Sugar and Spice and Everything Sucky

I feel crappy today so I did not swim... or really do anything else. I am blaming going back on Glucophage... however, I WANT to be on it because diet and Glipizide is so not doing it and my numbers are still really REALLY high like 250 and that's FASTING. Also, having high blood sugar is also probably making me sick as well. Basically it is a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Have I mentioned how much I HATE Diabetes? I HATE Diabetes!


I spent much of today, well, asleep. I am also having a bit of a low time with Depression right now, though I *am* on the right meds for that. I just don't want to do anything... or be with people. Both of which are the exact opposite of a good thing with depression. Very much self-defeating behavior. I know this.

But it doesn't seem to matter if I know it. I am so tired... and achey... I just can't do it right now. And then there is the boy thing. This is really stupid, I know, but it was a year ago that TexasBoy flew here to play. And we had a lot of fun and I really liked him and I thought he liked me and then it all fell apart in September.

So basically, I don't really miss him. I miss him before... I miss THAT, I think. It is like not so much missing one person as missing the concept and good points of all... Speedy Gus, TexasBoy, Magical Trevor... even PoetryBoy, a little bit. I am feeling sort of pathetic and lonely right now. And having a hard time believing it will happen again... or ever "end" happily.

Sorry to just whine... just venting, I suppose.

Stupid boys. *grumble grumble*












Stupid ME.

Urine Charge of Your Life!

So I had my days mixed up. Urine Town isn't today or tomorrow it is in Park City NEXT Wednesday or Thursday. But yeah, Oh and it is a REAL show! Like it's won AWARDS. A show named after PEE has won Tony awards. Hee hee hee hee! Huh. Yeah, my family is weird. Drama freaks, the lot of them. But hey, it's fun. Well, I hope this one's fun. It BETTER be hilarious.

I went to the pool again today. I am trying to get back into the habit. But I am having a much harder time than I thought I would. I get tired so much faster than before the gall bladder and such. And my stomach hurts. But at least I am going... and moving.

Today I also cleaned the turtle tank, the goldfish tank, and ate a mouthful of Reddiwip directly from the can while putting it on some nectarines. YUM!

So it has been a fairly productive day. Ha!

I am still job hunting. I have applied for perfect library jobs, but at the risk of sounding negative, let's face it, qualifications aside, I NEVER get hired for them. It would be awesome to get it... but I am also applying for a bunch of crap customer service jobs. At least I know I am good at it. ARRRGH. But yeah, and then there is school coming up. OY. Lots of nervousness ahead. I want to get my life in order again!

Just keep Swimming...

Today I went to my new therapy pool at last! It's really a nice facility. A lot nicer than my old one. It was good to get moving again. But I hurt a lot later. Very sore... and so tired.... and Sooooo sick to my stomach.

But hey, I am still exhausted so maybe I can finally go to bed early. YAY! That would be good. Need to feed the babies earlier, though.

I need to finish their room so they can play more. I have been a pretty sucky sugar mama lately because I feel like crap so I don't play with them as long as I should.

I did, however, find what I *think* will be an excellent forever home for baby Plice. Just need to firm up the details. It's a bitter-sweet triumph, however. Losing him makes me cry, but he should have more attention and most of all a cage-mate to be with, and that I can't do right now. I am barely keeping my own head above water lately and my other 3 gliders are both my greatest stresser AND my best stress-reliever. They are my anchor and often my reason for living... but also VERY high maintenance critters.

And less CAGES, mostly. If only dear Plicethenese could be with the others. But his mama still wants to kill him, he and his dad are violently jealous of each other, and Lilo likes him but LOVES being with the other 2 more and I can't do that to her. She's my mama's girl!

So this is a good thing. But sad. Very very sad. Actually, I should probably put this stuff in my other Blog, Tails from the Ark.

(Not that I don't need to tell about my life in here if it involves my animals. Heck, they are my life! But, well, they DO have their own blog. Hee hee hee!)

Oh, guess what though? Either tomorrow or Wednesday I am going with my family to a play called "URINE TOWN!" Hiw can it NOT be funny!

You Snooze, You Lose lots and lots of time

still awake.

never went to sleep.

so tired.

so so so sleepy. can't sleep till night time, because i need to turn it around. but i may die trying.

Up at the Crack of Noon?

I did not make it to church today (and by today, as usual, I mean yesterday as I tend to write after midnight). I didn't really sleep last night and woke up WAY too late. I did make the BML for the gliders a little bit ago. But the closest thing I did to church today was to watch Little House on the Prairie people go to church. Since that show is pretty boring (though my sister ADORES it and we call her Half-Pint), that was pretty weird of me. But yeah, not my finest day, righteousness-wise.

Holy Crap! The Untouchables is a fairly horrible show! It is on TV right now and YIKES! Okay, at least they saved the baby going down the stairs now. So much shooting and blood though. Not that that should surprise me, I mean Al Capone and such, but dude! *shudder* I should really get to bed now, anyway. Days are WAY too short when you can't drag your butt out of bed before noon.

So, this week now that that diabetes class is over, I need to:
1. Get a Job
2. Pay for School
3. Work on my House
4. Get back into Water Aerobics (because even though I seem to be world's slowest healer, I think my surgery holes are healed up enough to swim FINALLY!)
5. Get back into CHURCH!
6. Get Up Early, take my meds, and try to get this whole insomnia thing FIXED before classes start and I DIE.
7. Pay my bills with what is left of my saving after I pay tuition.

I really hope this whole school thing is a good idea. It has been so long since I went, and I really want to get my Bachelors... AND my ASL interpreter's License.

At least that's what I *think* I want. Well, finally finishing my BA is a given, but I THINK I want to be an interpreter for the Deaf. I love American Sign Language. But I just hope against hope I am GOOD enough and also that I continue to like it if I study it for several hours a day or do it as a career. I think I will... maybe.

To be honest, I know things I like... but I do NOT really know what I want to BE any more. I used to, I really did. Heck, I am 27 years old and no longer know what I want to be "when I grow up." I hate that floating. I used to know. Now I don't. But the sign thing, well, it's a new possibilty. It is one of the many *things* I like... so let's see if I can make a career of it.

Sigh.

I guess we'll just See. <:OC

Polly Wanna Sarcastic Remark?

Wow. Now that's just Eerily accurate!

You Were a Parrot

You are a master of language, and you use your wit to mock and tease others. But you are also wise, and you often think carefully before you speak.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Automagically Nourished?

There is CHRISTMAS music on TV right now. Christmas! In August! I know it's just a rerun, but I still think it's a little cruel! I am standing right by our cooler because it seems to do NOTHING for the rest of the dang house. It is hot and yucky... and have visions of sugar plumbs dancing in my head. Except that they are not so much sugar plumbs (which I am GUESSING are, like, gumdrops?) as they are snow and kids and presents and snow and Christmas trees and snow and not hot weather and snow...

I am sick and tired of being Hot. And Hungry. And Sick. And Tired. This whole blood sugar thing is dang annoying. And I have NO motivation and TONS to do today. I feel like I have to be eating all the time with this dumb meal plan and yet, I am always hungry. I don't like even thinking about food that much. Like if I could just take a pill instead, I would. Eating is annoying when you have to do a bunch of homework to do so. AAARGH...

Stupid food.

But I DO have a buttload of plans for being healthier. I joined FitDay and even decided it was worth it to get the PC version that cost. That and a massive pile of diabetes materials from class... I HAVE PLANS. Bringing them to fruition is another story. But what should I eat right NOW? Preferably something that appears like magic in front of me so I don't have to cook it. Okay... GO! (oddly, nothing has appeared.)

Dang it all!

I guess I will be back in a moment since I will need to prepare some food after all. My telekinetic powers must be on the fritz. ;O) hee hee!

So once the frozen semi-low carb tortillas thaw a bit so I can get one OFF the stack, I am going to attempt a breakfast burrito type thing with egg and fake sausage. And some raw cucumber (NOT in the wrap).




Yeah. ATTEMPT. Sometimes even I am astounded at my lack of cooking skills. Watching a mindless movie on TV right now, I *think* it's "The Crew." About gangster-types that are now old men losing their apartment that get mixed back into stuff. It is mildly entertaining. I am just too BLEH to actually accomplish anything today. I NEED to make BML for my sugar gliders today, but I will probably end up cleaning cages after church tomorrow. But I AM going to go to church. I am needing to get myself RIGHT. Do what I need to, follow the Lord, all of that. I need that. I probably need it more than even this health stuff... what is the point of feeling better and but not being a better person?



The Official "Naughty or Nice" Ranking
for Bethann: Nice (C+)