting on my vet now to do a home check of Baby Fable and Heber & Lilo (Nani is not preforming in anyway since she hates it)).  NORMAL.

But a NEW normal. After all, I have never had a schedule with as of classes as I will have.  This semester I have the last 2 of my generals, Global Citizenship and Interpersonal Relations but THEN:
Veterinary Office Procedures
Career Development
Veterinary Medical Terminology
Introduction to Veterinary Technology
Introduction to Veterinary Clinical Skills
Animal Physiology I
Animal Physiology II
Animal Anatomy
Veterinary Pharmacology
Imaging
Basic Hematology
Parasitology
Lab Animals, Exotics and Pocket Pets
Advanced Veterinary Clinical Skills
Small Animal Nutrition and Nursing
Hematology and Small Animal Disease
Anesthesiology
Small Animal Surgical Assisting
Production Animals
Equine
Application of Veterinary Clinical Skills
Certified Veterinary Technician Review
Veterinary Clinical Training

Oy.

The Secret Life of Bees [and Boys]

I have had dumb boys on the brain lately. Like, as in, DUMB ones, specifically. Today it bothered me that it was Fresno's birthday. It bothered me even more so that I knew what I was going to give him.... I mean, like, I knew what I had planned. I had parts of this little thing. A silly homemade thing that WOULD have meant a lot, you know... if WE had meant a lot. Ugh. Yuck. BLEH.

And then there was yesterday. Our very first official GEOLOGY Merit Badge Class! We've done Environmental Science and Citizenship in the World but Geology is new and we are launching this big new program. The only hazard for me (besides the unearthly early hour of it starting, I mean! Ugh.) was that Geology meant everything made me think of f'retarded TexasBoy as he was a Geologist, like PROFESSIONALLY, for an oil company who works with NASA. He had all these dumb geology jokes about, like cleavage and schist and I thought of ALL of them during that class. (Thanks, TexAss. You may have broke my heart, but you left me with a butt-load of rock puns! hee hee hee!) But it was a fun class.


We had them pan for gold (they got real gold), mine a rock collection out of a sandy brick thing (we made them. Mixed sand and plaster) and label it in pretty cool little boxes we gave them, they learned about open pit vs. strip mining, stuff like that. THEN we got somewhat distracted from the rocks because 1st we found a couple of garter snakes. THEN one of our new girls found a toad. And THEN... OUR BEEKEEPER CAME TO REPLACE OUR HIVE!!!

Well, not the hive, but the inhabitants. Because, yes, they ALL DIED! And then I wanted to bawl. Seriously. Anyway, yeah, he came to give us new bees. (Heh heh. NewBees. Newbies. Hee hee!) And he was out there, cleaning out the hive and then, like INSTALLING them. Which I found so fascinating I proceeded to follow him like a paparazzi. The writing the 1st grade field trip curriculum lesson plans at the garden has made me slightly OBSESSED with bees. Plus, not that it was really ABOUT bees PER SAY, but I really DID like Secret Life of Bees and highly recommend it. And now I want to know ALL about bees, beekeeping, and honey and probably made the beekeeper feel uncomfortable with the number of questions I asked him.

Anyway, back to rocks. We DID get them (and me) back on track. They learned more stuff, I promise. We took them to the Museum and even with a few rowdy scouts we managed to evade any run-ins with Sgary.

It was good if I weren't feeling so crappy. Very very headache and sick. And stupid and depressed to boot. I just am rather tired of being me. But, yeah, that's pretty par for the course. Yeah. But I still do not want to leave this post on a depressed note, so too mildly inappropriate bee jokes!

What kind of Bees give milk?

>>>>Boo-Bees!


Knock knock.

Who's there?

Bumble Bee.

Bumble Bee who?

>>>Bumble Bee Cold if you don't put on some pants!

"You are a Murderer of Love!"

You Are Flip Flops

You are laid back and very friendly. Cheery and sunny in disposition, you usually have something to smile about. Style is important to you, as long as you can stay casual. It takes a lot to get you to dress up! You are a loyal and true person, though you can be a bit of a flake. You tend to "play hooky" and blow off responsibilities a lot more than most people. You should live: By the beach You should work: At a casual up and coming company

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

Figures... since I mostly wear them. Even though I don't call them Flip-Flops. Or "thongs." *shudder* They are Slippahs. Blame school in Laie.



So, let's see, what has happened lately. Okay, Rinny went on a high school choir tour in Seattle and came back with a boyfriend. HA! Okay, fine, so he is her own age and they were both chaperons because one of the Melissas is a teacher. But they did KNOW each other in high school (and she crushed on him then, too)... in fact, I vaguely remember him from back them, too... her mentioning him at least. Anyway, somehow they came home almost dating... for now. I say for now because, well, it's Rinny. And besides, we Mayberry girls do NOT have a history of knowing how to date. SIGH.

I fell for an April Fool's Joke, the day after. Because I only heard about it, second hand, and it WASN'T April Fool's Day anymore. So for a whole day I thought it was possible that Snoop Dogg was joining the LDS Church. I did NOT see the site, and when I did I thought it was very funny and knew it was a joke, but before I SAW anything I thought it may be true. It was good, though. I wish I could show it again, but it's been removed. Here show at least part of it. Here is one that hopefully will stick around though the original is gone. Sad.

Oh, and a random pic from another site mocking it... Hee hee hee!

Okay, so I am a cotton-headed ninny muggins. BUT He SHOULD become, Mormon, huh? I mean he's into his family like we are, I hear he's buddies with Donny Osmond oddly enough (but I don't know that?), and, because, you know... everyone should. Hee hee! Happy Conference Weekend, right? The first Conference in 13 years with a new Prophet and President. Plus, we will see who the new one of the 12 will be. Plus, you know, just a chance to sit at the feet of the Lord, metaphorically and all that. Yay!

So, sometimes I randomly READ the dictionary or dictionary. YES REALLY. I am just that big of a dork. I was looking for the right spelling for a game and came across this and laughed a LOT.

Pneumonic device

Not to be confused with mnemonic device.

Not to be confused with pneumatic device.

Pneumonic device is a generic term for equipment designed for use with or relating to the lungs. The iron lung and medical ventilator may be considered pneumonic devices. The term may also refer to any device used in the field of respiratory therapy.

A rare mnemonic device for remembering the difference between a mnemonic device and a pneumonic device goes as follows: "Please, never enter unless my oxygen is correct."

OH SO, I finally saw Dan in Real Life. GOOD MOVIE! I laughed VERY hard. "This corn is an angel." It is one of those sad AND funny movies. "You are a murderer of love!" Fantastic. I SO love Steve Carell.

I am now going to be a Merit Badge Counselor. Not that I wasn't BEFORE, but now I am official, not just helping Dave, because we want a way better program. And we are going to be starting a Geology badge program and an Archeology badge to add to our Citizenship in the World badge and Environmental Studies badge. But we went to a Scout thing and it was funny how out of uniform we were, even though we were all IN our uniforms. Since were were mostly all girls... in our TGP shirts... and none of us knew the oaths and stuff. It was funny though.

It will be... interesting.

Anyway, I am going to bed because it has been a VERY hard Friday emotionally and I hurt bad physically. So, yeah.

I'm sorry, Celebrate the WHATS?!

SO, I am following in my little sister's footsteps. SIGH. No, it's a good thing, really.

I have decided since I actually LIKE my job and would like to do it for REAL (elsewhere... for more money and better benefits) someday I am going to start trying to get to sort of where SHE is... but without her degree from the Y (since, you know, they wouldn't take me anyway.) So I am going to do this by PRACTICAL learning. Basically being willing to get, like, every BSA certification we are offered, and dive into 4-H with Rinny. I am going to be doing a lot more Training-type stuff. Like going to a 3-day and night 4-H conference thing out in PRICE called a Leadermete. That's the day after my birthday, the 10th, 11th, and 12th. It could really suck... or be cool. We shall see. Some of the classes sound fun. Others sound, well, boring. But that's how inservice is, you know? And I need this stuff. I need DIRECTION in my career... I need ANYTHING in my career for it to BE a potential career instead of a year round summer job.

I am going crazy with boredom.

And yet...

some days I can barely manage to get out of bed. Not just Depression, either, even though OBVIOUSLY that's sure there. I mean actual physical pain. So it seems pretty stupid to be all "Ack! Must have real job!" since I can't even GO to it half the damn time. I know that. But I just feel so frustrated with myself. I hate feeling, for the lack of a better word, so DISABLED right now. I want to do MORE... my body wants to do LESS. I want to see less doctors and take less pills... I need to see more and take more to get me figured out before I can get more normalized. It's an ugly place to find myself in. I hate it. It feels hopeless and sad. Like being in a prison with a tiny window with good view. Pointless.

lady of the evening...

Okay, so I'm not a hooker... or a vampire... though, when reading Eclipse.... Mmmmm....


ANYWAY...Scouts was long and tiring and my stupid cold made it longer and more tiring.

And by the time environmental science was over I was BEAT and very sick. So I didn't get out to DO things till just a couple hours ago and can I just say there are some CLAAAAAASSY folks at the all-night pharmacy at night?

My FAVORITE was a group of 3 friends all with free trial cards to pay for their 3 matching prescriptions of birth control. They were all about 20 at most. It was a total Social event! "Hey lets all go to the doctor together so we can have sex at the same time! Sweet!" But the cards weren't working and they were swearing up a storm. It was pretty hilarious.

However, not quite so hilarious is that I ended up spending $301.85 there on meds.

See, back before I got my job at MyFamily.com I was trying desperately to get someone to give me insurance as I was going to no longer be covered by the Padres'. I wasn't diagnosed Diabetic yet, but was pretty sure I was going to be and didn't WANT to be until after I got insurance. I have enough preexisting conditions to scare off ANYONE, I didn't want to add anything new to the mix (little did I know Diabetes was just the tip of the iceberg. Grrrr...).

I ended up with the only one that would accept me, the very unhelpful Altius. It was looking pretty grim. HOWEVER, then I got the job at MyFamily. I started out basically hijacking service calls from AOL (HATE THEM) and trying to sell genealogy. It was horrible. BUT then, things changed. I got promoted to the be on a service team. It was good. I felt like we were actually HELPING people rather than pretending to help them in order to sell things to them. And, they also gave me a really REALLY good insurance plan. Like THE BEST. It was going good. Really good.

Not surprisingly, when a new CEO came and there were all those lay offs, our team, one of the only GOOD things left, was scrapped.

Ended up being a blessing, in a way, though. I hated losing that job but things with the new CEO were going downhill FAST any way and then I got very sick and and was going to have to quit soon. Had I done that, or been fired, I would have lost my benefits. Benefits that have lasted me a year, and helped me pay for such insanities as my gall bladder surgery, my sleep test for the apnea, ETCETERA.

However, nothing is that simple, is it? Suddenly somebody discovered each other. It's not like it was a secret. I LIST both. But SelectHealth found out they were not the first one I OWNED and said that ALTIUS has to be my Primary and they my secondary, not the other way around. We told them I didn't USE Altius, it was just a back up. They said we weren't allowed to PICK our primary. CRAP. So suddenely they stary deinying things retroactively... sending stuff to Altius, so that Altius can deny them and send them BACK to them! IT IS SO FRUSTRATING.

Like most of adulthood.

After another pharmacy battle I got in the car and cried, though as much for BEING the type od person who NEEDS that many meds to stay alive and stuff as for having to pay for them.

When's that resurrection thing happening anyway? Because I am getting a little antsy for an upgrade. SIGH.

However, there are other insurance matters to worry about as well... I mean, think about it. At least they won't steal my 300 dollar medication for fuel.



p.s. that happens to be a favorite of my bro and I. OH GOOD GORDON BUT I MISS HIM! He is, with out a doubt, one of the funniest little brothers ever. And I loved his last letter about the FHE... FLIRTING Home Evening. It's good to know boys are still idiots in the church, even in Italy, huh?

Oh hey fam! Greetings from Cuneo. Sorry that the letter is a little late. Yesterday was 15 Agosto. In otherwords, the only day of the year when even the Internet points are closed. The city and Italy was basically dead so it was our twice a year deep cleaning day. We had a huge ward activity in the mountains and after we came back and spent the night cleaning. So today, our nice friendly library internet is closed and the only place that is open is a little shadey. So I am basically keeping my eyes focused on the keyboard to protect my innocent little brain. yikes!

So, this week...I did some stuff. It was a little different. A lot of our investigators are going on vacation so...to the Streets! We have been teaching a lot on the street lately trying to find new investigators. We have taught a lot of lessons but its been a hard week getting phone numbers. These weeks have been interesting. Anziano Gibson has a lot of theories. Most of them I dont agree with, but I am learing something. With Anziano Shanchy we were getting a little number happy. We were forgetting that behind each lesson we taught their was a person that needed to feel the love of God. Anziano Gibson is SO anti numbers, he thinks that they are just used to impress the Zone Leaders. I disagree but I have focused more on helping the person...not just trying to teach them a street lesson. I think it has helped.

Some of the highlights this week. The funniest FHE ever! We were invited to the Young Single Adults FHE on Friday. It was a fun night with kids our age, but it was pretty obvious that we werent one of them. Watching them hangout and flirt was kind of funny, and it made me grateful that I dont have to worry about those things right now. One member Mirko, is very nice but so over the top. He is also in love with one of our new converts, Elisa. I almost died as he gave the spiritual thought. He dimmed the light and gave a talk on Love. His first words were "love does not just mean a man and a woman" (looking at Elisa) it is more. He then had us (we were dying) hand out and light candles in the darkened room. While he turned on the Love song from "A walk to remember". After lighting all the candles he pointed out that "when we have love it can lighten a darkened room," while Mandy Moore Sang "to be only yours I pray" It was....touching. Who said missions arent really funny. It was a good evening that we got to introduce the church to a friend of Elisa, and Niomi. He is interested in hearing more!

Whoof, I am out of time....so I do this quick.

Monday night we all took the train to Torino for a sleep over with the Zone Leaders! We had Zone conference the next morning so it was a fun chance to learn from others. I loved teaching and just talking with Anziano Valente and Aylett. They are good leaders, (Anziano Gibson thinks they are number driven) and I hope to learn as much as I can from them.

Tuesday, was Zone conference, and it was good. It was about planning and I needed the lesson. We got some great tips that will help me be more organized and use my time a lot better. I also got to teach on the train with Anziano Valente. It was fun, and we spoke to a man from the Phillipines, so he spoke English. It was funny how hard it was for me to teach in my own language! I kept trying to say things in italian.

Wed We had a huge ward activity in the Mountains that was a lot of fun. There was a big river, and everyone (but the missionaries) went cliff jumping. I didnt get wet but I got a lot of pictures.

Ok, I best be going, in the words of my mother I love your stinkin guts!
(= io Amo le vostre poncio che putzono!)

p.p.s even though he still can't spell, a word about my bro's grammar. The keyboards at those places don't have apostrophes. So he is excused those.

would you like some cheese with my whine?

I am feeling a little better (physically), though, at least, thanks to a WHOLE lot of Lemon Theraflu and books (finished Eclipse last night. Good book, but now I am needing the NEXT and THIS one just came out. SIGH.) and a fair amount of feeling doped up and exhausted all the time... oh and waisting a lot of time goofing around on Gaia.

As for... the boy... I don't know if I said the right thing.

Hey [Fresno],

I will have to see that movie. It sounded interesting (And I like Beatrix Potter).

I want to be able to talk and be friends. I have missed that, a lot. But I am still having a hard time with it all and it still just hurts to get emails from you. It takes a lot for me to fall for somebody, you know?

I hope I will get to that time, I just don't know how long it will be. For now, I don't think I can. I am not over you yet.

Sorry,


[Kipluck]

I *just* sent it, like 20 seconds ago, so I am already questioning. I mean, I have thought about it a lot. And prayed, too. I basically prayed "I am going to tell him I can't talk to him. If I am wrong please tell me!" I got nothing... so... hopefully I am not being stupid.

My heart hurts so much right now.

The doctor told me not to work this week, but I can't get out of tomorrow, it's SCOUTS. But at least it will be something not in the house and, in theory, not related to Fresno. Thinking about him hurts and he pops into my thoughts ALL THE TIME. It is NOT fair.

Anyway, I will write more later. I need to lay down again. BLEH.

Well, it's later. I don't feel better.

I am coughing more. I am DREADING the early morning the begins with boy scouts. And I am sick over Fresno, but not even sick like "oh I should have said" because if I WAS I would write again. I am no closer to the "right" thing to say than before. I just know I wish we hadn't ever met if this is how my life was going to feel from now on.

Goodnight. I am going to feed the babies and take more gaggy lemonade so I might sleep.

Badges?! We Don' Need No Stinking Badges!

The bad news is that I am still at home, sick.

The good news is that I *am* working! Sometimes my sister Rinny really is a great boss.

See, right now is a really bad time to take time off. It is day camp season! I asked for the Fresno weekend off a LONG time ago, and got it with some iffiness and rescheduling of EVERYONE'S Robotics training and such, but this random being sick for days thing is NOT working out at ALL, especially not so CLOSE to the planned absence. In short, when I call in sick, I know I am putting the whole program in trouble. But I also know that if I get RINNY sick things will COMPLETELY fall apart. So, what do I do?

I'll tell you what... Rinny just emailed me a TON of work I can do from home! How awesome is that? Basically I am revamping the entire Junior Master Gardener program to fulfill scout merrit badge requirements... FROM HOME! It needs to be done. Our Scout classes are extremely popular. Moms come to pick up their kids and ask "okay, so what do they need to do next to get their badge?" and we tell them "nothing. We did it all and will mail in the paperwork." and the moms look like they are going to hug us. We make those boys WORK and they do have fun. They are good classes. And JMG are good classes, too, but if we can make them fulfill a Gardening, Landscape Architecture, Plant Science, or Soil and Water Conservation badge they should go through the roof. The more involved we can get the BIG groups like scouts, schools, and 4-H in this place the better.

Anyway, so now that the Dinosaur museum has curriculum to get started with, my new pet project will be Boy Scouts and JMG. And being able to work on it here at my desk in my basement while I am coughing out a lung and keeping the Kleenex company safely in business for a year is a HUGE help. Rinny gets something done she needs (and does not feel pressure to fire me anytime soon!). I get money I need... but more so I am not so FREAKING BORED!!! And hopefully this gives my immune system and antibiotics one more day to work overtime before I practice high-tech animatronics (and another before I practice not so high-tech osculation. ;O) Heh heh!) Moving on...

while less FUN than showing UP with Fresno's birthday present, I decided to mail it to him with a Don't Open Till June 1st note (and hoping he GETS it by then.) because the airport would probably be nervous about it and unwrap it and I worked HARD on the wrapping. Yes, I am such a girl sometimes. But yeah. However, I never did decide which of 3 cards I bought for him I was going to USE so I didn't include one and now they all seem dumb. So he may not get a card. I don't know. Maybe I will bring them all with me and write one there if I decide to. Give it to him with... I don't know, whatever they have at my continental breakfast? Hee hee! "Here. Happy birthday... blow out the candles on your birthday... cinamon roll." I really should bring a candle. (but not that Elmo having a special moment with the 4 one. Though he is turning THIRTY 4. Hee hee!)

Weird. That really DOESN'T seem that old. I mean it's NOT, but if it was ME it would feel old. Like ME turning 34 would be old-ish. But Fresno doesn't seem much older than me (except when we are teasing each other about it, like me only being 13 when he graduated high school and got ready for his mission and how it was a good thing we didn't know each other and like each other then because GROSS or being in kindergarten when he started Scouts. But it is only teasing because the years really AREN'T that far apart when you are older. But it is still funny to think about, especially when he's wrong, like when he said "...whatever, you couldn't even TALK when I was in 5th grade."
"Dude, I started TALKING in SENTENCES at 10 months."
"Oh."
"Did YOU not talk till you were 3?!"
"No, I probably talked around the same time as you... or something..."
"Whatever."

Sigh. I so like him.

ANYWAY. I need to focus on Scouts now. Plants. Gardens. Merit Badges. Irrigation. Propagation. Horticulture. Greenhouses. Pollination. Earth Worms. Compost. Conservation. TIME TO WORK!