I have been feeling a little anti-social lately and so when Fresno wasn't writing me back or calling after I sent that
rather disjointed missive which was mostly a depressed rant, well, I didn't push it. I didn't write him again, or call him. I started to feel like if he wanted to talk to me after that, he could... but I wasn't feeling happy enough about myself to call HIM. And, despite the fact it was my
fault it was making me sadder and sadder. I was just sort of spiraling, you know?
Anyway, I decided I would call him, even if it was to say sorry and good bye, after BoyKid's farewell... since I knew his plan of COMING to the farewell had fallen through (instead he is coming for
General Conference next) due to work. If he didn't call by Sunday night, I would call him. But I wasn't feeling very good about the situation.
Anyway, Saturday night I fed the furrkids and then left home and went to the Padres' to spend the night so I could help get the house ready and also they could make sure I was AWAKE for BoyKid's farewell talk at his church. Well, I didn't help with the house much (Rinny helped with most of that) because Padre had me setting up his new laptop instead (because he doesn't have the patience to even do install wizards. *rolls eyes* Anyway, it was pretty interesting to try out Windows Vista. It's cute! I am not sure it's worth it to buy upgrading *my* computer just yet, but it's cute. Not as cute as a Mac, but I can't AFFORD a Mac anyway. But SOMEDAY. ANYWAY...
Sleeping at someone ELSE'S house (even when it is technically "home" too) is even harder than sleeping at home. Plus there is less to DO, because it would wake up the rest of the fam. So that was frustrating. And, even though this sounds silly, I was really MISSING the gliders. It was sad to think that they WEREN'T in the next room. It made me feel lonely, even in a house full of people. But I have been feeling lonely a lot at random times lately. Anyway, the night was rather BORING as I was awake for most of it. I read some (
New Moon
... not as good as the first, but still good. CC, I think you'd like them more than me.)
Seemed like 4 seconds after I finally fell asleep the alarm was going off. I was SO TIRED. I know I got up, took a shower, took pills, ate a little, and got dressed for church, but I honestly don't remember doing anything before getting in the car. Seriously, NO memory of getting ready at all. Good thing *I* wasn't driving, huh?
When we got to the Church I met with
Mali and we went to sit in a pew behind T-La and the boys and I somehow hoped that Megs and Jakey would come too and they would sit with us. But I don't think Megs was well enough. I *knew* that, I just hoped I was wrong. I miss my Meggy very much.
Anyway, sitting behind the wiggley boys was funny but we also heard PART of Gabe's
breakdown. All WE heard was "I am NOT going to take the sacrament! I don't want it!" But T-La told me the story later. "Mom, I don't want the sacrament."
"Why?"
"Because you didn't check if it does not 'may contain peanuts.'"
"Gabe, it doesn't."
"Go up and ask the bishop! I am not eating it!"
I told her that was really funny (especially his "does not may contain peanuts" phrase) but she said, "you know, it's really NOT. I think he is OCD. We have always had him be careful at parties and friends houses, but now I can't get him to eat ANYTHING! Even when I make it myself."
Apparently he wouldn't eat at all the other day because she tried to give hom milk and he asked where it came from she told him the store and he started crying. "No, Mom, before! How do you know the cow didn't eat peanuts?!"
"It didn't!"
"You don't know, Mom! You can't be there all the time and see! You didn't see the cow and maybe the store somebody maybe touched-ed all of the food at the grocery store with peanuts! You can't know you don't sleep at the store!"
Poor kiddlet.
Anyway, back to church. BoyKid did GREAT on his talk. He was funny and confident and himself, and kept making this little grimace face that cracked me up.
What can I say? The kid is a natural Drama freak and a comedian... he just fits into the spot light perfectly. He talked about when he almost drown and my mom received revelation to go to the river where he was playing and saved him in time. Other stories, too. He just did good. I was so proud of him. He is going to be a GREAT missionary.
It still really didn't hit me, though, about him actually LEAVING. I listened to his talk (while making faces at the Little Boys, especially KaBob (Caleb)), and thought about stuff, but, I don't know, him actually LEAVING just wasn't real to me there.
After Sacrament Meeting we (me and Mom and Rinny) went back to the house for the party. Padre stayed to teach Sunday School, BoyKid stayed because people kept talking to him. Most relatives skipped the rest of church and came straight home with us, a few went to Dad's lesson.
Lots of fun people came. My cousins Jamie and Dennis and their many children. I think they have, like, 8 of them and they look exactly the same, just in different sizes. And Sarsa and Courtney (her hubby with a girl's name)! And many other people, of course, but Sarsa and Mali and T-La and the Kiddlets were the ones I hung out with most. Oh, and Brett and Annie who used to live with us in Provo. It was a good crowd. And a chocolate fountain.
That chocolate fountain was trouble, though. Because BoyKid and his friends? CRAZY. They started dipping EVERYTHING in it. EVERYTHING!
Like carrots, broccoli, HAM...
Yes, she LIKED the Ham. SICK!
As BoyKid said, "Ridiculously-Giant-Smiles-GO!" Hee hee hee!
At least one of the Jamie and Dennis Kiddlets (Whichever one that is... Kristen? Hailey? Arrgh. They are all so much the same!) was dipping normal things.
In the meantime, though, I was feeling not so great because ever since the night before my left boob and arm were hurting like crazy! Finally I looked in the bathroom to find a little lump thing in my armpit. Just pea-sized, but it was hurting so bad I was feeling woozy! Mom told me, even though the party was going to go to the doctor right then! I felt really stupid going to InstaCare for a little bump, especially on the Sabbath. But it was hurting bad enough I did.
Apparently, it's just a cyst but in such a bundle of nerves that it is just driving me crazy. The doctor wanted to cut it open, clean it out, "pack" it, and have me come pack to do the same thing a couple times. I chickened out and asked for any other solution. So I got put on an antibiotics, told to hot pack it, but that if it isn't better in 3 days I have to do the first idea anyway. SIGH. I was also told to sleep ala naturale up top. Hee hee hee!
So, back to the party, there was still crazy little cousins, chocolate-covered everything, Italian flags, friends, family, really nasty pasta salad from my Aunt O, and just funny stuff. But after Mali left and Sarsa, well, I started feeling a little sick, half with the crowd and half with just yuckiness. So I hid out awhile, then went home, the idea of the boy actually LEAVING for 2 years sinking in. Not this coming Weds, but the next we will take him to the MTC and say goodbye. So weird. And while I was feeling sad about my baby bro, I was also trying to work up the nerve to call the other important boy in my life. It wasn't happening. And I was crying.
But then Fresno called ME. And we talked a long time. And he said he was glad I wrote what I wrote because babbling or not he was starting to think he was, like, mis-reading me and that maybe I didn't like him after all. But I do. We talked about that... had a little DTR thing... it was good. I appologized a lot (and cried) and we talked about him trying to buy a house on Monday in Cali for his disabled cousin and illegal alien friend to rent and then buying ANOTHER house, in UTAH, in August... which is when he thinks he can come here, rather than June. But the point is he IS still coming, we are still dating, and... yeah, things are good. Fresno is SO good.
THE END.
